AN: I just wanted to tell people that this is an InuXKag fic... hey... in some stories Kikyou and Inuyasha are together too... but you really don't go around asking if it's a kag/inu story right? Well, the reason this is sounding more and more like an inu/kik fic is because this is Kagome's point of view... and she's seriously doubting everything at this point...
BTW... another note on diary entries... I know people have long entries, and you guys would like it too... but i want to keep the feel of a real diary in here, so details/other's opinons/etc etc will not really be shown. after all... it's a diary. Besides... the fact that the entries aren't as long as my other stories makes me have enough energy to type out a chapter daily... be happy.
And damn you all! I feel so bad that all my chapters are short, so I'm updating two EXTRA chapters today. Feel lucky bastards...
Entry Seven
February 9th
Dear Diary,
I had a great time shopping! I know this sounds corny, but I felt so young! Yeah. That sounds corny alright. Not young in the sense of age or thought. I just felt so free and I felt as if I left all my worries somewhere far behind. Yeah, that sounds even cornier, but yeah. That's the kind of feeling I only get when I'm with my best friends. It just gives me a feeling that no one will put me down for being me, will critize me, and will love me for being me. I guess that comes with the territory of the 'family love' that my father gave us.
Kagura, who seems to have had in mind what to buy, bought a silk kimono worth $700. She told us that he (Sesshoumaru) was very into Medieval Japan. Sango started teasing Kagura about his 'fetish' and they began bickering. It wasn't a serious bickering, but more of a teasing fest. Sango compared how Sesshoumaru and Kagura act now to how they acted when they were 'courting' (and she actually used this word because that was what Sesshoumaru said he and Kagura were doing. He kept denying that they were dating and called it courting...). The ironic thing is they act the same way they did when they WERE dating.
Well, for the record, I've had this diary for four days now. It seems as if I'm thinking more and more about the whole stupid affair with Inuyasha and Kikyou. Writing down all this really does work. I've had it with all this chaos. Re-reading over my entries has made me realize I am just tormenting myself into staying with Inuyasha.
If he truly loved me, wouldn't he have just chosen me the moment I asked him to?
He has not answered my call and I'm fed up with all of this. I'm going to his office tomorrow during my lunch break. It's going to be the first time I've seen him in two weeks. I haven't seen him since I left his office that day, telling him to choose. This time, it will be to tell him that this relationship is over. I love him as much I ever have and ever can possibly love him. But this charade is just too much and I just cannot take it anymore. I know he is suffering too, and I would just rather see him happy with her than tormenting himself with telling me that it is over. That is just the way things have to be.
"She was beautiful and had everything and more..." - Ashlee Simpson
