13. Hugging the Pillow

He'd been gone for over three months now.

Three months and three days, to be exact, and Wolfram could be exact. He could be exact because he counted every day that Yuuri was absent from Shin Makoku, and whether he liked it or not, the number was burned into his head.

After two weeks he'd gone to the palace of the Original King and demanded, unsuccessfully, that Ulrike bring Yuuri back immediately.

After two months he'd gone back and demanded, unsuccessfully, to see Murata, who had gone into seclusion.

After two months and two weeks he started refusing to leave their room. This morning was no different.

"Wolfram," a gentle voice called from the other side of the door.

It was Conrad. "Go away," Wolfram said flatly, not moving from his place on the bed.

"It's time for morning drills."

"I'm not leaving." He threw a pillow half-heartedly at the door.

A pause. "Get up and get dressed. That's an order, Wolfram."

"Then I'm resigning from the service." They had this conversation every day. It always ended the same way.

"...I'll process another day of vacation for you, then."

Wolfram listened to the older man's footsteps disappear down the hall. He let out a long sigh. Conrad could easily break that door down, but he never did. Wolfram guessed he kept the others from coming after him too. Deep down, he knew the reason his commander and older brother was being so accommodating was because he understood what Wolfram was going through. Conrad's heart was breaking too - he just chose to express it in a different way.

The blonde boy curled around a large fluffy pillow, the blankets bunching around his thin body. He wrapped his arms around it and inhaled deeply, certain that he could still smell Yuuri there, even after all this time. It wasn't much, but if he closed his eyes, and turned his head just so, then he could almost pretend it was him. Almost.

Another day passed, the sun rising and falling as Wolfram strayed into memories and dreams, halfway hoping he would lose his way and never return.