The door opened seconds before Jason's hand touched the knob. He leaned against the wall with Zander holding him up. He groaned and his eyes closed. He could feel at least one of his wounds starting to ooze. Blood trickled down his stomach and would have been visible had he worn a white t-shirt. Trying to ignore the pain in his stomach and the shocked stare that came from inside the penthouse, he turned to Zander and said, "When you go to Carly, have her call the school and let the girls and Michael know that Joe's gonna follow 'em home from school."
Zander nodded, his head straight towards Sam. She stood with her jacket over her arm. She held black leather gloves in her hands. She had been stopped mid-stride when she saw Jason standing there and her knees started to buckle as they tried to hold her stance. Zander couldn't tell if she was going to scream or cry, but either choice wasn't one he particularly wanted to be there for.
"Can I, uh, get him inside?"
Sam blinked. Her eyes had been focused solely on Jason with the shadows of tunnel vision. Her mouth opened and closed, unable to find words to say to Zander. She turned back to Jason and asked, "What are you doing here?"
"Sam…"
"No. Don't Sam me. I was on my way to the hospital to see you, but you're standing here. And…. I know you're not healed because your injuries don't heal that fast." Her hand went to her forehead, hovering for a second before sliding into her hair. She gripped a handful of hair and shook her head. "You're supposed to be in the hospital."
"Sam, please…"
"Does Lorenzo know you're here?" She turned to Zander. "Does Lorenzo know he's out of the hospital?"
Zander answered, "Lorenzo got him released."
"Great." She groaned and rolled her eyes. She wouldn't say it out loud, but in her mind, she was wondering just how much Lorenzo really cared about Jason if he would let him leave the hospital. How much did he really care if he would put the needs of his own business and family above Jason's health?
She shook her head and stepped forward. Jason stood up and Sam slid in on the side of him, putting his arm over her shoulders. "Zander, help me get him upstairs." She sighed as they walked him inside. Sam kicked the door closed behind them, then headed up the stairs and around the corner.
Once Jason was on the bed, Zander took his exit quickly, leaving Sam and Jason alone. Sam watched with mixed emotions as Jason twisted on the bed. Part of her wanted to scream at him for being so stupid, for being loyal well beyond the call of duty. She wanted to tell him that it was his own fault that he was in pain and it served him right for leaving the hospital. And yet, another part of her just wanted to cry. The skin around his eyes was red and thick with creases from a strain that she attributed to him being too manly to cry. His usually crystalline eyes were dark, almost gray with the weight of his pain. His lips were parted and shallow breaths pushed past them. She wanted to hold him and make everything better.
"Don't…" Jason groaned and pushed himself up on the bed until his head was at the top of the pillows. "Don't be mad at Lorenzo. I made him get me out."
"You made him." She snorted. "You made Lorenzo Alcazar do something. Nobody makes Lorenzo Alcazar do anything he doesn't want to, not even Carly. So, don't you lay there and tell me not to be mad at him."
"You don't understand." His body lolled to the side and the bottom of his shirt rose. He flattened his hand to his stomach and felt blood oozing around his fingers. "I couldn't stay there. It's too dangerous out here."
"The only danger out here is that you'll hurt yourself even more." Sam sighed. She saw the blood and turned on her heel without a word. Stomping into the bathroom, she was grateful that they kept a steady supply of gauze. She wet a towel, grabbed some antiseptic and a handful of individually wrapped gauze pads, and went back into the bedroom.
She didn't say anything as she rose his shirt. Blood seeped through the individual bandages that decorated his stomach and chest, though to her surprise, the biggest of his scars was still intact. There was no blood coming from the scar that marked where doctors had to surgically remove the bullets in his side.
Sam focused on the task at hand, removing the bandages and cleaning his wounds. So many people said that there was nothing she could do for him, that she was just using Jason because he would do anything for her. At times, she even wondered about her own worth to Jason. Once, Lorenzo had told her that the love she had for Jason was what kept him going in their dark world, similar to what Carly's love did for him, but she hadn't been able to buy that. In the end, she was still living off of him, living in his home and hardly contributing anything. Now, though, with Jason in trouble, she could take care of him. She could tend to his wounds and tell him how stupid it was for him to be out of the hospital. There was something she could do for him besides love him.
"You should really be in the hospital," she muttered. Hair that had previously been tucked behind her ear fell into her face. She shook her head, unwilling to contaminate her hands by pushing the hair back, and sighed. "And you should have told me that you were out." She taped one piece of gauze in place and moved to another leaking wound. "I know that you have to help Lorenzo and you want to be there for him, but this… Jason, this is serious. You could get an infection or something."
"I didn't leave the hospital for Lorenzo." His voice was strained. He groaned lightly but didn't move. He looked down at Sam, and reached out, trying to push her hair back. His fingertips touched her bangs and was only able to slightly push it back. The hair fell right back into her face. "I left for you."
Sam's motions came to a slow halt. She looked up at Jason and blew at the hair in her face. "You…"
"It's dangerous, Sam. It's so dangerous that Luis came back to town, and I knew…" He sucked in a hard line of hair through his teeth, then slowly let it out as the moment of pain subsided. "I knew," he went on, "that you wouldn't trust anybody else. You… You need me and I can't not be here when you need me."
"Jason…" She put her head down quickly, almost ashamed that she was so needy that he would endanger his own health for her. She studiously cleaned and rebandaged the last of his wounds, then lowered his shirt back down. Sam moved to the side and crawled up until she was perched beside his head. He rolled his head to look at her as she said, "I'm not that important. Not so much that you can do… this…"
"You are important." Weakly, he reached out and this time, he was able to push her hair back. He let his arm drop and his hand landed on top of her blood-spotted hand. "You're important to me. I can't stay there, knowing you could get hurt. Lorenzo knows this isn't just about him, it's not about the business. It's about you, Sam."
"I don't want it to be about me. I…" She paused as tears started to fall down her cheeks. She went to wipe it away, then realized there was blood on her hands and stopped. Jason wiped them away for her. When she started talking again, her voice was thick with emotion. "I want you to be alright. I can take care of myself as long as you're okay. I mean… I sat there, and I cried and it was so pathetic, but I cried until I knew you were okay. And, I don't wanna cry like that anymore."
"I don't want you to cry."
"Then go back to the hospital."
"I can't," he said softly. "I can't trust your life to someone else. I don't trust anyone else to keep you safe, and I can't live like that."
"You can't even get around, Jason."
"I don't have to. I told Lorenzo when he took me out of the hospital that I'd do what I had to do here. I'm strategy and security, Sam. I can do that from this bed, and Lorenzo understands. Luis… He understands. He may not like it, but he understands. So, just…" He took hold of her head and brought her down for a soft kiss. "So, just let it drop, okay? I've been shot before. I'll be fine."
"You've been shot before, but I haven't seen you shot before." She sat up and shook her head. "And you… you're in pain, so, um, I'll call Monica or something and…"
"I've got medication. I left it across the hall."
"Then, I'll go get it." She climbed off the bed and turned away from him. She was still crying, and she hated anyone to see her cry, especially Jason. It made her look weak, and he loved her because she wasn't weak. They fit together because she wasn't a damsel in distress. Though, watching him in pain, seeing the ache in his eyes, her felt like it would stop beating.
Sam went into the bathroom and washed her hands. She looked in the mirror and the skin around her eyes was as dark as Jason's. She threw water on her face, glad that she'd been in too much of a rush to get to the hospital to put on make-up, then looked up. She still looked bad, but at least when she dried her face, the wetness of tears was gone.
She went back into the bedroom and leaned against the wall just outside of the bathroom. "I'll go and get your medicine and then…"
"Then just… lay here with me, Sam. I miss your head on my shoulder.
She sniffed and forced out a short laugh. "You're gonna make me cry again." She ran her hands through her hair then stood up straight. "I'll just get that from Lorenzo and come back."
"And don't yell at him. And, I'm begging you, don't ask him to send me back. He didn't want to get me out in the first place, and if you ask him, if you tell him that I'm bleeding he'll make me go back. One person already turned on me where Lorenzo was concerned, Sam. Don't do it to me again."
"I'd never turn on you, Jason. No matter who it was concerned." She sighed and walked to the door. "Just, don't move. Okay? I'll come back and lay with you because I missed laying next to you. But, you've got to promise me that you won't move until I get back."
"I promise."
She looked at him and for the first time, actually believed that he would keep that promise. It wasn't that Jason was in the game of breaking his promises to her. Enough people had done that in the past that she knew an honest man when she saw one. She also knew that it was impossible for Jason to lie, which was why she had him make the promise. If he knew he couldn't keep it, he wouldn't have made it. Sam just worried that it would be like the hospital. Try as he might, there were just some promises that were impossible to keep. But this one wasn't one of them, because he had what he wanted and he was where he wanted to be. And the fact that the place he wanted to be was with her made the situation just a little better.
