Title: No Sense In Running
Disclaimer: Purely for entertainment. No infringement intended.
Pairings: Possible Faith/Jess, possible Faith/Buffy.
Rating: R for language, themes


Chapter 4

The drive to Sunnydale was pretty much silent. I'd told Jess to go and meet me there, that I wasn't gonna skip out on her. I wanted to promise but…those sentimental trips mean nothing to me.

So I rode home in the car with Willow. I was surprised she didn't ass-whoop me for nearly killin' her friends and turning psycho…and never apologising.

I didn't try to apologise. Everything they'd been through and I'd been through was beyond apologies.

'You did a brave thing back there,' I told her as we headed off the freeway past a board sign-posting 'Sunnydale.'

She nodded her head. 'You too.'

'Nah,' I told her quickly. 'I think it's you we have to thank.' She stole a glance my way and I sighed quickly. 'No, really, I mean it.' My tone remained solemn and I tried to keep still as we travelled back to Revello Drive.

I saw her raise an eyebrow and I couldn't do anything to that than absorb it. She had every right to stay pissed at me. I did try to destroy Buffy's life, which included her.

'Okay, Will, you have every right to stay mad at me, but if we're gonna be livin' together then maybe we should at least be on talking terms-'

'Lay one finger on my family…and I will personally strip every vein from your body. Strength or no strength. I have other ways of…'

'Yeah, the er…evil Red, whatever.' I lowered my tone. 'I hold you to that.'

She nodded her head as she kept her eyes on the road. But all of a sudden we were screeching to a halt and she was hurrying towards a girl lying unconscious or perhaps dead…either way…we don't stop fighting.

I got out the other side of the car and began walking towards them. All I could see ahead of me was darkness, and this unconscious girl before me. Darkness, and death.

'Yep,' I muttered. 'Guess I'm back in Sunnydale.'

- - -

Alright, so it turns out that girl in the road is a potential, just like Jess. Only looked a lot less strong. I wouldn't mark her for a p.s. even if she didn't look like a battered apple.

But anyways. Speaking more of the big picture. Arriving at the house was easier than I thought. Seeing as meeting with B and her new 'boyfriend' was the hardest part I was expecting. Buffy back in the arms of her home. Me. Back. To possibly mess up shit again. I didn't intend to step down that path but push me and I could.

'Hey, got a spare bed for a wanted fugitive?' I uttered, putting on my best face, and hoping they wouldn't punch me (or spit depending on their mood).

Giles and the Buffy-brat shifted and Buffy furrowed her eyebrows.

'Well, I guess "wanted" wasn't really accurate.'

Dawn piped up, and stepped forward a little bit. 'Does she have to stay here? Because there's some nice hotels that welcome tried-to-kill-your-sister types.'

As much as I tried to hold back, I just had to let this one pop. 'Check it out. Brat's all woman-sized.'

'Look, I need to get to the hospital. Some girl was attacked on her way into town. We think she might be a-'

'We know. Willow's been calling.'

'She's still there. She's gonna call if the girl wakes up.'

Buffy gave G-Man a deathly glare and headed out of the room as she mumbled something to herself. I stepped forward into the dining room, watching Dawn for a moment, then looked to Giles.

'Well, Faith, we better, um, see if we can find some place to squeeze you in for the night,' Giles told me, and I headed up the stairs just behind him.

I cleared my throat as I headed upstairs, sliding my hand up the banister as we walked. 'So I hear it's been a struggle?' I dunno. My best shot. I don't usually like to make with the small-talk.

'When isn't it…' he mumbled beneath his breath and removed his glasses from his face as he pushed a door to that as far as I could remember was Joyce's room. I heard she died. Must have been tough.

First thing I saw was a room full of girls, laughing, joking, bein' all, girly girly…and I stepped back and gazed at Giles. 'Please tell me there's a free bedroom next door?'

He glanced my way and sighed. 'You'll be lucky if you can find a free square centimetre.' We walked along to the next room and he opened his mouth to speak. 'Actually, there's the hallway, if you'd prefer, or the loft, which…you might…' his voice trailed off as he opened the bedroom door and hey presto, same mighty ol' thing goin' on.

I creased my forehead and groaned to myself. 'Pleeeease…' He stepped aside and introduced the girls to me.

'Girls, this is Faith.'

'Ooooh, I heard about you, you're that other slayer from L.A. that went psycho and started killing everybody,' a small blonde girl said from behind a tower of popcorn.

Another girl spoke and I silently prayed they wouldn't try to paint my toenails and make curls with my hair the moment Giles left me alone with them. 'Erm…should we be staying here with her, I mean…we came here to be safe, right…?'

I raised an eyebrow and turned, headed in the opposite direction of the room, and down the stairs, jogging.

I heard Giles coming after me and called my name. 'Faith…'

'I wanna reinforce my "wanted" statement,' I said as I headed through into the lounge, where Jess was sitting, alone, on the couch. And as she looked up into my eyes, I knew.

- - -

I took her hands into mine and asked her to repeat to me what she'd just said. Baring in mind Giles had seen and heard this, and now was standing the archway between the foyer and this room.

She sniffled tears back and exhaled loud, and as she looked up to the ceiling and inhaled, I wondered if she could get those words out again.

'Jess…'

She shook her head and lowered it. I heard her breathing, and watched at how her fed up body slumped. She needed sleep.

'It was Buffy,' she began. My eyes widened and I glanced at Giles, both of our faces covered with concern.

'What'd she say?' I uttered, my voice low and gravely as if I hadn't spoken since sleep.

She cleared her throat and gazed up into my eyes. I met them with my own, and tried hard as I could to search for answers through her mind than through her words.

'That…I should stay away from you.'

Oh. That I could understand. She wanted me away from all living objects…I squinted my eyes and tilted my head a little.

'She kept saying all this stuff about everything being swallowed up and evil consuming all good and you being a part of that transition. That I needed to stay away from you…for your own good. That we needed to shove you out, that you shouldn't be here. You don't belong here. You have to die.'

Whoa. Back up. Wasn't it B who had come to 'get me' to help with this war?

This was too much. I had to get out.

- - -

'Faith; wait,' I heard her say as I stalked my way out of the house. She wanted me out. Fine…I'm out. Looks like it's back to the penitentiary for me.

I slammed the door and just walked, away from the house, into the front yard, away from it all.

God, I was so sick of this.

All at once I could feel her approaching me, her solemn attitude flaring up into something larger. Even though she was quiet, she was as ballsy as me when she was pent up, and as she grabbed my arm and held me back I realised that was it. Her powerful self, holding me back. When I needed her.

'Faith, for the love a god, talk to me!' she said, raising her voice at me.

I tried to ignore her, feeling the tears beginning to well up in my eyes. She couldn't see me cry. She had to know that I could stand this shit, not the opposite.

I slowed up my pace, and ran my fingers back through my hair, looking out at the night and its endless dark.

I couldn't feel her beside me. But god, I could still feel her presence. Comforting as it was, I really wanted to be alone. But she remained with me.

'What are you afraid of?' I heard her say, her voice overpowered by the midnight wind pushing my hair out of my face. 'Her?'

I hesitated at first, not wanting to share. But…who the hell else better to share with?

'She…just…' I could see her moving into the space beside me, and glanced briefly her way. I inhaled deep, making this decision inside myself, selfish or not. '…We can't stay.'

She outstretched her hands. 'Then why the fuck are we standin' here, Fay? So, she doesn't like you, so what! Gotta have a few enemies in this world-'

'Jess, c'mon-'

'Fay, I cannot BELIEVE this!' She licked over her lips and outstretched a finger to me. 'You are afraid of her, aren't you?'

Silence. I damn well am not. But maybe I'm afraid of her stickin' another large intimidatin' knife in my hobnob.

'Why are you doin' this Fay? I thought we agreed that this place was the way out?'

'Out of what? This war?'

'Of course not, Faith! What the…?' She scrunched her face up, lookin' at me as if I was wearing a large pink clown suit tryin' to be amusing. She removed a cigarette from her pocket and lit it up. The orange bead glowed as she sucked on it a while, and as she puffed out the smoke, she muttered words. 'You need to tell me why, Faith. Because I honestly…I'm sick of this. We need to be honest, Fay. Or else…what do we have?'

She was right. I had her. Right now. This whole time we'd been at each other's side, honest and straightforward. We did all this together. But she walks in and that all changes.

'She told me things, Fay. Things about you, that…damn, I didn't wanna hear, but it's the past, and whatever happened between you two…'

'She paralyses me,' I began, my voice low, and my throat raw, from where I'd cried myself dry.

There was hesitation at first, and then I realised she was taking a drag of her cigarette. 'Go on,' I heard her say, and when I looked at her, a cloud of smoke was surrounding her.

'It's like…whenever I'm around her, I just…I feel this, insatiable need to be better than her. But…whatever it is, I find myself unable to move, or deal. I freeze. I see her and…my past just…comes floodin' back to me.' I took a breath and then continued. 'She was there when it all began. When I staked a guy for real. And he died, I panicked, ran…then…later…told her I didn't care.'

'You lied.'

'Course I lied,' I sneered. 'I wanted her to think I was…tough. Hard. Too much to be messed with.'

'Why?'

'Because I had to be better.' I ran my fingers back through my hair and looked out across the night. 'I tried to teach her how to be a warrior, a tough-shelled fighter ready to take anything. But…when I saw the blood on my hands, and on my shirt, all I could think of was how I was a killer. An animal. How…I wasn't even supposed to be there. I was just…the slayer who was called but…not really…needed…wanted…'

'No, Fay, that ain't true.' She approached me and turned me to face her. A tear fell down my cheek and I bit my lip. 'Ey…look atcha.' She brought a hand to my face and wiped my tears away. 'You're cold.'

'I always have been.'

I took a step back from her, and headed towards the car we'd had, parked out on the road, but she stopped me, and just looked into my eyes.

'Hey,' she said gently, taking hold of my upper arm. 'Whatever it is that you're afraid of…get past it. Buffy may be, a Slayer, but, newsflash…so are you. She wants you out, tough. Her house or not. You're here with me.' She paused and a smile came to her lips as she stepped in close to me. 'You're my Slayer. And I don't care what the other potentials say, I saw you first.' I chuckled a little and pulled her in for a hug. 'I mean it. You're mine, and I ain't leavin' you. I don't care how sick you get of me.' She pulled back and stood before me.

'You and me…we're warriors. We're alive to fight wars, and help stop apocalypses. Ain't no shame nor blame in that. We fight…sure innocent people are gonna get caught up in the mix, but…that's not our fault. It happens. End of. So let's stay here. And kick much apocalypse ass.'

She began to head back inside, and I thought to myself for a moment. 'I'm not gonna lose you…?'

She stopped and turned to look at me. 'What?'

'To her. I'm not…am I?'

She approached me again, this time placing her hands upon my shoulders. 'Fay, it's not about losing. It's about…who we know, who we love. Why we love them.' She tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and looked into my eyes. 'Now I'm not all about the warm fuzzies, but I know love when it hits me. And BELIEVE me, Faith. If B is anything like you say she is…just believe that this feelin' I have for you…ain't gonna make me do nothin' but protect you.' She hit me playfully upon the arm and headed back for the house, putting out her cigarette as she did.

So…she has feelings, huh.


TBC

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