Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
Yuki was just about ready to cut his ears off. Maybe even poke his eyes out. No, just his ears. Just his ears that misinterpreted their words.
He remembered leaving his textbook in Shigure's study and was forced to get it. It wasn't like he would be able to get any homework done without it.
But before entering that room, he heard a wail. It was Mii who shrieked. Even though he chastised him hundreds of times, Shigure still tortured that poor woman! He was about to order Shigure to stop it.
But now he wanted both of them to stop it. Stop the defilement of his ears!
"Now, now, Mii. I'm sorry, but…" He laughed. "Let's be for real. I'm not. This is fun."
"B—But—"
"You wanted it, right? You practically screamed for it. 'C'mon, Shigure! Do it!' And here it is."
"Not this way, dammit! What about last time? It was so good last time!"
"Until you asked for more. I needed rest, but you wanted me to keep on. I had to shove you off of me! As much as I love doing it, I have to regenerate my energy."
"You're so cruel," she whimpered. "And last time, well, you weren't done. I wasn't satisfied yet."
"Mii, I did it for four hours."
A scream filled the air.
"No! Stop it! It's so…inexperienced!" Mii didn't speak until a minute later. "Shigure…"
"Louder…"
"Shigure!"
Even louder, Mii!"
"SHIGURE!"
"Say it, Mii! Say it!"
"Oh, you're the best! The best!"
"Who's a great writer?"
"You're a GREAT writer! A great NOVELIST! Dammit, you're AMAZING!"
Yuki stiffened. He had to run, dammit. Mii and Shigure were DOING something in there, and he didn't plan on witnessing it.
But he couldn't leave his textbook in there. Decision #1: to flee argued with decision #2: to run in there, grab his book, and get out of there.
Yuki backed away, deciding to get it later. Much later…
Desert rolled around. As Shigure complimented Tohru on the delicious cake she made, Yuki excused himself and snuck into Shigure's study.
He shuddered when he looked at the desk. Ironically, the book was under a bunch of papers on the desk. As he picked the papers up, the date on the top sheet caught his eye.
"That's today's date..." His eyes latched onto the paragraph.
"The dog walked down the street. It was black. It had brown eyes and a bow tie on. This dog walked and peed on a fire hydrant, then licked its naughty place and went to sleep. The End."
Lower down, his eyes scanned a racy love scene. It was beautifully detailed, but smutty.
As he tucked the book under his arm and left, he realized that the top paragraph was what Mii was upset about. That was the topic of their conversation!
Sex was going to be a delicate subject for poor Yuki in the future. At this moment, he considered being a male nun so he'd never have to deal with sex ever again.
Ha ha, I feel so bad scarring Yuki's mind! If you R+R, I'll get him the help he needs (the psychiatrist takes payment in reviews).
