Part Five
The Doctor didn't like to feel nervous and he rarely ever allowed himself to do so. It simply wasn't constructive; it lessened his ability to behave in a rational manner and it put himself and others in danger if he couldn't think straight. But he did feel the emotion bubbling up as he dialled Rose's mobile phone, not at all helped by the fact that Jackie was hovering fretfully a few paces away.
It wasn't necessary for Rose to pick up, simply ringing it would amplify the battery's electrical signal enough so the TARDIS could trace it, but deep down he hoped she that did. It would make him feel much better to hear her voice, to know she was alright.
So far he hadn't been able to pinpoint the exact cause of the uneasy feeling that had been trying to smother him ever since he had first realised she was missing. Now he was beginning to understand what it was. It was fear; fear of being alone again, fear of having to live as an outsider. Without Rose he felt isolated and out of place, drifting in a universe which didn't want him. Without her he didn't seem to belong anywhere. He had nothing to secure himself to, nothing to convince himself that he shouldn't have died with the rest of his people. He had to get her back for his own wellbeing as much as anything. Without her he was as useless oddity without a home or purpose.
Momentarily lost in his own thoughts he didn't realise that the phone had stopped ringing until he heard a voice in his ear.
"Hello? Doctor?"
He froze for the smallest instant, shock and relief flooding through him and knocking him slightly for six at the intensity of it. She was all right. She was alive. He'd be okay now. Everything was going to be alright.
Then he heard a muffled thud and a small cry of surprise.
"Rose?" he asked, a little desperately, cursing that the stupid phone technology of this era didn't automatically include a video screen. How were you supposed to communicate effectively with people like this?
"What?" Jackie asked apprehensively, stepping closer, "What's going on?"
The Doctor waved his hand at her irritably, shooing her away, trying to get her to shut up as he strained to hear what was going on. There were two voices; one deeper and certainly male, and one he recognised as being Rose even though he couldn't pick out a word that was being said.
He jumped as a loud angry voice burst out of the speaker into his ear.
"Who the fuck is this?"
He didn't answer, point blankly refusing to converse with his kind. He had nothing to say to him.
"Look, you try anything and I'll fucking kill her, alright? You'll never see her again!"
The young man was trying to sound big and intimidating, but his voice was shaking and he sounded as though he didn't really have a clue. Like he was loosing his grip on the situation and didn't know what to do about it. That unnerved the Doctor greatly and he felt a cold shudder pass through him. A cool, calculating person would realise that Rose was much more valuable to him alive and safe than dead. She had far more worth as a hostage than a murder victim. But a panicked, confused person may get scared and forget that, doing something stupid instead.
His worst fears were confirmed when his sharp hearing picked up on the sounds of a struggle at the other end of the line. The Doctor held the phone to his ear more firmly as if that would help him to figure out what was going on. The struggling noises ending with the smack of bone meeting bone and then silence. The Doctor froze instantaneously, knowing what that meant.
The other man had struck Rose. He'd hit her. After a few dreadful moments the Doctor knew she was alright when he could hear her voice speaking in soft, pleading tones.
The thought of her asking this man for anything made him feel sick. This was Rose Tyler; the woman who had stood at the end of the world, watched her planet burn and survived. Who had been willing to give up her life if it meant saving the world. Who, when faced with imminent death, had thought only to comfort him, and tell him that he shouldn't blame himself.
And here she was, reduced to pleading for her safety with someone so beneath her that she shouldn't even be aware of him. People like Jimmy Stones shouldn't exist in Rose's world anymore. She'd outgrown them.
The idea that he had been violent towards her made the fine hairs on the Doctor's body stand on end. It made his skin prickle and his muscles tense. His gut felt like someone was wringing it in their hands, and a pressure was building inside his head that made him feel like he was going to explode. He closed his eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by these usual feeling, seeing white hot anger flashing under his eyelids. He dropped the phone and gripped firmly at one of the TARDIS's railings to steady himself, trying to quash the urge to lash out in a fury.
He couldn't feel like this. He was a Time Lord, he should be beyond it. He had to be. He was useless to everyone otherwise.
"Are you alright?" he heard Jackie's voice ask in quite, apprehensive tones, and he opened his eyes to turn to look at her.
He didn't know what she saw when she looked at him but for the first time since they'd met, Jackie looked positively afraid of him. She retreated two full paces instantly and almost looked on the verge of bolting out the door, apparently torn between an urge to help her daughter and concern for her own safety.
The Doctor looked down at his hands, his white knuckles still holding the railings in death grip, feeling uncomfortable with the look of dread on her face. The last thing he ever wanted was for anyone to be afraid of him. No one should have to live in fear of anyone else.
He swallowed hard and deliberately, nodding in answer to her question, but not trusting his voice just yet. He mentally pushed the emotions deep down inside himself, hiding them away, channelling them into something more focused.
As he crossed sharply over to the console, Jackie scooting around him, giving him a rather wide berth as she went to pick up the phone that was hanging uselessly by its cord.
"Hello?" she asked anxiously down the line, "Rose? Are you there, sweetheart? Can you hear me?"
She looked back up at the Doctor, eyes wide, her voice shaking as her mind went into overactive panic mode.
"Oh God, what happened?" she asked.
The Doctor didn't answer, just checked out the display on the TARDIS before hurriedly turning a few wheels and dials.
Of course Jackie, influenced by years of soap operas and melodramas, took his silence to mean the worst possible thing.
"She's dead, isn't she?" she whispered on the verge of tears, "Oh God, my little girl's dead."
"She's not dead," he corrected coldly, although in truth he had no way of knowing that for certain. Just a gut instinct that if she was he would feel it.
But he still couldn't shake the feeling that he was out of his depth in this comparatively tame little family drama. That he was in fact far more qualified to go around saving entire planets than rescue one individual from another. Part of the problem he suspected was he was struggling to understand the motivations of this human he'd never met. To his mind none of this made sense and that meant he couldn't second guess him, nor try to stay one step ahead of him and so give himself an advantage. The Doctor was always playing catch up and it was making him feel distinctly like he was going to come off second best in this little battle, even though he really shouldn't.
"Why's he doing this, Jackie?" he asked in a businesslike fashion, glad she was around for the first time ever, "What does he want?"
"Money," she said, his serious tone convincing her to go straight for the no nonsense answer, "Mickey said he was after money. That he was going to try and blackmail you."
"He wants money for her safe return?" the Doctor asked, disgusted but not surprised at the idea. No matter how many times he saw it, he could never understand it. How could this boy value the safety and freedom of his former girlfriend in those terms? How could he bring himself to put a monetary worth on her life?
"Why is it always money with you lot?" he asked irritably, darting around the console to put another set of levers in place, "Whoever said it was the route of all evil was right. Do you know the best years of the human race are when you replace money with fruit for a while? There's much less conflicts. And you're all healthier. Not much nutrition in a ten pound note is there?"
"What are you banging on about?" Jackie snapped sharply, perplexed by his words. If she'd been Rose, the Doctor realised, she'd have been fascinated. She'd have wanted to go there right away. She wouldn't have stuck her head in the sand and pretend he hadn't said that. She wouldn't have looked at him like she thought he was off his head.
"Never mind," he muttered, returning back to the other side of the console and pressing the final two buttons.
"What are you doing?" Jackie asked uneasily, nodding at the console.
"We're moving. Hold on to something."
The moment the TARDIS landed safely the Doctor was heading towards the door, stepping past Jackie who was hauling herself to her feet again having fallen heavily when they bumped down. Hadn't he told her to hold on? It wasn't his fault that she couldn't follow simple instructions. Besides, she was still nattering on so he guessed that she hadn't been injured.
"What are you doing?" she asked hurriedly, looking around in shock, eyeing the TARDIS suspiciously as though she was worried it was about to eat her or something, "What just happened? Where are we?"
He ignored her questions, leaving through the double doors and stepping straight out into a torrential rainstorm, thunder rolling around in the distance. He briefly wondered if Rose had been wearing a coat when she left before he mentally berated himself for being concerned over something so petty. Honestly, what was he turning in to?
They had landed in a field of high grass the TARDIS flattening a good four feet of it in all directions from the force of her landing. He quickly scanned the area with eagle eyes, seeing well enough despite the darkness and the sheets of rain. The place looked deserted; Rose was nowhere to be seen.
If Jimmy had found out she had rung someone, the Doctor reasoned, he'd be scared that they'd be tracked down and caught. He would have wanted to leave here as soon as possible. He had taken Mickey's car so there must have been a road somewhere nearby which they'd stopped on…
He glanced around and spotted an embankment leading up, guessing that was where the road was. Running over there, wet grass clutching at his legs and trying to slow him down, he bounded up the slope in two paces coming straight onto the road. Just opposite and to his right a little there were large tire indentations in the grass verge. Someone had obviously stopped there for a while. And recently too considering that the tracks went deep into the soggy ground and mud trails were sprawled all over the road, heading south.
He turned sharply on his heels and headed back to the TARDIS. This was making things tricky. The TARDIS travelled much faster than any car ever could. It wasn't like he could just pick up the signal from Rose's phone again and follow on behind them. When travelling such short distances in space - whilst trying to avoid accidentally skipping ahead in time - it was very tricky to be accurate, especially considering the machine was never really designed to be piloted single-handedly. If he tried to follow them directly he'd likely overshoot by thousands of miles and at least a month. The best option was to wait until they stopped again, even if that did mean leaving Rose with Jimmy longer than the Doctor liked.
As he reached the TARDIS he saw Jackie hanging around in the open doorway, standing with her back to him.
"Do you mind?" he muttered irritably, noticing the puddle of water forming in the doorway, "She doesn't appreciate getting wet inside."
Jackie turned around to shush him and he could see that she had a mobile phone clutched to her ear. He opened his mouth to impatiently explain the possible problems she'd cause in trying to call Rose again, and how it was generally not a good idea to upset an apparently unstable young man any more than was necessary. He was silenced though when he heard a sound that he found absolutely sickening.
Coming from the grass, not three feet away was the bright, tinkling melody that he instantly recognised as Rose's ring tone. He knew for absolutely certain that it was hers – she had found that particular lovely alien music in the TARDIS's archives and she had liked it so much that he had offered to transfer it to her phone for her.
Following the sound, both his hearts thudding noticeable in his chest, he walked ten paces to his left before reaching down into the soaking wet grass and plucking out the small, orange phone. He spent a long moment staring blankly at the 'Mum calling' message on the screen.
Walking hollowing back into the TARDIS, pushing past Jackie, he crossed to the central column and leant heavily down on the console, staring down at the soft green glow below him. What was he supposed to do now? Just how did that idiot Jimmy expect to contact him and ask for a ransom if he didn't have a phone? What kind of ridiculous ape like reasoning was it to throw his only means of communication away?
And how was the Doctor supposed to find her if he didn't have anything to track? It was near impossible to pick out one single human life form in a particular time period, what with all the other life swarming across this planet. He couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe he'd lost Rose to some juvenile reprobate who was even dumber than Mickey.
This was his fault. He'd hesitated. He'd thought too much about things. He'd spent too much time worrying about her and fretting over the dark thoughts in his mind to actually get on with rescuing her. If only he'd left as soon as he'd connected to her phone he could have gotten here in time…
There was only one option left to him and it was indeed a long shot. But, he reasoned to himself, she had only ever tried to help him. He didn't know if it was possible but it was worth a try.
He patted the console of the TARDIS affectionately.
"Right then," he said, "Looks like it's up to you now old girl. I'm out of ideas."
He looked around, not entirely sure what to address, settling on calling out to the central column in front of him.
"You know Rose," he reasoned, "You like her, I know you do. I need you to find her for me. She belongs here."
The column glowed a little brighter and a grin flitted across his face.
"You understand me, don't you? You know what I want."
The TARDIS lurched a little.
"I can't find her but I suspect you can. I need your help."
He took a deep breath, preparing to put into words the thing he had avoided saying for so long, afraid it was a weakness that he shouldn't admit. Afraid he was setting himself up for a big fall.
"Please," he asked softly, "I don't want to lose her. I can't face that."
For the smallest moment he thought he could hear the ship respond in his mind, thought he could hear the heart of the TARDIS talking to him, telling him she would do her best and everything would be okay. Telling him that she would never let him down. That he wasn't the only one who had lost everything with the destruction of Gallifrey. That whatever happened he was never alone.
The fragile moment was lost when Jackie's sharp voice split the air.
"What the hell are you doing?" she said her face set with derision, her tone suggesting she thought he was a complete idiot.
"Talking to the TARDIS," he said, unable to smooth the grin from his features at the thought.
"It's a bloody machine!" Jackie snapped, "How's a bunch of wires, a wheel and a bicycle pump supposed to help my daughter?"
The Doctor glanced at her with raised eyebrows. Yep, they still had a long way to go yet.
"And," he added, addressing the TARDIS once more, jabbing his thumb back at Jackie, "The quicker we find Rose, the quicker she leaves."
Almost instantaneously the central console flew into life, the screen on it rapidly flashing images up as the search began.
"Thought you might like that idea," the Doctor said with a smile, stepping up to watch her progress.
The images started with hundreds of pictures of monkeys. Okay, close but no cigar.
Next came apes. Better. At least she'd eliminated everything with a tail.
Now humans. Excellent. Same species.
Woman. Great. Right gender.
Blondes. Getting closer.
Young blonde women. Superb.
Young blonde English women. Brilliant.
Young blonde English women in the London area. Fantastic.
The TARDIS paused then, cycling through the same set of images. The Doctor frowned, wondering if she was stuck.
Then a cool green beam of light shot out and scanned quickly over Jackie.
"Oi!" she exclaimed, jumping away from the light within seconds, "What are you doing?"
The Doctor's grin had met epic proportions.
"She's scanning your DNA," he realised with manic joy, "She's using it to narrow down the search even further! She's doing it!"
"How?"
"I have absolutely no idea!" he exclaimed, worryingly overjoyed by the fact.
The screen continued to cycle through the same images of young blonde girls at lightning speed.
"Come on," he muttered, encouragingly, "You're doing it. You're so close…"
And then it stopped.
There was Rose. It was her. He hardly got a good look at the image before it turned into a map with a moving dot on it.
"You beauty!" he exclaimed, slapping the console hard in triumph before looking mildly apologetic and soothingly rubbing the spot he'd whacked.
Moments later the dot stopped moving and the TARDIS sprang to life once more, not waiting for him to set the coordinates to go.
The still grinning Doctor turned to warn Jackie but she was already tightly gripping the railing, obviously remembering what had happened last time.
"See," he said, almost bouncing ecstatically, "You can learn!"
