Extract from the Personal journal of Legolas Thranduillion.
Ada made the suggestion that I put down on parchment what it is that I am most afraid of in the hope that I can deal with this fear. It is easier said than done.
What am I afraid of? I would have to say that the thing I am most afraid of is pain. It is just not the pain I have suffered from my legs, but rather from the pain on the inside. A pain that is so deep that no amount of healing or herbs can ever hope to fix it.
For my entire life I have been ignored by my father, my true father. He has never once raised a hand at me in violence but neither did he give me love. I often used to think that if he did hit me, I would at least have know he felt something for me and that he was not simply devoid of any emotion towards me.
Some times I hope he would come and see me and make my dreams real. So far they have not.
End of entry.
Legolas sat astride Cloud; he could feel Glorfindel's body pressing against him. "Relax, Legolas you are as stiff as a board. Nothing will happen, trust me." Glorfindel encouraged Cloud to move slowly. Legolas' immediate action was to hold tightly onto her mane and cling on for all his worth. As the Mare made her way slowly across the field in steady even steps, Legolas could not stop him self from shaking.
Legolas had refused to tell his brother's about his lessons in riding again; he did not know why he did not want them to know just now. He had agreed, though with Glorfindel that Elrond should know.
So as Glorfindel held Legolas on the horse, Elrond held his left leg to keep it steady and aid his balance. Legolas some how managed to keep his right leg steady and in place.
After ten minutes of this steady sedate pace Glorfindel asked. "Do you wish to try a jog, Legolas?"
The Prince froze and his trembling increased as fear coursed through him. "No! I mean, no please, Glorfindel I really do not want to go any faster than this."
"It is well, you do not have to do it today, you are already making steady progress, and it will come. Do you wish to dismount?
Legolas nodded and Cloud slowly made her way over to the ramp that had been built specifically to help Legolas get both on and off the horse. With Elrond's help Legolas dismounted and sat into his chair with a soft sigh of relief. His legs felt as if they were on fire, wave after wave of pain was coursing through them.
Accepting the pain relieving herbs from Elrond he chewed on the bitter medicine feeling the relief as the pain settled and his legs relaxed. Glorfindel pushed the chair and Elrond steadied it as they slowly made their way back to the house.
Legolas gave a wide yawn as Glorfindel and Elrond lifted the chair up the stairs that led the way towards the personal family chambers. They helped Legolas slide into bed reassuring him that they would wake him up in time for the mid day meal.
As the two Eldar's walked towards Elrond's study they discussed Legolas.
"He has made amazing progress if you consider that a few months ago he could not even walk. Now he is up and about and even learning to ride again, but there is something missing."
Elrond nodded as he listened to Elrond speak, he knew what his old friend was getting at. "He needs the love of his family to get him through this and I mean all of his family including Thranduil." Elrond's stopped walking and in a fit of unusual frustration he struck out at the wall. "How can that sorry excuse of a father treat his only son like this?"
Glorfindel took in his friends face, he knew just what Elrond meant, he had thought the same thing, but it was unusual for Elrond to display such raw emotion. "He has you and your sons, he is very happy here, you know that."
"I know that he has us and you also, but he needs more. No love can ever replace the love he feels for his sire. Before you say any more, I know me but I do not pretend that he most likely is more attached to Thranduil."
He two Lord's sighed having found no way further forward and they continued on to Elrond's study.
The mid day meal was a quiet affair and all the family sat in silence eating. That is it was silent until Elladan had decided that enough was enough.
"Adar, can I ask where you were this morning? We all saw you leave the house early this morning and then return a few hours ago with an exhausted Legolas."
Estel and Elrohir nodded their agreement with their elder brother.
"It is not my place to tell you where we went. It is also not your place to ask this question. You can not just demand to know what someone is doing." Elrond reprimanded three of his four sons.
"It is alright, Ada they can be told. I should not have kept it from them to start with. I was in the field having a riding lesson." Legolas informed the three stunned beings.
Estel jumped up from his chair and made his way to Legolas' side. Once there he pulled the Prince into a hug." That is wonderful news, Legolas. It is fantastic that you have the courage to ride again."
Glorfindel answered for Legolas. "He always had the courage, Estel he just needed to regain his confidence."
The family smile and Legolas felt a real wonderful feeling of belonging.
"We will be leaving for Lothlorien in three days. I want you all packed and ready. Glorfindel has found a way of taking Legolas' chair with us. Legolas will ride in front of me. Do any of you have any questions you would like to ask?" Elrond looked around the table as he said this.
They all shook their heads and after finishing their meal raced off to begin their packing. Legolas followed at a slower pace, stopping as he drew near to Elrond. He placed a kiss on the Elf Lord's cheek.
"Thank you for loving me, Ada." He left leaving behind him a rather bemused Elrond.
Okay to all my wonderful reviewers I apologise because of this short chapter but I have neither the energy or skill right now to add more.
I have started to run out of ideas for this story so I would like to ask for any suggestions from any of you for directions or ideas for how to continue he story.
Knight Kenobi of Eryn Lasgalen: I will tell Legolas and see if he wants lessons from you.
Pointy-eared-elfs: Any length of review is good.
Triptych : I hope that you continue to like. It is starting to lose steam in my head so I may end it soon but I may receive some inspiration soon.
Kuramagal: Well your reviewing now and that's what counts.
Makia Durron: Blushing now from that praise glad you liked.
Gozilla: I am sorry but it took me ages to write this and it is bad so I am sorry.
Twilight Unicorn: That's scary. But great minds think alike as my friend Shell likes to say.
melwa elena: Thanks. Does your name mean something by the way?
Jutter : Ahhh but Legolas would never just give something up.
Thanks and please review.
Love
Meisalliam
