Casting Shadows at Noon

Chapter 8: Stained Glass Prism

Severus came into the Headmaster's office, shrugging off the cloak that hung about him, shrugging off the rain and the depressing air of gloom that he had carried about him all that day. "Nice evening, isn't it, Albus?" The headmaster jumped, turned, and smiled vaguely at him, with all the symptoms of having spent the day sitting wrapped up in a book and avoiding things he should have been doing.

"Ah, Severus, you're back. How was the meeting?" "Guess." The older man tried to smile and shrug it off, but he could not help seeing the exhaustion in the Potion Master's face. "Severus, you should get more rest. You look ill." The neutral expression on Snape's face disappeared, his brows drew together. "Good." he bit. "The Dark Lord likes to believe that his servants work their hardest for him." "Severus, you owe it to yourself to remain healthy." The younger man swore and turned away, stared out the window. "I owe it to you, you mean. We both know how much I care about it all. But I've got to watch out for your interests, don't I? What was it they made me say? 'I solemnly swear to live and fight for the force of good so long as Albus Dumbledore lives to guide me on the path of wisdom'. I should think," He continued in an aggrieved voice, turning back to look at him, lip curled in the classic Snape sneer, "that it would be easier for you to just give up on me. I can't possibly be of any real use to you."

"I wanted to help you because you seemed so earnest when you came to me, so eager to do good. But then , after we made the arrangement, you..." "I stopped caring." "Yes. Why?" Dumbledore glanced sharply at Severus. He had sensed the man's talkative mood the instant he walked into the room, and he hoped that Severus would finally tell him what it was that had effected this change. Outside, Filch was chasing a small girl, who had chosen to run rather than face the consequences of her actions. It would have been the work of an instant for Filch to bring the girl back, many of the castle's magical properties being available to Squibs as well, but the man enjoyed a good chase scene occasionally. Severus turned his focused gaze from the window back to Dumbledore, who flinched outright at the look in his eyes.

"Because, my dear headmaster, I would have done it anyway. A forced defection is useless, but I think that you will find even I am willing to act on my beliefs. Imagine that," He continued, sarcasm creeping into his voice. "I actually have a good side."

Dumbledore remembered

Severus throwing darts with deadly accuracy, spelling each one to hit the target the instant that Malfoy's back is turned, grim satisfaction in every line on his face.

Severus spending three hours up to his knees in the lake, trying to convince a wounded bird that he was friendly.

Severus in class, gazing wide eyed into a stained glass prism, oblivious to the fact that he was supposed to divine his future from it, focused entirely upon the glimmer of light held in its colored depths.

Severus, a teacher now, interrupting his quest for insults to use against the Gryffindors to gaze again into that same prism.

Severus looking at him now, with the same prism's light reflected on his sallow skin.

"I never doubted that", the Headmaster murmured gently. "I never doubted you."

It was true, but he doubted Severus would realize it. The professor left the room quietly, without fuss, without anything worth making a fuss over, Went back, alone to his lightness room, where there was no prism of faith or hope to throw colored shadows on his walls.