Disclaimer: I do not own Yu- Gi- Oh, or Solomon Moto. I do, however, own
his secret identity of REALLY OLD MAN!
SIDE NOTE: Well, I haven't updated this little baby in a while, so I thought I should. Really Old Man could be a comic book character, couldn't he?
Our hero had just won the bingo competition as was walking away proudly with his shuffleboard set. Now he could focus on getting to the Battle City finals! At least... that's what he SHOULD have been doing. Oh, if only he hadn't spied that old chick walking around in tights. It wasn't pretty...
"Whoa! Hot mama!" Ooookaaayyy, yes, heroes have flaws... in this case, our hero has BAD taste in women. I mean, honestly, even I, the female narrator can tell a pretty woman from an ugly one! And MY GOSH this woman was ugly! She's SO ugly, I don't even want to DESCRIBE this horrible- looking creature! Ugh, I think I'm going to hurl...! Uh... back to our hero (who is in desperate need of glasses). He waltzed over to the, uh, lovely old lady. "Hey there, toots!"
"Oh, my!" the old woman looked surprised (I mean, honestly, she probably doesn't get ANY guys walking over to her OR calling her a hot mama, except for our BLIND hero over here). "What a handsome man you are! I like you..."
"What do you say to some lunch and a game of shuffleboard?" our hero proudly showed her his new shuffleboard set. "I won it in a bingo tournament."
"Ooh, smart AND good- looking! I would be glad to go to lunch with you!"
So, he took the old lady to lunch. But, little did our hero know that this horrendous- looking beast was actually Really Old Woman, the most evil old lady in the world! So, even as she sat in front of our hero, looking immensely grotesque, he still could not realize that she was plotting, scheming ever- so- evilly to... take his shuffleboard set?! Oh, come ON! What kind of story am I narrating here?! What kind of really evil villain, with a GENIUS criminal mind and a DISGUSTING profile wants to steal a lousy shuffleboard set?! Oi...
ANYWAY, since I'm paid good money to narrate this, our hero just ate lunch without knowing that the evil old lady was going to steal his shuffleboard set. After lunch, however, he realized her plan!
"Okay, sugar, let's play shuffleboard!" Maybe not... well, she'll make her plans known soon enough.
"Of course! Just take it out and we'll start!" So, Really Old Man prepared to take out his shuffleboard set, COMPLETELY aware of her plan!
"Okay!" our hero just took out the shuffleboard set and handed it to her. Wait, WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF MORON IS OUR HERO, ANYWAY?!
Really Old Woman laughed evilly. "Bwahaha! Thank you, kind man! Now I will run off with your shuffleboard set! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
Our hero gasped. "What?"
"You fool! I've been tricking you all along! My plan was ALWAYS to steal your shuffleboard set! BWAHAHA!"
Our hero gasped again. "Oh no! You're evil AND gorgeous! I knew it was too good to be true!" I think our hero was high on something when he said that. There's no way that UGLY THING could have been GORGEOUS.
"Alright, narrator, I've heard enough out of you! You should learn to respect your elders!"
Well, I don't like you! Your horrendousness is making my eyes bleed!
"I'm not ugly! Come on, tell her, darling, I'm not ugly am I?"
"There's nothing uglier than evil! But you aren't THAT ugly!"
Are you kidding?! SHE IS THAT UGLY!
"I am not!"
Okay, you shouldn't be arguing with the narrator anyway! You're totally ruining the story, and you're screwing up all my narration! GET BACK TO THE STORY!
Ahem. ANYWAY, our hero comes up with a plan.
"I do?"
Yes, you do! Read the script and stop talking to me, you idiot!
Our hero reads the script, and THEN he comes up with a plan. "Alright, Really Old Woman! I, Really Old Man will play one game of shuffleboard with you! If I win, I take back my shuffleboard set, and you'll go to jail for being evil!"
"Fine. If I win, I not only get your shuffleboard set, but I also get to beat up the narrator!"
TRY IT, Sasquatch! I can beat YOU up with my hands tied behind my back!
"You're on!"
AHEM! OUR HERO AND THE EVIL VILLAIN BEGIN TO PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD!
"Oh, right..."
Anyway, now they're playing shuffleboard. Since the author of this story has no idea how shuffleboard is played, or even what in blazes it is, I will skip the long and exciting old person's game and tell you what you all expected to hear: our hero defeated the evil villain.
"WHAT?!"
Good always triumphs over evil in a comic book! This is BASED on comic books! You're such an idiot!
"No matter!" Really Old Woman laughs evilly. "I will STILL run off with the shuffleboard set! After all, I am evil!"
"Stop her, narrator!"
Huh? I, the narrator am now looking at our hero like he is insane. I'm the freaking narrator! I don't chase after evil villains! Narrators do not have physical forms! All they do is talk! And tell people what's going on! That's it!
"But I'm too scared..."
Oi. Our hero is such a wimp. Well, I still have no physical form, so our hero will just have to save the day by himself. After all he DID save the town from a dangerous student driver AND he won a bingo competition.
Our hero smiles. "Well, that's true. Really Old Man, AWAY! Ow, my back..."
Our hero chases after the evil villain (not before calling the cops, of course). He soon catches up with her and he has her cornered!
"It's over, Really Old Woman! You lose!"
"What? But I thought you were too scared to chase me!"
"I was, but then the narrator called me a wimp."
"Against everyone now, aren't you?"
The narrator has no comment.
Really Old Man shrugged. "Anyway, the cops are here, so you should be arrested, now."
"Fine. I have nothing better to do, anyway," Really Old Woman lets the cops arrest her. Sheesh. Some ending. No heroism?
"Nope. You ruined it for everyone when you said good always triumphs over evil."
Oh, thanks, blame ME. Well, another good deed is done. Find out what happens in the next chapter of... Really Old Man, AWAY! Ow, my back...
SIDE NOTE: Heheheheh... guess I got kind of obsessed with the narrator being included in here. I was entertained, though, with the characters arguing with the narrator and all. Well, hope you liked it! Please review!
SIDE NOTE: Well, I haven't updated this little baby in a while, so I thought I should. Really Old Man could be a comic book character, couldn't he?
Our hero had just won the bingo competition as was walking away proudly with his shuffleboard set. Now he could focus on getting to the Battle City finals! At least... that's what he SHOULD have been doing. Oh, if only he hadn't spied that old chick walking around in tights. It wasn't pretty...
"Whoa! Hot mama!" Ooookaaayyy, yes, heroes have flaws... in this case, our hero has BAD taste in women. I mean, honestly, even I, the female narrator can tell a pretty woman from an ugly one! And MY GOSH this woman was ugly! She's SO ugly, I don't even want to DESCRIBE this horrible- looking creature! Ugh, I think I'm going to hurl...! Uh... back to our hero (who is in desperate need of glasses). He waltzed over to the, uh, lovely old lady. "Hey there, toots!"
"Oh, my!" the old woman looked surprised (I mean, honestly, she probably doesn't get ANY guys walking over to her OR calling her a hot mama, except for our BLIND hero over here). "What a handsome man you are! I like you..."
"What do you say to some lunch and a game of shuffleboard?" our hero proudly showed her his new shuffleboard set. "I won it in a bingo tournament."
"Ooh, smart AND good- looking! I would be glad to go to lunch with you!"
So, he took the old lady to lunch. But, little did our hero know that this horrendous- looking beast was actually Really Old Woman, the most evil old lady in the world! So, even as she sat in front of our hero, looking immensely grotesque, he still could not realize that she was plotting, scheming ever- so- evilly to... take his shuffleboard set?! Oh, come ON! What kind of story am I narrating here?! What kind of really evil villain, with a GENIUS criminal mind and a DISGUSTING profile wants to steal a lousy shuffleboard set?! Oi...
ANYWAY, since I'm paid good money to narrate this, our hero just ate lunch without knowing that the evil old lady was going to steal his shuffleboard set. After lunch, however, he realized her plan!
"Okay, sugar, let's play shuffleboard!" Maybe not... well, she'll make her plans known soon enough.
"Of course! Just take it out and we'll start!" So, Really Old Man prepared to take out his shuffleboard set, COMPLETELY aware of her plan!
"Okay!" our hero just took out the shuffleboard set and handed it to her. Wait, WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF MORON IS OUR HERO, ANYWAY?!
Really Old Woman laughed evilly. "Bwahaha! Thank you, kind man! Now I will run off with your shuffleboard set! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!"
Our hero gasped. "What?"
"You fool! I've been tricking you all along! My plan was ALWAYS to steal your shuffleboard set! BWAHAHA!"
Our hero gasped again. "Oh no! You're evil AND gorgeous! I knew it was too good to be true!" I think our hero was high on something when he said that. There's no way that UGLY THING could have been GORGEOUS.
"Alright, narrator, I've heard enough out of you! You should learn to respect your elders!"
Well, I don't like you! Your horrendousness is making my eyes bleed!
"I'm not ugly! Come on, tell her, darling, I'm not ugly am I?"
"There's nothing uglier than evil! But you aren't THAT ugly!"
Are you kidding?! SHE IS THAT UGLY!
"I am not!"
Okay, you shouldn't be arguing with the narrator anyway! You're totally ruining the story, and you're screwing up all my narration! GET BACK TO THE STORY!
Ahem. ANYWAY, our hero comes up with a plan.
"I do?"
Yes, you do! Read the script and stop talking to me, you idiot!
Our hero reads the script, and THEN he comes up with a plan. "Alright, Really Old Woman! I, Really Old Man will play one game of shuffleboard with you! If I win, I take back my shuffleboard set, and you'll go to jail for being evil!"
"Fine. If I win, I not only get your shuffleboard set, but I also get to beat up the narrator!"
TRY IT, Sasquatch! I can beat YOU up with my hands tied behind my back!
"You're on!"
AHEM! OUR HERO AND THE EVIL VILLAIN BEGIN TO PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD!
"Oh, right..."
Anyway, now they're playing shuffleboard. Since the author of this story has no idea how shuffleboard is played, or even what in blazes it is, I will skip the long and exciting old person's game and tell you what you all expected to hear: our hero defeated the evil villain.
"WHAT?!"
Good always triumphs over evil in a comic book! This is BASED on comic books! You're such an idiot!
"No matter!" Really Old Woman laughs evilly. "I will STILL run off with the shuffleboard set! After all, I am evil!"
"Stop her, narrator!"
Huh? I, the narrator am now looking at our hero like he is insane. I'm the freaking narrator! I don't chase after evil villains! Narrators do not have physical forms! All they do is talk! And tell people what's going on! That's it!
"But I'm too scared..."
Oi. Our hero is such a wimp. Well, I still have no physical form, so our hero will just have to save the day by himself. After all he DID save the town from a dangerous student driver AND he won a bingo competition.
Our hero smiles. "Well, that's true. Really Old Man, AWAY! Ow, my back..."
Our hero chases after the evil villain (not before calling the cops, of course). He soon catches up with her and he has her cornered!
"It's over, Really Old Woman! You lose!"
"What? But I thought you were too scared to chase me!"
"I was, but then the narrator called me a wimp."
"Against everyone now, aren't you?"
The narrator has no comment.
Really Old Man shrugged. "Anyway, the cops are here, so you should be arrested, now."
"Fine. I have nothing better to do, anyway," Really Old Woman lets the cops arrest her. Sheesh. Some ending. No heroism?
"Nope. You ruined it for everyone when you said good always triumphs over evil."
Oh, thanks, blame ME. Well, another good deed is done. Find out what happens in the next chapter of... Really Old Man, AWAY! Ow, my back...
SIDE NOTE: Heheheheh... guess I got kind of obsessed with the narrator being included in here. I was entertained, though, with the characters arguing with the narrator and all. Well, hope you liked it! Please review!
