Disclaimer: I don't own Status Afflictions, Yuffie, Vincent, or the rest of AVALANCHE. Or any of the places they visit.

A/N: I've always wondered what would happen if a character OD'd on Hypers or Tranquilisers. This curiosity was intensified the first time I found a Hyper behind Don Corneo's bed. So, without further ado… =}

Hell Hath No Fury Like a Yuffie, High

Yuffie sighed heavily, the light gone from her eyes. Though the grey orbs usually held something of the energy of a thunderstorm whether ecstatic or enraged, today they were cast of miserable steel, like clouds on days of never-ending rain.

In comparison, her companion's eyes could be likened to scarlet flames, filled as they were with deadly and relentless fury. He seemed to smoulder, the heat of his anger rippling out from him like waves. Yuffie slowly handed him a Hi-Potion and sighed again.

"I hate Sadness." She said miserably as Vincent grumpily threw the Hi-Potion down his throat. He made a vague response in the form of a 'Hn.' and started to look for some Hypers. They would get nowhere if she was too depressed to cause heavy damage, and he was too pissed off to aim properly. He glanced at Yuffie, and through the haze of Fury, noticed that she seemed abnormally upset, even accounting for the status affliction. With this in mind, he picked out two Hypers and used both on her.

He would later plead insanity for that particular action.

The change was instantaneous. A smile broke over her face like the sun breaking through a thunderstorm, and she turned to him, the wind somehow contriving to lift her hair dramatically, strands of chocolate across her olive skin. Vincent felt something jump sideways in his chest, and looked away, scowling.

Not wise, Valentine. Not wise at all.

He tried to pay no heed to the young woman as she jabbered cheerfully away to herself, her slim fingers picking out a few Tranquilisers. "…much-worse-than-usual-so-I'll-use-another-one-just-in-case-okay-Vinnie?"

And those were the last words he actually heard for quite some time. There was a stinging pain in his arm and he turned his head sharply to glare at Yuffie.

Annoyance seeped away. Anger, guilt, tiredness – all gone. Vincent cocked his head to the side, and smiled as the world tilted crazily in the opposite direction. He could hear a high-pitched buzzing nearby. He looked around dazedly. "Whut?"

Yuffie had been pleasantly surprised to see the smile appear without preamble on his face, and said so in a sentence roughly three hundred words long, without breathing. Now she jumped to her feet, feeling light and cheerful.

"So like Vinnie let's go already, we have to go find Cloud and the others and go pick up all that stuff from Rocket Town in the rocket with the pretty materia that I love; I so wanna get some Huge Materia, I mean I totally get why Scarlet wants it, only she can't have it all cuz we want it all, huh Vinnie?"

"…whut?"

*

Several hours later, they were getting closer to Rocket Town. Yuffie sang snatches of annoying songs. Sometimes the verses penetrated Vincent's tranquil haze and made the voices in his head argue viciously over who got to kill the ninja. Between songs, Yuffie pointed out things that interested her along the way, such as rocks, dirt, birdies, bees and blades of grass.

"Wow Vinnie this grass is so totally long it comes up to my waist, hey, how much do you think there is, you think I could count how much there was, hey Vinnie wouldn't it be totally cool if we had this many Gil or this many materia, cuz I really really like materia a lot and I don't have much right now but you have pretty materia Vinnie hey how come I don't get to use Hades or anything, Vinnie, huh?"

Even in his normal state, Vincent could not have followed this sentence to its dubious conclusion in order to answer the question. Now he was in no state to even speak, or to notice her words. He barely took notice of her, except when she was singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" – Yuffie had a tendency to start at 999 999 bottles of beer, and anything that was repeated for this length of time eventually penetrated Vincent's Tranquilised mind. However right now, he was paying too much attention to the strangely swirling forest around them.

"Whut?"

"LooklooklooklookberriesVinnieberries! I love berries I'm gonna pick 'em all and eat 'em all and leave none for Cloud or stupid Red he's so much smarter than I am even though he says he's just a teenager too I really hope these berries aren't poisonous but I'm sure they're not cuz they're white and sparkly just like the white materia and I bet they're good for you just like the white materia!"

Yuffie ran to said berry push and started pulling off handfuls of the small, white, and absolutely poisonous berries. Vincent trailed after her and stood watching for a while.

"Whut?"

*

"Cid… do you hear that?" Tifa asked, not daring to move from her seat until she had finished her tea. From outside, there came a long, eerie sound, like that of a train's whistle.

"What the…?" Cid wondered aloud, and walked over to the front door. As he approached it, the 'wooooooooooooo' became a 'nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer' similar to that of a child imitating a jet's flight. Cid eyed the door nervously.

He had just set a hand on the handle when it was flung open by Yuffie who was jumping up and down and dragging a lazily grinning Vincent behind her. While the former was a fairly normal sight, even with the Nerosuferoth tied to her head, the latter was something that made Cid back away very quickly with his hands raised in a non-threatening manner.

"Hi Cid hi Tifa hi Barret hi Cloud hi Red hi Shera hi Cait guess what Vinnie and I are finally here and I am the Queen of the Rocket Plains and All Nerosuferoths and the Overlord of Grass and All Berry Matter!"

Vincent stared absently around the room and hummed softly to himself.

AVALANCHE stared. They weren't quite sure what to make of this. Cloud beckoned Cid away, just in case either of the clearly insane duo before them went nutso and decided to attack.

"Yuffie… what happened?" Cloud asked, once Cid was at a safe distance.

"Well ya see Vinnie gave me some nice Hypers because I was sad and then I wasn't sad any more and I was happy and then I gave Vinnie some Tranquilisers and he wasn't mad any more and I found the magic twinkle berries and they were really yummy!"

She took a cheerful step forward, and AVALANCHE, acting on some unknown common impulse, ran for it. Yuffie started running after them, dragging Vincent with her, but Shera locked the door behind her. They heard a click from the front of the house as someone locked that, too. The happy expression on Yuffie's face faltered a little bit.

"Vinnie, I don't feel so good."

She then ran to the bathroom and threw up.

*

A few hours later, Cid silently unlocked his front door. Glancing back at Shera, he opened it and tiptoed inside. He couldn't hear anything loud and obnoxious. He hated to think maybe Yuffie had escaped and been let loose on his poor Rocket Town. With a grimace at the thought, he gestured the rest of the group inside.

"Keep it quiet. I dunno where the @#$% they are, but…" The ominous trail-off spoke for itself.

They stood nervously in the kitchen for a few moments before Shera started off down the corridor. "They can't be far away. The back door is still locked… and I can't see any broken windows…"

Seeing a door ajar, she ventured to push it all the way open. It was the room she and Cid shared, and she almost dreaded what she might see. But as soon as she opened the door, she tilted her head to one side and could not repress an, "Aww…"

"What is it?" Tifa asked. She walked quickly down the hall to peer around Shera, and a small smile immediately lit on her face. "That's… the cutest thing I've ever seen."

The Nerosuferoth must've escaped, but Vincent and Yuffie were curled up together on one of the beds. Vincent's head was flung back on the pillows, mouth slightly ajar. Yuffie's head rested in his lap, one of her arms hanging off the bed to graze the floor with her wrist. Both were snoring lightly. Cait Sith chuckled.

"Hey, let's wake 'em up and watch 'em squirm!" He declared evilly. Tifa grabbed the cat robot by the scruff of his neck.

"We will do no such thing." She said firmly. However, a grin soon stole over her face. "Let's take a photograph. Then let's wake them up and watch them squirm!"

~*~

A/N: Not exactly the most well-written or exciting chapter, but I'm sort of using this fic to stave off Writer's Block. ^^ It's just a one-in-a-million kinda thing that people actually like it… anyway, the next chapter is on… uh, Silence, I think. Or else that's coming soon. It might be Mini. *can't remember and is too lazy to go get her notes* Eh. Please review and let me know what you think!