Disclaimer: Blah, blah, blah, these are all Joanne K. Rowling's, etc., etc. You'd think everyone would know this by now, wouldn't you?

Authoress' Notes: This is quite a pointless fan-fic. I got the idea after reading Thing 1's comedy about Severus but I thought that it was about time Sirius got tortured in a fan-fiction. Hope you enjoy it.

A Siriusly Embarrassing Story

Chapter 1

Sirius walked into his dormitory room and collapsed on is bed, exhausted by that day. He couldn't believe his third year at Hogwarts. He fell asleep almost immediately, deaf to the pleas of his friends asking him about it.

He woke the next day (a Saturday) and lay back in bed, seeing that it was only 8. He tried to remember why he felt so bad, then, when he did, he tried to push it out of his head, but it was impossible. He gave an involuntary shudder when he thought of the whole year. Just then, his friend, Derek Gobson came in and told him that all the Divination classes of the rest of the few weeks had been cancelled.

Sirius just nodded his understanding.

*

He turned to look at the time and groaned. He had fallen back asleep, and now, it was 3p.m. He wondered how he could've slept for so long, and then decided that he couldn't be bothered to work it out. Everyone, he knew, would be outside in the sun, so he decided to take this opportunity to have a long bath and try to forget about it all, but he knew that that would be impossible.

'Might as well try it,' he thought sleepily. 'Maybe I'll drown myself in it.'

He took the red fluffy towel his mother had given him for Christmas, and shuddered at some unpleasant memories connected to it.

He went to the shower and turned the taps on.

He remembered what had happened to him last week, in almost the same circumstances, and shuddered.

He knew he won't be able to run from it forever, so, bracing himself, he decided to go for it.

He put the towel and the clothes he was going to change into outside the cubicle (there was a long row of cubicles, each containing a bath, a shower, a sink and a little cupboard with stuff like soap in, but you had to leave the clothes and towel outside so that it wouldn't get wet).

He took all of his clothes of slowly, feeling his whole body cool. Locking the door of his cubicle, he sat down and his mind drifted back to the beginning of his troubles.

He saw the nastier, stronger group of Slytherins walk towards him. A block of ice fell into his stomach. He had been bullying that slug, Snape, again and he knew that this group had come to settle the score. He braced himself for whatever was to come, but it never did. They just walked past without noticing him.

Shrugging, he walked behind them. Gryffindors and Slytherins had Divination next. He heard someone running behind him. It was Snape. He prepared himself once again, but Snape ran past him to Corrie Nayson.

He saw his friends, and walked upto them. Sitting down, he glances cautiously at Snape but Severus just smiled and waved. This was enough.

'What's going on?' he wondered, but before he could tell his friends, Professor Trelawney came in.

He shuddered in spite of himself. Checking the water was warm enough, he turned off the taps. Going to the cupboard, he took out a bottle of purple bubble bath, which smelt like bluebells.

After making sure that it was bubbling, he got into it.

*

Most of the lesson had gone, before the Slytherins attacked. It was done so subtly that Sirius hadn't noticed anything until that group brought it to the attention of Professor Trelawney.

Mark Casderley had put up his hand, which should have been a warning but he hadn't noticed.

"Professor Trelawney, Professor Trelawney. Look. Sirius Black has had an accident."

He had looked up, startled. What was that goon, Casderley, talking about? A murmur of sniggers started to spread around the room, but no one on his table had had a clue what it was about.

"Mr. Black, could you not have waited?" had come the snap from Professor Trelawney, in much contrast to her usual misty voice. "And if you couldn't, couldn't you have asked me to excuse you for a few minutes?"

"Why did you wet yourself?" had come an astonished exclamation from Severus Snape.

Horror had filtered through his body and a blush had crept into his cheeks before he had even looked down. There was a wet patch down his clothes, as if he had wet himself, but he hadn't. Eyes with an angry spark in them looked across to Mark Casderley's table and the sight made him sure that they were behind it.

Mark Casderley was looking innocent, Severus Snape was looking astonished, Corrie was laughing so hard she was almost falling out of her chair, Suzannah Blazeley was sniggering into her handkerchief, Thomas Malfoy was grinning from ear to ear, Miho Pang hugging her identical tin sister, Yuki, while laughing hysterically, Argus Filch was grinning and Patrick Peterson was grinning at his sister, Patricia, on a table with her Hufflepuff friends.

He didn't doubt that Snape was in on it. His gang was always retaliating after they had done something to Snape so he must be in on it. At that time, there had been nothing to do but go to his dorm. room, but he had vowed for revenge.

He was in the bath, now. The hot water started to loosen his shoulder muscles, which had tensed up after that memory. If only he hadn't. If only he had known what would have happened if he had. But no. He had to go and get revenge, didn't he?

That incident had only been the start.