In Absentia
By Lt. Cate Pike
(aka Stargazer83)
Follow up to Nuclear Universe
He looks around his
house like it's the first time he's been there. And really it's the
first time he's been here like this in a while. Alone. Without
his... without his team. He can't just quite bring himself to give
them the proper name. Because he's had that before. And it didn't
last. But this different, too. So there should be a new word for
it.
Maybe team is the perfect word.
But right now the
world won't let them the team they are. There's something going on.
Somebody is looking into them. It's probably nothing. And it sure as
hell has nothing to do with what they are doing off-duty. But in this
world where people can't comprehend anything that goes beyond two
halves equaling one, they cannot take any chances. So each of them
went back to their long abandoned places.
As he wanders from room
to room, he wonders if there is anything left at their old places.
Maybe the clutter should annoy him. But it hasn't bothered him until
now - he didn't even realize it was there - so why start now?
They
left their mark on his house like they left their mark on him. But
while their things are still here, the house feels
unnaturally
cold.
For once he can't bear the silence. He likes the quiet. But
he also likes choices. And today he didn't choose quiet.
His hand
wanders to the buttons on the stereo on their own accord. The soft
sound of a female blues singer fill the house. Cait. McGee gave her
the CD last week. No special occasion.
He sits down on the couch
and lets the notes wrap him in a cocoon for a while. He can hear the
easy laughter that echoed through the house that night and brought
him out from the basement. They have a way of doing that.
He opens
his eyes. The coffee table is cluttered with magazines and books.
Some of them are Tim's, but most of them belong to Tony. Who knew
that the men reads that much? He and Tim got into more than one mock
fight over something they both read. Which usually is just the
prelude to something else. But he pushes that thought aside for the
moment. It's still early. And it would only make him feel more
alone.
He stacks the magazines into neat piles and then moves to
pick up the trail of random things his three lovers have left around
the house. Then he looks at what he has in hands (a sweater, more
books, some DVDs and just general clutter) and decides he doesn't
want his house neat and tidy. He wants to know that they'll be back.
So he carefully puts their things on a table on the sides.
He
stands there for a moment, contemplating what to do. Turn on the TV
and watch one of those shows the three of them keep insisting he
watch. He hates them. Well not really. But he'd never tell them
that. He needs to keep some last remains of his façade up –
even if they see right through it. So TV or the boat?
The boat it
is. He hasn't worked on it in a while. And a little but of good old
fashioned manual labor and the familiar feel of the well loved tools
is just what the doctor ordered for tonight.
He takes a deep
breath, inhaling the comfortable aroma of sawdust. Carefully he
starts sanding down one of the planks. It brings back memories of
many nights he spent down here, feeling alone and lost, trying to
make sense of the world and expelling his demons by repetitive
movements. And it also brings forth more recent memories. Still some
are of unconquered demons. But then there are others. When he came
down here just because he enjoyed the work. And some of Tim, Cait or
Tony helping him with some part or other when then they had to work
through some issues of their own and weren't ready to talk yet. Or
them just coming down here to watch him, to just be with him and
chasing away the blue clouds.
He hasn't felt alone since they
started this.
He glances at the clock on the wall and is surprised
to see that it's the middle of the night already.
The bedroom
feels cold and empty at first. But then he notices the little things.
The items left lying around. Their smell clinging to everything.
They
might not be here right now. But they aren't gone.
So he gets
comfortable in the middle of the large bed, draws the sheets that
smell like all of them closer and falls asleep with a tiny smile on
his lips.
The End
