Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any names, places, or things from the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling. Because I don't.


Did You Find What You Were Looking For

Chapter 12: Submerged

By: Taiyourshoes


Lily Evans retraced her steps in the maze over and over again in her mind. What reality could she have lived through if she'd only passed that mirror, been lost in the labyrinth until the end of her days? She certainly would have been worse off... But she wouldn't have to feel alone, even around people, as she did now.

Tabitha Hawkins and Hailey Cavendish came to visit Lily early the next morning, filling her in on the classes she'd missed (as Lily had been unconscious from Saturday through Monday night—Who knew Lily Evans was such a swooner?) and the homework she'd have to do. After telling her that even after falling twenty or so feet from a broom, she still looked stunning they left for breakfast in the Great Hall. Lily was surprised that she was happy to see them go.

Later that day, Trista Cunningham came in to apologize for hitting her with a bludger, and was quite relieved when Lily waved it off as an accident, possibly because Lily had nearly run Trista off her broom or because Trista had sent such a lovely box of Chocolate Frogs with her Get Well Soon card. After a few minutes of awkward conversation, in which Lily learned quite a bit about the sporty Ravenclaw, Trista was shooed from the hopital by Madame Pomfrey, insisting Lily needed to take some sort of potion. Again, Lily was happy to be alone with her own thoughts.

Near dinner, Lily was quite surprised (and perhaps put out after her past night's dream) to see Abigail O'Brien by her bedside.

"Oh, Lily, you're awake! The prefects have been so worried that you'd died or something, and I've been coming everyday to make sure that wasn't true!" Abigail said quickly, playing with a handkerchief as she did this. "James Potter seemed especially worried at first, to tell you the truth. When you fell he was the first player on the ground, and he was the one that brought you in."

Lily plastered a polite smile on her face, not wanting to hear about James Potter very much longer, especially from her dear friend Abigail O'Brien.

"Funny thing though, he seemed pretty happy after he'd dropped you off. It was almost unnatural," Abigail admitted, making up her face.

"I'm sure he's just left a witty card asking me to wake up so we can plan our wedding or something childish," Lily rolled her eyes.

Abigail chuckled. "I don't doubt that." Smiling, Abigail straightened out her handkerchief (which she'd been holding like her baby) and made to fold it when Lily caught the eye of the initials sewed onto the side.

"C.R.?" Lily asked in disbelief, getting up for a closer look. A pain seared down her back but she ignored it—she'd been feeling pain worse than that of the physical since last night. "Like Connor Rosier, C.R.?!"

After making so many potions with the boy, Lily knew his initials very well. She just hadn't gotten to know his taste in women, apparently.

Abigail suddenly broke into a large smile. "Err, yeah. Remember when he called me a 'little Ravenclaw' on the Hogwarts Express? Well... I might have tackled him the next day and... I suppose we hit it off."

"By beating him?" Lily raised an eyebrow, truly dumbfounded.

Abigail let out an awkward giggle. "When you put it that way it sounds terribly stupid."

Lily crinkled her nose, thinking. "Sorry then. It's just hard to believe that Slytherins would ever..." Noticing the look on Abigail's face go sour, Lily tried to turn her words in a better direction. "I just mean—well, it doesn't matter. Connor is very nice and you two will be very, err, happy with one another. I just don't get how it happened, is all."

"Oh," Abigail said shortly, looking up at the ceiling in thought. "Well after I tackled him, he asked why I'd do that so out of the blue." She grinned. "He forgot he'd said anything mean at all. Apparently, being a complete bastard is just a reflex of his. Connor said he'd never met a girl so willing to stand up for herself before, and was just impressed, I guess. After that he made an effort to see me and the rest is just pointless to anyone but me." Abigail sighed deeply, clutching the handkerchief closer to her person.

"It's great that you've found someone good for you, Abigail. I'm really glad," Lily informed honestly.

"I'm sure," Abigail beamed. " I'll tell the prefects you're better." With that, the small girl walked out of the hospital wing as if on a cloud, stuffing the handkerchief into her pocket as she went. Lily could almost swear she could hear her humming show tunes down the hallway.

Silently, Lily wondered if she'd ever start breaking out into song over a boy. Moreover, she wondered if that boy would be James Potter.

Sighing, Lily laid her head back down and prepared for another nap before she would have to return to the real world.


James Potter was happy. No, happy wasn't even the word for what he was feeling. James Potter was SO happy, Sirius Black had made repeated attempts to feel his forehead, "Just to make sure you're all right!"

Lily had said his name; not just his surname, but his wonderful, marvelous, one syllable first name! Given, she'd probably been plotting his murder for letting her fall whilst she dreamed, but who says she'd remember that upon waking? The point was, Lily Evans had been asleep ("knocked out, Prongs, there's a difference") and had said one thing the entire three days she was in her catatonic state. "James."

She'd been DREAMING about him.

Oh yes, James Potter was happy, giddy, joyous, euphoric... And now, he'd gotten wind that she was awake.

She hadn't died and for the first time in James's presence, his name had crossed her lips.

Her very nice lips, James might add.

"So how do you plan on winning her over, now that she knows how to say your first name and everything?" Sirius asked.

Suddenly, the band stopped playing, the sky went overcast, and the distant sound of thunder erupted through the air.

James had been so busy doing his happy dance, he'd forgotten to plan a clever thing to do when Lily woke up. There were no roses planned, no singing elves, no anniversary bludgers...

In short, he was doomed.

If he tried to talk to her, she might tell him to sod off, tell him to do the world a favor and drown. Or worse: call him by his last name again. Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter, Potter...

How could he handle it if Lily Evans just ripped the shiny bit of hope from him, just as he'd seen the shimmer of it?

She still needed persuasion. He'd have to owl a jeweler.

"Lily might call you 'sugar muffin'," Remus shrugged, setting up his exploding snap cards.

"Or 'prat'. You know, tradition and all," Sirius reminded, unconcerned.

James gave a frustrated sigh. "But what if she doesn't call me pet names? What if she calls me Potter and I can never get to use HER first name? I've practiced it and everything!" he whined, slamming his fist onto the table.

Sirius blinked at him. "Her name is two syllables long; did you have to practice a lot, Prongs?"

"It's HOW you say it, PADFOOT," James glowered. "She might think I'm being too pricky or too uninterested if I say it the wrong way."

"So long as you don't call her Frank, I'm sure you can talk to her."

"Thanks, Moony."


Lily walked down to the Great Hall after a short nap, while stretching out her sore muscles until she felt the pain intensify, then release.

She'd only just had time to hurry to Gryffindor tower to change when Amelia Cavendish ran up to her, informing her that she still had detention with McGonagall that night.

"Lovely. Thank you, Miss Cavendish," Lily said, eyes narrowing.

So Lily would have to spend yet another two nights in James Potter's presence before she could OFFICIALLY avoid him like the plague.

Drat.

When Lily reached the Great Hall, she glanced up and down Gryffindor table for sign of the Head Boy. Sure enough, James sat somewhere in the middle of a crowd, digging his way through a dinner roll and mashed potatoes. After a minute, Lily realized she was staring and decided to invest her time in more worthy matters, such as getting a life.

Sighing, Lily found a seat toward the end of the table, quite close to Nearly Headless Nick. Lily made sure not to touch the ghost, as that never made for a pleasant feeling. She'd barely sat down, however, when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Fearing the worst (namely James), Lily cautiously turned to face the person behind her.

Connor Rosier stood before her, eyebrows raised and a tint of color on his typically pale face. A few Gryffindors had halted their conversations and were quietly whispering to each other while casting uncertain glances at him and Lily.

"So the rumors are true: you ARE alive," he commented evenly, casting a weary glance towards his House table, then to the rest of the staring school. It seemed to have gotten significantly quieter (and much more gossipy) since he walked up to Lily. This, Lily assumed, was simply a side effect of the traditional Slytherin-Gryffindor house rivalry.

Why would anyone from one house CHOOSE to associate with someone from the other?

"Barely," Lily smiled. She was surprised to find that she was actually HAPPY to see someone for the first time all day, partially because he was someone who didn't pretend to know her but did anyway, and partially because she wanted to pry into his love life.

Okay, it was just because she wanted to pry into his love life.

If Connor really did have genuine feelings for anyone (and who was Lily to doubt that those feelings were for Abigail?) it was certainly a noticeable change. He gave all signs of a man smittened, what with his constant smile, the color on his cheeks, and the glimmer in his typically dull eyes.

"I didn't send you a Get Well Card, but I did want you well," he assured, feigning casualty. Lily was noticing more and more heads turn to the two of them. Why did everyone care so much?

"Speaking of getting well..." Lily led in, "I heard Abigail O'Brien managed to pin you to the floor. Bruises gone?"

Connor definitely blushed that time. "I didn't have bruises," he muttered defensively before a smile flitted across his face. "But the girl CAN hit hard."

Lily laughed. Connor didn't seem like the same hoity toity, snotty boy he usually was when in public. Instead, there was something... softer about him

Obviously, his mind was elsewhere.

"Thanks for the well wishes, Rosier. See you," Lily waved, suddenly a bit sadder than before. The students in the Great Hall went back to their own conversations as Rosier returned to his respective table full of glaring Slytherins. No doubt, rumors regarding the Head Girl and Slytherin Prefect would soon be in circulation.

Fleetingly, Lily wondered why Connor would risk his reputation just for a bit of small talk. Did it have anything to do with Abigal O'Brien? After all, they sort of met through Lily, as he'd first talked to Abigail when visiting with Lily. Maybe he wanted to thank Lily in his own way?

Lily turned back to her plate. Connor seemed so different. He was never MEAN, necessarily, but he was ALWAYS condescending towards muggle borns, including Lily at times, and half-bloods, like Abigail. Lily hoped this change would last.

She didn't want either of her friends hurt. She'd felt that kind of hurt before.

Her gravy and peas suddenly looked like a swamp of drowning green people sinking beneath the potatoes. And that, Lily decided, was exactly how she felt: Submerged.

Twenty minutes later, McGonagall came up behind Lily and told her to report to Filch for detention. Before leaving, McGonagall gave Lily a smile and said she was glad Lily was better, but she should NEVER fly without a teacher present EVER again.

Confidence level: low.

Lily watched as the last pea sunk beneath the surface of her gravy.

Nothing left but to float back up now, right?

Lily lifted herself from the table, found James Potter still eating (though with less liveliness than before), and made her way to Filch's office alone.

Detention with Filch was always so much fun.


Taiyourshoes: And so ends the Liy arc. Haha, potatoes and peas. I'm so lame. But hey, food can inspire thought.... It does for me anyway.

Lily has been the main character up until this point, but I'm passing the torch along to James now. We know everything about Lily— her past, her background, and her new resignation to stop wallowing and go back to being Head Girl Lily. (She's "floating back up" ) Thus, James is pilot now.

Thanks for the awesome reviews for last chapter. I was so excited to see those many messages from botfiction in my inbox. And no, Tiger Lily21, the fic definitely isn't over yet. ;)

I'm planning (note, that is JUST planning) on having a couple chaptered fic on the Evans family. But I may have to rip the torch from Prongs for a time to show you what happened between Lily and Petunia, instead of having a spin-off. It's something I've been planning, but I still don't know when to drop the bomb.

Heh, don't trust me with explosives... E-V-E-R.

At any rate, thanks again, guys. Review please!