Disclaimer: I do not claim to own any names, places, or things from the Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling. Because I don't.


Did You Find What You Were Looking For

Chapter 12: The Old Flame

By: Taiyourshoes


James made his way to Filch's office, stalling as much as possible. Would Lily be angry? He'd deliberately avoided looking at her throughout dinner and hadn't seen her leave the Great Hall. Who knew if she'd hexed him already?

When he rounded the corner he spotted Filch and Lily a few meters off. Lily was quietly waiting with her arms folded, thinking, and she only glanced up momentarily to acknowledge his presence before staring at her feet again. James noticed that she didn't LOOK much like she'd fallen off a broom. He decided not to make this a point of conversation, however, to avoid any bouts of fury by Lily Evans...

Five minutes later, after threats from Filch and mumblings about disembowelment, Lily and James were set to work on scrubbing the suits of armor along the second floor corridor. This, as it turned out, was a rather large feat. They weren't allowed to use magic, had to get the difficult places inside the helmet, and all to the disagreement of the suits of armor.

James could have sworn one showed him a rude hand gesture when he turned around.

They worked in silence most of the night. What was there to say? By the time the clocks chimed midnight there was only one suit left.

"D'you think we should finish it together? We might get it done faster," James offered. He was being terribly gentlemanly about it, and he hoped she noticed.

Lily shrugged, being careful to keep her eyes on the armor, and they both set to work on the suit of armor's base.

This could be his chance to talk to her. Maybe she'd call him James again, or sugar muffin. No matter. All he'd have to do is start the conversation. But what could he say that wouldn't come off as pricky?

Daringly, he put his rag down and looked across at her, intending to make a remark about how much they'd finished already. But when he peered at her over his glasses, her green eyes were already looking over at him. More shocking still, she didn't turn away when she noticed his gaze being returned.

In that moment, James saw something in her eyes he'd never seen before. Something that wasn't anger, nor amusement, nor annoyance. It was something he'd seen when looking at Sirius after he showed up on his doorstep, explaining that he needed a place to stay. It was something he could see in Remus when the full moon neared. It was something he could spot in Peter at times when he was entirely separate from the rest of them, sticking out like more of sore thumb than a best friend.

This was the first time James Potter really saw Lily Evans. She wasn't putting up a front of perfection for the rest of the world in an attempt to prove herself every bit as good a witch as any pureblood, nor was she looking entirely comfortable in the skin she was given.

Lily Evans was just Lily Evans. Born a muggle and a witch, destined for ridicule in school for being "too weird" or "too different," and then labeled the same by a few too many students when she finally entered the world where she belonged.

But James doubted that was where this torment came from. He remembered the glow in her eyes, the warmth that resonated from them, and noticed that while there was warmth in her eyes there was also a heartbreaking coldness.

He wondered why he'd never noticed it before.

In an instant, the coldness vanished and any trace of pain was gone. "Sorry for ruining your Quidditch game," she said quietly, a soft smile creeping onto her face.

James, gaining his composure again, gave a broad smile. "Why, Evans, I thought you'd have forgotten about that, with the way you hit your head against the ground when you fell. Can you still do math?"

Lily gave a sarcastic grin. "Why, can you?"

"Just as well as ever."

"So not too well, then."

"Guess not."

She chuckled and lifted herself to her feet. James followed suit.

"I think Rusty, here," Lily gestured towards the suit of armor, "won't tell if we just skip doing the inside his helmet. Right, Rusty?"

It may have just been a figment of his imagination, but James could have sworn the suit of armor smirked at her. Shaking his head, he and Lily cleared up all the cleaning products. Together they returned everything to Filch's office, careful to dump it all on his desk in the messiest way possible, and walked back to Gryffindor tower and through the portrait hole.

"'Night, Potter," Lily waved, beginning to walk up the stairs. James frowned at the sound of his last name, once again, crossing her lips. At least she didn't hiss it at him.

He was about to head off to his room when a thought struck him. "Goodnight to you too... Lily."

James heard a thump as Lily tripped on her way up the stairs.

Lovely. James could only hope another concussion wouldn't be involved.


Lily Evans shut the door behind her once she'd entered her dormitory. She rubbed her knee, which had suffered from the impact of her last fall, and collapsed onto her four poster.

She hadn't heard James Potter use her first name since before he made his little... club with the Gryffindor boys in their year. It had just surprised her, is all. It wasn't a big deal or anything.

Well, it shouldn't be, anyway.

Still, Lily couldn't help but wonder what it meant that he used her first name. Why not Evans? He'd always used Evans. Always.

It would be like Abigail O'Brien calling her sugar muffin... Except less creepy.

After a few minutes of debate, Lily began to drift off to sleep. Silently, she decided she'd try calling him James next time she saw him.

Maybe it meant they were becoming friends. What was the bad in that?


So he'd said it. James had said her first name. It just took a little bit of pushing and then it rolled out, simple as that.

And then she tripped.

She MUST be in love with him. That or she lacked any kind of coordination.

James pat himself on the back for so obviously wooing her with his charm.

Once inside his room he checked to see if anyone else was awake—which wouldn't be a surprise to him, as his friends were usually planning a prank or hexing one another before bed, as was their custom. James was disappointed to see that everyone in the room had their drapes pulled around their four-posts and he could faintly make out the sound of Peter's snores and Sirius mumbling something in his sleep.

Now whom would he share his triumph with?

Deciding he'd talk their ear off later, he peeled his bedsheets down, preparing to get into them... When he found a note sitting on his mattress. More than curious, he unfolded the parchment.

His gaze shifted to the signature, but it wasn't from Lily (as he'd hoped), but from... Hailey Cavendish? Was she in Gryffindor? He couldn't really be sure, as all the female population was throwing themselves at him constantly. He couldn't possibly tell one girl from another anymore.

When one is as rich, popular, and charming as James Potter, one needs to hire bodyguards just to keep the swarms off!

That or James had a terrible memory. Same thing.

Snapping out of his thoughts, James read on.

James—

I heard you were Quidditch Captain this year and I wanted to know when you'd be holding tryouts for the vacant position of beater. I was really hoping to talk to you face to face about this, but I forgot that you had detention tonight with Lily Evans. So if you could, would you meet me tomorrow before breakfast in the empty classroom on the fourth floor? I'd really appreciate it if we could talk about this season. Thanks.

Hailey Cavendish

James paused when he was through for several reasons. First, he realized he completely forgot to plan Quidditch tryouts. Which was stupid, as Quidditch was usually his main focus and he'd been thinking about the team all summer. James decided to place the blame on Lily Evans, as she'd been occupying his thoughts so much lately. Second, it occurred to him that it was a little weird that someone would want to meet with him, face to face, over the house Quidditch tryouts. When the time came, wouldn't he just put up a notice?

All the same he told himself he'd meet this Hailey Cavendish tomorrow morning. What would be the bad in that?


Hailey was already there when he arrived. She did look familiar, James noted when she turned to face him. He was certain he'd seen her sparkling blue eyes before, staring at him in class or something.

"Hey," she greeted, walking between desks to meet him at the door. When there was only about three feet between them she halted, staring up at him.

He was CERTAIN he'd seen those blue eyes before... but where?

"You wanted to know when tryouts were, right?" James asked, putting his school bag on the floor beside him. "I am thinking of having them this Saturday, but I'm putting up a notice in the Common Room as soon as I ask McGonagall if we can reserve the pitch."

"What positions are open?" she asked. For some reason, James got the impression she wasn't entirely interested in Quidditch. She was gazing at him as if in a trance.

He listed off the positions, wanting to get down to breakfast. Hailey was perfectly nice and obviously very pretty, but he didn't feel too comfortable in her presence. There was something about her...

Sure, he could have just seen her in passing, but there was something COMPLETELY familiar about her eyes that caused him to wonder if there was ever more to their relationship than just two strangers going to the same school.

"Are you wondering where you know me from?" she asked slowly, crossing her arms knowingly.

"You don't remember? Don't worry, I don't blame you. I didn't remember you were the same James until recently. You look so different."

Still confused, James could only stare. That's when she took another step forward, surprising him.

"You were always so cute. I remember your mother making cookies for us. I'd force you to be in my little tea parties, and sometimes we'd go on the swings in your back yard. The longer we played, the more we felt like it was the end of the world when my mother would call me home. I had no idea you were a wizard. I didn't know I was a witch until so much later."

Hailey had been staring at his feet, but her eyes finally met his once again. She took a step closer. "We promised to see each other again. I looked for you, but you moved soon after I did."

It was then that James remembered her.

"I never forgot that promise. You were the first boy I ever... I ever..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Instead, she leaned over until he could see every freckle on her face...


Memories from the past flooded his mind: a birthday party, a kissing game, and a promise to remember each other always, always. He was so little when she moved away, how could he remember her now?

James headed back to the Entrance Hall, dazed.

"I'm sorry," Hailey had said, taking a step back. "You probably don't even remember me."

He did, but he didn't tell her that. Instead he watched as she slipped past him and hurried out the door.

When he entered the Great Hall, he caught sight of Lily Evans taking a seat beside Peter. A surge of guilt ran through him.

Women, always throwing themselves at him... How was he supposed to wait forever for Lily to come to her senses?

But then there was the question of, how could he not?


Taiyourshoes: Hmmm... I had a few doubts about this chapter. There was so much of it I didn't like. I was just writing nonsense, trying to get the chapter out. Eventually, I gave up. And then I wrote this.

I really didn't like the whole Hailey Cavendish thing much since I hadn't set up for it, but a friend of mine said this:

"i think what you've got leaves plenty of room for Lily and James to maybe "mature" a little. And I wanna know what Lily's gonna do.... about the whole thing. Ehehehehe, hurray for sticky situations! Much tension, much drama, and it'll keep the momentum of the story going."

And so I decided to stick to it and try to fit it in as much as possible. I really hoped it worked out.

Hailey is Amelia's sister, if anyone was wondering. Cavendish and Cavendish. Muggle born.

I have to say, I am much more comfortable writing about Lily than James. I get girls better, so of course I really miss writing about Lily. But we don't need to hear any more about her, really (except little pieces), so I'm going to try my best to let everyone know about James's ... first love, shall we say?

OR maybe I will just go back to Lily. Who knows what goes through my head? Other than me, and that's only half the time.

Man this was really OOC James, wasn't it? Drattles. It will get better, we're just, er, seeing another side of him!

Until next time, folks. Review and tell me what you think. I need to know where to go!