"Now, you put the Spiritual Stones right here...and then you play this song."
Link pulled out the Ocarina of Time. Here he was again...he played the melody. The Door glowed yellow, just as before, and opened.
"Come on."
"Is it...?"
"As long as you stay with me, you have nothing to fear. Let me tell you some history."
"All right."
Link and Malon walked up to the Master Sword.
"You remember Ganondorf, I'm sure. Well, the story with Ganondorf is that he got the Triforce thanks to the childish innocence of Zelda and myself. He destroyed Hyrule. So I took the Master Sword seven years later when I woke up, something to do with me not being old enough. I kicked the shit outta the fucking pig. I got the Triforce of Courage, Zelda the Triforce of Wisdom, and he kept the Triforce of Power. We locked him up in the Sacred Realm, and then I was transported back to when I was ten...the day we met. That was the day I met Zelda as well."
Malon was speechless and silent.
"Come on, there's more. Hold my hand TIGHT."
Link pulled the Master Sword with his free hand.
------------------------------------------------------
White. Blank white everywhere. Link and Malon couldn't see anything but white.
"Link..."
"Just walk...it's all solid ground, and we can't get lost." Link and Malon stayed together. The white was broken by a voice.
"What...who..."
Link and Malon turned to see Ganondorf Dragmire. He seemed to be sitting in a corner, only there were no visible walls or floor.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
Link looked down at the former King of Evil. He was thin, paler green, and weak.
"I need the Master Sword."
"I know. You're going to save Hyrule...again. But why'd you bring her?"
Ganondorf pointed a bony finger at Malon.
"She deserves to know who I am."
"Yeah, whatever. Fuckin' love, mushy, shit. Hey, kid...kill that mother fucking prick. And maybe...I'll go easy on you and Zelda."
"I will kill him, but not for you."
"Heh heh heh...still pure and holy? I respect that at least you sitck with a side and stay to it. Not Lych...that man has a much blacker heart than I do. Even his own father could not control him. It was so bad, that he sent Lych's baby brother away with the Queen, his own wife, to find him another home. Lych did some backstabbing and got his mom and that kid sent to Hyrule. Once that ship hit shore, it was on...no doubt they got killed in that Unification War."
"What a sad story."
"OH! I remember you...the farm girl! So you're the one the Hero of Time chose to spend his life with or whatever..."
"Hero of Time? Link is the Hero of Time?"
"WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, FUCKING SING IT FOR YOU? If it wasn't for that asshole, I would still be free and alive! But no, I got about nine hundred and ninety-three more years before I can break this mother fucking seal! You see this white shit? I don't even know where I am! I don't even get the luxury to see the wall, the floor!"
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" Link interrupted Ganondorf. "You're here because the Sages and the Goddesses thought it was a good fucking idea. I'm just the one whose job was to put you in your place!"
"Get the fuck out of here. If I had some strength, I would just fuck you up right now."
Malon whispered something in Link's ear. Link nodded. Malon then walked over to Ganondorf.
"You mentioned something about Lych having a brother?"
"Yeah."
"Who was sent to Hyrule with his mother?"
"Yes."
"During the Unification War?"
"Yes."
Malon turned to Link. "Link, didn't your mother die trying to find you shelter during the Unification War?"
Link slowly realized what the hell was going on.
"Lych is my brother?"
Ganondorf nodded. "Possibility. I mean, you two do look the same."
"How would you know?"
"Lych was born to a woman not the King's wife. That woman was a Gerudo. I traded him a sex slave for a couple of swords. You might recognize them. Nabooru got them when I was locked up here."
"Nice scimitars."
"Blade's too curvy for me."
"Actually, Malon, you would be a very good swordswoman." Link winked.
"Cut the love shit. You got what you came for and got some extra in return."
Link smiled. "You're right. In return..."
Link threw Ganondorf a small bag of weed along with a small one-hitter.
"That's it? Just one fuckin' bag of weed?"
Link nodded.
"Works for me. Go kick ass, you son of a bitch. And next time, don't bring the chick."
"Might come visit ya again...if you promise not to pull any funny shit."
"Heh...do I look like I'm capable of breaking out of here? Besides, you never know...after a thousand years I might start to enjoy it."
Link and Malon looked to each other.
"Link, how the hell do we leave?"
Link brought his Ocarina to his lips as Malon hung tight to him. They left in a flash of light, leaving Ganondorf alone with his weed. Ganondorf packed up a hit.
"GREAT! NO FIRE! CURSE YOU LINK!"
