"So, the Dark Ones now have a home in Lachia, Lachia and Hyrule are allies, Tryeon and Zelda are engaged, you two as well as us two, everything is back to normal except for the giant wave of dead people, and we now, thanks to Lachia, have a giant supply of marijuana?"

"Basically." Malon was laying on Link, who was laying on a giant couch. Unco, the king of Lachia, was with his queen, Impa, sitting down on another smaller couch across from them. The room appeared to be some kind of a study. Impa and Malon were talking while their men were exchanging pipes and being silent.

"So you didn't agree to this for purely political purpose?"

"Well, on one hand, being queen has its advantages." Impa then grabbed Unco's hand. "But I guess I'm in it for other reasons, too." Unco smiled for a second before Link tapped him with the pipe.

Meanwhile, Tryeon and Zelda were coming down a hallway in Hyrule Castle.

"This kicks so much ass, I LIVE IN this place!" Tryeon was looking around.

"MMhmmm..."

"I mean, WE live in this place..."

"Oh hey, sorry to have kept you guys waiting." Zelda rushed down the stairs. Malon stood up and gave Zelda a big hug. Impa and Zelda then hugged before Zelda took a seat. Tryeon sat down beside of Unco and Unco handed him a pipe. Tryeon immediately lit up.

"How's Link doing?" Zelda sat up, leaning towards Malon and Link.

"Yeah, how is ya, boy? Here, hit this...it'll help." Tryeon handed Link his freshly packed piece.

"I'm good...just a little sore, that's all." Link sat up and took a hit. He coughed like crazy and handed it back, his ribs in agony.

"See, it's a pattern. He smokes, so his chest won't hurt, but he coughs so bad his chest hurts worse." Zelda rolled her eyes and gave Link a quick pat on the shoulder. "You've healed a lot for it only being a couple of weeks."

"I'll be okay." Link rubbed his eyes. He had been sleeping at the Castle that past night, as he had some work to do. He had to be in Hyrule Castle Town to get supplies to help rebuild the stables at Lon Lon Ranch, then buy some horses up in the mountains for Talon. Link was living with Talon and his now fiancee Malon in the unharmed ranch house. He helped out with the business, they made money, and all was well. Link still had his old house in the forest still. Saria had the keys to it. It made a hell of a vacation home. But since he knew he'd be by, he knew he'd be at the castle. With Unco and Impa still around, he knew he'd be high as a kite.So he just planned to be there. And this? This was a morning wake and bake.

"So what's up with Dux and Nabooru?" Malon broke the ice and changed conversation topic. Talking about Link's pain probably made it worse. A broken nose, a slash across his ribs...

"They're in the mountains, said they're going to take care of things there. You know, in case anyone actualy wants to stay there."

"Ah, you know there will be a lot more than you think. People want to get away sometimes, and that's the place to do it."

Link stretched out a little bit.

"Well, if everyone's happy, then I think that there's really not much more to do. So is everything going to be all right or what?"

"Yeah, we'll all be alive, and we'll all be taken care of. Only problem is, we all have countries and businesses to run." Unco moved to stand up as well.

"Well, kids, I'm going down to the Market and getting some chicken."

"Hell yeah, so am I! Grab some honey, too!" Tryeon stood up.

"Fuck, get me a beer while you're out." Link laid back down and winked at Malon.

"We'll just stay here...hehehehe..."Malon laughed as she leaned over towards Link.

"Oh hell no, you are not fucking on that couch!" Impa stood up.

"Impa, it's a bit late for that..." Zelda stood up.

"That was yo daddy's couch!" Everyone argued as they left, with Link and Malon left alone in the room together. Malon and Link inch closer and closer, and when the door shuts leaving them in the room alone...

...well, I don't think they would want to be bothered. Would you?

Lachia and Hyrule would prosper for decades to come. Unco and Impa's country, Lachia, became famous for its extremely tough fighters; the toughest being their son, Jude. (And, of course, its killer weed.) Dux and Nabooru founded the Mountain Alliance, which was all the small cities and small towns in the mountains formed together. All in all, about seventy thousand people remained in the mountains, which became a breeding ground for the fine arts. Their sole child, Cole, wrote one of the greatest pieces of literature in ancient history; "The Ballad Of The Wind Fish" was passed down for generations. Hyrule's population increased greatly, and business boomed, making Hyrule one of the wealthiest nations in the world. Tryeon and Zelda would have two children, both were groomed for life in a onarchy government.

Link, Malon, Unco, Impa, Tryeon, Zelda, Dux, and Nabooru all remained friends and potsmokers until their deaths.

And one more thing...

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"DAMN IT!" Ganondorf fell to his knees, the packed one-hitter in his hand. Ganondorf sobbed.

"You sick son of a bitch! PLEASE! DIN! GIVE ME FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!"

Ganondorf then stood up, and stuck his hands out like a zombie.

"I NEED FIRE! LIGHT ME UP, YOU COCKSUCKING FAERIES! I GOT YA TRIFORCE RIGHT HERE!" Ganondorf grabbed his crotch, looking up. Still nothing but white. No wall, no celing, no floor, just white.

"I'll sing and dance, any song you want! ANY MOTHER FUCKING SONG! I don't care if it's David Bowie! GIVE ME THE WEED!"

Meanwhile, in some other place where it's all white...Din, Farore, and Nauru are floating in the air, a mirror with some white powder, a straw, and a razorblade sit between them.

"So, yeah, totally. I would let Johnny Depp rape me." Farore and Nayru are talking about guys while Din tries to ignore the cries of the Triforce of Power's holder.

"You know who I want to fuck? Randy Orton." Nayru wiped her nose while Farore finishes up a line.

"Shit, girl, please...you want a REAL MAN, baby girl! Here, you need another line, maybe you'll talk some sense then."

"Hey, that motherfucker down there's been crying his eyes out for some fire." Din looked up at her two friends. "He wants fire? Okay." Din looked down and pointed her finger.

Back in Ganondorf's blank white prison, Ganondorf is lit on fire.

"NO! LIGHT THE BOWL! THE BOWL! AHHHHHHHHH!"

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Sucks to be him, eh?