Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. --;


Authors Note: Yeah, I'm sort of mad right now because I want to update (right now it's 12-21-04) but for some gay stupid rule, I can't update until today (whatever today is, which you, the audience member, will be able to read my randomness of the storys...>> ah..). And of course, it's after Christmas, and that sort of ruins my whole "Random Christmas" story. So, I'm just going to do a series of short random storys in "Kingdom Hearts Gone Wild." ....damn I'm mad.


Stupidness

Chapter 3

Riku sat in front of the fire. Christmas had past, and Sephy had died (we are all so very sad about that...I mean..who wants a psycho killer to die? I ask ya...) He was left with the few presents his friends had gotten him...which was one gift from Sora.

Sora walked up to Riku and gave him a friendly hug. "Did you like my gift Riku-kun? Didja? Didja?!"

Riku smiled a fake smile and told his friend. "Oh yes, I loved it!" he exclaimed sarcasticly (if that is humanly possible).

Sora blinked and stared at what was in Riku's lap. It was the present he had gotten him, and it was still wrapped. "You didn't even open it!" he pouted.

"Oh," he said, realizing his very stupid mistake. "I'll open it right now!" He tore off the paper and looked at what it held. A sweat drop formed. "Sora, why did you get me a Jessica Simpson Christmas CD?" he asked.

Sora smiled. "The television said it was the perfect gift!"

Riku put his hand on Sora's shoulder. "Sit down Sora, and let me explain to you the power of TV advertisement."

(a few moments later)

"And that's how babys are made!" exclaimed Riku.

Sora was huddled on the floor, thumb in his mouth, and shaking like a toddler. He covered his eyes and ears (try to imagine that..does he have three hands? :O?) and rolled back and forth. "Make it stop! Make it stop! It burns, it BURNS!" He yelled. He got up off the floor. "Wait, weren't you going to tell me about television ads?"

"Oh yes," said Riku, leaning back in his chair. "Now, television is a brain washing system created by the government. They get you to do things you don't want to do, just because it looks fun."

"Ooooooh!" said Sora.

"Now that we are off that matter," said Riku. "I think it's time to get on with our regular program."

"Yes!" exclaimed Sora. "We are here today to tell you about the stupidness of Xmas songs. Number one, The twelve days of Christmas."

"Now think about it, there aren't twelve days of Christmas, am I right? If there was, we'd all be broke from buying so many gifts," Riku explained.

"And also, what are with the lyrics?" asked Sora.

"I don't know, ...Montana?" said Riku.

A sweat drop formed on Sora's head. "That was a retorical question."

Riku stared blankly at Sora. "What's a retorical question?"

Sora shrugged. "I think it's some kind of french cheese. Anyways, think about the randomness of the lyrics. For example, 'A partridge in a pear tree.' One, WHAT THE HELL IS A PARTRIDGE?"

"Some find of french cheese?" laughed Riku.

"No," Sora stated. "That's a retorical question. What a partridge is...well, it'sa family of stupid red heads copying off the Brady Bunch. Also, WHO EATS PEARS ANYMORE? I mean, come on!"

"I do..." added Lili-sama, the ever so sexy awesome author of this fan fic. "I love pears..."

"And," added Riku. "The things that the 'true love' gives to the singer/person/pear loving weirdoare stupid. Who wants a bunch of birds and loud bangy instrument playing hobos? No one! The only thing that makes sense in that song is the five golden rings. Now someone would want that!"

"I thought it was five onion rings," said Lili-sama to herself.

"STOP INTERUPTING OUR FAN FICS!" yelled Kairi, once again killing Lili-sama. Of course, this was normal by now so, everyone just ignored Kairi.

"Moving on," said Sora. "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. Now, in this song they state that this gay Reindeer has a shiney red nose, over and over and over. First no one likes him, and just because some none existent fat guy starts to like him, everyone else does!"

"Next," said Riku. "Rocking around the Christmas Tree. First of all, WHAT THE HECK IS A CHRISTMAS PARTY HOP?! IT ISN'T EASTER PEOPLE! Also, they say they are going to eat Pumpkin Pie in this song. This song is stupid because the song is about Christmas, but they remind us of other holiday traditions."

"And last," said Sora. "Every kids favorite, Jingle Bells. 'One Horse Open Sleigh' ...what other kind of sleighs are there? The ones with the sun roofs and cup holders? I think not."

"That is all the time we have! Thank you for tuning into 'The stupidness of Holiday Songs'." Riku said gleefully.

"Riku, you still haven't gotten me my gift!" pouted Sora.

"Oh, I'll get you your gift," said the smiling Riku, dragging Sora into a closet.

The End

"Riku! What is that! It's so hard!" exclaimed Sora.

"I said the end damn it!" Riku yelled.

The End

"Oh Riku! Thank you! I never had my own yard stick before!" Sora exclaimed

A sweat drop formed on Riku's head. "Stupid author.."

The End (seriously)