Disclaimer: I don't own Yuyu Hakusho, Bob Dole, Pinky and the Brain, I Love Lucy, or anything of the like. However, I wish I owned Youko and Kuronue, as do we all, I'm sure.


Kuronue hummed cheerfully as he mixed various ingredients into a large bowl. "Now, what else should I put in here?" he wondered out loud.

Youko came into the room and stared at his bat-like partner. "Kuronue, what are you doing?"

"Making sake," he replied simply.

Youko gave him a puzzled look. "Sake? Why are you making sake?"

"Because I don't feel like going out and buying some," he answered.

Youko scoffed at him. "What do you mean 'buy'? Since when do you ever pay for anything?"

"Don't hate, appreciate," said Kuronue. "Now, come help me decide what to put in here."

Youko rummaged through the cupboard. "Let's see, I know I put it somewhere… Here it is!" He took out a large, dusty cookbook and put on his reading glasses. (A/N: I know he has perfect vision, but glasses would make him look so cute!) "I think there's a recipe for sake somewhere in here." He leafed through several pages. "Found it!" he cried. "Oh, wow."

"What is it?" asked Kuronue, taking the cookbook. "Fifty different kinds of sake! Sweet! And I know just which kind I want to make. Youko, pass me a match and some flowers."

"Isn't that for the baloney-flavored sake?" asked Youko.

Kuronue glanced at the fox apparition. "How did you know?"

"I used to experiment," he replied.

"…Sure…" said Kuronue, staring at Youko. "Anyway, I need to make smoke and mix in flowers with alcohol, rice oil, and some carrot milk."

"Carrot milk?" asked Youko. "How do you milk a carrot?"

"I dunno," said Kuronue. "Do we have any carrot milk?"

Youko shook his head. "No. Wanna go get some?"

"Are you gonna be the one to milk the carrot?"

"No."

"Then I guess we're gonna have to make it without carrot milk," decided Kuronue.

Youko looked carefully a the cookbook. "It says here to be sure not to forget the carrot milk."

"Aw, what do they know?" retorted Kuronue.

"Apparently more than you do," said Youko, raising an eybrow.

Kuronue made a face at him. "Ha, ha. Anyway, does it say what will happen if we 'forget' the carrot milk?"

"No…" Youko admitted.

"Well, then, I'm just going to make the sake anyway," said Kuronue.

Youko sighed. "Suit yourself."

So, Kuronue got a rose from Youko's hair, got alcohol and rice oil out of the cupboard, and made the sake.

Later...

"Mm, time to try this sake out!" said Kuronue excitedly.

"I wouldn't drink that concoction if I were you," warned Youko.

"And that's exactly why you're not me," re said, drinking some of the sake. "Hey, this is pretty good! Wanna try some?"

Youko shook his head. "Nah, I'm good."

Kuronue shrugged. "All right, whatever." Kuronue drank more sake and made a cheesy grin. "I could take this baby upstairs and show her a good time. In fact, that's what I'm gonna do."

"Weirdo," Youko muttered. "Well, you go do that. I'm gonna go lock up that cookbook."

Two hours later…

Youko was sitting in a chair, innocently reading a book. Suddenly, his ears perked up and he looked around. "Hm, it's too quiet. I'm going to go check up on that bat-winged baka." He went upstairs and entered Kuronue's room. "Kuronue? Where are you?" he called. He heard a noise and saw a big lump hidden under the bed sheets. He walked over to the bed and lifted up the covers. "Kuronue, what are you doing?" he asked. At that moment, Youko realized that Kuronue was completely drunk.

Kuronue once again made a cheesy grin. "Hey, Youko, you're looking foxy," he said.

"Shut up, baka," said Youko, annoyed. "What are you doing?"

Kuronue kept grinning. "Like I said, I showed this baby a good time."

Youko looked at him skeptically. "And how did you do that?"

"I asked her to marry me," he answered.

"That's it?"

"Yup."

Youko was now thoroughly confused. "Wait, you asked a now-empty bottle of sake to marry you?"

Kuronue smiled. "Yup. She said yes."

Youko pulled the covers back over Kuronue. "Okay, you just go to sleep now."

"Okey-dokey, foxy-boy," said Kuronue in a muffled voice.

The next morning…

"Oh, I don't feel so good…" mumbled Kuronue.

Youko came upstairs to Kuronue's room. "Morning, Kuronue. Do you remember anything from last night?"

Kuronue shook his head. "Not really. Hey, what's this bottle doing here?"

"So, the memory loss plant worked," Youko thought. "You had too much sake to drink last night," he said out loud.

"Oh, yeah…" said Kuronue slowly. "The last thing I remember is going upstairs with a bottle… After that, it's kind of fuzzy…"

"Well, I did some research on the kind of sake you made, and discovered that the reason it was so intoxicating was because you forgot the carrot milk," said Youko.

Kuronue groaned. "Aw, who's gonna milk a carrot, anyway?"

"Will you get over the milking-the-carrot thing already!" shouted Youko.

"NEVER!" Kuronue screeched. He ran out of bed and crashed into a wall.

A sweat drop appeared on the back of Youko's head. "Um, Kuronue, there's something else you should know about the sake…"

Kuronue sat on the floor, rubbing his head. "What?"

"The sake-" Youko began.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!" roared the sake bottle.

"…has a mind of its own," finished Youko. "It mutates."

"…Well, I didn't see that one coming," said Kuronue.

"Yup," said Youko. "To tell you the truth, I thought it was an old wives' tale myself."

Kuronue's eyes widened. "There are old wives' tales about baloney flavored sake?"

"You'd be surprised," said Youko.

"Too late," said Kuronue. "Well, what should we do now?"

Youko looked at him. "The only thing we can do." Youko whistled. "Mercutio!"

Youko's assistant Mercutio came out of nowhere.

Mercutio saluted them. "Yes, sir!"

"Bring out… the bag," said Youko ominously.

Mercutio nodded. "Sir, yes, sir!" He took out a bag labeled Bag o' Bob Dole. "Should I release it now, sir?"

"Yes, and leave it here, please. That will be all," dismissed Youko.

"Sir!" said Mercutio. He saluted one last time, then left. The Bag o' Bob Dole opened and Bob Dole came out of it.

"Hello, Mr. Freaky Sake Bottle," said Bob Dole. "Bob Dole thinks you should stop attacking us and go away. Bob Dole would appreciate it very much. Bob Dole… Bob Dole…" he trailed off. The sake bottle screamed like a little girl and ran away.

"Well done, Mercutio," Youko congratulated.

Mercutio came back. "Thank you, sir!" Then he left again.

"Wow, you're prepared for anything, aren't you?" exclaimed Kuronue.

"Absolutely," said Youko. "That Bag o' Bob Dole will scare anything away, guaranteed."

"So, what should we do now, Youko?" asked Kuronue.

"The same thing we do every night, Kuronue: try to take over Makai!" declared Youko.

"That sounds cool," said Kuronue.

"As cool as sitting on the sofa like two bumps on a log and watching old I Love Lucy reruns?" said Youko.

"Psh! As if!" said Kuronue.

So, Kuronue and Youko did exactly that. They just sat there watching TV until the cows came home.

"Wait – we have cows?" asked Kuronue.


A/N: Hope you liked this fic! It took me quite awhile, actually. First I had writer's block, then I realized I'd written the entire thing in script format and had to go back and change it… So yeah. I couldn't resist the references to Pinky and the Brain, Romeo + Juliet, and Family Guy (which I no longer watch, by the way). Gotta love Mercutio! Thanks for reading, and please take a moment out of your day to post a review. It would make our dear Youko very happy!

Youko: You know it.