Mentor Demented

A/N: Hello my pretties, have you missed me? I know you did, no use denying it. Sorry I couldn't update sooner; I had to go on emergency leave with my mother to Sweden, which was really unavoidable. But we made it back safely, so no worries! Anyway, onward to the first. . . chapter was just too original/tacky (and besides, you're supposed to express your creativeness here).

Disclaimer: I disclaim everything and all here except the insanity with which the empty fishbowl commands me. I'm sorry, but I couldn't bury the memory of Seymour! Even if he did eat himself, which he really did do. . . sort of .

Oh, and I'll just do a shout-out now, I guess you could call it, or the thingy where I say 'Hi!' to all the reviews. Okie-dokie, let's roll!

Silverrowan: Poor Yuki? Poor Yuki? Oh, don't 'Poor Yuki' him just yet. The tingle in his head is about to become a migrane! Muwahahaha!!

Puffin: It's quite alright to be confused. I'm actually confused myself at the moment, so no worries! Quick Explanation, though I can't say too much or all will be revealed (or so they say). It was Shuichi's parents that died, and they were the former partners with Yuki. Strangely enough, Yuki doesn't remember them ever having children, that's why he's not too particular about having a high-nosed, snob-of-a-gun living with him. But like Princess of Mirrors said, won't he be surprised?

clari chan: Thank you, thank you, thank you! I hope to try and update every two weeks, but my mind always makes me change something. Or maybe it's Seymour? glares at the empty fish-bowl

Kloudy Reignfall: I'm sorry! I don't mean to be so gosh-darn confusing! I can't help it! But I'm glad you like it so far. Yay!

silverwing18: grins back Yuki will have more realizations as time goes on; hope you stay with me to see how it could get worse...lalala.

drachth: ...it's actually a debatable question wether or not english was my first language. Either that, or german, but I learned both around the same time. What should be asked is which school did I attend? The american, or local german school? Well, you'll just have to find that out yourself, now won't you? Why? Because I'll never tell; muwahahahaha!!(I have this addiction to the evil laughter at the moment-have you noticed?)

swtdreams07: Yuki will lose it soon enough, don't worry about that...evil smile (See? I didn't laugh that time, either. Ha!)

Crimson Devil: I'm glad that you found humor in this, Crimson Cousin. I just realized I'm not really a funny person, just unbearably sarcastic. Curses...it's Seymour's fault!

driven to insanity: Thank you for the well wishes, I actually am feeling better! Your wishing worked! Yay! Now I wish for you to be the happiest person for the next two weeks!

Queen of the Paperclips:Cool name! And with each word that I write from now on, that's how many more chapters you shall accomplish! ...wait, no, that's too many chapters! Argh! Unless you're a professional writer in disguise, then you'd better have twice as more done! You're being paid for it! .

Dir en Ciel: I can guarantee you nothing that it will turn out good, only that it will be...different. As usual.But glad you like it so far! Yippie! La-di-da...

Princess of Mirrors: As the yoga-master says, patience is the key to...um...give me a minute. Okay, I don't know, but anyway, as mentioned above, surprises galore soon to follow!

Man...that took long! Amazing, yet again!

Remember, this is an attempt at comedy, I didn't say it would be a Success! And did I mention I'm grinning because of your reviews and it's got my mother spooked? Honestly!

And now, onward to the first official chapter! Woohoo!


1st Night- Mister Master


Eiri froze in mid-breath, allowing this information to process. '(a) The heir =(b) living in Yuki Manor; (c)Yuki = (b)living in Yuki Manor. If I put a and c together. . .'

What the hell?!

"He's going to move in with ME? Meaning, he will live WITH ME under MY ROOF?!" Yuki exclaimed in disbelief, shouting it out more for himself than for Tohma to understand his sudden frustration. The dozens of various-colored cars continuously honking and beeping on either side of them did nothing to help improve Yuki's mood. But he had to ask, wondering if his associates, no, his former associates had known his secret, wary of the reply to come. "Does he know who I am? WHAT I am?"

"Oh good, we're here now." Tohma pulled onto the curb and parked, immediately hopping out of the car as he skillfully avoided answering the question. Yuki sat stunned in the car for another moment, then quickly hastened to shadow Tohma until all his questions were answered and he was satisfied. He couldn't believe that someone would truly leave an unsuspecting. . . person in his care. Tohma quickened his step into the reflective skyscraper, stopping only in front of the elevator that would take him to his office. He only spared the receptionist a wave as she called out a greeting towards him. Tohma hadn't bothered to see if Yuki had followed. He knew that Yuki would in his present state of shock and frustration, noting how his golden eyes seemed to glow a slight crimson as he glanced at him from the side. The receptionist shrunk back into her seat as a seething Yuki stormed by her and reached out as if to grab Tohma by the collar and chuck him across the hall.

"Temper," Tohma gently chided, smiling in spite of himself. "All in good time, my friend," he promised, stepping into the opened elevator and waiting for Yuki to follow, "all in good time."

Yuki's only response was a deep-throat growl sounding more animalistic than human, but both fell silent as the doors slid closed.


It was so cold.

Shuichi awoke shivering in the cool evening air, not wanting to remember the events that had passed last week. He looked over towards the balcony, to find the glass windows opened wide, the breeze and crimson rays of the setting sun streaming into his room and across his bed unhindered.

He sniffed once as the scent of cooking drifted up, blinking back weariness as he tried to gather his scattered thoughts into something more comprehensible. For a moment he hoped that all was still as it had been; his parents up and well, Maiko cooking dinner while humming oldies to herself, his mother about to stomp up the stairs and drag him from under the sheets, scolding him for sleeping so late. But none of it came to pass.

Maiko wasn't humming, his mother surely wasn't coming up the stairs, and both of his parents would never have another health condition to worry about again. Regretfully, no one truly could answer his questions concerning their untimely death and as to why Maiko couldn't remain with him. Shuichi Shindou was left behind and alone. But because he was still considered a youth at sixteen and therefore not allowed to stay alone overnight in the house, Ryuichi, a family friend, had agreed to care for him until they found a 'more suitable' guardian to watch over him. Ryuichi and Shuichi had normally always been very close, but ever since Ryuichi had been in his current relationship, they seemed very much distant.

Although he cooked and offered him a shoulder to cry on as well as company, Shuichi truly felt cut off from his dearest friend. Ryuichi's normally lively and lighthearted demeanor had changed into one of monotony and silence that was unsuited for him, as if his blissful soul had been exchanged for one that was lifeless; his body only a pale shell that held dreariness and death.

A gentle tap on the door startled Shuichi from his preoccupied thoughts. "Shu-kun?" came a slightly muffled voice from behind the wood. "Shu-kun, if you're hungry, then dinner will be ready in about five more minutes."

Shuichi swallowed, a familiar stinging reappearing behind his shut eyelids. "Thank you Ryu. I'll be right down", he called back, his throat closing, making it impossible to breathe properly. Ever since Ryuic hi had arrived at the Shindou Manor, this was the first time he had addressed Shuichi by his nickname, one that only Ryuichi called him by. The memories that came with the name seemed to crush him further, his whole body feeling weighted down.

Shaking himself, Shuichi slowly crawled out of bed, dragging the sheets with him onto the ground. He quietly padded across the carpeted floor towards his closet, picking out a random NG fan shirt and pair of faded jeans.

'A grave to shelter Cursed Rose . . .'

He jumped, turning around to look about the room wildly. Had he just imagined it? Maybe it's wind, he hoped. But he could swear that someone had just spoken about a rose. He shivered as the thoughts of ghosts slowly crept into his mind, an image of his parents coming back to haunt him if he didn't continue to study for a private college. Glancing around the room once more before going down fully dressed now, he closed the door gently behind him, quickly forgetting the incident as his stomach signaled impatience to be filled.


They had stepped simultaneously out of the elevator, Yuki only slowing his pace for Tohma to hold open the office door for him. Once they entered, both of them had pulled of their coats and taken a seat in opposite black leather chairs in Tohma's office, Yuki still glowering at him.

"It is truly regrettable that we call you at such an unfortunate time, Count", Tohma said, not looking very regretful in the least. He barely even managed a frown, "but in his parents' will, it specifically states that should anything happen before he reaches his eighteenth year, he is to be under your care." He shuffled through the papers, handing him a copy of the legal papers including a picture of his new responsibility.

Count Eiri Yuki, a handsome twenty-three year old blonde, single, dressed in a dark blue blouse and leather black pants with dark shaded sunglasses sighed in irritation. "This boy is sixteen," he muttered, flipping the picture around to show Tohma, "he can legally be considered an adult. Why must I be the one to care for him?"

Tohma's reply was a mocking smile, as he clasped his hand and picture in a friendly gesture. "I fear that is not within my power, for the Shindous' truly didn't wish to get a court involved with the legal guardian papers. And besides," he grinned even wider, Yuki's hand turning into a fist between his two, creasing the picture slightly, "it will only be for two years he is in your care. That's not so bad? That big old house won't be so lonely anymore, now will it?"

"If I didn't see the papers, I would say this is your revenge on me for having rejected your courting last year," Yuki snatched his hand back, grimacing as he looked at the photo. "Or maybe it's because I was always late for our dates?"

Two cerise eyes and pink-tinged hair stared up at him while clutching a guitar with the most idiotic smile on his face he thought humanity could conceive. He took note of the guitar. "Part of a band?" he asked in disbelief, trying to picture the boy on stage performing at some concert, seeing only fluffy clouds and cuddly animals pass through his mind, children the only adoring audience while he sung his don't worry-be happy songs. 'Oh, to humanity', Yuki grimaced. He silently prayed the boy didn't meet his valet, or they probably would be singing karaoke all the nightlong.

Tohma had to flip through some pages before answering. When he looked up, his eyes sparkled with mirth. "Ironically, he plays in a little duo and call themselves 'Bad Luck.' Sort of reminds me of how someone else's day-"

"Finish that sentence and you will be staring through your anus for the rest of the year," Yuki threatened, grabbing his gray wool coat as he stood up and turned to leave, "without medical insurance!" he called over his shoulder.

He didn't see the sardonic smile cross Tohma's face as his back retreated through the ebony door. "I think I should wait and let him find out about the second heir himself, wouldn't you agree?"

There was nobody visible in the office, but anyone present could swear they felt the air nod in agreement. A spitball shot after the closed door from the shadows somewhere.


Strangely Ryuichi seemed to be more himself when not in the constant presence of his lover, Shuichi noted.

He was more of a chatterbox this evening than most other times, to be quite honest. Actually, Shuichi thought he would never have a strange and undeniable longing to duct-tape his mouth shut just to have some silence, and the urge was growing with every passing minute. But he didn't think that would make much of a difference, staring at the way Ryuichi's lips moved animatedly, amazed that he hadn't gone blue in the face yet. It seemed that when Ryuichi wasn't in the presence of his love, Tatsuha seemed to be the only object his mind he could think and talk about.

After dinner they had both moved into the giant living room, Shuichi stretched out on the opposite velvet couch looking at him, his carmine eyes glazed, nodding every five minutes to act as if he had been listening. He absentmindedly reached for the sake bottle every now and then, though he shouldn't be drinking, not even wondering where Ryuichi got it from, because none had touched his lips yet, only a thick red liquid that he sipped from a mug.

If Ryu-chan noticed these things, well good for him, let him daydream about Tatsuha while Shuichi daydreamed about his soon to-be fame and glory. Shuichi mused that if he ever met Tatsuha, then he would instantly have a flashback of this moment, remembering all of the little descriptions about his hair, his face, his clothes preferences, how he was getting on his nerves. He didn't want to tell him that he truly wasn't interested in knowing all the little details that made his boyfriend so lovable and for a distraction, Shuichi had called for a game of Mahjong. But Mahjong had quickly lost its meaning as they repeated some games and started cheating, just for entertainment's sake.

"Before I forget," he suddenly stopped, his motor-mouth going on a momentary pause as he took a sip of the strange fluid, "I was called yesterday to let you know that you're going to be moved to your new mentor tomorrow."

Shuichi sat up straight as his mind focused on those words, not knowing what to think, of how unexpected this news was, almost how unwanted after Ryu-Chan seemed almost back to normal. "When?" he silently asked, looking at the sorrowful expression of his friend and guardian until now.

"Later during the day was all they told me," Ryuichi replied, averting his gaze to the complex designs of the carpet that stretched across the total living room floor. "Your new guardian's valet is to come pick you up later in the evening, they said. I meant to tell you earlier; I'm sorry."

Shuichi just blinked his eyes focusing past Ryuichi, staring at something completely different, unknown even to himself. Why is it that no one could tell him who 'they' were? It would do no good to ask Ryu-Chan, he would probably tell him as much as when he first arrived; a sentence, a nod, an apology. Just like now.

He remembered all the strangers at the funeral with veils covering their faces, all of them sharing few encouraging words with him, wishing him luck in the future, everything ending in an apology. Everything ended in an apology, he thought bitterly, his good humor evaporating as it dawned on him that he might never see his home, his sister again.

No one has the right-

"Oh well, that's just how life goes," he laughed, wanting to drown out the turmoil raging inside him and just try to enjoy what few moments of peace remained. "Let's just continue our game, alright?" Shuichi laughed some more to appear carefree and without worries of his new home, though a slow dread began to fill him. At the very top the missing knowledge as of whom he would be going to, obvious it would be to no relatives. 'Still have to pack,' he thought miserably, but refusing to let any sadness appear.

"I'll help you pack later," Ryuichi added, as if to lend him comfort.

Shuichi just stared at him in disbelief. 'So much for the apology.'


The doorbell rang later that evening around ten, Ryuichi having gone to bed earlier after him and Shuichi having sat together, crying for his losses and fears. But it could also be because they had been under the possible influence of alcohol.

"Coming," Shuichi muttered after the umpteenth ring, he had lost count around three. Slowly he tottered towards the front door to bring the ceaseless ringing to an end, the repeating buzz of 'silverbells' making his head throb. He couldn't figure out for the love of Peat what part of that sound was supposed to sound like a silver bell; it reminded him more of his mother's screeching when he first asked for an electric guitar. 'Technology's the devil, yada yada. . .' Stepping cautiously across the tiled floor, Shuichi nearly tripped over his own suitcase. "Alright, I'm here!" he shouted angrily, wondering who could manage to be so obnoxious so late.

Who indeed.

"Hey Shuichi! How's life going?" greeted the jovial voice, making Shuichi have a mental battle as to preferring the doorbell's buzzing or him.

"Hello Hiro," he mumbled, his body sagging at the energy he had used to not fall while making his way to the door.

"Do you have your stuff packed yet?" his friend asked. Hiro's dark-chocolate hair was tied back in a fashionable ponytail at the nape of his neck, while the rest of him was dressed in an official-looking tuxedo.

"Whose prom-date are you?" Shuichi asked, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Hiro just leered at him. "Very funny. You could really try to be a stand-up comedian, you're a true riot."

"If I wanted to make people laugh, I would have dressed as a clown," he shot back.

"That isn't a costume already?"

"That isn't stolen property you're wearing?"

They glared at each other for a few more minutes, then hugged each other in a brotherly embrace, both laughing. "It's been hell, Hiro", Shuichi admitted, mumbling into his shoulder, his grip tightening as if he alone would keep him standing. Then again, he was the only one presently available to keep him standing anyway.

"I can't say I understand", he whispered, trying not to gasp for air, "but I do ache with you, man. Honestly." 'Are you aching for him, or aching for the lack air you're getting?' he asked himself.

Shuichi sighed gratefully that Hiro hadn't apologized for his loss. It's not as if any of the others could have prevented whatever happened. "It's alright", he said, releasing him and stepping back a bit, "I'm managing a little better than before."

Hiro just nodded, tilting his body to one side, looking around Shuichi. "Is that the bag?" he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the suitcase.

"Yes," Shuichi answered, sounding confused. "Why do you care about it?"

"I've come to pick you up," he replied, that all-too familiar grin splitting his face again.

"I don't understand," Shuichi shook his head as if that would clear things up. It only made his headache return. Curses.

"I'm here to pick you up and take you to your new home," Hiro stated in a matter-of-factly tone.

"I'm going to live with YOU?" he asked incredulously.

"Well," his eyebrows rose, his gaze averting towards the ground as he scratched his head, "no, not really, no. I just work there."

"Oh." Shuichi had considered life with Hiro in the short time-span, his hope escalating at the thought of living with his band-partner. But he wasn't to live with him. 'Wait, I'm supposed to be picked up by this guy's valet to take me to my new home' he thought, his mind in a quick frenzy putting everything together. 'Hiro's here to pick me up, though. This means he's the valet that's to pick me up to take me to my new mentor,' a light clicked on in Shuichi's mind, 'and finally...'


A/N: ...finally it's time for my appearance again! I know at least one of you wants to shoot me, I can feel it right now. But I'm having so much fun! And my uncle's getting married, which has nothing to do with the subject at hand. And I'm sick as well, which you could all care less about, obviously. Oh well, cya in the next chapter!

Don't you just hate it when I do this?