( Ooooh, I made a mistake. Flitwick got attacked twice…hmm, replace Flitwich with Teijina, the Magical Languages Teacher…. I suck, it is replaced though… Anyway! I'd like to thank my lovely reviewers (both of them) who make wasting my time writing this worth while. Go on, take a bow! )
Harry Potter awoke to the familiar smells of the infirmary. Though he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. He moaned as the over all ickyness of how he was feeling came shooting up. He seemed to be having a hangover as any sound or light hurt. He forced himself to sit up and looked around. There was light cascading in from the windows and the sweet smell of flowers drifted from the vases of them that had been sent to the teachers. Harry's eyes fell upon the bed next to his and his heart stopped briefly. There, lying quite helplessly, was Desdemona.
Harry jumped off the bed and hurried to her, instinctively checking for a pulse as he remembered Voldemort's presence. She was alive and let out a soft moan as he moved his hand. Her face was, as usual, covered with charcoal smudges and there was paint in her hair and clay on her clothes. Harry knew she was patrolling the halls at night, but if she'd seen Voldemort she'd be dead… so what happened? Harry brushed the hair away from her face with his hand and noticed that there was a scratch on her face, like she'd been hit by something.
"Embers?" he asked in a whisper as she began to stir in her sleep.
Desdemona turned onto her side, but did not awaken. Harry saw that there was more to the scratch, but her hair fell onto it before he could see clearly what it was. Hesitantly, he reached forward and brushed the hair away again. There was a deep scratch, and a bruise above that, then another, smaller, scratch near her eye. Harry traced his hand across it and jumped slightly as she reached up and grabbed his wrist.
Desdemona opened her eyes and looked fretfully around. "What happened? Where am I?"
"The infirmary," Harry answered calmly. "I'm not sure why."
Desdemona realized she'd grabbed him and quickly released her grip, embarrassed. "S-sorry," she cringed.
Harry shook his head. "Do you remember what happened?" he asked.
'Uh… I was patrolling and I heard footsteps…" Desdemona stated, staring off into a distant corner as she remembered.
"Then what?" Harry urged.
"I… I can't remember," whispered Desdemona, dropping her head.
Harry nodded, figuring she'd been hit in the… He stopped. Wasn't that what Madam Pomfrey had thought was happening to the teachers? The llama had told them what was really happening, but what if the attacker really did attack before using the book?
"Do you, erm, feel off in any way?" he asked stealthily.
"I'm okay," Desdemona replied robotically, sliding off the bed and looking hesitantly towards the nurse's office. "Should we tell her we're up?"
"Yeah, probably." Wondering if she'd turn out to have the same symptoms as the teachers, Harry added "Stay here, I'll go tell her." He crossed to the office and peeked in. Madam Pomfrey was asleep over a stack of parchment. Harry cleared his throat loudly and eventually nudged her awake.
"Wha- huh?" she looked up at him. "What is it dear?"
"Er, well,-"
"You're awake I see, how do you feel?" Madam Pomfrey asked, sparing him from having to answer.
"Fine, but I was wondering what happened to Embers," stated Harry, watching Madam Pomfrey for any sign that she felt the subject was too touchy for her to answer. "I mean, she's got that mark on her face and-"
"What mark?" Madam Pomfrey demanded.
Unconsciously, Harry traced where the mark was with his fingers. "The left side of her face, near her eye. Looks like she got hit with something."
Madam Pomfrey pushed past him and into the main room. Desdemona, who was sitting patiently on the bed, saw the look on the nurses face that every teenager recognizes; the, you're-going-to-wish-you'd-bolted-for-the-door, look. Now, of course we all know that we can't bolt for the door because the nurse would just call our class, yadda, yadda, yadda, but we all know the look and that it means we have to do some fast talking. Riona knew this as well.
"I should be off to class," she began. "Important day today and I'd hate to get behind," she continued devotedly. "I already have a mound of homework that needs to be finished-"
"You'll stay here for observation," Madam Pomfrey interrupted, "and I'll send word to your teachers."
"B-b-but I have potions and Professor Snape won't let me make it up later!" Desdemona proclaimed as Harry re-entered the room.
"Professor Snape will-"
"Will what?" asked a daunting voice.
Harry didn't need to look and see who it was. He knew it was Snape because they'd been talking about him and he had the annoying habit of showing up when it would be the most embarrassing for those in the room. Madam Pomfrey also seemed aware of this, but Embers jumped out of her skin like some kind of bizarre snake and nearly fell off the bed.
"Will let Ms. Embers make up her potions assignments while she is under my care," Madam Pomfrey intoned, having a stare-off with Snape. Harry inched his way towards the door, hoping to sneak past the adults while they were distracted.
"Wellyou'rebusyandI'mbettersoI'mgonnago, bye," he waved and tried to bolt out the door.
"Mr. Potter!" Madam Pomfrey snapped.
If Snape hadn't been there, Harry would have argued that he'd been through the drill so many times it wasn't helpful to keep him there. He had had a problem; he was okay now so he was officially done! Then another idea crossed him. He nodded diligently and became very agreeing. A grin spread across his face as if something wonderful had just happened. Snape immediately became suspicious, as did Madam Pomfrey and in unison they told him to leave.
Harry put up the best arguing voice he could and said, "But-"
"Go!" ordered Snape as Madam Pomfrey stormed off as a final statement.
Harry tried to look down-hearted and shuffled out of the room, leaving poor Desdemona to curl up in a fetal position underneath a blanket and hope they left her alone.
"Now what?" she wondered.
Harry, however, danced down the hallway with joy that can only be caused by outsmarting the system. It was a glorious feeling! Now, of course the entire situation with the attacks caught up and stopped all the nonsense; (you wish!) well, the dancing anyway. Harry trudged off in hopes of ducking into one of his classes before he was called in to talk to the headmaster. Which of course didn't work and he found himself in the stairwell the Dumbledore's office. It appeared that Snape had been sent to the infirmary to tell Harry that Albus wanted to talk to him, so really all Harry's brilliant scheme had gotten him was an extra half-hour of paranoid freedom.
"Ah, Harry," Dumbledore beamed, making Harry wonder what he was hiding in the Tokerstashide plant. "Have a seat."
Harry sat obediently and stared forward with a glazed over appearance that told he wasn't exactly thrilled to be there and was preparing, as all adventurous and a little bit crazy teenagers do, for a very long and time wasting lecture in which they'd take the time to ponder the ingredients of a Twinky. I mean, why is it immortal? It's like a tasty little cockroach pastry. Okay, okay, it's not tasty. But I have a few buried in the backyard. Yes and in a million years some starving person will uncover it and… probably re-burry it but it'll still be… edible? In the form it was originally intended to be? The new God to a group of roaches? Ahem… back to the fic.
"Well, then let's get right to business, shall we?" Dumbledore offered, not waiting for Harry to answer, he continued. "I've noticed how down you seem this year, as have others. What with Voldemort back it seems no one is displaying much enthusiasm and I wish there was something I could do about it."
"Well, why don't you just hire a bunch of clowns to entertain the school," Harry offered blandly. "You could have them bounding through the halls between classes and dancing on the sidelines during meals."
"Goodness, no," Albus laughed gently. "I don't think such dramatic displays are necessary."
"Well, that's my opinion and if you don't want it then can I leave?" proposed Harry.
The cheer melted down and off of Dumbledore's face and he cast his eyes down. The headmaster nodded slowly and linked his finger together. Harry knew better than to speak, even in his frustration he knew that a very ugly side of Dumbledore could show itself at any moment.
"Harry, it seems that all the conversations between you and I have been either full of secrets, or long overdue," Albus took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes for a moment before replacing the specks and staring back at Harry. "I understand you not wishing to talk to me about your troubles, but denial isn't going to make things better. You already know I'm having the professors keep an extra eye on you, but it's not due to a lack of trust. The truth is that Voldemort was unable to kill you twice now and it has created a brutal scar across his reputation."
"Well, he's not attacking me, instead something is attaching the professors," replied Harry pointedly.
"Yes, that was what I called you here to talk about-"
"Well don't bother," interrupted Harry. "Ron is selling the plants and coaching the team, Hermione is having a study war, and I'm teaching a class. We are all busy this year, but if you'd like to discuss the matter with someone you might try asking Sara, Mike, or Chase as they're the ones trying to solve the matter."
Albus nodded very slowly, his eyes downcast and excused Harry with a wave of his hand and a soft, "Then I have no reason to keep you from your class."
"So what happened?" Ron demanded on their trip to their Care of Magical Creatures class.
Harry explained exactly what had happened and noticed that Hermione was allowing Chase, Mike, and Sara into the conversation.
"Oh, well tell him you lot are butting out," Sara confirmed, having perfected a British accent thanks to her many conversations with Ginny.
"He reads minds," Harry informed her.
"Then we'll send in Mike, poor boy doesn't have a mind to read," said Sara.
Harry took notice that instead of getting offended, Mike grinned with honor and nodded his head in agreement. Their conversation took a sharp left turn as Hagrid came into hearing range.
"Yes, but why is there a hole?" Mike asked. "I'd love to see a hole-free donut."
"I believe it's a convenience thing," replied Hermione, about to launch into why she thought that.
"I like donut holes, ya know, the little mini donuts they roll in cinnamon sugar," stated Chase.
"Maybe it was a brilliant advertising scheme," Ron offered.
As Hagrid rolled his eyes and began the day's lesson, the six teenagers made sure to continue their pastry argument whenever he listened in. Other moments were spent relaying facts and combining information. They were dealing with toddler Nues, so no one was listening to any secret conversation. Why on earth Hagrid wanted them to care for a creature whose preferable diet was human, no one knew, though Harry thought that having an army of hand fed Nues was a great idea so long as it wasn't his hands being fed to them. So far they were ripping chunks of goat flesh into strips and trying to convince the toddlers to eat it. The plan wasn't going so well.
Hermione's Nue had already spat the food back at her, giggling after it did so, and she was proceeding to scold it. Harry and Ron ignored this as their job was to rip apart the goat. Chase, Mike, and Sara's Nue was a girl with blond curly hair and bright blue eyes. She looked like an angel, but had Mike by the finger while Chase and Sara panicked and tried to avoid the claws.
"Bad Angel, bad!" Hagrid scolded, yanking open the girl's jaws to reveal exceedingly sharp teeth. Angel giggled and looked to Sara with evil eyes.
"Angel?" Sara spat. "Fallen Angel more like it."
Harry looked to the Nue stationed at their table. A boy with brown eyes, black hair, and a projectile vomiting demon living just behind his left nostril. Or so went the rumor as little Timmy's head spun around.
After the class the students trudged back towards the school. Mike had been sent to the nurse early to get his finger sewn back on, though Sara and Chase had to drag him there with his finger under a freezing spell as he'd promptly fainted. No one blamed him though as a few people had fainted and not one person would go near the Nues except Hagrid, who was telling them that it was all a misunderstanding.
At dinner time, the Gryffindor students that had attended Hagrid's class were not eating and kept looking over at Mike, who was staring t his finger and slowly flexing it up and down as if telling someone to come over. Chase and Sara sat on either side of him, making sure no one said Angel. Dinner was Chili from Wendy's and -(No! I kid! Haha ha ha!)
Harry saw Desdemona and as everyone headed up to the dorms he held back and approached her. He'd been thinking about it all day, and had a feeling that as Flitch's slave, Desdemona would be the next victim. He crossed over to her and smiled as kindly as he could as she always looked so timid.
"Hey," he greeted. "Sorry about ditching you earlier."
"Don't mention it… ever," she replied, casting a look up at Snape and shivering.
"Right," Harry nodded in confusion. "Anyway… I don't think you should patrol the halls anymore. It's too dangerous."
"But Flitch says I have to."
"You HAVE to get out of it as soon as possible."
"I'll ask-"
"I'm serious, Embers, I don't want you to get hurt. Talk to Dumbledore about it."
Desdemona stared at him in obvious surprise and nodded. "I-I'll go see him first thing tomorrow morning."
"Good.
Harry Potter trudged diligently towards his office that had been assigned to him for use while teaching. He passed Snape, who was in a very sour mood for some reason. on his way and froze, not daring to enter the office around him. The potion Master's eyes locked onto him like search missiles.
"Potter," he spat, full rant mode, having seen him talking to Embers.
Harry sighed, wondering what new cruel and unusual punishment Snape would think up for the next class due to his jealousy that Harry had gotten the DADA teaching position and not him. Though he was saved by a sudden poof… actually it was a sudden POOF! Followed swiftly by-
"There you are!" Eric smiled brightly. "You didn't get my note to meet me in the lounge then, did you?"
Severus turned even paler and wheeled on Harry, daring him to speak. Harry, however, had already had a nice long laugh about Eric pretending to hit on his least favorite teacher. He tried to look perplexed and unsuspecting, which is soooo hard for a teenager to do .
"I told Mortimer to give it to you, have you seen him?" Eric asked, expecting Snape to give up the bat.
"No," Snape replied coldly, but seriously.
Eric froze and turned to Harry. "Find him and Gryffindor gets fifty points," he stated quickly.
Harry nodded and left the two adults to have some alone time. Now, traveling the dark corridor at night, a strange thought occurred to Harry. Something was attacking the teachers, so what's the first thing Dumbledore did? Make Harry a teacher. The brilliance was marveling. Harry found that Mortimer had gotten himself stuck in a closet. He let him out and watched the bat walk out, stretch, and seem to be storming of towards something… going barely .5 mph.
Sighing, Harry picked him up and headed back to where he'd left Snape and Eric. That was the point he felt Voldemort's presence again. Luckily, the pain made him release the bat instead of squeezing the life out of it. Mortimer, now a bat on a mission, let out a loud screech that shook the walls and made Harry have to cover his ears, but the presence lessoned and he took the opportunity to grab up the bat and run. He got fifteen feet and was hit again, this time he wasn't as lucky and dropped to his knees in agony.
Meanwhile.
Eric and Snape charged down the hall in the direction they'd heard the screech. However, it had ended and they were left without a path to follow. Snape offered to split up, but Eric ignored him. There were only a few reasons Mortimer would have done that. If someone was in danger, or if he was in danger. Their search was renewed as the bat came flapping down the hall yelling.
"HEEEEEELOOOW!"
"Mortimer!" Eric shouted, noticing that Mortimer had shut his eyes and was hurling himself through the halls. He grabbed the bat and shook him as they continued to walk down the hall. "It's alright, what's happened?"
"It doesn't speak English," droned Severus, overly annoyed.
"He, helow helow, hee, low low, heh," chirped Mortimer.
"Harry Potter is in danger!" Eric gaped, worriedly. "And a student has been attacked!"
Snape's jaw hit the floor and his face froze in pure amazement. "How, you can, but it, I've never…. He told you that?" babbled Snape uncharacteristically.
Eric smirked. "No, I can see them," he stated, pointing down the hallway to their left where he could see Harry and another student fighting.
Severus shot him a glare that forced Eric to poof to the other side of the hall where Harry was being throttled by the delusional boy. Harry, giving up on guy morals, prepared to knee the seventh year in the crotch to keep from being choked to death. Eric, however, intervened and shoved the two apart. The other student promptly collapsed to the floor and Harry formulated a theory, remembering how the presence had been so strong. If he'd turned the corner he had no doubt that Voldemort would have been standing right there and then this guy had jumped out and attacked.
So Voldemort was using an unforgivable to control people. What if all the teachers had been being controlled by him and he simply rid himself of them when… when what? Whenever he was about to be caught? That made sense as Harry had felt his presence twice now before seeing a victim.
"Are you alright?" Eric asked Harry.
"Yes," replied Harry, his voice far away as he thought through his suspicions.
"Harry?" spoke Eric, giving him a light shake.
"Huh?" asked Harry, shaking his head and snapping out of his thoughts.
"Are you okay?"
Harry nodded and looked down at the other student. "What's with him?" he asked, as if he had absolutely no idea what had just happened.
"Er, stress?" Eric guessed, shrugging. "Why don't you, um, go to your office."
"I think I'll go to my office," stated Harry, sounding dazed.
"Good idea," nodded Eric as Snape stalked over looking pleased that Harry was uninjured… yeah right. He held his usual scowl and it seemed a piece of him had died at the knowledge that Mr. Potter would still be continuing to breathe this evening. Harry rushed away towards his office to leave the student in the hands of the adults.
"He's a buftie," laughed a Slytherin boy, pointing at poor Chase, who'd been knocked to the floor.
"What?" asked a Ravenclaw girl on her way to breakfast, rolling her eyes as she was smart enough to think anything a Slytherin would make fun of was good in her book.
"A bum-boy!" Malfoy sneered, towering over Chase, who felt that replying or responding to the Slytherin ignorance was stupid.
"Shut up!" Sara snapped fiercely, not nearly as emotionally controlled as Chase. "Or I'll make you."
"…He is an arse-bandit, and she's the beard," chortled Millicent, pointing at Sara.
"That's it!" Mike leapt forward onto the Slytherin and started throwing punches.
Meanwhile, Sara was staring Millicent dead in the eye. Sure, she was half the size of the Slytherin girl, but Sara was never one to care.
"What's wrong, yank?" sneered Millicent. "You should run along now before you get hurt! You and that cheap knock-off you're wearing, " and with that she launched an ink bottle at Sara's chest. Sara was knocked to the ground, her outfit ruined. She wiped ink off her face and slowly her eyes traveled up to Millicent.
"Ooh it's on now, bitch," she launched herself forward onto the brute and began clawing away. "And my outfit is NOT a knock off! I like in the fashion capital of the world!"
Mike was performing a facial re-arrangement upon Malfoy, who was trying to return the favor, while Chase tried to break up the fight. That was until he was hit and thus returned the blow. Malfoy was out cold and Mike attacked the other boy, stating his thanks to Chase. Eventually they just stopped and stared over at the girls. Guy fights included punching, pushing and pulling and was usually a battle to end up on top. Girl fights had no rules or code of honor. Hair pulling, clawing, biting, everything was fair game and they even spat out insults. They had to be pulled part by the guys and still Sara fought to maul Millicent. She clawed the air and fought Chase to let her go, and that was how Eric found them.
"… Ahem, adult figure in the area," said Eric.
The fight froze and everyone looked over at Eric, having never seen him before. All except those in Harry's DADA club. Eric shook his head and sighed, knowing he had to be an adult.
"She bit me!" Millicent spat.
"He punched me!" Malfoy sniveled.
"I'm bleeding!" the third guy cried.
"You're excused to go to the nurse… anyone else?" Eric asked.
"Nah, were good," replied the Americans after briefly examining their multiple injuries.
Eric raised an eyebrow as the Slytherin crawled off to go lick their wounds. "Yes, well. I'm sure I'll see you all in class today, as punishment for fighting how about you hand out these maps."
"Will do."
Meanwhile
Harry, who was staring at the above paragraph and wondering why this story was moving so fast, sat down at the breakfast table where he was pleased to see that Eric had sent him a note saying that he was cleared to teach and would be doing so starting today. Sara, Mike, and Chase were running around throwing maps in the air. Sara's 'savage kicks' as she called them, turned out to have a comfort time limit and after ten minutes she was hading out maps while Mike chartered her around on his back.
Neville entered briefly, covered from head to toe in twigs and dirt. He hadn't been at the dorm room in two days and spent all his free time in the greenhouse. Neville grabbed some toast and headed up to change and take a shower before classes. Rosemary entered shortly after him, yawning and hurrying to do something with her hair. It seemed the morning rituals had been preformed and thus a crappy day was inevitable. Still, it was the first day n two weeks where he wouldn't have to grade papers.
The day wasn't as bad as Harry first assumed. All the substitutes, who had been delivering lectures auctioneer style and tests in rapid fire procession in order to impress the real teachers, were now reviewing so classes were a hundred percent easier. Then came the DADA class that everyone had been waiting for. They climbed the steps and Harry noticed that people seemed to get antsier as they climbed. Finally, after a ridiculously long limb in which many people swore never to move again, a door appeared. Harry, who had known to pace himself, was in front so he opened the door and stepped inside the classroom with Hermione and Ron dragging themselves in behind him.
There was more light in the room now, though it was either created but a fireplace or cascaded in through a window behind the desk that revealed full moon. No one quite understood the full moon as it had been just after lunch when they'd began the climb. Harry, Ron, and Hermione chose seats near the front as they liked Eric, though everyone else who wasn't in Harry's DADA club skirted around the back of the room and barely managed to force themselves into the chairs. As the class murmured loudly, pointing around the room as they did so, Harry, Ron, and Hermione took the time to whisper about… well, you know what they were discussing, if you don't then you're new and I'd like to say welcome, please read chapters 1-5 before this one.
A door faded into existence in the far right corner or the room, near the front. It opened with a would-be eerie creak had Harry not known it was human, and Professor Draven made his entrance. It was obvious he'd done it a lot that day and thus knew what they were thinking. He was dressed in an eighteenth century nobelman's outfit, and cape. His eyes were half lidded and he seemed above them all in some way. Harry heard the familiar gasps from the girls and then they all leaned forward in unison. Professor Draven faced his students and scanned through each isle taking in each face, though he was silent, and so was the class.
"Welcome, class," began the Professor, his voice intriguing and his smile just managing to conceal his fangs. Extending his hand out in a theatrical introduction motion he said, "My name is professor Draven and this is advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts. By being here you have shown me you have what it takes to accept and defend yourselves against the dark arts… No I want you to prove it to me!" He had his wand out and firing a spell within the blink of an eye.
Harry, who had moments ago been too exhausted to move, leapt to his feet and cast a shield spell. He yelled for the rest of the class to move and tried to return fire as Eric fired out another attack. Harry shoved his shield out at the curse, deflecting it and fired out at Eric, who cast a cancellation spell.
"Enough!" he lowered his wand and a calmly pleased look spread across is face. "Good," he said slowly. "The goal of this class is for all of you to have the same response time under any circumstance. I don't wish to make you all paranoid and stressed, but the truth is that Voldemort – stop that!- Voldemort is back and if you want to survive, well, Harry is living proof of what you need to do in order to survive."
After the class started blinking and breathing again, they all took their seats. Eric set back upon his desk and waited for them to calm down.
"Now, another rule is not to judge based on anything except character," he spoke. "Name a creature you view as evil."
"Ogre, Troll, Chimera, demon!" The class erupted with shuts of creatures until Eric heard the one he was waiting for.
"Vampire."
"Ah, but why?" he asked.
"I read Dracula; and in the bible there is a paragraph about creatures that are cursed to fear the light, feed upon the life force of others, and roam the earth forever."
"Ah yes, but as there are fallen ones among the angels, there are fallen ones among the demons," he smiled and at that moment the entire room was met with a kind smile and eyes that that sparkled with the simple wish of being accepted.
The class was silent again. The individual standing before them was more impressive than scary. After giving the students a few minutes to reflect upon the matter, Eric continued.
"In this class I will respect you as adults so long as you act like an adult. This means you must be responsible for your actions. If you don't come to class, it's not a loss to me, but it will be your responsibility to make up notes, homework, and tests. Now, as you'll be working together and this is a mixed class so most of you might have not met one another. So, let's see…"
He snapped his fingers and a scroll of parchment appeared in a puff (the magic dragon, heh, heh.) of smoke. "Gracing us from Hufflepuff is Rosalyn and Jeffery. Joining us from Ravenclaw we have Robin, Anna, Nathaniel, William, Nigel, and Desdemona. Representing Gryffindor we have Hermione, Neville, Ron, Harry Sara, Mike, and Chase-"
"Gay!" coughed one of the Slytherin in the back of the room who everyone recognized as the Snape miniature.
"I'm going to rip of your head and spit down your throat if you direct another comment towards me or my friends!" Sara hissed, and no one doubted that she' do it as her finely manicured nails were long and very sharp… and pink at that moment.
"It was his choice to be a fairy, he'll have to live with the consequences," Malfoy snobed back.
Sara was silent and motionless… for about three second before she suddenly leapt from her chair and pounced on Malfoy, who was screaming like a girl by this time. The class was in an uproar and Eric, having heard the comment, snapped into action… or so he would have had there not been something in his eye preventing him from seeing. (Ya gotta love him!)
"Sara!" Chase snapped, rising slowly out of his chair.
Sara stopped and looked back at him, hands firmly clasped around Malfoy's neck, her razor sharp nails longing to rip and tear and maul and kill and maim and slaughter and… whoa, I need counseling. "Yes?"
"Get off him."
With a sweet smile and perky shrug, Sara released her death grip and skipped off to her seat. Chase had his wand out as Malfoy moved to attack, Crabbe and Goyle right beside him.
"Well, if it's a fairy you want…" Chase sneered and fired out a transfiguring charm he'd been working on since his first year at school.
In an instant the spell hit the trio's clothing and everyone who had seen Neville's book, which was everyone except the Slytherin, exploded with laughter. Malfoy was dressed in a lovely pink outfit complete with tights, unicorn sparklies, and rainbow fairy wings. His short skirt was frilly and ballerina-ish. The top was flowy and showy and everything you'd expect a fairy outfit to be… if said fairy happened to be a four year old girl. There was a tiara in his hair, sparkling distractingly, and his wand was an exact replica of the one the good witch has in The Wizard of Oz.
Goyle had a violet inspired design that included a giant flower hat that, try as he may, he couldn't pull off his head. The oh tho manthculin (say it with a wrist flick and a coy smile to match the stereo type,) blouse had ruffled sleeves and was lavender in color… like it could be lavender in anything else… except scent. The skirt was another flower, its leaves thankfully sufficient in covering what no one wanted to ever see without loads of therapy afterwards. White tights and curly little purple shoes to match Malfoy's pink ones.
Modeling the flowing ballroom of shimmering rainbow colors that most girls have seen on the Princess Moonfire tapes of way long ago. (yes, way long ago is a time, it's like yesteryear only… way long ago.) And yes, ladies, they were all wearing corsets. Ah, sweet torture. Striking what now looked like power puff girls poses, Malfoy and goons blinked a few times, before trying to attack. Eric, however, having 'removed' the pesky nothing from his eye and instructed everyone to take their seats.
"Change us back!" Malfoy demanded loudly.
"Why is it you three are dressed in costumes?" Eric asked, looking thoroughly irritated.
"They're always dressed like that," Desdemona piped in, not caring that she was barely two feet from them or that their desk was behind hers.
"Yes, well there is a dress code," Eric muttered. "Please take your-"
"CHANGE US BACK!"
"I can't as I'm not sure what spell he has used and the only thing I could do might remove your clothing and I can't subjugate the rest of the class to that, if you wish to be turned back then I suggest you apologize to Mr-"
"No fucking way!"
"I don't want that, I'll settle for an apology," Chase whispered, causing Mike and Sara to snicker uncontrollably.
"Well then I suggest you sit down," Eric instructed, walking back to the front of the room. "Or I shall send you up to the headmaster's office."
"I'll tell my dad!"
"Oh my God, he sounds like me!" Sara gasped. "I'll tell daddy, I say that all the time!"
"Yeah, but you're a princess," Mike reasoned.
"So is he by the looks of it," Sara snickered.
"Nope, a queen," grinned Chase.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BLOODY YANKS!"
"Ding, I'm sorry but I've heard enough," Eric stepped in between the two groups. "If you'll please head to the headmaster's office."
After a lot of bitching, moaning, whining and growling, the trio headed out and to the headmaster's office where everyone was hoping the Headmaster had a camera and enough sense to use it.
"Heelow!"
"WHAT IS THAT?" Ron demanded.
"I sleep all day, I fly at night. I have no feathers to aid my flight," chanted Eric.
"What!"
"Look up," Harry instructed.
The entire class looked to the ceiling where two bats were visible. The class began murmuring amongst themselves, staring and pointing at the bats.
"… I read a book on Vampires," a girl in the back stated. "Dracula. He could change into a bat."
"Wow, those bats up there, are they your family?"
"In a way, but no, that bat can not turn human, and if he can then he's been hiding that from me and he's gravely in danger because he is a dizzy soul and would get a DUI at least once a week."
The class laughed and Eric continued his speech.
"There are rules in this class that you all must follow. Be on time, laugh at my jokes," he said as he walked through the rows. "Be nice to your classmates, turn in your homework… I'm just kidding, I don't give homework." He stopped behind Desdemona and peered over her shoulder for a few minutes. "Oh, and another thing, all caricatures of me must be in this pose," he struck a super hero pose and continued. "I must warn you, beware of bat droppings-"
"What!"
"Relax, it's when-"
Though they all discovered exactly what bat droppings were for Mortimer lost his footing and came tumbling down. As usual, a force field prevented any damage and Mortimer simply stretched and looked around as if just noticing them.
"Heelow," he yawned cutely.
A wave of aww's flooded from the girls and intrigue hmph's from the guys. Mortimer walked across the desk and into Sara's bag, where he went to sleep again.
"Like I said, he's a dizzy soul," Eric nodded as if that explained everything. "He'll usually be up but he had a busy night."
"What's up with the other one?" Mike asked, pointing to the other bat.
"That's fake… it's a teddybat," Eric explained with a shrug that proved he found nothing wrong with that.
"Where'd you get such an adorable bat?"
"Oh? Didn't you know?" Eric re-struck his hero pose. "I am… Batman!"
Robin jumped up next to him and struck a matching pose. "And I am… getting sick of all these dumb jokes, Eve."
(Hey! Shut up or you die in chapter seven!)
"You suck."
(I do not I – oh god… I really do need counciling.)
So began what would turn out to be the most enjoyable class of the year. Later there were pictures circulating though the halls as even though Dumbledore hadn't had a camera, Lee Jordan did. Eric told anyone who questioned him about the matter that he hadn't seen any attack. "Mr. Malfoy just jumped up and began demanding to be changed back, though the rest of the students insisted that he always dressed that was and was just looking for attention." Every student in the school knew that was a lie but not one of them was ready to say otherwise.
Snape wasn't happy as Harry had told them about how Eric was pretending to hit on the potions master and this Snape could not walk through the halls without someone commenting on how mean he was being to Eric.
"And after he sent you such lovely flowers!"
Severus was unable to do anything to stop this as the majority of the students adored Professor Draven and he was a favorite among the faculty as well. No matter how much trouble Malfoy's dad tried to cause, there was plenty more parents saying they wanted Eric to stay as they were just glad to see a DADA teacher that loved his job and his students. His impressive teaching record helped matters along as the school in Brazil was singing his praises.
Professor Draven encouraged them all to be cliché's. "Be a walking cliché, it's better than being an individual." This was a joke because being such a cliché made him an individual. Mortimer was definately a dizzy soul who loved cheese, his teddy-bat, strawberry lip gloss, and having fun. He enjoyed switching people's hats and was usually around the class unless he was pouting, in which case he'd be in a corner with his back to them and his nose in the air.
"Give me my hat!" Sara yelped, running down the hall one day. "That's Prada!"
"Heelow!" Mortimer cried.
"What's he doing?" Ron asked as the pair rushed past him.
"Probably going to find Prada and give her the hat back," Hermione giggled.
"Mor-tim-eeer!" Eric groaned, running after them to help Sara retrieve her hat.
"I'll give you some cheese!" Sara pleaded.
"No!" Eric shouted. "Never negotiate with a terrorist."
"Mortimer!"
This was becoming ritual through the halls so no one thought twice about it and continued their daily lives. Hermione was happy because they could now go to the library to look up things about Salazar and if they were caught, Eric would say she was doing extra credit. His rule was: I lie for you, you lie for me. They found out that the student who'd been attacked was a seventh year and the head of the History of Magic club. Though he kept claiming he had no recollection of the entire day he'd been attacked. Ginny tried to determine if he'd been possessed or not, but there were no gaps other than that day.
So they'd reach yet another dead end, and so our story continues. Who will be attacked next? When will Harry Potter find out what the fuck is going on? Will Mortimer ever get his cheese? Will Sara ever get her hat? Tune in next time! Same bat story, same bat website.
