PART XIV: FORCED GLUTTONY
"Those children and their Net Navis are really starting to get on my nerves," Kenishiro's irritated voice rasped through the URA Internet's void, directing itself at two Adver Metools. "I'm trusting on you two, the Ultimate Tag Team Duo, to take them out."
"And if we win?" squeaked one Adver Metool.
"Then…you will be rewarded."
"So what will we win?" shouted the other Adver Metool in a harsh, condescending tone.
"Ummm…don't worry. I will have the entire battle to think of an appropriate prize," Kenishiro stuttered, glad that he used what wit he had to get himself out of that mess.
"So it's settled!" squeaked the first Adver Metool. "We'll destroy them! Wheeee!"
"Win or lose," muttered the second Metool, "none of that matters as long as I can destroy something!"
"I'm counting on the both of you…" Kenishiro rasped as his face gradually materialized into the world's most evil grin. The two Metools disappeared as they teleported themselves into the Internet, and he continued as he designated their names:
"…Angry and Hungry."
AT THE MAHA CURRY ICHIBAN…
It was business as usual at Japan's number one curry restaurant. Madoi puckered up her lips as she layered her face with makeup. Elec was going through the financial records, trying desperately to find a missing, unaccounted for 16 yen. Mahajorama was busy developing another secret recipe with his assistant Dekao. Finally, Hinoken was busy helping Mahajorama by using Fire Man to power the stove.
Yet something else was amiss. Somewhere in the far corner of the restaurant, two fellow Net Battlers were busy discussing the forthcoming of a terrible evil.
"Netto," Enzan murmured grimly as he looked across the table at his intellectually challenged comrade, "I have something of grave importance to speak about with you."
"Mrrrrfff mr mrrrrffff," Netto replied, nodding his head while chugging down his fifth bowl of Maha Ichiban's Super Secret Recipe Curry.
"If my reports are correct…and they ALWAYS are…Adver Man is sending not one, but two Adver Metools to do his bidding. If my reports continue to be correct, then this duo must be the legendary Metool Bonnie and Clyde, known as Angry and Hungry."
"That can't be! I am the only one here who can be called Hungry!" shouted Netto. "Mahajorama! Madoi! Elec! Hinoken! Another bowl!"
"Yes, Netto," all four of them sighed in unison.
"Anyway," Enzan continued with a look of puzzled annoyance adorning his face, "it appears that we're in quite a rut here. Hungry is the Ultimate Shield, said to be able to absorb any enemy attack, and Angry is the Ultimate Destroyer. Netto, you should already see where I'm going with this."
"Mrrrggg arrrrmmmfff!"
"It would appear that the two of them have some method of destroying their opponent that is nearly fool-proof…NETTO! SWALLOW YOUR FOOD!"
Netto almost choked himself to death swallowing the gargantuan amount of curry residing in his mouth, but amazingly still lived. "Sorry Enzan," he replied, proceeding to boorishly pick his teeth right in front of his comrade. "So, Angry and Hungry, eh?"
"That's right. Take a look at this."
Enzan unveiled a small book that, once opened, revealed a set of Navis with outrageously huge, muscular bodies. Once Netto began looking at them, he wondered how Rockman would look with bodies like theirs…and shuddered.
"This," Enzan said while pointing at the book, "is a Hall of Fame registry of all the Navis who ever came close to succeeding in destroying Angry and Hungry. The two of them were so conceited that they developed a record of every opponent they defeated in battle. Think of it as those World War pilots who tallied their kills on the bodies of their planes."
"Look at their bodies! Are you sure this isn't a muscle-building catalog?"
"Indeed, quite sure. Now, Netto, take a look at their stats."
"Stamina and life points are mediocre…and yet defense and attack power are completely off the charts! What makes you think we stand a chance, looking at bodies like that? Rockman doesn't have anywhere near that amount of strength yet!"
"That is why…you should see THIS. The one who came the closest to destroying them."
Enzan flipped the page to the very last one, where Netto saw something he had never expected to see, not in this book. He squinted closely at the one who had come the closest to destroying Angry and Hungry.
A skinny Net Navi.
"He's…almost normal!" cried Netto as he tightly grasped the little book. "Then there is a way…even for one who has developed a body like Rockman's!"
"I should warn you, however," Enzan continued grimly while at the same time surprised that such an intelligent comment had come from Netto, of all people, "that I've heard the technique he used…carries an immense burden, and to all who fail to use it properly, a tragic end. And this Navi…he met that tragic end."
"His life points…his stamina…they're absolutely off the charts! So what does this mean? What kind of technique did he use?" Netto asked, leaning over the table with nervous anxiety.
Enzan closed his eyes dramatically and sipped his green tea, donning a serious expression. When the tip of the cup left his mouth and he opened his eyes to speak, he said the four words Netto least expected to hear:
"…I have no idea."
Netto fell over anime-style, then got right back up and said, "Do you at least know the technique's name?"
"I've heard it was called…Forced Gluttony."
"All right, then it's time to learn Forced Gluttony. But first…"
Netto ran harder than he had ever run before, making his way to the bathroom. In Maha Ichiban's kitchen, all four staff members groaned in nervous anticipation of what they knew would happen. Enzan understood immediately what they were so afraid of, and got the heck out of there.
A COUPLA HOURS LATER…
"Netto…we've been at this for hours," Rockman complained as he destroyed yet another troop of virii. "What's the purpose of this training?"
"We have to develop your life points and defense!" Netto said in his determined tone while looking toward the sky for no particular reason. "We must tone you…so that you can use the technique, Forced Gluttony!"
"What kind of technique is that?"
"Heck, I don't even know!"
"Netto…forgive me for being this blunt, but you don't even know a lot of things. Oh well, as long as I get stronger in the end."
Netto continued to wonder, looking at Rockman destroying the virus troops and thinking, "Seriously, Enzan. What is Forced Gluttony…and what is this about a tragic end?"
ELSEWHERE IN JAPAN…
"What?" asked Kenishiro in a nervous tone. "The young one, the operator of Rockman.EXE, has mentioned…Forced Gluttony?"
"Indeed," replied Angry, a lot more stern than usual. Kenishiro gasped and nearly fell over in his seat, clutching his head as he realized just how horrifying this new development would be for his ambitions.
"Get a hold of yourself, Grand Master!" Hungry shouted as he stepped forward to reassure Kenishiro.
"This technique…" Kenishiro huffed, "…it is the very one that threatened to scandalize virii everywhere…and almost destroyed the both of you years ago! But…how could that boy KNOW?"
"Tell us what to do, Grand Master!" Angry shouted desperately. "What do we have to do in order to fight this technique?"
"There is nothing to do…the only this left is to destroy Rockman before he learns Forced Gluttony…and ruins everything!"
MEANWHILE, AT MAHA ICHIBAN…AGAIN…
Meiru sat with her arms folded as she pondered Netto's fate, then turned to him and asked, "So, Netto-kun, what's this about Forced Gluttony?"
"I'm guessing it has something to do with forcing food into your opponent," Netto said, scratching his chin. Enzan and Yaito, meanwhile, were on their last bowl of curry and were reaching for the last bite when their forks intertwined.
"Mahajorama," Netto asked, "as an expert chef, tell me: what are the various ways of fighting over food with an opponent?"
Mahajorama scratched his chin and replied, "Well, my friend, there is…"
With that, he looked over at Enzan and Yaito, fighting with their forks over who would get to eat the last bite, as if they were in a medieval sword fight.
Mahajorama continued, "There's fighting over your opponent's food."
Enzan noticed an opening in the sword fight, and tried to grab the last bite of curry.
"There's grabbing your opponent's food."
Enzan was about to put the bite into his mouth, when Yaito grabbed his neck and started choking him as he attempted to pry her grip apart.
"And finally, there is keeping your opponent away from his food."
Enzan gulped down the last bite as Yaito screamed tearfully, "Arrrggghhh! You fat-loving fiend Enzan-sama!"
"…Aaaannnnd that's it," Madoi finished, a sweat drop adorning her forehead as she took in the absurdity of fighting over a single bite of curry.
"Umm…could you list those again?" Enzan asked as he elatedly gulped down the last bite.
"What…what kind of horrible technique…is this…" Netto murmured, his expression grim and serious. "Is there…no other way…to beat Hungry and Angry?"
"N-Netto-kun?" asked Meiru, with a concerned look on her face.
"If this is the great truth behind Forced Gluttony…then the technique itself is more horrible than I ever dreamed!"
"What do you mean?" Count Elec asked, taking a sudden interest in the situation.
"Think about it," Netto said grimly. "The best way to prepare a human to be a glutton is to force-feed him and completely deny him any exercise whatsoever."
"We should know," Hinoken laughed. "It happens in our shop all the time!"
"So then…the principle of Forced Gluttony…" Enzan continued, "…hence the name Forced…is force-feeding and immobilizing one's opponent…until he explodes."
"And this is done," Yaito murmured while lowering her head, "by transferring your own Health Points to the opponent, thereby force-feeding and immobilizing him."
"No wonder the technique called for so much stamina and health points," continued Hinoken. "And so, what's the ultimate tragic end, the one that this Navi suffered?"
The four of them closed their eyes and clenched their fists, thinking there must be another way, and yet being forced to face the tragic fact that there was not. Looking up at the members of the former World Three, Enzan said, "Have you ever heard the expression about never biting the hand that feeds you? Whenever a glutton is still unsatisfied after a hefty meal, he'll resort to the most desperate means of getting that food, even if it means…biting the hand that feeds him."
"And so…" all four staff members of Maha Ichiban said with grim expressions, "that means…the ultimate tragic end…"
"That's right," Netto muttered. "The ultimate tragic end of those who fail to develop enough Life Points and stamina to properly use the technique of Forced Gluttony…"
With this, Netto closed his eyes dramatically and limped his body over, just before uttering the most ominous death in the history of Net Battles:
"The ultimate tragic end…IS BEING EATEN TO DEATH!"
END PART XIV
