PART XX: BATTLE FOR MY PICTURES! SHARK SOUL SLUR VS. HAPPY

DENSAN CITY SHARO MILITARY BASE…

"Where is he?" shouted Iriya as his eyes blazed across every monitor and screen at the Command Center's disposal, his friend Laika standing beside him and doing pretty much the same thing. "Our sensors aren't picking up anything! That madman Happy the Metool's spreading humiliating pictures of everyone and we're helpless to stop him!"

"Our only hope is that now that he must manually deliver his goods to EVERY address that he needs," Laika continued, "but…with his ability to call forth the data of any battle chip he wants, thanks to the MARBLED, we can only sit by and watch!"

"The only thing we can do…" Iriya murmured while lowering his head ominously, "…is to leave it in that powerful but kinda stupid boy's hands…"

THE URA INTERNET REALM…

Slur had called an emergency meeting with her contacts in the real world. She knew what she had to do to defeat Happy the Adver Metool, yet she was emotionally unprepared to take on this utterly gratuitous task.

Suddenly, she heard a Net Navi materialize from behind and swiftly turned around to prepare to attack who she thought would be Adver Man. Fortunately for her, it was only the Net Agent contact she had agreed to meet in the real world: Sharkman, followed by his slightly overweight and ridiculous operator: Commander Beef!

"WTF!" Slur cried, placing additional exaggerated emphasis on the F. She stared quizzically at Commander Beef's communications link, a ridiculous image of a man wearing a shark-like mask and ridiculous cape, emanated on a holographic screen hovering in mid-air. Taking in the sheer absurdity of it all, Slur huffed, "You…do you actually go outside looking like that?"

"Yes," Beef replied quite matter-of-factly as Slur wondered what his children would grow up to act like. Pointing toward the sky with determination, Beef continued, "Now then, it is not my intention to be rude, but I have a very busy schedule of Net Agent-ing to do. I understand Happy has to be stopped, so we really should do this as quickly as possible."

"Agreed," Slur replied, closing her eyes. "With that said…I would like to introduce you to a photographer and artist friend of mine. I don't know his real name, but he introduced himself as N2-O Night, and he's going to help us."

Another screen materialized in mid-air, revealing a picture of another human that was blacked out and spoke in an altered voice for reasons of privacy: "If all of you don't mind, I probably should make these pretty quickly. I'm also bogged down photographing several others to fulfill some requests for pictures."

"I understand," Slur replied, blushing madly. "So…er…Sharkman…are you ready?"

"Hoo-boy baby! Am I ever!" Sharkman replied in an overly exaggerated enthusiastic tone that warranted a sweat drop from Slur.

"Very well…SHARK SOUL UNISON!"

The soul unison complete, the photography session began.

DENSAN CITY TOWN PLAZA…

Three thousand humiliating photos, audio clips, and videos released. Over one million homes plugged. Raucous laughter echoing throughout the whole of Japan. Not bad for one hour of non-stop media work.

Without a doubt, Happy the Adver Metool was making incredible progress. He opened his checklist to see who was next on the Doomsday Schedule for Happy's Humiliation. "Let's see. Now that I've done most of what I had to do…I still have a handful more to do! And my next target will be…"

His red, beady eyes glazed over his list and stopped at the next name to be checked off:

"…SLUR.EXE!"

"Oh, is it ME you're looking for?" Slur shouted as she materialized behind Happy.

"Oh?" Happy grinned, turning around to face his next potential victim. "And how did you come here to find me?"

"I emailed myself here."

"Hmmm…yes…well, all your efforts are come to naught! Now, prepare to be humiliated! HUMILIATING PHOTO TECHNIQUE! SLUR WEARING A STUPID KIMONO, DESIGNED BY SLAPPY THE METOOL!"

He prepared to open a large image file, until a madly blushing Slur stopped him and said, "Wait! Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I'm the villain here! Of course I want to do it, stupid!"

"Well now, I only ask because I have something here, infinitely more gratifying, that I think you will like!" Slur said with a cocky expression as she opened a large folder, creating a window full of rather gratuitous thumbnail-size photos as she lowered her head, knowing she would do something she would regret for the rest of her life as a Navi. Opening all the thumbnails into glorious full-size vision, she continued:

"And now, Happy, I'll reveal the ultimate weakness of your technique…HUMILIATING PHOTO TECHNIQUE COUNTER! GIRLIE PICTURES OF ME IN MY SHARK SOUL UNISON BIKINI!"

Happy stood still for a minute. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation as his eyes mundanely glazed over the Shark Soul pictures, his eyes attentive yet completely without expression. All pictures of Shark Soul Slur hovered before him, and yet here he was, staring at them with a poker face.

"What's the matter?" Slur asked, a cocky expression adorning her face. "Don't you want them?"

"NO!" screamed a familiar voice as a mysterious cloaked, bat-headed figure rushed into the plaza at near-light speed. "I DO!" The cloaked figure emerged and Slur recognized it immediately.

"F-FORTE!" cried Slur. "What are YOU doing here?"

"YOU WILL GIVE ME THOSE SHARK SOUL PICTURES!" screamed Forte, his face red and his nose snorting at full blast with sheer unadulterated lust.

"Stay out of this, you idiot!" shouted Slur as she tried to prevent Forte from accessing her files. Unfortunately, Forte was not the only person willing to take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

"What's this?" wondered Aqua Soul Rockman aloud as he turned the corner. Obviously, Aqua Man was able to convince him that flirting with Roll wasn't really that big a deal. That said, as soon as Rockman's eyes lay on the pictures, his eyes widened, and his face split, revealing the lustful aura he had revealed in the picture that Happy had once taken of him flirting with Roll.

"I…I WILL HAVE THEM!" squealed Aqua Soul Rockman, rushing to the scene. "MY HEART IS BURNING FOR SHARK SOUL GIRLIES! YOU WILL SURRENDER THEM NOW!"

Suddenly, at that point, all battle activity ceased as Happy the Metool expanded to the size of a small office building, and for some odd reason, grew long and twisted horns at the peak of his helmet.

"What…what is this power?" Forte murmured, as he and Aqua Soul Rockman watched in awe. "It's…it's off the charts…I've never seen such levels!"

"Those pictures…" Happy boomed in a deep and authoritative voice, "…ARE MINE!"

"So much greater than his normal Humiliator power levels…" Slur wondered aloud in awe, "…his LUST power levels could lay waste to the entire cluster of the Japanese Islands!"

"Where are you, Slur!" boomed Happy, shaking the ground with the forcefulness of his deep voice. "GIVE ME THE SLUR SHARK SOUL PICTURES OF THE WORLD!"

"Now what, genius?" shouted Aqua Soul Rockman as he turned to face Slur's direction, but with his eyes transfixed on something else…

"Umm…Rockman?" Slur moaned. "Those are my picture files. I'm over HERE."

"There's no time to discuss details!" Rockman shouted as his face continued to redden and hot steam bellowed from his nostrils as he glued his eyes to Slur's pictures. "What are we going to do!"

"Hold it…I have a plan!" Slur perked up. "You want my pictures, Happy? Then have at them!"

She transferred the files to Happy, and then something unexpected happened. Happy accepted the pictures and reverted to his normal form, but his body began to dissipate as wires emanated from his body and entangled him.

"What…a VIRUS!" cried Happy as his data dissipated into the URA Internet. "You sneaky little devil…hiding malicious code in these pictures…"

"Trust me," Forte said, pointing upwards in an intellectual fashion. "I know from experience that when downloading pictures like that, this happens more often than you'd think."

"And what kind of EXPERIENCE do you know that from?" Rockman asked with his eyebrow raised, as Forte blushed and plugged out.

"I don't care anymore…" Happy murmured as he made an intensely satisfied grin. "Now that I have these pictures…I can die satisfied!"

"Ah, so I see!" Rockman shouted as he dispersed the Soul Unison, leaving Aquaman standing behind him. "Slur…you hid a virus in the files!"

"You figured that out on your own?" Slur muttered under her breath, and then spoke loud enough for Rockman to hear: "Indeed. And with Happy destroyed, so were the pictures…"

"WHAAAAATTTT!" screamed Rockman.

"You see, the pictures themselves were encoded with the virus, so they had to be deleted permanently in order to…" BONK!

Slur was knocked unconscious as Rockman ran off sobbing his heart out into the distant horizon, his heart longing endlessly for more Shark Soul pictures.

END PART XX