PART XXI: THE ULTIMATE VIRUS, BAKA-NEKO
Happy had continued to dissipate until there was nothing left. Slur had regained consciousness and plugged out of the real world. No one truly knows where Forte had gone. As for Aquaman and Rockman, they too had returned to the realm of the Internet. Sadly, Happy did not take Slur's virus without giving something back in exchange…the deadliest computer virus known to exist…
THE DAY AFTER HAPPY'S DELETION…
"Ugggghhhh…" Netto murmured. "Wha…what time is it?"
He stared at his alarm clock, and suddenly his face split. All bloodflow to his head ceased and he became an incredibly pale blue. Midterm exams at Densan City Middle School were scheduled to begin at eight o'clock sharp this morning.
And there Netto lay, completely stupefied, staring at his alarm clock, which now read, "10:00 AM."
"IOVERSLEPTBYTWOHOURS!" Netto screamed, once again entering Super Hyper Turbo Mode. At this point, Rockman would usually provide a slight reprimanding scold, but for some reason, today he was unusually silent about the whole matter. Perhaps he had learned it no longer worked. Or perhaps it was SOMETHING ELSE…
"Rockmanwhydidn'tyouwakemeupwhenIhadtobeatschoolbyeight!" Netto huffed, veins popping all over his body as he unleashed his full Turbo Boost Power.
Rockman sheepishly and quite strangely muttered, "Unnnhhh…Netto…NYYYAAAAAA…"
"THISISNOTIMETOBEYAWNINGROCKMAN! I'MLATEAGAIN!" Netto cried as he screamed throughout his room at light speed, slowing down for a minute when he accidentally realized he had put his underwear over his head. Mrs. Hikari knew the routine, for she, too, had entered Turbo Mode, but not before heaving a disappointed and slightly irritated sigh. As Netto ran out the door after a millisecond peck, he rushed to school with a flaming trail and sonic boom in his wake, threatening to collapse the entire space-time continuum.
Finally, Netto burst into the school, but for some reason everyone in the building had emptied out. He walked casually over to Meiru and Yaito and inquired quizzically, "Um…what's the problem here?"
"Strangely enough, they called us out for a fire emergency, something that suddenly started a few minutes ago, like around ten," Meiru shrugged.
"And why's that?" Netto wondered. "Did Hinoken come by and throw another cigarette in the Recycled Paper bin?"
"Umm…Netto?" Yaito murmured with her eyebrow raised, "…Look behind you."
Netto did exactly that, and saw that a fire squad had been assigned to neutralize the flaming trail he had left in his wake. He grinned, impressed at his own power. The last time he had accessed his Super Hyper Turbo Netto powers, the fire department didn't even have to be called to put out his flames. Clearly, he had exceeded his limit.
At this point, one of his classmates ran up to him and shouted, "Are YOU Netto Hikari?"
"Last time I checked," he shrugged. The classmate responded by turning to everyone else, and shouting, "…HOORAY FOR NETTO HIKARI!"
Everyone present, even the teachers, joined in a rousing cheer. The classmates were clearly glad that midterm exams had to be rescheduled due to his emergency, and the teachers were quite gratified that they had one more day to not spend worrying about papers to be graded. Netto jumped up and down with glee, shouting, "Isn't this great, Rockman? Slacking off…PAYS OFF!"
"Umm…yes, Netto…nya…"
Netto suddenly froze in his tracks, for he recognized that fatal utterance, "NYA," from days long past. He slowly moved his eyes down to his PET and stepped back in shock as his heart skipped a beat. For there in his PET, Rockman had suddenly been infected with a Neko Virus.
"H-how could this have happened?" screamed Netto as he clutched his head. "It must have been during our battle with Happy! He must have exchanged Slur's virus…and left us with the Neko Virus!"
"That's precisely right, Netto," Yuuichirou Hikari said as he placed his hand on Netto's shoulder and pointing to the Snuggles Diapers limousine waiting at the school gate. "I think you'll need to come with us. I have something important to tell you."
"Pops?" Netto said as he whipped around to face his father. "When did you get here? And what could be more important than school…"
At that point, Netto thought about what he was saying and rushed into Snuggles Diapers' corporate limousine as his cheering classmates and teachers waved goodbye.
SNUGGLES DIAPERS, SECRET HEADQUARTERS OF THE NET SAVIORS…
"What is it, Dad?" Netto inquired as he rushed into the Net Saviors' control room. His eyes glazed across the computer monitors…until they became transfixed on a single monitor, on which Slur, Forte, and Aquaman were seen, cowering in embarrassment and cursing Happy the Metool. As they got up to greet Netto, he could see that they, too, had been infected with the Neko Virus. Shuuko Kido was in the building too, and greeted Netto with an enormous glomp.
"Netto…it's terrible!" Shuuko cried as she continued to embrace him.
"Hehe…n-not really…" Netto blushed, feeling two soft cushion-like objects pressing firmly against his chest.
"WHAT IS THIS?" Dark Meiru-chan spontaneously muttered from a computer screen, after which Shuuko let go of Netto, after which Dark Meiru reverted to Normal Meiru and all was well again. Not for their Net Navis, however…
"How can I look like my powerful self like this, nyaaa?" Neko-Slur murmured, rubbing her Neko ears.
"I dunno, these ears are pretty cool, nyaaa!" Neko-Aquaman squealed happily as he rubbed his own ears.
"WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP, NYYYAAAA?" Neko-Forte growled angrily. "You're all being so STUPID, nyaaa! Can't you see this whole Neko thing is so out of character, nya?"
"So…everyone who was at the battle became infected!" Netto said, pointing in the air in an intellectual fashion.
"WELL DUHHHH!" shouted everyone listening in unison.
"Ahem…that aside…" Meijin said as he cleared his throat, "there's something about this Neko Virus that you should know. It's…er…quite different than the last strain, and it is apparently known as…Ultimate Virus Baka-Neko."
"The Baka-Neko Virus?" Netto gasped. "I…I thought it was only an urban legend!"
"It used to be, and was promoted to be only that so the public would never learn of its vile existence," Yuuichirou muttered. "It is a very old virus program that your grandfather, Dr. Light, had to seal away permanently in order to prevent its power from being unleashed on the world. Unfortunately, its power was obtained by Adver Man, who used it to construct the Ultimate Coding behind his five Adver Metools."
"You mentioned that Netto had already encountered the Neko Virus, nya," Slur perked up. "So how's this virus strain different from the last one-nya?"
"This…is only stage one," Meijin muttered. "There's another stage…but it needs a certain catalyst for it to activate properly."
As if by cue, a squealing voice shrieked: "AND THAT WOULD BE ME!"
Everyone in the building recognized the tone…it was Adver Man. Meijin looked on the ground and moaned, "Speak of the devil…"
"And the devil in question is me too!" Adver Man squealed gleefully as he jumped up and down quite stupidly. "Do you know what the second stage is?"
"NO!" Yuuichirou shouted in vain. "DON'T DO IT!"
"Gaahhhh ha ha!" Kenishiro's voice cackled over the intercom as Netto glared at the speaker in disgust. "The second stage is, in addition to having all of you remain in Neko form, you'll no longer have to end your sentences with Nyaaa, BUT…ADVER MAN GETS TO PUT ON YOU WHATEVER CURSES WE WANT!"
"NNOOOoooo…ooooohhh?" Netto cried, expecting something horrifying from Adver Man, but getting a vaguely puzzling statement instead.
Adver Man glanced across the computer monitors in the room while grimacing maniacally and wondering aloud, "Let's see…what curses shall we inflict today, master?"
"Gahaha…" Kenishiro cackled, then directed Adver Man to his first target. His goals clear, Adver Man shouted, "First of all…I'll start with YOU!"
He pointed at Neko-Rockman, and continued, "You shall be forced to wear your helmet upside down on your head!"
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!" Neko-Rockman screamed dramatically as the scenery panned away to reveal the sheer drama of his curse.
"YOU!" Adver Man shouted at Neko-Forte. "You will be an evil genius wannabe, who makes grandiose evil plans that ultimately always backfire and fail!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" Neko-Forte shouted, while secretly thinking he didn't mind his curse, as this was the way things usually worked out even when he was normal anyway.
"And…YOU!" Adver Man continued down the line, pointing at Neko-Slur. "You shall always have to compare things with other things!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Neko-Slur, not actually understanding what her curse meant.
"Finally…you," Adver Man said, pointing at Neko-Aquaman while tilting his head, wondering how a chubby little goldfish bowl got mixed up in the battle against Happy. "Kenishiro…what to you want to do with THIS one?"
"Hmmmm…I have the perfect curse! Here, Adver Man! Execute THIS!"
Kenishiro emailed a message to Adver Man, who giggled as he read it and jumped up and down with glee. He pointed at Neko-Aquaman and shouted, "And finally, YOU shall always have a lever on the side of your head that makes you flush the water from your head! And then you will barf out water from your mouth to fill it back up again! Now that I'm done…ALL CURSES ACTIVATE! SECRET PASSWORD: WHOOSH-WHOOSH, NEKKO-WOOT-WOOT! Activate the Ultimate Virus…BAKA-NEKO!"
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" Neko-Aquaman squealed, secretly thinking he was going to have fun with his curse.
"Aaaaaannnnd that's it," Adver Man and Kenishiro uttered simultaneously as they both logged out.
With that, Neko-Rockman's helmet disappeared and reappeared upside down on the top of his head. After taking a moment to fix up his "helmet hair," he tried to remove it, but to no avail. The curse was foolproof, and he was, unfortunately, a fool.
"You know," Neko-Slur wondered aloud as she scratched her chin, "…you remind me of a fashion magazine article I once read." Neko-Rockman looked at her, and she shrugged in response.
"Flush…BLLEEEAAHH! Flush…BLLEEEEAAHH! This is fun!" squealed Neko-Aquaman as he repeatedly pulled his head lever and flushed his own head, never once stopping to think his head was swimming in its own barf.
"The world is so full of pain and misunderstanding…" Neko-Forte moaned as he lowered his head and grinned maniacally. "…AND NOW I WILL ADD CHAOS AND DISORDER! Gaaahaaahaaa! Meet my new evil assistant…STONE MAN!"
With that, Neko-Forte picked up a random piece of ground that just happened to look like a stone, and then used his Dark Sword to carve a little happy face into it. "And now…" Forte continued ominously, "YOU WILL TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE THE CAT GOD FORTE!"
"Yours is the most stupid curse ever," Neko-Rockman murmured, temporarily forgetting how stupid HE looked with an upside-down helmet attached to his scalp.
"Indeed," Neko-Slur nodded. "You remind me of a friend that I once had."
"Flush…BLLEEEAAHH!" Neko-Aquaman continued, obviously too preoccupied to even care.
"How dare you insult Stone Man! Attack them, my minion!" Neko-Forte shouted, throwing him forcefully…but in the completely wrong direction. His so-called Stone Man was cast off a mile away from where it was really supposed to make contact, and crumbled into dust.
"Hah…he clearly was not powerful enough to be my minion…" Neko-Forte muttered disappointedly. "But never mind, for I shall find others!"
With this, he carved little happy faces into everything in his sight and logged out, but not before screaming, "Kill them all, my minions!"
Typically, nothing happened.
BACK AT SNUGGLES DIAPERS…
"Soooo…" Netto murmured unsurely, "how do we revert them back to normal?"
"There's only one person who knows that…" Meijin replied, "…and that would be Jasmine and Cardamom in Choina. You'll get your answers there."
"But don't they specialize in treating human and animal illnesses?" Shuuko asked with her eyebrow raised. "So how experienced are they in treating cyber illnesses?"
Yuuichirou started out dramatically, holding up four fingers with his right hand. "They have…"
Netto and Shuuko looked at him with gazes of wonderment as he continued,
"…FOUR HOURS OF EXPERIENCE!"
OUTSIDE SNUGGLES DIAPERS…
Netto Hikari and Shuuko Kido stood outside the Net Saviors' secret headquarters, waiting for the limousine to take them to the airport to take a flight to Choina. As they waited, Netto turned to Meiru and moaned ominously, "We're doomed, aren't we?"
Shuuko's eyes foretold an impending ill fate as she moaned, "Four hours worth of doom, to be exact."
"…That's what I thought."
And for the first time in a long while, they embraced each other and sobbed, but had to stop when Dark Meiru-chan spontaneously appeared and shouted:
"WHHHHAAAATTT?"
END PART XXI
