Thank you Mulder's Girl, Xdaigonstarx, Lou, ArafelSedai, Sonya Lars, and Faye for reviewing!
Okay, this chapter is a really long one, as promised, and will start getting things set in motion for the big ending. It contains references to the ending lines of "Never Again", but nothing that spoils the ep, I think.
Also, Lou, I am planning for this story to be nine chapters total. I am at the point where I have it pretty much planned out at the moment.
Chapter 7 – Blinded Date
Scully hung up her cell phone and sighed heavily. She already regretted being so harsh with Mulder, but part of her felt too angry to care or be inspired to do anything about it. She adjusted her seat and turned the key in the ignition. Suddenly, the passenger door opened and a tall man sat down in the seat, closing the door behind him and looking at her steadily.
"What do you want, Mulder?"
"Just to know what that was all about."
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean."
"Look, we both need time to cool down right now, but how about dinner tomorrow night? I feel like there are a lot of things that we need to talk out."
"You're right, Mulder. There are. But tomorrow night won't work. I have a date." She mentally kicked herself. She hadn't meant for the words to come out smugly.
"Oh," he replied. "Varrick?"
She nodded.
He nodded along with her. He wasn't used to being at a loss for words. After a few moments of awkward silence, Scully couldn't take it any more. "Look, I have to go, Mulder. Unless you need a ride home…?"
"No, I have my car. Scully, about your date… Well, I had just thought that maybe…"
She looked at him expectantly. The anger had left her by this point. She realized that if he said anything resembling what she hoped he might say, she would be completely swept away.
"Maybe… You know what, never mind. Now isn't the time, we're both tired and upset. I'll see you tomorrow morning."
With that, he left the car, leaving feelings of sadness mingling with the unspoken words that hung on the air. Scully closed her eyes and let her head bang against the back of her seat. She was upset again. Worse, from her point of view, she was well aware of the irrationality of her mood swings in the past two hours. Why I am feeling like this? Why am I reacting so strongly?
She began to drive home trying to shove the question out of her mind because she already knew the answer.
It was because of Mulder. It was always because of him.
The next morning, Scully walked into the basement office, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.
"Good morning," she said simply, keeping her voice atonal. After the restless tossing and turning and thinking of the previous night, she had decided to just let Mulder set the tone for the day.
He glanced up from his desktop, attempting to size her up in the same manner. "Good morning to you, too. Well, I guess it's good, anyways. It is dead hot today, and only bound to get worse. Seriously, I thought basements were supposed to be cool."
"Is that why we don't have air conditioning down here?" she queried, skeptically eyeing the dingy fan that slowly and ineffectively rotated back and forth. "Or does somebody up there just not like you?"
"A little of both I'd imagine."
"Oh."
He looked over at the clock. He knew that he would be treading on unsteady grounds with his next comment, but he couldn't resist. "So, I'm guessing that you are going to be wanting to leave work early today? You know, to prepare for your date." He couldn't help the hint of venom in his voice at that last word.
"Um, I suppose so."
"What's the guy's name again?"
"Lieutenant Varrick."
"Just Varrick? No first name?"
"Well, of course he has a first name."
"But you don't know what that name is, do you?"
She hesitated. "Well… no. Not yet, anyway."
He raised an eyebrow.
"Don't give me that look, Mulder. I know what I am doing."
"Whatever. It's your life."
She nodded affirmation. "It is my life."
"But it's my…" He paused and they looked at each other, neither sure of how to go on. Mulder abandoned the statement for the second time.
Instead, he cleared his throat and softened his tone. "How did we get back to this point, Scully? I mean, just two days ago…"
Another sentence hung in the air, never to be finished. "Well," he continued. "It feels like every time that we start to get close, one or the other pulls away. Why is that?"
"I don't know."
"Neither do I. Maybe we should both take some time to think about that."
She nodded slightly. She knew that he was right, but she felt too uncomfortable at the moment to follow his suggestion.
Too uncomfortable? she questioned herself. God, is that my excuse today? Why do I always do this? Why do I constantly push him away?
This thought process was stopped by another voice flashing through her head like a warning sign: Don't go there!
Going there would change everything for good, regardless of the consequences, and Scully wasn't sure that she was ready for that. She settled for the question: Why do I psychoanalyze myself so much?
Regardless of what was or was not going on in her head, though, it was indeed hot as hell in that room. She shrugged out of her jacket, thinking nothing of the fact that she was only wearing a tight, sleeveless top under it. She dragged her water bottle out of her desk and drained half of it in one gulp. She wiped her forehead and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, glancing over to see how her partner was faring.
Mulder had his eyes closed and his head leaning against the back of his chair. To anyone else he would have appeared to have fallen asleep, but Scully knew that this was not the case. He was just deep in thought. A thin line of perspiration had arisen on his brow. He too had removed his jacket by this point, and had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, unconsciously emphasizing the outline of his muscular arm. His tie was loosened and he had opened the top button of his clean white dress shirt.
Scully watched intently despite herself as he stretched and slowly blinked his eyes open, looking directly at her. Blushing, she looked away and attempted to act as if she had not spent the last fifteen minutes gazing at him.
He looked over her tight top and bare arms approvingly. "Wow, Scully, it's really getting hot in here," he said, in the tone he reserved for when he was tossing innuendos at her.
Against her will, Scully felt herself growing redder. Taking a deep breath, she allowed herself to slip back into their usual rhythm. "Gee, Mulder, need some cold water?"
He gave her a mock glare, offset by his grin upon realizing that they were working towards letting go of the events of last night.
"So, Scully, any new ideas on the case?"
"Not at the moment. I still don't agree with you, but that's nothing new." She smiled, attempting to convey that she did not mean it spitefully.
He nodded. "Yeah, nothing new. Back to our usual routine, I guess," he added, not without a hint of regret in his voice.
"So you still hold the same position as you did last night?"
"About the case, you mean?" he asked, not quite managing to keep a slight edge out of his voice.
"Yeah. About the case."
"Same opinion, then."
She nodded acceptingly. "Okay. Well, I'll think about it."
"And I suppose I could consider some of the various logical explanations that you are sure to offer."
"Thank you."
"Right back at ya," he said smoothly, with a wink.
She rolled her eyes, but smiled nevertheless. "Let's change the subject."
"Okay. About your date tonight…"
"Oh, come off it already, Mulder."
"No, Scully, I am being serious. That Varrick guy frankly gives me the creeps. I don't trust him."
"Mulder?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you jealous?"
"Scully! How could you even suggest such a thing!" he exclaimed in mock horror. "Just be carefully, okay?"
"I always am."
He nodded and looked back to his computer. He was sure that she wasn't taking him seriously, but he didn't want to push the issue and end up in the same position as last night. I probably am just jealous and being paranoid, he thought to himself.
The quiet that had ensued in the room was causing the heat to feel as if it was bearing down with a vengeance. Once again, both agents tried to focus in on their paperwork. Their endeavors proved fruitless.
Throughout that day, they alternated between bouts of idle conversation, brief spurts of napping, and surreptitiously watching each other rout of the corners of their eyes.
That evening, Scully was trying her hardest to enjoy her meal with Varrick, but her heart just wasn't in it. He had made the mistake of taking her out to the little Italian restaurant where she had shared her first kiss with Mulder. Worse still, their table was located next to the front window.
Scully had done all she could to push the memory from her mind in the past couple of days. But now, gazing out to the beautiful walkway to the parking lot, she could not stop the images and sensations from swirling through her head. She was finally forced to admit to herself exactly how much his kiss had affected her.
Sighing, she tried again unsuccessfully to focus on what Varrick was saying.
"I am having one of the best evenings of my recent life, what about you?"
Scully looked up at Varrick blankly. "Hmm?"
The lieutenant had the grace to blush abashedly. "I'm sorry. I'm boring you, aren't I?"
"On, no, no. Of course not. I am sorry; I'm just having trouble focusing tonight. I don't know what the problem is."
But that wasn't true, and both of them knew it. "I'll go get our coats, Dana. I had a nice dinner."
"Um, me too."
"You could try to sound a little less like you wouldn't pay any amount of money to be somewhere else," he said good-naturedly. "Or, should I say, with someone else."
She watched as he walked away from her towards the coat rack. What is wrong with me? Why can I not enjoy a pleasant evening with an attractive, intelligent, sweet man who seems to have it bad for me? It makes no sense. I just can't help wishing he were someone else…
The realization hit her with an intense clarity that she had not believed that she was capable of feeling.
This is it, she decided. This is the end. No more pretending. I have tried everything in my power to stop it, but at this point I have to admit it to myself: I cannot picture myself with any man who isn't Fox Mulder. Fights or not, jealousy or not, insanity or not, he is the only one for me.
This thought nearly took her breath away. She had known this in the back of her mind since the day she had met him and first gazed into his deep hazel eyes, but thinking about it that clearly was a new experience for her. She was surprised to find that she liked it. It felt as if a burden had finally been lifted off her. She was finally allowing herself to think. Suddenly, everything seemed possible. Every molecule in her yearned to rush to his door and…
Her thought process was interrupted by Varrick's return. He chivalrously helped her slip on her jacket. Looking anxious and eager, he smiled and said, "Dana, I have been getting the feeling that maybe this place isn't the ideal one for you to loosen up and really talk to me. Would you want to come back to my place? It's really a very nice house, spacious and elegant, just off the Potomac."
Scully frowned distractedly. She knew that she wasn't being sensible, but at the moment she really wanted to get out of this date. "Um, that sounds lovely, Varrick, but…"
"Wait, please, Dana, before you reject me. I can tell that you haven't been having the best time, and I am extremely sorry if I have been doing anything wrong. Please, give me one more chance."
Scully couldn't help but be overcome with the feeling that he was like a little kid with his first crush having his heart stamped on. Sighing, she agreed to come along out of pure pity. Not a great reason, she knew, but it seemed to satisfy Varrick.
What the hell, she thought as she climbed into his car and they drove in the opposite direction of where Mulder's house was. We've waited six years. What's one more night?
Mulder tiredly looked up at the clock in his office. He knew that he should have left work hours ago, but he just didn't feel like going home. He felt horrible for alienating Scully again, even if she was only mildly irritated. Maybe he was just jealous. He just couldn't stand the thought of her in the arms of another man.
Moreover, he was bored. And being bored left him with no other options than to sit and ponder what exactly Scully and Varrick were doing at the moment. He sincerely hoped that it had all remained just friendly.
He had seen the kiss two nights ago as the beginning of a new stage in their relationship. It was obvious to him that neither of them had been "just acting". If they hadn't had that huge fight last night, he knew that he would have been yearning to further explore this new aspect of their relationship. Apparently, she didn't feel the same way, though…
I seriously need to distract myself, he thought.
He flipped on his computer and connected to the internet. Lazily, he typed "Lieutenant Varrick" into the search engine. Not that I'm jealous and it's consuming my mind or anything… he though sarcastically to himself.
The results slowly began appearing. He scrolled down to the first hit and opened the page.
What he saw sent him running to his car.
One more night was certainly seeming like a lot more for Scully as she was led through what must have been the tenth parlor of Varrick's Victorian mansion. "And as great as the rooms are here," he was saying excitedly.
"Varrick?" she called, and he came back down the stairs. "Sorry, I was getting you a shawl, its cold down here." He smiled warmly, looking exactly like a male model. Scully couldn't have cared less at the moment. "Actually, Varrick, I was going to say that I need to go. I have somewhere that I should be."
He made a hurt face. "I can't at least finish the grand tour?" he asked piteously.
A twinge of guilt came over Scully. Varrick had gone through all this trouble to give her a nice evening. It wasn't his fault that she had picked this night to realize the true depths of her feelings for her partner.
"Okay, finish the tour," she said with a gentle, sympathetic smile.
"And now," he began, grinning. "For the coolest part. I still have the original, unaltered wine cellar that was built over ninety years ago. It is in mint condition and stores some of the finest wine in the area. If you see nothing else here, you have to see this."
Scully nodded. She was just happy that he hadn't suggested a tour of the bedrooms. "Sure, Varrick. But then I really do have to go. It's getting late."
He chuckled. "Curfew, eh? Well, okay then. Let's go." He took her hand and led her down the steep, narrow stairwell to the lower level. The stairs stopped in a small hall-like area. Ahead of them was a thick metal door. Scully shivered involuntarily.
"Oh, are you cold, Dana? I am sorry, how insensitive of me. Let me go get you a shawl." He turned and hurried up the stairs.
Scully sighed and tapped her foot impatiently. Her longing to get out of this place was quickly becoming a physical need.
He soon returned with a shawl, which she donned by herself, refusing his offer of help. She was past caring about hurting his feelings. Something about this whole situation was giving her a strange feeling.
"Okay, here it is. The big finale. Voila!" He opened the door and half pushed, half-escorted her in. She stumbled through in surprise, her eyes taking a moment to adjust to the light.
After a minute, Scully looked around the dimly lit room. It was empty. "Um, Varrick? There is no wine."
"What? I'll be right in there, Dana."
"Look, Varrick, honestly this is starting to give me chills, I need to leave."
He blocked her exit by shoving his full frame in the door. "Oh, Dana, how clumsy of me. I forgot to mention one thing," he said with a wicked smile as the door slammed closed behind him and the lock clicked into place. "My full name."
"What?" Scully tried to sound brave despite the fear creeping up her spine.
"Roger Morris Varrick."
Cliffhanger! What happens next? You shall find out soon…
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