PART XXV: LOVELY-LOVELY-CUTIE-HONEY ADULT RING-CHAN
Deep within the confines of IPC World Headquarters, the VETRA continued to glow with an ever-increasing array of crimson light as Netto watched, almost helplessly. His eyes moved frantically from screen to screen as his hands shook with ever-growing fear.
"What's going on?" Netto cried. "I…I can't see a thing in there! The screen's completely blacked out!"
"Not completely blank," Enzan replied, very matter-of-factly. "We can still see static."
"Like THAT will help anything at this point!" Netto screamed with a frosty glare directed at Enzan.
Tron sat at the one computer monitor that still portrayed something other than static, typing furiously at a keyboard on the control console. Turning to Netto, she said quite cautiously to avoid adding fuel to the fire, "The strain is continuing to evolve…Rockman is approaching the critical level. At this point, the virus is also getting harder for VETRA to decode."
"So what can we do?" yelled Netto as he tugged his hair furiously, to the point of risking premature baldness.
"We type…" Tron continued as she typed furiously, "…and we wait."
"In short, more of the same," Enzan replied mundanely, after which Netto sat down and pouted.
SNUGGLES DIAPERS, SECRET HEADQUARTERS OF THE NET SAVIORS…
Manabe paced nervously back and forth as she attempted to make some sense of the situation, and without much help either. Net Savior commander Kifune was being hospitalized for head injuries after banging his head on his desk multiple times in frustration. It made sense; after all, Tesla had called him…FAT. As for Meijin and Yuuichirou…they were on one week's paid vacation to Jawaii. Net Saviors have a job, but they were still entitled to perks. She cursed herself for allowing the Net Savior department to accept union rules.
The only other person in the room was her Intern Software Architect, an attractive yet innocent blonde named Casket, to whom Manabe gave a quick glance. Casket winked at her and gave her a thumbs-up, after which Manabe rolled her eyes and glanced away.
"Manabe," Casket said reassuringly, "we've just gotten word that the Baka-Chibi-Neko virus strain in Rockman is being diagnosed, with an experimental device called the VETRA."
"The Viral-Extractor-whatever?" Manabe perked up rather stupidly, her usual wit intelligence being understandably off-key this hectic afternoon. "But that's not due to enter production until 20XX+X! How did they get hold of such a thing?"
"Ebay," Enzan's voice replied through the Net Saviors' intercom system as a huge LCD display showed an up-close shot of his usual mundane expression. In the background, Manabe and Casket heard the frantic pulling of hair as Netto waited nervously.
"Enzan Ijuin…" Casket murmured. "Then that would mean, you have HER with you…"
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Tron yelled quite cockily. "It's been a long time, Casket!"
"Uuugggghhhhh…." Casket moaned while rolling her eyes, "Of all the possible candidates, why was someone as inept as YOU contracted onto the VETRA project?"
"Casket…" Tron huffed with her arms folded, "WHO beat you in our grade school's International Robotics Competition? WHO mutilated you on Battlebots? WHO beats you every day when we link up on Boktai?"
Casket pouted as she replied, "…You do."
"Who's your master? Go on, say it."
"I…will never…say it…" Casket pouted even more intensely as she stared at Tron with vicious, firey vengeance lighting her eyes.
"If you're quite done with your grudge talk…" Enzan huffed impatiently, "perhaps we can continue our talk of Adver Man."
And so Enzan spoke with Manabe as Tron and Casket took turns exchanging middle fingers, pulled-down eyebrows, and stuck-out tongues in a variety of innovative ways.
"We've just activated the VETRA," Enzan continued, "and we're waiting for the results."
"What's Rockman's status?" Manabe asked anxiously.
"We're waiting for it now. Tron has just entered the protocol to locate the virus, but strangely, as it expands through his body, it's getting increasingly hard to find."
"That's to be expected. However, Enzan, you'll have to work even harder, for we've just received word that Wily, Tesla, and Narcy Hide have teamed up to get the Baka-Chibi-Neko virus from you. They know where you are…and they are heading there now."
"Great, more bad news," Enzan murmured as he lowered his head and massaged his temples to cope with his newfound stress.
"Funny you should say that…" Casket replied with a raised eyebrow, "because now I've just received rumors that Kenishiro has hired a new subordinate named Mary Towa, who operates the Bishoujo Navi Ring-chan."
"ARRGGGHHH!" Enzan screamed while tearing at his own scalp, not a very reassuring sight for the already stressed Netto Hikari. As Tron and Casket continued to exchange middle fingers, Enzan attempted to remain calm as he asked Manabe: "We already know what Adver Man and Kenishiro are capable of, and it's really not much…but what about Ring-chan?"
"From our analysis, Ring-chan is a mysterious experimental Navi," Manabe responded while pointing upwards. "She is based on a code that allows her to change herself whenever she senses danger. We don't have much data on her yet…all we know from speculative rumors is that whenever Ring-chan is threatened, she transforms into a more mature adult version of herself with unknown power levels, known as Lovely-Lovely-Cutie-Honey Adult Ring."
"I wouldn't mind seeing that…" Netto thought to himself as he took a break from pulling his defenseless scalp.
"I see…" Enzan replied with his eyes closed. "Well then, keep me posted on any future events. We need to be prepared in case they attack…wait…what was that sound?"
AND THEN, BACK AT IPC…
As if by cue, Wily, Tesla, and Narcy rushed into the laboratory and simultaneously shouted, "STOP! You can't destroy the virus!"
"…Er…and why not?" muttered Tron.
"I need it to attract men!" Tesla cried desperately. "I'm attractive enough, granted…"
Wily, Narcy, Tron, Netto, and Enzan rolled their collective eyes.
"…but I still need it," Tesla continued, "and I ALWAYS get what I want!"
"I need it to make Videoman look cute enough to attract fangirls, so that my pink bunny movies are more popular among the masses!" Narcy squealed as he made a limp motion with his wrist.
"I need it to…to…" Wily started before scratching his chin. "Come to think of it…why do I need it? Oh well, evil occurs for no particular reason this time."
"I'm going to get rid of it once and for all!" Netto cried. "It's already caused too much trouble! Give me one good reason why I shouldn't!"
"WE need it!" cried Narcy, Tesla, and Wily in pathetic pleading tones.
Netto stood in stalwart defiance as the three despicable villains knelt before him as if he were the master of the universe. The whole situation represented a Jerry Springer episode about to get violent, but fortunately, Netto knew better; he struck a deal with them.
"Okay," he responded as he rubbed his chin, "I'll isolate the virus into a disk and burn copies for all of you. What do you think about that?"
The three villains shrugged and nodded, and Enzan had to admit he was impressed with his partner's skills of improvisation. However, they were not the only ones Netto and Enzan had to worry about…
"ENTER CUTIE BISHOUJO NAVI RING-CHAN!" squealed a childlike female voice as a young female Navi dressed in a VERY revealing body glove-like outfit entered into the IPC's network. Staring at Rockman's body encapsulated in a glowing aura of red light, she cried in awe, "Oooohhhh! Pretty colors!"
"And just who are you?" Netto asked as Enzan looked at him disappointedly. She had, after all, just said who she was.
"Bishoujo Navi Ring-chan!" Ring squealed happily as she did a little dance. "And I'm here because Kenishiro told me to DESTROY YOU ALL!" Pointing to Narcy, Tesla, and Wily, she continued, "And that goes for you too! Heehee!"
Wily, Tesla, Narcy, Netto, Enzan, and Tron looked at Ring. They looked at each other. And then, all six of them burst into raucous, hilarious laughter.
"Stop it!" Ring-chan cried as she pouted quite cutely. "You're gonna make me cry!"
"Non, madame Ring-chan…" Mary's voice echoed over the intercom, "…we have to stop this foolishness! We must dispose of les monsieurs Netto and Enzan and les miserables Wily, Tesla and Narcy NOW!"
"Well…okay," Ring-chan pouted as she spread her arms and shouted, "Ring-chan…TRANSFORM!"
"Oh…no…" murmured Enzan, "…the true power manifests itself now…"
"You mean…her ADULT form…" Netto replied with a shaken voice, mostly in fear that he would get whooped, but also out of anxious wonderment of how Adult Ring-chan would look.
A brilliant pink light surrounded Ring-chan as she ascended into the air. The aura completely enveloping her body, her figure could be seen gradually materializing into a full-bodied, mature female figure. The aura cleared and a very different Ring-chan had been revealed, one with a fully matured middle-age female body and a deeper, more secuctive voice. Surely this was Ring's ultimate power! She shouted with determination as the aura cleared: "THE LOVELY-LOVELY-CUTIE-HONEY ADULT RING!"
"Have at you, monsieurs and mademoiselles," Mary said with an evil but oddly cute grin adorning her face. "I leave you in Ring's hands for now. Although I barely know any of you, I wish you…au revoir."
"Er…all she did was get older…" Enzan muttered with a raised eyebrow.
"Enzan…" Blues uttered with a horrified expression, "…look at her power levels now!"
"Wha-HOLY…They're off the freakin' charts!" Enzan screamed as his face grew pale.
"But she is cute, though," Netto said while scratching his chin, his nose bleeding profusely.
"I don't care how cute she is!" Narcy screamed as Tesla and Wily looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Videoman! Plug In!"
"A Navi can never be as beautiful as me!" Tesla screamed, after which Wily and Narcy rolled their eyes. "Magnetman! Plug In!"
As for Wily, he simply sat this battle out to stare at Adult Ring, nose bleeding like a fountain.
"I may as well join in this for the heck of it," Enzan shrugged. "Get ready for combat, Blues! We'll have to defend VETRA's core against Adult Ring!"
"Understood, Enzan-sama," Blues nodded as he got into a cool battle pose.
"Rockman! Plug in…oh, never mind," Netto muttered as he realized that Rockman was in no condition to help, not while he was being cured from a chibified Neko body and a helmet upside-down on his head.
"I'll assist, Enzan," Tron said with a wink, after which Enzan blushed. "Tiesel! Plug In!"
"Oh no ya don't," Casket shouted, "…I'll prove that I can fight way better than you can, Tron! That said…Volnutt! Plug In!"
Tiesel, a large Navi with green Gundam-like armor, wavy gray hair, and a major attitude problem appeared to Blues' left. Volnutt, another blue-armored Gundam-like Navi with a head and helmet bearing an extremely close resemblance to Rockman, appeared to Blues' right. Behind Blues' back, both of them exchanged middle fingers at each other.
"I can see what you're doing back there…" Blues thought as he slapped his forehead, on which a huge sweat drop already made its way down.
"All right…" Adult Ring grinned devilishly, "…let's get started, shall we? ADULT RING ATTACK: CLUSTER RING BOMBER!"
With this, she leapt into the air and unleashed a furious storm of thousands of rings that exploded violently when they made impact with the ground. Everyone present stepped back in awe as their Navis attempted in vain to frantically dodge the deadly rain of ring bombs, and when it was all over, every square inch of ground had been scarred and every Navi caught in the blast had been incinerated to within an inch of death.
"Multiple effect…Full Recovery, Slot In!" Tron cried as she slotted in a Full Recovery Giga Class chip and a Multiple Effect chip, resulting in all Navis being healed to full recovery. Alas, so was Adult Ring, who actually was never harmed to begin with.
"We're going to have to retreat for now!" Narcy growled disappointedly. "Videoman…jack out."
"Agreed," Tesla growled. "Better to be alive in defeat than to be dead in victory."
"But we didn't even DO anything yet!" Magnetman and Videoman shouted in a rather disappointed tone as both of them logged out. With that, Tesla and Narcy rushed out of the building, but then came back to pick up a very excited Wily, staring at Adult Ring with his nose bleeding with the full fury of a waterfall.
"With all three of them disposed of," Adult Ring said ominously as she turned to face Blues, Tiesel, and Volnutt, "I'll just have to get rid of the three remaining before me!"
"Very well," Tiesel shouted while picking his nose, "youse gonna die now!"
Witnessing this vulgar display, Enzan looked at Tiesel in disgust, then back at Tron, who shrugged obliviously; obviously, Tiesel's vulgar mannerisms were a mystery to all.
"Hah, I'm the only one who's going to destroy her, Tiesel!" Volnutt replied in a cocky tone. "Hey…where'd the other guy go?"
Blues had obviously remembered what was really important here, and began rushing to attack Ring. Tiesel and Volnutt followed closely behind…of course, after taking a moment to get with the program.
"All of you attacking me at once?" Adult Ring moaned. "This is hardly fair…Ring Buster!"
With that, she transformed her right hand into a sleek golden buster reminiscent of a weapon out of a 50's science fiction movie, firing an immensely powerful blast at Tiesel, who attempted to dodge in vain. Fortunately, the blast made contact with only half its full force, but alas, Tiesel was now left without his arms or his left leg.
"Aw crap," Tiesel muttered as he attempted to pick his nose with his left foot, which, without the rest of his appendages, was quite taxing.
"NOW it's fair!" Ring shouted. "Well, then, shall we begin, Little Red and Big Blue?"
"This is…completely overwhelming," Netto murmured in complete awe and horror as his body grew limp.
"So this is the power of Adult Ring-chan…" Tron moaned. "Enzan…what do you suggest we do now?"
"Prepare yourselves," Enzan hissed between clenched teeth as he lowered his head and narrowed his eyes in a manner foretelling imminent doom.
"This may be our last battle."
END PART XXV
