PART XXVI: MISSION IMPLAUSIBLE

"What's the matter?" Lovely-Lovely-Cutie-Honey Adult Ring-chan shouted impatiently. "You've been staring at me for twenty minutes!"

"J-just give us a minute…" Volnutt murmured as he attempted in vain to plug his furiously bleeding nose.

"You're pathetic," Blues groaned, although, in all honesty, said pathetic-ness could not be helped considering the circumstances.

"If you're not going to attack ME…" Adult Ring hissed, "…then I will attack YOU! Program Advance…FURIOUS RING SWORD!"

"No! Waitaminnit!" shouted Volnutt pathetically.

Ring's body glowed an intense gold as a huge glowing sword manifested before her. The tremendous blade grew in size at an alarming rate, ascending its bulk into the heavens as Blues and Volnutt looked on in awe. For once, it seemed that Ring would have the last laugh as the Furious Ring Sword continued to grow.

THREE MINUTES LATER…

Enzan was already thumbing through Guns and Ammo, a copy that Laika had already given to him once he finished reading it. Tron gave her nails a thorough manicure as Casket continued to casually sneak middle fingers at her. Manabe was busy filing her own nails while heating her newly dyed hair. Blues and Volnutt tapped their feet impatiently, wishing they had watches to glance at, so they had some idea that time was passing normally. As for Netto Hikari, he was practically the only one still interested in this fight.

"Come on…get to full size already…" groaned Ring impatiently between clenched teeth as the Furious Ring Sword continued to expand.

"Will you HURRY IT UP ALREADY?" screamed Blues. "I know the delay is useful for Rockman, but my legs are aching here!"

"SHUT UP!" Adult Ring screamed. "It's almost full size already!"

"Ugghhhh…I can't go on like this…" Volnutt muttered as he paced around anxiously. "Can't she just attack us already?"

"FINALLY!" Ring shouted as the sword reached its tremendous size, by which point the peak of its blade was literally touching the sky.

"…Finally," everyone else moaned in unison.

"Now, Program Advance Execute!" cried Adult Ring as she reached towards the sky with both her arms, then brought them down in a single wave. The sword descended from the heavens at a frightening speed, then crashed on the ground with the full force of a subatomic explosion. Chunks of terrain flew everywhere and in the real world, Enzan, Tron, Netto, Manabe, and Casket were completely blinded by the intense light the attack generated. When the light cleared, Adult Ring looked before her and all she saw was a vast wasteland of destruction.

"Hah…" she panted exhaustedly, "…my work here is done!"

Enzan should have felt tragically sad, but all he reacted with was a sweat-drop on his forehead. "Umm…Ring…" he muttered, pointing behind Ring's back.

"Don't try to distract me, human, for you have already lost!" Ring cackled…until suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder, followed by a voice sounding very much like Blues, muttering, "Excuse me…are you quite finished?"

"You had better not be…" Ring murmured as she turned around, then stepped back in shock as Blues and Volnutt stood before her, tapping their feet.

"HOW DID YOU ESCAPE MY SWORD?" Ring screamed.

"Uh…it wasn't that hard…" Blues grunted while rubbing the back of his head. "You were only waving it downward in one direction, so we pretty much just moved around to your back. Even Netto or Rockman would have figured that one out…"

"Argh!" shouted Adult Ring as she tugged at her multi-ringed ponytails. "Well then…I see I at least got someone, so please tell me…who is THAT?"

With that, she pointed at the body of Rockman, lying smack in the middle of the blast, his body charred as his eyes were twisted into cute little spirals and drool flowed from his mouth. About the only thing going for him was that he was no longer a Chibi Neko, and his helmet was now right-side up on his head.

"I just get cured of a killer virus…" he huffed as he struggled to bring himself to stand up straight, "…and THIS IS HOW YOU ALL GREET ME?"

"What just happened here?" Enzan murmured as he looked at Tron expectingly as she replied, "The virus must have dissipated, dispersing Rockman's body into the Internet…"

"…AND RIGHT INTO THAT DAMN SWORD!" screamed Netto.

"It appears that attack alone wasn't nearly enough to defeat you!" Ring hissed with a sadistic grin that was so completely unlike her usual offbeat childish self. "And so I shall use the technique again…FURIOUS RING SWORD!"

"NOT AGAIN!" cried everyone simultaneously.

"And this time," Ring continued, "I shall make it ten times more powerful!"

"No!" screamed Rockman.

"No…" groaned Blues and Volnutt.

Adult Ring manifested another of her Furious Swords in her hands until suddenly, she reverted back into teeny, cute Bishoujo Navi Ring-chan as Rockman and Blues suddenly wore those cute little puzzled expressions, what with their heads tilted and eyes transformed into little dots and whatnot.

"The sheer stress of such a technique must have been too much even for her Adult Form!" Chibi Neko Slur stated as she manifested into the IPC network. "She reminds me of a Toys R Us Kid!"

"Flussshhhh…BLLLEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" squealed Aquaman as he did the usual.

"It's Slur and Aquaman!" Netto cried, making an obvious observation.

"WELL DUH!" shouted Enzan, providing an obvious response.

"We've come to get rid of the Chibi Neko for good," Slur sighed in relief. "This reminds me of…er…buying new firewall software, I suppose."

"Just in time," Enzan replied, smiling in relief that support had arrived. "Tron, run a diagnostic on Slur and Aquaman."

"Initiating now!" Tron replied as she typed into her keyboard furiously.

"Who are you people?" Ring asked cutely as she tilted her head.

"Are you (blanking) serious?" Blues muttered beneath his breath.

"Dude, we just tried to kill you a second ago…" Volnutt started before stopping himself to think his comment over.

"Wanna play a game of Tag?" Ring asked as she jumped up and down with her elbows cringed in front of her like a bunny rabbit.

"Are you (blanking) serious?" Netto and Enzan muttered beneath THEIR breath.

"TAG! I WANNA PLAY!" shouted Volnutt. Tron looked at Casket, who shrugged…and then snuck in another middle finger, thus continuing the vicious cycle.

"Yay, I'm it!" shouted Ring as she transformed her right arm into a Long Sword. Sweat drops manifested on the heads of Blues and Volnutt as they stared at Ring, then at each other.

"What do you propose we do?" Volnutt murmured.

"The only thing we can do in a situation like this," Blues replied, stepping forward. "Since time immemorial, it has been up to the Net Saviors to uphold peace in the digital realm. That said…"

Ring suddenly waved her sword, creating an energy wave that destroyed absolutely everything within a ten-foot radius. Blues suddenly seemed rather unsure of what he said before, when in stepped Volnutt to attempt in vain to reassure him.

"I'm with you, Blues!" shouted Volnutt as he stepped forward. "Let's beat her!"

"Who's trying to beat her?" Blues asked frantically. "RUN LIKE HELL!"

"Right there with ya!" Volnutt replied happily as the two of them sped away with flaming trails and a very gleefully destructive Ring in their wake.

"Ooookaaayyyyy…" Tron muttered as she continued to type furiously, taking in the whole humorous yet desperate nature of the situation. Turning to Enzan, she stated very matter-of-factly: "Diagnosis complete."

"Already?" Netto responded, somewhat surprised yet happy that Slur and Aquaman were returned to normal. "Well then! Rockman, back up Slur!"

"What the (blank) makes you think I'm fit to do that now?" Rockman cried, pointing at his hopelessly damaged body. He had, after all, taken the full brunt of the Furious Ring Sword.

"Er…forget that!" Netto replied. "Slur, back us up!"

"I suppose," she responded, getting into a battle ready pose. Glancing over at Ring, she said, "Hmm. For once, I am glad not to be reminded of anything."

"As for you Aquaman…er…" Enzan said to Aquaman as he took a long, hard look at the tiny Navi's body, "…stay there and shake your head! It's not as enjoyable as flushing but it'll be far easier on your stomach!"

"I'll do that! Wheee!" shouted Aquaman as he twisted himself around in circles, than barfed out of dizziness.

"If you're quite done," Ring squealed angrily, "Minion of Evil standing right here!"

"Right then, prepare to get PWNED!" Netto screamed.

"Pwned?" Enzan and Tron muttered to themselves…and shuddered.

"Aww, this isn't fair!" cried Ring as she pouted helplessly. "All of you ganging up on me in tag isn't fun at all! Oh wait…I'm the one who's IT! Well then…"

Slur stood right smack dab in front of Ring and folded her arms as she glared down at the little yellow Navi, who met her gaze with a helpless, almost puppy-dog face as she grunted:

"JUST TRY IT."

Knowing that discretion was the better part of valor, Ring logged out.

"Not much for power, she was," Enzan said as he raised his eyebrow.

"Ring, Ultimate Minion of Evil? Yeah right," Netto murmured. "Only thing powerful…or sexy…about her was her Adult Form."

"Never mind that," Slur replied as she closed her eyes. "Now what do we do about Adver Man?"

"There's only one place we can go to get information…and dinner, come to think of it," Netto replied as he pointed upwards randomly. "That place is the finest five-star restaurant I know of in town! The world's tastiest food! A world-class dining establishment of the highest echelon of quality and palette! And that place is…"

MAHA ICHIBAN CURRY RESTAURANT…

"Seven orders of Extra Spicy House Special!" Netto cried as he, Meiru, Yaito, Enzan, Tron, Shuuko, and Yuuochirou sat down to eat.

"What a nice boy," Tron said softly while smiling politely, "being so courteous as to order for all of us!"

Then, just as he had started to show a shred of dining decency, Netto turned back to the others and said with a grin and thumb-up, "Well. That's MY share! You guys can order now!"

And then everyone fell over anime-style. Netto sat down at the biggest table available, clearing away practically everything so that his ungodly share of food could fit.

"You know, Netto," Yuuichirou murmured as Netto sat with his fork and knife eagerly awaiting their use, "you really should consider eating something else. You'll have health problems in your old age if all you eat is curry."

"Granted, he does have a youthful metabolism," Meiru said quietly, "but still…"

"He should take advantage of it!" Yaito shouted as she pointed upward. "If he worries about it now he'll worry about it two to three more times when he gets older."

"I suppose the others are right," Yuuichirou sighed. "There's always the gym."

Netto shuddered as Enzan smirked. By this time, their food had arrived and it was time to eat. Everyone had to practically shout at the top of their lungs to reach Netto's ears over his vast, expansive valley of food.

"Compiling the data from Adver Man, we've found out that he has his command code encrypted in a satellite system deep in outer space," Tron said, getting straight down to business. "Adver Man's code is hidden in this strange-looking satellite, supposedly constructed a year or two ago by an underground criminal network."

With this, she pulled out a photo of a weird yet oddly adorable satellite resembling Adver Man's head, staring down at the Earth. Meiru and Yaito squealed like fangirls, Enzan raised his eyebrows, and Yuuichirou gazed at it with a horrified expression. As for Netto, he smirked a little, then continued his assault on a lone, defenseless pile of curry.

"So can't Duo simply destroy it?" Enzan asked quite the obvious.

"That's a negative," Yuuichirou Hikari replied while closing his eyes and shaking his head, affirming that it was indeed a negative. "We tested that thesis already. Duo's orbit is on the other side of the Earth, and moves on the same axis as the satellite, although slightly faster. At this rate, it will take him an entire month to get within destruction range of the satellite, by which time Adver Man will have caused more than enough destruction to annoy the entire world."

Netto turned up from his continually disappearing pile of curry to ask the next logically following question: "So how in the world do you propose we get rid of this satellite?"

"One team has to destroy it manually, while another team takes care of Adver Man here on Earth. We have to distract him long enough to destroy the satellite core. There is an old shuttle we can use to get to the satellite while the second team has to engage Adver Man so that he doesn't know of our plot."

"Who will be on which team?" Shuuko asked, leaning forward with interest.

"I've made the teams according to your capabilities and how you can attack. The first team is based on strategy, and will fly to the satellite in order to destroy it. That first team is Netto, Yaito, and Shuuko."

"Figured he'd team ME up with two girls…" Netto thought to himself. "He's been begging me to find a girlfriend nowadays…something about wanting grandkids…"

"Funny, all our names end with O!" Yait-O thought to herself while grinning adorably. "Lots of possibilities for name games here!"

"As for you, Enzan, Tron, and Meiru," Yuuichirou continued to the others, "you will go to America and meet up with Kristen again to engage Adver Man and find out exactly what he's up to."

"K-Kristen…" Enzan murmured while shuddering. "I do hope she's not in another of her wild mood swings again…"

"Why is he teaming us up two girls to one boy, and why is it that I can't even team up with Netto? Is it because my name doesn't end in O?" thought Meir-U.

Their dinners complete (and most impressively, Netto's dinner was also finished), all seven heroes stood up and faced each other.

"Until we meet again," Yuuichirou said with newfound determination.

"To outer space!" cried Netto, Shuuko, and Yaito.

"To…somewhere else!" shouted Yuuichirou, Enzan, Meiru, and Tron.

"But first…" everyone screamed frantically, "…TO THE BATHROOM!"

Hearing these words, the former members of the World Three shuddered and regretted having added so much Extra Spicy into their House Special recipe.

END PART XXVI