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A/N: I don't know why but I had to write this. Not enough Raven lately and I couldn't keep leaving her out, though this is a very short chapter. Kind of goes with ch. 8. Poor, poor Raven. I know this is cruel to her but we all know what type of monster she's dealing with. I apologize for any language used. I think it fits the scope of the chapter. Let me know if you like it or hate it. Another chapter written very late in the evening.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans so lets not try and sue me since I don't have anything to sue for.

Ch. 9: Forced Back into Shadow

Raven P.O.V

Following my quick appearance to the kitchen, I immediately went back to my room. I was definitely surprised she had made me tea. I didn't think she even knew how to make my tea. I guess Starfire was just full of surprises. I don't know what I felt from her when I saw her. I wish empathy was a little more clear. Of course the alternative was forming a link with her and I think feeling all her happy thoughts all day long would drive me insane. I shuddered slightly at the thought.

When she handed me the mug my hand touched hers slightly. It almost felt like she envied me. Who in their right mind would envy me? Maybe it had to do with Robin. If that was the case I would have expected emotions like anger or hate, if it were all possible for Starfire to hate someone. It had to be envy. The beautiful, loving, carefree alien princess envied the spawn of Satan and possible Bringer of the end of the world. If made as much sense as Beast Boy winning the Nobel Prize in Physics. I could feel my lips curve slightly at my comment. Poor Beast Boy. Always such an easy target.

I took another sip of my mug as I finally arrived back at my room. The door opened and I returned to the darkness of my room. I hadn't been lying when I had told everyone I had something to do, and I definitely wasn't kidding when I said not to disturb me. I tried to sound as serious as possible because I didn't want anyone interfering. There was a chance I'd be vulnerable again with what I had to do, and I didn't want anyone seeing it, especially not Robin. The slightest mistake around him could bring untold consequences and I wasn't going to risk it. I tried to convince myself that feelings were trivial and that none of it was worth my time. Maybe if I said it enough times it would actually be true.

I placed down my tea and assumed a lotus position on my bed to meditate. I sat there for probably an hour clearing my head. I had to be ready for this. I believed I could get some answers to aid us, but I had to do one of the things I wish I never had to do again. I had to talk to an ancient being who had nearly destroyed me, inside and out. I had to talk to Malchior.

When I think back to that whole ordeal, I can't help but feel so many emotions. That had probably been the weakest time in my life since I had been a child and someone was there to take advantage of it. He had preyed on my insecurities and my loneliness. As much as I know he didn't mean it, Beast Boy's comment had hurt. I knew I was different, I just didn't want to be reminded of that fact. I just wanted to belong somewhere and not be alone anymore.

If I had just looked closer, I would have realized I already had all those things with my family, with the Titans. I was too blind to see what was in front of me, and it almost cost me everything.

I always remember that Robin never once yelled at me for that entire incident. He didn't get angry that I had endangered the team by keeping things from them. He never once raised his voice. He only had told me only two things regarding it. He had told me to please be more careful with myself and the other…well he had told me I had looked good in white. When I had blushed at the comment he also said I looked good with a little red. He was lucky that he had left the room at that moment.

I've always respected Robin, admired him for what he chose to do. He was normal and could just walk away at anytime but he fought harder than any of us to help those in need. I tried to believe that those facts are all that I feel toward Robin. Admiration and respect. However, it was that simple teasing, the way it made me feel ,as if I had never done anything wrong It was then that I started questioning my feelings toward our leader. When I found Malchior, maybe I was looking for more than acceptance. Maybe I was looking for someone to love me. There was that word again. It kept popping into my head even when I didn't want it too. It was all so confusing, far too dangerous a word to be used right now. It was time to find some answers.

I approached the magically sealed chest in front of me. Using my powers I opened it and levitated a book in front of me. I said a few words and set it on the ground. The book opened on its own accord, opening to a page that held the false eyes of the mage Rorek. A dark voice began speaking to me in a mocking tone.

"Ah sweet Raven. To what do am I owed the pleasure of being allowed to gaze on your breath taking features." Calm down Raven. Don't let this monster get to you. You're stronger than that.

"I've come looking for answers and I hoped you might know something that you are willing to share with me." I spoke as bluntly as possible.

"What no greetings for an old friend. I thought you had manners my little bird." A deep chuckle erupted from the book. "I'm assuming this has to do with what you were talking about yesterday with your leader does it not."

"How did you know what we were talking about?" I asked suspiciously.

"Oh you know. A little bird told me." I could feel him mocking me. "What not up for jokes. I used a bit of black magic to listen in on the conversation. I just felt that it was very important.

"How much did you hear."

"Everything Raven. Everything." Once again I could hear him chuckle darkly from within the book. "And let me just say, its quite a little drama you've got going. Of all the deep dark secrets you told me in your vulnerable state, never once did you say who your father was. Trigon himself, why I haven't talked to him in eons. Is he still a blood-thirsty monster? Oh what does it matter. I'm sure I'll meet him again soon enough. Then maybe I can finally get some freedom when this whole universe goes to hell."

"You will never be free Malchior. I will ensure that," My voice was icy. Another dark chuckle.

"I don't think you will be capable of stopping anyone once the prophecy is fulfilled now will you."

"What do you now of the prophecy you bastard." I could feel the anger filtering into my voice. I knew he knew something.

"Now why should I tell you anything Raven. I mean you did lock me in this book for all eternity. I don't envision us making a deal because what can you offer me…that you haven't already given me." That last comment was said with total malicious intent. A small lamp exploded in my room as the anger within me spiked.

"Does he know Raven?"

"Who."

"Robin of course. Does he know how you told me everything about yourself. Does he know how I held you in my arms as you cried and wiped away your tears as they fell. Does he know how you told me that you love me. Does he know that it was me you gave your first kiss too."

"Shut up!" My voice erupted from my shaking figure. Objects began swirling around my room as my anger and regret got the best of me. I tried to calm down but it was a slow process. His words stung deeply. I knew this was going to happen, but I thought I could handle it. I was wrong. I'm sorry Robin. Eventually I managed to gain control. My room was a mess but there was no terrible damage. I could still hear Malchior laughing at me.

"Now if your done with your little temper tantrum. I believe you wanted some information. I figure there's no harm in telling you since it can't be stopped." How could he be so smug when trapped in a book. I'd kill him I could.

"What do you know about the prophecy."

"Oh a little of this and a little of that. Fire, destruction, half-demon bitch being the gate. All that good stuff." I gritted my teeth at his words. Please just hurry up and tell me so I can go I thought. "But of course that's all common knowledge. Especially the bitch part." I let out a defeated sigh. There was nothing I could do. I needed his information to help prepare, to try and save myself, and my family.

"Is there anything useful you can tell me?"

"Oh I'm not just going to tell you anything. There's no fun in that. I'm going to give you a small clue and let you figure it out. I mean you are so smart. Its not like an evil dragon in a book could ever fool you. HaHaHA oh wait your not finding any of this humorous are you. That's too bad. They say laughter is the music of the soul, but its not like a monster like you has a soul. Oh I haven't had this much fun since I ripped out your fragile little heart. Sometimes I wish I could do it again, but only literally this time."

Every comment, every word felt like a dagger in my heart. I wanted to scream, wanted to cry, wanted to kill all at the same time but none of that was allowed. All those feelings would only bring more useless destruction. I was taking all this for my friends, my family, to help try and protect those who truly existed within my heart.

"All you need to know my sweet little bird is that the day the prophecy comes true is soon. There is a very obvious sign to what day it will be. Just look for something that hasn't occurred in a very, very long time and you shall know the day. That's all you get unless you want to let me out." I glared violently at the eyes in the book.

"I thought as much. Oh two more things. For one, if I'm correct and I am usually, tell SoulBurn, haha, what a funny name, to tell his father I said hello. And two, you did good rejecting Robin yesterday Raven. I mean you and me both know that no one could ever love something like you."

I immediately slammed the book shut with my powers and returned it the chest. I had enough abuse for one day. But whose to say he wasn't being truthful in everything he said. I am a monster, a thing, a soulless demon who is only meant to bring misery. All the words Malchior had told me all hit me at once. I tried not to believe in them, I tried to find comfort in thoughts of my friends and Robin, but I couldn't do it. I fell to the floor and curled up in a ball. A few tears escaped my eyes as I wished I would just disappear.