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Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Teen Titans so don't even try suing me for the minuscule property I have.
Chapter 12: Two Unique Essences
3 days passed and a slight tension still filled the air at Titan's tower. Though everyone tried to act as if nothing was wrong, the frostiness of the atmosphere was almost tangible. No had talked about the incident on the elevator and no one asked. Two things were for sure though. In the past 3 days Raven had come out of her room more sharing every meal with the Titans. Though she said very little, everyone was just relieved to be able to see her form. The other thing that everyone took notice of was that there were absolutely no words spoken between Robin and Raven, ever. The closest they ever even came into contact was across the table when easting and even then they never even looked at each other. Any other time that Robin was in the room, Raven wasn't and vice versa. It was something that made everyone wince a little as they watched it, though no one said anything.
Starfire was not buzzing around the room with uncontrollable amounts of energy as usual though she was still almost always with smiles. She was simply relieved to have Raven out of her room. The only time Raven had come down to read in the past three days, Starfire simply sat across the couch staring at Raven's form with a large smile. She did not say anything to her friend but simply enjoyed having the chance to be in her presence. Beast Boy continued to drift into a type of depression though no one bothered to ask about it, while SoulBurn simply sat grim observing everyone. It seemed as if the somber mood of his surroundings was literally forcing him into a bad mood. The only time a smile would reach his face was when Starfire would try to cheer him up or when she cutely interacted with Silkie.
Cyborg spent more time in the garage working on his projects. He really went there to think about everything that was going on, hoping an answer would come to him, some simple words of wisdom he could pass down to all the younger Titans that would solve everything. The words never came. Robin had become as much a specter of Titan's tower as Raven was. He was almost never seen except at meals. He was either out on patrol, his room, or in the gym. He refused to acknowledge that anything was going on and simply turned in on himself. Not that long ago he had been more relaxed than he had ever felt before, but now the Robin of old had resurfaced. His dark, brooding behavior had returned and his cold presence was unsettling to be around. As like with SoulBurn, only Starfire seemed to make him smile when he was seen.
Had it truly not been for Starfire, everyone probably would have already caved in on themselves. Though no one wanted to admit, it was her smile each day that everyone was holding on to. The smile was something that had always been there, but as of late it had taken on a new significance. It was a small bit of hope in a place going to hell.
Night had come again just as it always did. The night was clear with the stars clearly visible in the sky. Despite the late hour, Robin was still awake, sitting on the edge of the roof, staring out toward the city. Though no one knew it, that was the same spot he was known to sit when Raven meditated on the roof. It could not be seen, but his eyes were closed behind his mask as the window gently blew around him. He was simply imagining a time not that long ago when he and Raven could sit comfortably for hours saying nothing. No words, no small talk, just enjoying the presence of the other as the problems of the day were forgotten.
However, those days were long gone. The silence that existed between them now was deafening to him and every day of exile from that comfort was like being stabbed through the heart. He wished he understood everything that was going on with Raven. He wish he knew what Slade and Raven's Father were up to so he could go out and find a way to stop it. He wished he knew why Raven kept forcing him so far away. So many questions, but never a satisfying answer.
He wondered if Raven was simply being blunt and ensuring no more time was wasted by him on emotions that she would never return. It was a horrifying thought, but he knew it couldn't be true. He had felt too many good emotions from Raven toward him through their link even during the recent arguments. She had to feel something. Robin knew that she believed she was acting to protect those around her, but it wasn't them that truly needed protection, it was her. Right now she was the most vulnerable, emotionally and physically, yet she continued to suffer in silence, that awful, terrible silence.
Another sigh escaped Robin's lips. Raven shouldn't have to continue to try and do it all by herself. Robin suddenly tensed as he felt the presence of another person. Not one to admit to being snuck on, he turned around as if he knew the person had always been there. His eyes met with the standing form of SoulBurn who most likely had appeared out of thin air. He, like Robin had been, was simply staring off toward the city. Robin was the first to speak.
"Is there something you want to say to me SoulBurn?" It was not everyday that SoulBurn made any attempt at private contact toward a Titan.
"No Robin, but I believe you have something to say to me."
"What makes you think that?"
"You continue to be angry that Raven hides her emotions from you, yet you in turn, spend hours brooding over that fact hidden away from your friends. Now I haven't been around very long, but to me that sounds a little like being a hypocrite" Robin gritted his teeth at the comment though he knew SoulBurn was right. He was doing the same exact thing to the rest of the team. He allowed his own suffering to blind himself to the rest of the team as it suffered as well.
"Your right. I have been a hypocrite. Its just I know there going to tell me that everything will work out in the end like it always do and everyone can live happily ever after, but how can I believe it when I don't think that's a possibility. How can I let them try to cheer me up when I'm losing hope there's a chance here for a happy ending."
Robin once again looked back out toward the city, not wanting to see what might be the expression on SoulBurn's face at his words. He had let his emotions get the better of him. Once thing he and Raven had strongly in common was a desire to never appear vulnerable in front of anyone else. It was something they both had learned at a young age not to allow, and here Robin was doing it. However, SoulBurn had been right. He couldn't keep letting the bad feelings fester within anymore.
"How about an impartial view on the whole situation to try and help you out Robin." Robin turned to SoulBurn with a strange look. Was he actually offering his opinion.
"Why the hell not SoulBurn. Let's see it you have any words of wisdom." Robin's words were slightly laced with sarcasm and defeat. He highly doubted someone that had only know the Titan's for about 2 weeks could offer any help.
"I am aware that you probably always be suspicious of me Robin, probably until I do something that will earn you respect I will be watched carefully by you. I also know that you probably doubt what I have to say because I have not been here very long, but I do understand things. I have trouble trying to think about any type of future for anybody because of what I feel is coming. Its hard enough trying to think about my own future when I don't even have a past. The one thing I do have still is my instincts. Instincts that drive me to feel guilt for what I was forced to do, instincts that led me to believe that you all would help me, instincts that even made me believe Raven was a threat that time in the infirmary when I first arrived. I never did tell you about that did I?" Robin looked at SoulBurn, realizing he had almost forgotten that entire event with everything else that had happened.
"Yeah, I actually am kind of curious about that. Raven never really had an answer for me."
"First let me explain something. Through my powers, I can feel the energy of everything that exists. All living creatures have a specific energy I can see within them, especially within all people. As I once before, this could be referred to a soul or an essence, whatever you wish to believe. What matters is every person has a unique essence that identifies them. Though a majority of them that I have encountered have been very similar, there have been a few very unique essences that have been able to affect me directly. Both are residents of this tower. Starfire's essence is of the purest white. She is perfect innocent even in a universe of terrible darkness, even in the face of Armageddon. You may notice that I enjoy greatly being around Starfire.
"Yeah, couldn't help but notice she seems to be the only one that makes you smile." Robin had a suspicious tone in his voice. SoulBurn let out a slight chuckle.
"I can ensure you that I have no romantic desire for Starfire. As I said before, the purity of her essence is ablr to affect me. I'ts hard to explain but being around her, I feel total comfort and contentment. It feels like I am whole again, that I have something that was lost. Being around her is a type of spiritual healing for me. It helps me have hope in myself and the world."
"So I'm assuming this other special essence would be Raven."
"You assume correct Robin, though during that time in the infirmary, her essence had the opposite effect that Starfire's has. I do not now how, but the second I felt Raven come into the room my instincts shouted to me that I was in danger. One word came to my mind, Demon. When I saw her, I saw a terrible darkness within her. Blacker than void. It frightened me because it was the same presence I had felt when being controlled by Slade.
"Trigon." The name was stated. A cold breeze blew past both young men.
"I know he is Raven's Father, and I also know that the name brings a feeling of dread to me. When I felt that presence in Raven, my body reacted on its own as you witnessed."
"I also recall that you managed to calm down and said something along the line of there being some light."
"You are again correct. It took me awhile to figure out what I was seeing within Raven but the other day it was revealed to me. The darkness within Raven is great indeed but it is not total. It has deeply wrapped itself around Raven's true essence, like some kind of snake, trying to destroy it. It was hard to see the brightness of her essence that time in the infirmary but it was there. When you stepped in front of her when you perceived me as a threat, it managed to peak out from the shadows engulfing it. However, it is as of late that I have noticed something even darker. The darkness of her soul has seemingly come alive. Though her true essence seems to be fighting harder than ever to reveal itself, the evil within her as only grown that much stronger. She is losing Robin. She is losing the battle"
"Why the hell didn't you say something before! I have to get to her right now. She could be in danger." Robin shot up from his spot ready to run to the door. He was stopped by a strong grip on his arm. He turned to meet SoulBurn's gaze. The intensity of SoulBurn's gaze was powerful indeed.
"Stop." It was a command. "Allow me to finish talking. If after you still wish to go to Raven, then I will allow it.
"Alright. You have five minutes. What do you have left to say."Robin jerked his arm way from SoulBurn and crossed his arms in front of himself standing as tall as he could.
"There is nothing you can do Robin that you already have not done. Why do you think her true essence has been fighting to free itself, to be seen. What possible reason could she have for that?"
"Me. Its for me and the Titans." Robin lowered his head in realization. "She is fighting because of us, in order to keep control so nothing bad will happen."
"That is what I believe also Robin, but you would know more than I. As long as Trigon's power continues to grow in this realm, it will become harder and harder for her to fight. The blackness may not be her but it is of her. She knows if it grows too strong, she will succumb to the darkness"
"Raven would never turn evil. She is far too strong to lose a battle of wills."
"Once again, that is something you would know better than me. What I know is that the dark essence within her is of great power. She may be strong, but the dark essence is stronger."
"So what the hell am I supposed to do then. Sit around while she is consumed by this darkness. Wait around for her to lose herself and become what I know she despises."
"Yes and no. You must not push her right now. Because of the feelings I believe she has for you, it is you and you alone that make her weak and afraid. From the files you gave me I know that her emotions are tied to her powers. Probably a sick joke by Trigon to prevent her from being free. She is afraid of her emotions, especially the ones you stir in her. She can't fight the dark essence and such strong feelings at the same time.
"So what am I supposed to do then. I can't just do nothing." Robin's voice was weak, the feeling of being useless to help Raven eating away at him."
"The only way to help Raven is to stop the prophecy, stop Trigon's power from coming to this world. She says she is researching something, looking for something that has to do with the prophecy. We must find out what it is so we can help find it. Once again, I can feel it within me. My instincts are telling me there isn't much time left so we must find this information quickly."
"And just how to you plan on getting that information out of Raven. She's said maybe 10 words to her friends over the past week and a half."
"I am going to talk to her. I believe I can reason with her logical side because she has no emotional attachments to me. She will be more relaxed in my presence because she doesn't give a whole lot of damn about me right now and has no worry of losing control around me.
"Do you really think you can talk to her?" Robin's voice was hopeful.
"Yes I do. If I can spend 10 hours talking to Starfire about absolutely nothing without going crazy, " A small smile formed on SoulBurn's face, "I think I might have a shot talking to Raven I may be the only one who can." Robin couldn't help but smile but the smile quickly disappered.
"Alright, you have two days to get some answers. If you don't, I'm going to get the Titan's involved. Even if I have to stay away, doesn't mean they have to completely." A dark look crossed SoulBurn's face.
"We need to make some type of progress into the prophecy. I have a feeling that the time draws near, and that if we don't find some answers soon, its going to be far too late for any of us."
"I have the same exact feeling." Another cold breeze brushed past the two standing figures. Alright, it's late, time to go to bed." Both young men turned around and started walking toward the door. "You know SoulBurn, you really seem to know just what to say to calm someone down."
"Thank you. You'd be amazed how perceptive you can be when you have a direct connection to a person's very being."
"Yeah that is a hell of an advantage. Must make it pretty easy to talk to girls." Both smiled. Robin opened the door to leave the roof. "I want to get one last thing straight SoulBurn, now you're positive that Raven has strong feelings for me, Right?" A quite laugh was heard as SoulBurn walked past Robin inside.
"Do not ask questions that you already know the answer to in your heart. Some answers are best heard only within yourself, not from a stranger." And with that SoulBurn disappeared into the darkness of the staircase as Robin remained contemplating the final words. For the first time in awhile, the silence was not unbearable.
