A/N: Oh my gosh it's been so so so so so long since I have updated ANYTHING, and I apologize for that. I will begin to update my older stories during Spring Break in March, I know that seems quite a bit away, but I have a ton of things going on at the present moment that take up my time. However, I constantly get e-mails from Fanfic about author alerts, and I truly felt as if I had abandoned all of you. So here I go updating a story. I hope you can forgive this old teenager for being so busy, but if it makes all of you happier, my winterguard is doing VERY well this season.
Love you all!
Farley.
Disclamier: I don't own HP but I do own Sophia.
The remainder of the night passed rather slowly, and Sophia did not see Remus again until the next morning at breakfast. She retired to bed early but found her self open to a night of tossing and turning that led well up into the early morning hours. Finally around five a.m. she was able to catch an hours worth of sleep, but that was interrupted with an explosion down below her room. Sophia sat straight up in bed and groaned at the intruding sunlight. Cautiously, she placed her feet onto the floor and moved to the adjoining bathroom to take a quick shower. Twenty minutes later and with little refreshment, Sophia padded downstairs to the kitchen. She was immediately greeted with a room full of laughter and the portrait of Remus and Tonks looking very much like a couple. Sirius looked up at Sophia as she sat next to him. He looked her over thoroughly and then leaned in to speak.
"Rough night?" He whispered.
Sophia cracked a small smile as she replied. "I guess you could say that."
Sirius was about to respond when breakfast was placed in front of them and Molly urged them on. "Eat…eat. I'll be appalled if you don't." Sophia smiled at the woman and gave into her temptations.
-
All through the meal, Remus kept glancing at Sophia whom seemed to have her eyes glued to the plate below her. At some point he turned completely away from Tonks and Sophia seemed to visibly relax. Strange. He thought to himself. Conversation ensued with everyone at the table, but Sophia kept to herself and Remus slowly removed himself to look over at Sophia. She was the first to finish her meal and she quickly and politely excused herself from the table. After a minutes Remus did the same.
He walked the steps up to her room and once he was at her door he knocked. He waited a few moments then did so again. Sophia finally opened the door and Remus pushed past, leaving Sophia to hold the edge of the door. She turned to him expectantly and raised her eyebrows questioningly. Remus began.
"Is everything alright?" She looked at him strangely and Remus decided to continue. "You seemed rather quiet all through breakfastand last night you didn't even introduce yourself to Tonks."
"I didn't realize I was supposed to. She seemed rather busy." Sophia said emotionlessly.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" Remus asked, quite shocked by her accusing words.
"Are you two an item?" Sophia inquired.
"What does that-"
"Then you should know what I meant." Sophia interrupted.
Remus began to grow annoyed, "I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to have relationships with other women."
Sophia groaned, "That isn't what I meant Remus and you damn well know it."
"Is it Sophia? Because judging by your reactions to Tonks, who is a wonderful lady by the way, I think you expected me to wait for you or something."
"What would you know of my 'reactions,' and I'm sure she is a 'wonderful lady,' excuse me if I was rude but it was just a shock. I however did not expect you to wait for me. You made it quite clear when I leftthat you had no intentions of doing so."
"And it goes back to that…" Remus said coldly.
"Of course it goes back to that! I loved you and you-"
"I what Sophia? What is it that I did? Break up with someone because she obviously cared more for herself than she ever would me? Break up with a coward? Merlin knows that would never make sense now would it?"
"Shut up just shut up!" Sophia screamed.
"How mature." Remus mocked.
"Go to hell."
"What would you know of hell Sophia? You've probably been living this wonderful life in paradise while I have waited here watching the world I once knew waste away. I watched my friends die, I watched good men die, and I watched evil men succeed. What do you know of hell Sophia? I have lived it, I have already been condemned."
"Since when did you become a man of weakness?" Sophia murmured.
Remus barked a laugh, "Me? Weak? Perhaps, but know this Sophia Miller, I am stronger than you will ever be!"
"What do you know of me to judge me Remus? You haven't seen me for over nineteen years and yet you think you know me so well? And I know nothing of hell? Try seeing your two best friends die and knowing there is nothing you could do about it. Try waiting seventeen years to finally be able to return to the world you had to leave for the soul purpose of protecting one little boy who never even asked to defeat Voldermort. I have tracked that bastard for years and his spineless followers, and yet I could do nothing to stop him, nothing! I know my fate Remus, and whether it be a fools errand or not, I know whom I have to face. Perhaps it was for the best that our relationship ended so long ago, but I'll be damned if I ever stop loving you!" Sophia screamed. At the end part she quickly covered her mouth and turned to the opposite wall. Silent tears burned down her face and for a while Remus said nothing.
"You saw Lily and James die?" He asked her finally. Sophia's shoulders shook but she nodded. "What did you see of Sirius?"
"I visited him once in Azkaban, I knew he never murdered Peter." She whispered.
"What have you seen of me?" He asked her. Sophia stood still and said nothing. Remus walked up behind her yet she still said nothing. "Sophia?" She dipped her head even further. Remus finally wrapped his arms around her and forced her to face him, his eyes searched hers.
"Please." She whispered brokenly. Remus pulled her in tightly and soon felt her tears soak through his shirt and straight to his heart. He held her even tighter. Sophia soon began to weep openly. Not loudly, but enough to cause Remus's own eyes to tear up.
"Is that why you left?" Sophia did not answer, and Remus took that for a yes. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't." Was her only reply. Finally she looked up at Remus and he wiped a falling tear from her eye.
"So you left." He stated.
"So I left." She responded, and at that moment Remus leaned down and kissed Sophia soundly, but all too quickly it ended and Remus pulled away.
"I shouldn't have done that."
"I understand." Though she did not.
"It can't happen again."
"It won't." Sophia resolved.
"I should go."
Sophia smiled softly at him as she responded. "You should go." Remus nodded and left the room. Sophia turned her attentions to the window once more when images began to flash through her mind. She collapsed to the floor with the painful images strong enough to dizzy her. It was not until Sirius ran in a few hours later that she woke up.
A/N: Review…or not. Quite Dramatic, but I needed it to further the story on. Next chappie…all go to Hogwarts!
And I know you all want the goods on Sirius's return, I promise it will come soon enough, just don't wet yourself in anticipation.
