1
"I'm ready." He said after nearly thirty minutes of silence. Kayla had sat with him while he calmed down from the nightmare and thought he had fallen asleep when he spoke.
"Are you sure?" She knew exactly what he meant.
"The thing is...I'm never gonna be 100 ready to do it, but I can't keep putting it off forever, you know?" He rolled over in their bed, propping himself up on his elbow to look into her eyes. "I know most people don't understand, but I have to see her." He had given it a great deal of thought. He knew that visiting Kelly Gordon in prison wasn't condoned by his co-workers. They told him how cruel she was when they were looking for him, how she wished him dead. But Nick knew she didn't mean it, and wanted the chance to confront her himself.
"I understand," she said, reaching up to stroke his face. "I never got the chance to tell Cy how he hurt me, how much anger I felt toward him. I can understand the need."
"It's not that, Kayla." He cut her off, searching for the words to describe his need to confront the daughter of his would-be murderer. "It's a cycle. If she holds on to her anger, she'll only end up hurting someone else. She can't take it with her. I don't know how to explain it."
"Okay." She accepted his explanation on pure faith. "I'll go with you."
Nick looked down at her and lowered his lips to hers. Neither really knew at what point over the past three months their relationship turned from friendship to something more. But they suddenly found themselves in this new place. Kayla had transferred back to the Vegas office and was unofficially living with Nick. She suspected that it was his need for human contact and compassion that drove him to bed with her, but she felt the same need deep inside herself, so she didn't question his motives. It was as healing for him as it was for her. She only worried what would happen when he went back to work and got on with his life...would she still be a part of it?
The next morning, Kayla sat quietly in the passenger seat of Nick's SUV, listening to the only country station in Las Vegas and watching the desert rush by in the window. Neither spoke since getting up and getting ready. Nick was lost in his own thoughts. Apprehensive and determined, he had no idea what he would face in that prison, but he hoped even seeing her face would allow him to heal a little bit more. And maybe help her as well. Kayla was saying a silent prayer that this would help Nick and not hurt him further. He was strong, a lot stronger than he had been for a while. But she didn't know what kind of hateful things this woman, who was carrying so much anger, might say.
He was inside for nearly 45 minutes. Kayla sat patiently in the car, only checking her work voice mail once. She chewed on her cuticles nervously. She told him to take all the time he needed. When he finally emerged from the front entrance of the women's prison, he had a strange look on his face. She couldn't tell at first if it went well or not. Walking up to the dark blue Denali, Nick tilted his face into the blazing Vegas sun. Squinting his eyes, Kayla swore he was smiling. She waited anxiously for him to climb back into the driver's seat.
"Well? How did it go?" She was turned completely sideways in her seat, searching his face for any indication of what happened.
Nick stared through the windshield at the prison for a minute. "It went as well as could be expected. She's angry. Angry at her father. Angry at me."
"Angry at you?" Kayla didn't understand.
Nick turned to her. "I represent the people that put her in that hell. I collect evidence, evidence that placed her at the crime scene. It wasn't me who processed that cup, but I'm close enough."
Kayla was silent, waiting for him to finish. "I felt bad, there was nothing I could do for her. But I said my piece. Said as much as she would let me." He voice wavered with barely checked emotion. Nodding, Nick effectively finished the conversation, and Kayla knew he would say no more about his visit with Kelly.
He turned the keys in the engine, lowering the volume on the radio that seemed louder than he remembered. Making a u-turn in the dust, Nick began the return drive to Vegas, never once looking back.
