Nothing
By: Jaina-Elessar

Disclaimer: Same as usual…everything belongs to Mr. Lucas…sigh

Timeframe: Rots, the Jedi Purges

Summary: The fall of a Jedi, one of the many during the dark times of the Jedi Purges. (Order 66 Challenge Response)

Keywords: soldier, empty, nothing

Genre: angst, drama

AN: This is my second response to the Order 66 Challenge, hope you like!


"Didn't you see me, didn't you hear me
Didn't you see me standing there
Why did you turn out the lights?"

-The Cranberries


Your eyes…they're so empty. The way they stare so blankly out of their sockets hurts me, makes me want to give you something to live for. The way your motions are so automatic- so droid-like and precise, hurts me. I wish there were something more for you than this monotonous life. War isn't the life for anyone, and yet it's what you were created for, your sole purpose.

I suppose my life should be flashing before me about now, distant memories of my childhood, my family, mentors and such. But I just think of you…you've never known parents or friends, or even had a crying shoulder after a hard day. All you know is war. And I would change that in a second. I would trade with you in quick flash of snapping fingers if it meant your happiness, if it meant your eyes would hold some warmth, if it meant your movements would hold some joy.

But most of all what hurts me are your words. Your voice is so deep…and yet holds no depth. It's so very real…and yet sounds as though it's from a dream, another life…somewhere other than right here, right now, this very day. Your voice holds no trace of emotion, no sign of pity, sympathy, anger or malice. There's nothing. That causes an unimaginable hurt deep within my soul, and I feel desperate to try to give you the world.

Despite all I wish I could do, or all that I want to do, your thin, plain lips that hold such little color form the dreaded words. Your voice, so strangely distant and unfeeling startles me, and sends chills down my spine.

"It will be done, my lord." You say, and still there is nothing.

Almost the instant you put your comm. away and your hand fell down to your waist, finding the spot where your blaster hung from your hip, I knew what fate awaited me. And so did you.

I knew the Jedi had been betrayed, and so did you. I knew that the galaxy was slowly sliding into darkness, and so did you. I knew that soon, my life would be gone, at your hands, and so did you. Still, nothing.

I felt strangely empty as I watched you raise your blaster to point at my stomach, and then my heart. I felt…empty. Perhaps my sorrow ran deep enough that I had become numb…and I pity you, because I know that's not what happened to you.

The blaster clicks at the touch of your thumb, and then it is ready to shoot. Ready for you to pull the trigger and steal away my life.

I would have died for you so easily. I would have sacrificed myself for you, would have allowed you to continue drawing breath, and so many other simple things taken granted for these days.

Instead we are here, and it hurts me. Your eyes…those empty, blank eyes! They stare back into my own, and I know that you still feel nothing.

I don't even attempt to defend myself as the shot comes. I can almost feel it tearing towards me, burning bright…

I'm spinning now, slowly…the force of your shot has sent me reeling in a long arc, and I know that my time is coming. Everything is starting to blur. My breathing is ragged; I can no longer smell the sweet scent of the flowers…were there flowers? The air smells different, thinner maybe…were we on a mountain? Everything is growing dark…except you.

The soldier clad in white, which is all you are…a soldier.

I think I'm on the ground now…it's so hard to tell. Even you have faded into darkness now, even that cold, white armor of yours, that armor that holds you in from the rest of the world has blended into the black abyss. All I see now is your eyes; they are the only things that come in clearly. Those blank, empty orbs watch me as I fall, and still there is nothing.

It's time for me to let go now…and I have one last thought. Because of you and the tightening of your finger on the trigger of that blaster…I will become in my death, what you always were in life…

Nothing.