1

That following Monday, Nick slid into his driver's seat and smiled. He was nervous about returning to work, but had no apprehensions about being inside the lab. In fact, he looked forward to flexing his mental muscles again. Kayla stood at his door. "Baby, don't look so worried." He leaned out and kissed her softly on the mouth. "I'll be at the lab, no field work. And you can check in with me any time, okay?"

"Okay," she said softly, standing back to let him drive away. She watched the car disappear down the street and sighed loudly. "See you soon."

Nick's return to the lab was quiet, just as he hoped. Sure, people stopped their conversations to look at him when he walked down the hall, but he didn't pay attention. Taking up residence in the evidence room, a few people came by to say hello and welcome him back. No one mentioned the kidnaping, only that they missed him.

He noticed the changes right away. More police presence, teams of two or three heading to crime scenes. They had gotten firmer about having police protection at the scene. It wasn't bad enough that Holly died, or that Catherine and Sara had both been attacked when police weren't watching. It was Nick's incident that finally prompted the police into action. Now every CSI had at least one other team member and a police escort at every call that was never sent home. He appreciated the changes, and knew when he finally made it back into the field, he'd feel a bit safer.

Nick worked on a consultant basis. He helped Warrick and Sara with their cases, running in-lab experiments and piecing evidence together. It wasn't as exciting as field work, but Nick appreciated being able to ease his way back into things. He'd been gone a long time.

That first day, he came home feeling great. Exhilarated, he shared breakfast with Kayla and filled her in on the case and the breaks he was able to make. He felt a renewed sense of purpose and told her he had no doubts about his decision to go back. Kayla smiled at his excitement and quietly listened through the whole breakfast. When Nick finally stopped rambling, he asked how her day was.

Kayla paused, swallowing heavily. She had been dreading this moment. "I put in for a transfer," she said quietly. Tears threatened to surface and were closing off her throat. She stared at her plate, unable to look Nick in the eyes as she told him. "I figured, you were going back to work. You're doing great with your therapy. You probably want to get back to your real life, your normal routine."

He was quiet, mouth open. He couldn't believe was he was hearing. "Kayla, I don't understand. What are you talking about? What transfer?"

She soldiered on, quietly wiping away a stray tear. "I just figured that you'd want your life back...and that I should get going, find my own place, you know."

"No. No I don't know." Nick fought back a surge of emotion. He stood up and came around to her side of the table. Kneeling down, her swung her knees toward him and looked up into her face. "My life before you...was nothing. I mean, I thought I knew what I wanted, but I had no idea. Why would I want you to leave? You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Kayla stood up roughly, stepping around him and marching into the living room. "You don't mean that." She shouted, turning to face the bewildered man. "Nick, you were going through a trauma. I helped you. Its only natural that you feel some sort of attachment to me. But its not real, its not love. We got comfortable with each other, but its not like we were dating or anything."

"Hey, hey, now stop." He walked forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Don't act like what he have isn't real. We might not have stopped to define it, but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

"You don't love me." She said simply. Finally raising her head to look him straight in the eyes. "You love the idea of me."

Turning away, Kayla grabbed her keys and purse off the side table and walked out the door. She needed to clear her head. Telling Nick she was leaving was the most difficult thing she'd ever done. There was no doubt that she loved him. Loved him more than she thought possible. But she knew, psychologically, he wasn't in love with her.

She made it to her car door before Nick caught up with her. "Kay, wait." He grabbed her arm gently and turned her to face him. "Look, this relationship didn't exactly start under the ideal circumstances. And I won't begrudge you the fact that you did save me. You did for me what no other person could. You saw me at my absolute worst. Now, give me a chance to show you my best. I understand how people could think that I fell in love with you because you held me when I cried and made sure I got back to sleep after a nightmare. I get it. But dammit Kayla, life is too short, and I know what I feel for you is real. I love you. Please, I love you, and I'm not going to let you get in that car and drive out of my life." He stared at her, breathing hard, watching the tears run streaks down her face. "Please..." he begged. "Please come inside."

Kayla stood at an impasse. Trust had never been her best quality. She wanted to give in to him, to let her love flow through her like an electric current. She wanted to hide in his arms forever, reassuring each other that no bad could come to them again as long as they were together. She wanted a future with Nick. But a small part of her still doubted that he could return the feelings she felt for him without an ulterior motive.

While she grappled with her feelings, Nick took the situation into his own hands, literally. Cupping her face with his strong hands, he kissed her hard, pouring his love, compassion and unbridled emotion into the kiss. If she wouldn't believe his words, she would have to believe what she felt when he kissed her. She whimpered softly, and he seized the opportunity to deepen the kiss. Moving his arms, he held her firmly in his embrace, kissing her with every hope he had left.

Giving in, Kayla returned the kiss with her own display of love and emotion. She reveled in the way his lips felt on hers, his hands snaking patterns across her back. She accepted what he said. Accepted his love and offered her own.

Breaking contact, he held her tightly, swaying back and forth slightly. "I love you so much." He whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she murmured through a fresh sob.

He stepped back reluctantly and took her hand. Looking at her the whole way, Nick led her back into his house and firmly closed the door.