AN: I wrote this quite a while ago. It was based on something that happened to me in real life and fanfiction provided me with a much-needed outlet. This was my first one-shot and I have decided to revise the writing. The dialogue however, will remain as it was in the first version. I do not have the heart to paraphrase the words of such an event in my life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the song 'My Tourniquet'


She ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. Her hair whipped about her face, the straggly tree branches dug into her skin, and her blood fell freely down her skin. Finally she stumbled into a clearing, and struggled to catch her breath. It didn't work and after a moment she collapsed to her knees. The exhaustion from her run and the despair from what had caused her to run only made her cry all over again. Tears dribbled down her dirtied face and melded with the slight trickle of blood from her flight away from camp.

I tried to kill the pain

But only brought more

(So much more)

The painful thud of her heart made her sob and she clutched her chest shakily. "Why? Why would…it hurts so bad. My heart is…really kind of stupid. To fall for a man that would tell me he loves me…then turn around and be with another woman?"

She choked back another sob, ignorant to the way her nails dug into her skin; she was too numb to notice.

"And…and Sango! I…she was my friend…I trusted her. And she…she… I wish the pain would just end. I…wish I never fell down that stupid well!"

I lay dying

And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

The young miko screamed out her pain to the winds as tears continued to fall from her eyes. She climbed to her feet with mechanical movement and walked over to the edge of the river; it ran along the edge of the clearing and into the forest, she was even sure it ran up to Edo. That didn't matter anymore though. She would never see Edo again. She dipped her feet into the cool water and was numb the sting that it sent throughout the abrasions that lined her skin.

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

"It… it hurts too bad. I've… I've tried to be a good friend to them and right now…they were all I had. I guess…that wasn't good enough. I'll let…Kikyo take my place. She will…has always been...a better miko than me."

My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

She stared sadly at the stars in the sky, as she knew it would be her last time. Her eyes threatened to release another round of tears but she refrained. She had no reason to cry. After all, they had made a point of telling her that it was her fault. "It is… isn't it?"

Another painful thud of her heart startled her, until she felt nothing. A wry smile twisted her lips and she shook her head. Her heart was like the Shikon no Tama. It had been shattered, but there was a difference between the jewel and herself. Unlike the Shikon, her heart would never be mended. When something was broken too many times, the cracks would always remain.

Besides, she would no longer be around for the chance to be mended.

Do you remember me?

Lost for so long

As she stood there and stared at her reflection in the water, she reminisced. She thought on what had made her come to such a decision. As she ran through the memory, she knew it was the correct one to make.


"Kagome may I speak with you?"

The slayer had looked at her oddly, an expression on her face that Kagome had never seen before. All the same, Kagome shrugged it off and offered a smile to her friend.

"Sure Sango. What is it?"

The slayer's gaze hardened, and her tone dropped an octove. Kagome froze and waited for her to speak. Something was wrong. "I know you saw Inuyasha with Kikyo again."

Will you be on the other side?

or will you forget me?

The miko had taken a sharp gasp of air. She didn't want to talk about such a thing right away and she had thought that Sango respected her enough not to bring up such a topic. She stood, and looked sadly at the slayer. "Sango I-"

However, Sango did not stop. She stared the miko down, and effectively silenced the younger girl with her gaze.

"No Kagome, don't leave or tune me out yet. You have succeeded to hurt your closest friends. Oh I'm not about to rant, I just have one thing to tell you." Sango cleared her throat and continued to speak; she ignored the heartbroken and betrayed look on the miko's face. "You have filled betrayal through our veins, it has clouded our hearts, you were the wrong person in that relationship and out of it, and we have no pity for you. And as easy as it was for you to lie, it's easy for me to walk away"

I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming

The young miko starred wide-eyed at the woman she had considered her best friend and sister. "Sango… I never lied to any of you! Why are you doing this to me?"

The slayer only stared at her, a faux compassion in her gaze. "You are in denial Kagome. If I hurt you I am truly sorry"

"I never lied to anyone. I don't know where you even got that idea. I thought of you like a sister Sango... like my closest and most trusted friend. I've never lied to you or anyone else." She blinked back her tears and stood up straight. "I'm not in denial because I have nothing to deny."

Sango said nothing, even as the miko lost the battle not to cry. She only stared.

"At this point... I don't really have anything to live for at all. I get jumped at school, and betrayed by people that I thought I could trust. I can't live like this anymore... and I was just pushed over the line."

Am I too lost to be saved?

Am I too lost?

"I don't know about you anymore. You confuse me to the limits"

The chill of Sango's voice almost made Kagome shudder, but in the end she didn't. Instead, she offered the other woman a broken expression. "I have nothing else that I can say to you. Do what you want. It may hurt me but I'd rather die than have my friends hurt. And that I'm serious about."

Tears formed at the corner of her eyes and she turned around and began to run, never to look back.

Sango never even called after her.


My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

She couldn't look back. her backpack –how she had managed to carry it throughout her dash through the forest she couldn't figure out and didn't bother to do so- fell to the ground with a thud and she dove into the water. The chill numbed the ache of her body as she sunk to the bottom. She would never surface, and she accepted that, even as her lungs began to burn.

(Return to me salvation)

(I want to die)

She loved them that much. She would die, if it would make them happy. Without the love of her friends, she could not stand any longer. It was only with their support that she had made it as far as she had.

It had all been lies, though. There had never been any real support; they had only tolerated her. They had only brushed off the way her heart had been broken. The one she trusted the most had thrown it back in her face. Her faith in such friendship had been utterly shattered.

My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

My God, my tourniquet

Return To Me Salvation

Black dots swam across her vision and she noted faintly that the burning of her lungs had worsened; her lips parted and water filled them. It was okay though, because it would make them happy. So Kagome smiled and knew no more.

My wounds cry for the grave

My soul cries for deliverance

Will I be denied Christ? (Christ)

The miko was dead. Never again would anyone hurt her. She had reached her serenity and she had found peace. Nobody could hurt her any longer.

Tourniquet

My suicide


Kikyo sat in the branches of a grand tree as her soul collectors floated about; their presence offered an ethereal glow to her, but she knew that her existence alone was ethereal in itself. As souls were fed to her she felt a sudden jolt; her gaze shot up just in time to see the orb of a soul that was much larger than the rest fly into her hands. She knew what it was; she could feel it as the souls within her stirred restlessly. A saddened smile touched her lips as the light –dimmer than the last time she had seen it- sunk into her. She was complete, and she felt the heart that she had been without for so long as it fluttered throughout her.

"Miko Kagome… you've learned just how painful it is to love. How dangerous it is to trust…it saddens me that my curse has passed onto you." She lowered her head and whispered a prayer. She was undead, and she had lived on hatred for so long, but she was a miko all the same. "It is a shame… that you have had to suffer my legacy. You have died for those you've loved as well. For that, I am sorry."


AN: Yes I wrote this quite a long time ago. I'm sure you can all tell I was mighty depressed. So I decided to revise it because I don't have the heart to delete it.

Hope you all enjoyed

-CherryBlossomLove