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Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the Teen Titans so don't even try suing me for the minuscule property I have.
Ch 29: Looking for a Second Chance
The members of Titan's East left at about noon after hanging out for a little longer. Cyborg was the most upset about them leaving because he probably wouldn't get to see Bumble Bee for a while. One would think the house would get quieter after the leaving of the 5 members but thanks to an all out video game battle between Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Robin, the tower managed to stay as nosy as ever.
Eventually fed up with the insults, yelling, and arguing, Terra, Starfire, and Blackfire decided to head to the mall for awhile to relax. They had asked Raven to go but she politely said no because she needed to meditate. The serious tone of her voice made it clear that it was very important.
SoulBurn seemed to take no interest in any of the happenings though he did watch the boys play video games for a while. For a few hours he had been fighting a battle against his stomach to keep Starfire's cooking inside and in the end had been successful. After a few yawns, he realized just how tired he was and decided to go sleep in his room. He had not slept well last night due to being on the floor as well as the nightmares and sparring with Robin had taken more out of him than he thought. It was only 3 o'clock in the afternoon when he crawled into bed and closed his eyes, thankfully not encountering any nightmares or simply his own memories.
The sun had set before the girls finally came home from the mall. Terra had been amazed to see drastic changes in Blackfire that seemed to have occurred over night. The whole time they had been at the mall she had been considerate and overly friendly to her little sister. She had even helped Terra pick out some clothes, never once making a mean spirited comment. Terra wasn't sure what had happened but was definitely happy with this new Blackfire. They were still chatting as they walked in the door.
"Beast Boy is going to go absolutely crazy when he sees you in some of the clothes you picked out Terra. He'll probably drool over you more than usual."
"Yes friend Terra. You will look most stunning. I can't wait for the day I have a special person to show off my clothes to." Terra felt a small smile form on her face.
"Well the way you and Speedy acted last night I'd say that might not be that far off from happening." Starfire's face immediately turned bright red at the comment and she started giggling nervously to herself.
"I do not know what you are talking about friend Terra." Blackfire gave Starfire a small pat on the back.
"Way to go Kori. I had no idea you had the hots for Speedy." Starfire somehow found a way to turn even redder.
"Yeah Star. I think you two are so cute together. If you ever need any relationship advice, I'm sure both me and your sis could help."
"I appreciate that Terra. You will be the first ones I come to if I require such assistance." Realizing they had teased Starfire enough, the other two females simply laughed and placed their bags on the kitchen table. The loud grumbling from Terra's stomach was suddenly heard.
"Looks like its time to eat. Who wants pasta?" The two Tamaranians smiled with pleasure at the idea.
The meal was cooked and eaten as the girls continued to talk about a wide range of topics though none of them serious. They decided to watch a movie and were eventually joined by all the other titans minus SoulBurn, Robin telling them that he had already gone to sleep. Raven even eventually came down to join them and was closely snuggled up against Robin on the couch the entire time they watched.
Though this was not uncommon to see, they did appear slightly more relaxed and comfortable. Robin could be seen whispering things in Raven's ear causing her to giggle which was definitely not all that normal. Watching their interaction, Terra had an idea of what they had done last night and smiled. They were acting just like her and Beast Boy after their first night together. She laughed inside her mind. It was about time. Now maybe they'll both stop being so uptight about so many things.
Eventually the movie came to an end and everyone decided to go get some sleep. It was very noticeable when Raven said goodnight and phased herself away and Robin could be seen running as fast as he could in the direction of her room. Everyone but Beast Boy and Starfire laughed at the action as those two had no idea what was going on. Beast Boy was well Beast Boy and oblivious to almost everything and Starfire was just naïve on that manner. Nobody wanted to try and explain it to her because well what can be more awkward than explaining the facts of life to sweet little Starfire. Blackfire knew in her head that eventually she would have to be the one to do it. If there was ever a reason to get drunk before doing something, that would probably be it.
Blackfire chuckled silently to herself as she started walking toward her room but eventually found herself stopping in front of SoulBurn's door. She didn't know why, but she suddenly had the urge for some answers. She had been planning on trying to subtly obtain information from the Titans over the course of a few days but now she realized she couldn't wait that long and what better way to approach this than by directly going to the source. She knocked quietly on the door as to make sure no one heard her except the room's occupant. Inside, SoulBurn found himself being woken from his dreamless sleep by the sound of someone at his door. The fact that he could not sense anyone there most likely meant it was Blackfire. He let out a deep sigh. She had come sooner than he would have liked.
"Just a moment." SoulBurn pulled on a shirt and walked over to the door and opened it. There as he thought stood Blackfire with a slightly anxious look on her face. She was still in the jeans and t-shirt she had been in earlier which was definitely the most conservative thing she had worn since he had met her. He felt more relaxed around her when she wasn't half naked. Blackfire looked at SoulBurn for a second and walked into his room without so much as a word. She sat on the bed like it was her room and motioned for SoulBurn to sit down in a nearby chair. She certainly was willful. SoulBurn quietly walked over to the chair and sat down. There was a silence for a few moments before SoulBurn spoke.
"I would just like to say I'm sorry about last night Blackfire. I had no right to harm you and yell at you the way I did. You don't have to forgive me if you don't want to but I am truly sorry." Blackfire studied SoulBurn's face and could see the sincerity in it. This was the person that fit Starfire's description. Blackfire couldn't help but stare into his eyes. They were so unusual and she found herself liking them.
"I have a lot to apologize for too. I shouldn't have said those things about you or my sister and I most definitely shouldn't have acted the way I did. I also should thank you for stopping those guys from taking advantage of me. It must be hard to believe but an apparent whore like me is still a virgin and I'm glad you were there to stop me from losing that."
"Do not speak down on yourself. It would upset your sister a lot if she heard you speaking like that and I can't say I like it either very much." Once again Blackfire was amazed by the concern in his voice. Blackfire wasn't used to relative strangers being so kind but then of course it was usually because she wasn't very nice.
"You're right. Now that the apologies are out of the way I came here for some answers. Nobody seems to want to talk about you or what happened before I arrived and the fact that you knew something about me that only one other living being I can think of knows I need to know things. I need to know how you knew about me not having a soul." SoulBurn could see the pained expression on Blackfire's face as she spoke.
"How about a deal Blackfire. I will tell you my story, and in turn you must tell me your story."
"That sounds fair SoulBurn but I warn you that you may look down on me after hearing this." SoulBurn gave her a somber smile.
"I could say the exact same thing. I am partly responsible for a great number of terrible things."
"Well lets hear it SoulBurn. The sooner I know what's going on the better." With a deep sigh, SoulBurn started his tale.
During the course of the tale, Blackfire found herself being completely overwhelmed by what he was telling her. Heaven, Hell, a universe ending prophecy, him being a fallen angel. It all seemed so unrea,l but she could tell by the pain in his eyes that it was true. She also recognized the name Trigon, a name she hoped she would never have to hear again. Blackfire couldn't help but pity this tortured soul in front of her.
Despite all his best efforts, there was still so much blood on his hands. Despite saving every living thing in existence, he was still forced to endure terrible pain and torment beyond anything she could even fathom. She didn't realize until he told her that he had no been joking last night when he truly said he had been in Hell. She realized that her own hellish experiences though horrible, were nothing compared to what he had endured. She had obtained a new found respect for this young man in front of her, a higher respect than she had ever felt toward anyone before. So much tragedy and death followed him around yet he continued to endure.
After everything, he still managed to maintainhis sanity and still was able to find hope in the world, hope in the Titans, hope in her baby sister. In a way she could understand that. Her sister represented hope for her as well, hope for a second chance. Blackfire now understood his vast powers and the connections he had to everything and how it allowed him to see into people's souls. How that power had been exploited for evil but also used for good, how the power allowed him to know her shameful secret. When he finally finished speaking Blackfire wasn't really sure what to say so she said the first thing that came to her mind.
"Well that definitely sucks." She immediately started yelling a herself in her head for saying something so stupid. Now he'll think she's an inconsiderate moron. However, SoulBurn only laughed at her comment.
"Yes Blackfire, that is one way of putting it. It certainly did suck." Blackfire couldn't help but laugh as well. It was nice how he didn't make her feel stupid for what she had said but instead just went with it. She really could see why Starfire adored him so much.
"I am truly sorry for everything you've had to endure SoulBurn. I guess I should thank you for saving me and the Universe but I don't think a simple thank you is enough." Once again SoulBurn laughed.
"Oh please don't turn into the rest of the Titan's Blackfire. I did what I did because it was right and I'd do it again even if I knew what I would have to suffer. I don't need everyone constantly thanking me and telling me they owe me. I would very much just like it if you just treated me like any other superpowered being hanging out in a giant T-shaped tower." Both of them broke out in laughter at his comment. Sometimes they forgot just how weird normal was for them.
"Alright SB. I'll treat you like you aren't the hero of the universe who saved all existence. How's that sound." SoulBurn smiled.
"Sounds good but could you not call me SB. It sounds too much like BB and no offense to Beast Boy, I'd rather not have to be reminded of him every time you say that."
"Alright, no nicknames for you." The two of them eventually settled back into a quiet mood. "Well I guess its time for my story. No one else knows parts of this so I trust that you will keep your mouth shut about anything I say."
"I promise."
"Well this all starts back to when me and Kori were only young children. My parents always favored her after she was born. She was always smiling and everyone loved how sweet she was while I was mostly forgotten." SoulBurn could hear the bitterness in Blackfire's voice toward her parents.
"One day a seer told my parents that Kori should be placed as first-in-line to the thrown because he saw great things in her future while he saw only darkness in mine. From that day on, she was placed ahead of me, given the best teaching, the best clothes, the best toys. I grew angrier with each passing day, however, Kori was the only one who never treated me any differently. She still followed me around like a puppy always wanting to play and hug me. I think that maybe she was the one who kept me sane when everyone else around me was either afraid of me because of my predicted future or would point and snicker as I passed.
Then came that fateful day that still haunts me. I was 6 and my sister 4. Tamaran was at war with another world and an assassin had slipped into the royal palace to kill my parents and their heirs which was me and Kori. I still remember watching my father killed. I still remember right before my mother died, that she pleaded for the assassin to spare her Starfire, to allow her darling baby to live." SoulBurn could see Blackfire clenching her fists as some tears started falling.
"Never once did my mother plead for my life. Never once did she ask that I survive. All she cared about was Starfire, not me. Her last words before she was killed were I love you Kori." The tears were now falling freely from Blackfire's eyes. SoulBurn got up and sat next to her on the bed and gently took her hand into is. She looked up with such raw pain that it hurt to see. Eventually Blackfire calmed down. Her voice was now quieter but still filled with bitterness.
"The assassin came for us next. I remember feeling the gun pushed against my head waiting for death knowing that if would bother no one. However, it was not to be. Starfire's guardian Galfore arrived and saved us both. I remember him taking Kori into his arms telling her everything would be alright while I simply stood in the darkness alone."
"Starfire has never mentioned any of this before. Have you not told her?"
"How come you've never told her about your experiences in Hell?" SoulBurn responded.
"I do not want her to know the horror I suffered. She does not need to know such things occurred. It would only damper her shining light."
"I later learned that Starfire does not remember any of what happened and I guess in a way this was the last nice thing I ever did for her back then. I never told her the events of that night and allowed her to be free of the knowledge I carried. I allowed her to remain innocent and keep that perfect image of her loving parents. The events of that night had a drastic effect on me. Are you aware of how we Tamaranians use our power through certain emotions?" SoulBurn nodded in agreement.
"My life up to that point had embittered me slowly. However, my mother's final actions made me far angrier and hateful then even I thought possible. I desired revenge on my parents though I could never have it because of their deaths. All these raging and terrible emotions ended up leaving me powerless. I no longer could feel the righteousness and other positive emotions I needed to work my powers. It made me even more of an outcast, made me more distant from my sister. I was forced to watch her fly around the palace without a care in the world as I was forced to be firmly planted on the ground. She still wished to be around me and play with me but I only pushed her away. In time I became jealous of my sister, angry at her for having her powers still, angry for her having everything I could not. I started treating her like garbage, calling her names and saying hurtful words. I would cause her to run away crying or hold her head in shame.
Eventually I got so sick of even seeing her that right after I turned 13 I left. I left a planet that could care less that existed, I left a sister who I despised with every fiber of my being. The only things I had were my anger and my hate to keep me going." SoulBurn could feel the pain talking about all these old memories was causing Blackfire. He was impressed that she able to keep going as she did. She was indeed a strong person.
"I flew around the universe for over 3 years never stopping in one place for too long. Eventually I came to a dark little planet of fire. It was there that I met a dark priest who made an offer I could not refuse. He told me he could bring back my powers, give me the strength to have everything I ever wanted, to have my revenge on my sister. All I had to do was offer my soul to a being called Trigon and the power would be mine. I agreed without hesitation. "
"I remember the feeling of my powers returning, how invigorating it was. When I think about it now, I should have been overjoyed to be able to fly again but instead my thoughts were completely consumed by revenge. I was happy, but only happy cause I could now harm my little sister. It took another year to find my little sister's location. She was now living on Earth as a Titan with all new friends and a whole other planet that absolutely adored her. That was when I tried to destroy her the first time. I'm sure you know exactly what I did on both occasions do you not." SoulBurn somberly nodded his head in agreement."
"Even as I was consumed by my anger, I still remember that when I returned the first time, that my sister still welcomed me with open arms. I remember how happy she was to see me again even though I was actually there to ruin her life. I also remember that when I tried to force her to marry and she defeated me in battle, she could have easily had me put to death or even killed me herself. Instead she was merciful and allowed me to go even though she did exile me. I remember her telling me before I was taken away that no matter what she still loved me. I spit at her for that comment, again swore vengeance and only vengeance."
"After being exiled I started becoming very self-destructive. I had absolutely nowhere to go again. I frequently visited the worst of bars, even got into drugs. Getting messed up and then getting into fights was becoming a daily thing. It wasn't long before I landed back in jail only this time, it was far worse. Once again I found myself without my powers as they had special binding that nullified them all." SoulBurn could feel Blackfire squeezing his hand tighter as she continued to speak.
"That prison was so horrible. My cell was little more than a five by five steel box. I would go weeks without seeing light of any kind. Food and water became rare gifts. The guards were absolute monsters, the few times I was even allowed out of my cell was only to be mocked and beaten. Most of the universe does not view the Tamaranian race very highly so they treated me as nothing more than a stray dog. I was afraid to go to sleep for fear that they would come when I was unaware." The tears were once again falling down Blackfire's face and she was now having trouble speaking.
"Then the day came and I knew what they were planning. They were…they were going to rape me. They decided it was the only thing they could do to me to degrade me further. I remember staring at their cold leering eyes as they stood in my cell's doorway. All I could do was curl up as far as I could from them and prayed. I prayed that the one person who still loved me in this universe would come save me. I prayed for Kori to come. In the end, my prayers were answered but in a different way. That particular prison was also the home to a very powerful space pirate and it was at that moment his friends came to break him out. The guards were forced to leave and face the attack.
During the attack, an explosion managed to damage the controls that allowed my bindings to repress my power. I flew out of there as quickly as I could. Normally, I would have stayed and destroyed all of those sadistic guards who hurt me but at that moment, for the first time in so very long, revenge was not my goal. All I wanted to do was see my sister. I realized that I was wrong to blame her for all the things I did. She of all people was the only one who never made me feel less than I was, never said a hurtful word, never stopped caring about me. That is why I returned to Earth and once again my sister welcomed me back with a smile on her face and a hug." SoulBurn could see the small smile that made it to Blackfire's face as she thought of that moment.
"Despite everything, I still had trouble letting everything in my past go. Though I no longer blame my sister for anything, I still carry around a lot of anger toward my parents as well as my home planet. I still find myself being forceful and self destructive and that was why my sister was worried enough about me for you to watch over me. I know I haven't been nice to the rest of the Titans since I've been her and I can't blame them for not liking me, its just been so long since I've been around people like this or even tried to make friends. However, it was last night that you reminded me of my greatest shame. You reminded me of the one thing that I can never escape from, the one thing I can never truly put behind me. I have power now but at the cost of what is supposed to be forever." SoulBurn was surprised when Blackfire hugged him and started crying hard into his shoulder. Not really sure what to do, he just kind of sat there.
"And now after hearing your story I'm so very afraid. I now know for a fact there is a Hell, a far worse place than even that prison I was in. I gave my soul to that monster Trigon and now I'm afraid of what it actually means. All I wanted was a second chance to make things right and now I know that doesn't matter. No matter what I'm going to suffer for all eternity and I'm terrified." Blackfire looked up into SoulBurn's eyes. He could see the raw terror that was in there. The pain and the regret that now wore on her sanity. SoulBurn always found that when he needed to know something, a part of his memories would somehow return and he would understand something he didn't before. Looking into her haunted eyes, he suddenly remembered something from his forgotten past.
"There is still hope for you Blackfire. All is not lost yet." She once again cried into his shoulder.
"How can you say that. You know better than anyone how damned I am." Blackfire was surprised when she felt SoulBurn's arms wrap around her and heard his soothing voice.
"You may be without a soul now but it does not have to end that way. The soul you offered is not Trigon's until after you die but you can get it back. You can redeem yourself and prove yourself worthy of having it back saving yourself." Blackfire tentatively looked at SoulBurn's face.
"How do you know that?" SoulBurn smiled.
"You forget. I was once an angel. I knew a few things most others don't."
"But what can I do to make myself worthy again." Again SoulBurn smiled.
"Just keep doing what your doing Blackfire. Keep loving your sister. Keep trying to make friends and push all that anger and hatred away. Keep helping to protect the innocent. Keep fighting for a second chance because if you do, you will truly get it." Blackfire smiled and her eyes brightened. She had a look of happiness that reminded him so much of her little sister. SoulBurn closed his eyes for a second and thought.
'There is hope for all of us, even me.' SoulBurn was suddenly surprised when he felt warm lips gently press up against his. His eyes shot open and he jumped back slightly only to see a look of sadness cross Blackfire's face and she looked down shamefully.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I understand why you reacted the way you did." SoulBurn gently lifted Blackfire's face until he was looking into her eyes. He could see moisture forming at the corners of her eyes.
"It has nothing bad to do with you Blackfire. It is just right now after everything you've said and heard you are very vulnerable and it would be wrong for me to allow anything to continue. It would be taking advantage of your fragile state right now and I can't do that." Blackfire smiled a little.
"My sister was right. You are a good guy. So I guess that means you won't spend the night with me." SoulBurn's eyes widened and he blushed every so slightly. He tried to talk but only managed to stutter a little as Blackfire laughed.
"That's not what I meant. I just don't want to be alone right now so I was hoping you could stay with me. It would mean a lot to me." Though at this moment Blackfire had a confident smirk on her face, SoulBurn could see the soft pleading in her eyes.
"I will stay with you Blackfire." Blackfire gave him a soft hug. The two ended up sleeping comfortable with Blackfire's arms wrapped happily around SoulBurn.
Unheard to every being in the universe, a malevolent laugh echoed in the deep recesses of SoulBurn's mind. Hidden within the chaotic mess that was SoulBurn's true self, hidden within the darkness the evil had himself had placed there so long ago, a dark presence waited patiently for his time. He had stowed away in the very vessel that had been responsible for his failure to enter the mortal realm before but blended in perfectly behind the barrier in SoulBurn's mind. The presence couldn't help but laugh at the emotional display between Blackfire and Azrael. It was truly sad when dark beings lost their way. Those two could have voluntarily been on his side but now one would have to die and the other would help him once again whether he liked it or not. The dark presence growled deeply. He should have joined me. He's more like me than that treacherous father of his. The presence calmed himself and returned to waiting. His time would come. His time would indeed come.
