Chapter 4

"What time is it?"

"I don't know; you unplugged the clock."

"Yes, that sounds vaguely familiar."

"We can't stay in bed all day."

"You keep saying that, yet you don't get up." This is true. I do keep saying it, and yet I do nothing to get up. Because things go back to normal when we get off this bed. Neither one of us says it, but we both know it's true. And after what just happened, we're both extremely reluctant for things to go back to normal.

"Because you're warm. And cuddly. You've trapped me here with your warmth and cuddliness."

"It's my fault then?"

"Yes."

"Well, I gladly take the blame for this," he says, kissing my forehead. We're back to the me lying on top of him thing. Except that this time, we're both naked, which makes it that much more enjoyable. We're also clinging to each other in near desperation.

"Just remember that when we're talking to CJ and Toby at brunch."

"CJ…Toby."

I can hear the sadness in his voice as he says their names. "Now you're thinking we need to get up."

"Sadly, yes."

I sigh and kiss him one more time. This kiss is different. He holds my face in his hands and our lips barely touch in a very gentle yet lingering kiss. When we part, I smile at him and get up, taking the sheet with me, wrapping it around my body and taking one last look at naked Josh. He is my husband, after all. Then I search through my purse for my cell phone. "10:22."

"10:22?" he asks while slipping on his boxers.

"Yes."

"Didn't we start that around 7:30?" he asks, pointing to the bed.

"7:45ish, yeah."

He nods and raises his eyebrows, clearly impressed with himself. "Damn."

I can't help laughing at that. His ego is, well, quite sexy. "There was a lot of kissing before the actual..."

"Ahh, yes. I liked the kissing."

I raise my eyebrows. "I liked it all, now go get in the shower. I'm starting research."

He smiles at me and goes into the bathroom, and I start feeling better. That was Josh and Donna banter there in its truest form. I was a little worried that we would struggle getting back there, it's nice to know I can count on that while we figure this whole mess out. I fire up the computer and start researching annulments in New Jersey. I try not to look at the scene of the crime, but occasionally I find myself staring at the indention in his pillow on the bed. I need professional help.

"What've you got?" he asks when he emerges ten minutes later. He looks better. In fact, he looks sexy. Wet and clean and sexy and… Donna Moss, do not go there.

"New Jersey has two types of annulments, totally void and voidable. I don't think we're going to qualify for the totally void one," I say, reading from the website I've found.

"Why not?"

"Bigamy and blood relatives."

His face scrunches up like a four year-old's does when given liver for dinner. "That's disgusting. What about the other one?"

"Age of consent, the parties did not intend to marry, or incapacitation such as insanity, intoxication, fraud, or duress."

"Intoxication, that's us. Are we going to need a lawyer, or can we do it on our own?"

"It must be popular. There's a form to get started here online, but we can't print it without the front desk seeing it. We're gonna have to go to the courthouse and fill it out, and we're gonna have to go today, it's Friday. They won't be open tomorrow."

"But, my poker tournament," he whines. He and Toby signed up for a poker tournament today; CJ and I booked a day at the spa. We planned this weekend trip three months ago, and we've had to reschedule it twice.

"Listen, mister. I have a day in the spa planned. A massage, a pedicure, a manicure, a facial, and a chocolate wrap, with fondue. Six hours of heaven on earth. But this takes priority. You're gonna have to throw your game."

"But if I lose right away, Toby'll make fun of me forever." That's very true. Toby will go far in the tournament; he's very good. I think it's because he has no facial expressions.

"Better than him killing you, don't you think?"

"I'm not sure," he mumbles, making me laugh.

"I'm getting in the shower. See if you can figure anything out about that marriage certificate."

"Got it." He gives me a mock salute and I grab my bag and head into the bathroom.

I've been in the shower for all of about three minutes when I hear the bathroom door open. "Josh?" He cannot do this. I cannot be this close to him when one of us is naked.

"What do you remember about last night?" he asks from just outside the curtain.

"Josh. This isn't a good idea."

"We're meeting CJ and Toby for brunch in twenty minutes. Don't you think we should have our story straight? Anyway, we've got to do this for two and a half years, we might as well start now."

I take a deep breath and we spend the next ten minutes trying to piece together the events of last night. All we come up with is dancing at a club in Trump Plaza, Toby daring all of us to keep up with him in tequila shots, some red headed bimbo hitting on Josh, a gomer hitting on me, more tequila, CJ in the mood for ice cream, and something about Toby telling Josh it was bed time.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

"Should we tell them?"

"No. Absolutely not."

"We're going to have to eventually."

"Not necessarily."

"What if they know? They're gonna be pissed."

"If they know, they'll tell us. We won't have to bring it up, I guarantee it."

"Good point."

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Here I sit, attempting to be social and eat breakfast, but all I can think about is the elevator ride down here. See, we were on our way to meet CJ and Toby for breakfast when I noticed that both Josh and I were wearing our wedding rings. Then, I almost broke down in tears when we took them off. I know they're hideous, but I've grown attached to them. I tried to be strong, but that just meantmy bottom lip stuck out and quivered, and Josh is very uncomfortable with my pouty lips. That's what I blame for the kissing that took place in said elevator. Out of desperation, he put his hands on my face and pulled me in for a very short, very chaste kiss, which turned into a not so chaste kiss, which turned into a make-out session that never should've happened in a public place.

Anyway, here we are at breakfast, where CJ, Josh, and I are far too ill to eat any real food, but Toby has no problems eating fried eggs, pancakes, and hash browns right in front of us. I could be ill just watching him. I'm forced to lie about loud neighbors being the reason I'm no longer checked in as a guest, and CJ and Toby offer no clues as to what took place last night. The good news, of course, is that they don't remember the wedding. If they did, we would've heard about it, I'm sure.

After breakfast CJ and I head down to the spa where we've booked an entire day of pampering; it's going to be glorious…for CJ. Josh is going down fast and hard in the first round of his tournament and will be calling me soon after with a "work emergency" so we can get to the courthouse to fill out the we-accidentally-got-drunk-and-married-and-now-we-want-to-take-last-night-back paperwork. This ought to be fun.

So, I get "the call" and make up an excuse of a conference call that could last a while, telling CJ that I'll be back when I can. It doesn't take much to convince her to continue without me, and I throw my clothes back on and head up to the room of sin.

"What took you so long?" is the first thing he asks when I get up there.

I glare at him. Let's face it; I'm going to blame him for as much of this as possible. "I was naked and being massaged. I had to re-dress." When I say this, his eyes gawk out of his head and I can only imagine the perverted things going through his mind.

"Was CJ there too?"

Men. "Yes, of course. She was getting massaged next to me." This is fun. His face is all distorted, like he's trying to actually see this.

"And you were both…" he starts gesturing with his hand.

"You are sick and perverted, you know that?"

"Yes."

"Can we get on with this?"

Now his eyes bug out of his head again. "Yes. Wait. Yes. I thought you said we couldn't."

What is he talking about? "There's no way around it, we have to."

"Do we have time?" he asks, taking his shoes off. I think he's lost his mind.

"We have to hurry. What are you doing?" Why is he unbuttoning his pants? Is he changing clothes?

"What?" He looks up at me and then down at his feet. "We don't have time to take everything off? That's fine. I can work around clothes," he says as he starts walking towards me with a… is that a seductive look on his face? I don't think we're talking about the same thing.

"Josh, what are we talking about?"

"Don't you know?" he asks in a low, husky voice as his hands circle my waist.

"Well, I'm talking about going to the courthouse…"

"Yeah, that's why we have to hurry," he says, kissing my neck.

"Umm…" Wow, that feels nice. "I meant…"

"Yeah?" he asks, taking my earlobe in his mouth. This is the first time his lips have ventured to parts of my body other than my lips. It's…what was I talking about?

"We…I…" Why am I unbuttoning his shirt? This is not helping.

"Mmm?" There goes my shirt. And his. And my bra. Now his mouth is on one of my breasts and his hand is on the other. I need to sit down. Or lie down. Or something. Wasn't I going to stop this? Why would I do that?

"This is the last time," I breathe out.

"Definitely," he says, dropping to his knees and kissing my stomach as he starts working on the button of my jeans. I'm just gonna stop thinking now.