Disclaimer: All Law And Order: Special Victims Unit characters and namesakes are the property of Dick Wolf / NBC.
Author's Note / Warning: This story contains an original character that plays the love interest of Casey Novak. The story deals with the relationship between Casey and my original character, and it is told from both of their perspectives. I had a very specific storyline in mind that I felt could not be realized by pairing Casey with an existing SVU character, thus the creation of Det. Seth Bauer. This is not intended to be a Mary Sue story, and I can only hope that from the writing and characterization, this proves to be true.
ALREADY IN LOVE
Prologue
December 18th, 3:08 PM
The door slammed shut behind her, the deafening silence that followed quickly filling the entire apartment. Casey sat motionless on the sofa, her mouth slightly agape. Her heart was pounding in her chest and the tears on her cheeks were just starting to dry. Casey stared down at the floor, a mixed expression of pain, fear and shock settling across her face. She turned, looking over her shoulder at her apartment door. There was a slight ringing in her ears, and she could feel the heavy and fast thud-thud-thud of her pulse pounding in her temples. Her eyes bulged slightly in their sockets and again she looked at the apartment door. He was gone. He was really gone. The first man Casey Novak had ever truly been in love with had just walked out of her apartment and out of her life.
Casey shifted her position forward on the couch, suddenly trying to convince herself that she should get up and run after him. She would catch him in the hallway, kiss him passionately, and tell him they had to find a way to work things out. But deep down, Casey somehow knew better. Going after him now would only bring more pain into both of their lives, and she loved him too much to consider risking it. Casey felt half alive, and wondered if she was somehow dreaming. How did these kinds of things happen to normal people? To happy people? To people starting a life together? Casey knew she'd have all the time in the world to ponder these questions...alone. A fresh wave of seething heartache struck her at the thought, and she leaned forward, putting her scrunched face into her hands. She sat that way for some time, softly weeping into her shaking hands, her body heaving up and down with every sad gasp and sob. The cold December wind swirled angrily outside her hazy apartment windows, climbing the side of the building in a shrill, emotionless whistle.
Chapter 1: Wearing Her Hair Up
Four months earlier
August 12th, 12:36 PM
Why the hell am I so nervous? Casey thought to herself as the elevator started its slow journey upwards. Both of Casey's hands were clenched tightly around the dark leather handle of her briefcase, and for a moment she felt that strange tingly feeling in her stomach again. Gee, maybe he'll ask me to the Sock Hop this weekend! I better remember to wash my hair tonight! Casey rolled her eyes and grinned inwardly at the thought, a small muffled laugh escaping her lips. She felt like a kid in school again, acting so goofy and out of sorts over some guy. And a guy she had only known for a few weeks for that matter.
This wasn't like her. Casey had always been as straight of an arrow as they came, carefully avoiding the pitfalls of dating and relationships throughout most of college and law school. She had always been wary of getting hung up on some boy, not wanting to risk having her attention drawn away from her schoolwork and her future. "Yeah…and that's why you suck at dating now," Casey said aloud to the empty elevator, save for herself.
Casey chuckled to herself again and looked down at her hands, noticing that her knuckles were starting to turn white. She released the death-grip on her briefcase's handle as the elevator slowed to its familiar "bump and lunge", a soft 'ding!' sounding from above. The doors of the elevator slid open, revealing the hallway leading to the SVU squad room. Casey's hands turned back to their normal pale shade of pink as she stepped off the elevator, shifting her briefcase to one hand. She turned and started making her way towards the Special Victims Unit, her brain buzzing with a million different thoughts and feelings.
She had it bad, all right. She had a huge crush on the new SVU detective, whether or not she was willing to admit it. For the last few weeks, Casey had been trying to push the feelings away, simply going about her normal business as the Assistant District Attorney for the Manhattan Special Victims Unit. But every day, there he was...Detective Seth Bauer, recent transfer from Brooklyn Narcotics. Seth had arrived on a Friday afternoon, and Casey had not met him until the following Monday. At first, nothing particular stood out about Seth. He seemed like your typical, 'green' rookie detective, and Casey thought he seemed nice enough. Their relationship, of course, had been strictly professional so far, as it was all business with A.D.A. Novak. There was certainly no time for idle socializing or meaningless chitchat in the Sex Crimes Unit. Not when there were victims to fight for and lives to be rectified. Not to mention the fact that seeing someone from work went against almost all of Casey's dating policies. Not only was it a terrible idea, but it would almost certainly never work out.
Yet despite her straight-laced intentions, Casey kept coming back to the same thoughts and feelings when she was around Seth. There was something about him she couldn't quite put her finger on that made him very attractive to her. Something in the way he spoke to her...in the way he looked at her...in the way he seemed to exude a quiet confidence and passion for helping those in need. She certainly admired the way he performed his job – that much was true. And in her most secret moments of weakness, Casey allowed herself to think that he wasn't too bad to look at, either. Seth wasn't a chiseled model straight out of the pages of GQ, but he certainly wasn't unattractive. If anything, he had what most people would likely consider very average, almost nondescript looks. He was about six feet tall with short, brown hair and dark, moody brown eyes. He was clean cut and dressed rather plainly for work – button down shirt, slacks and a necktie. Seth seemed to have an average build, on the thin side, but not skinny. He wasn't overly muscular, although he was rather broad-shouldered, the latter being an attribute Casey usually found very sexy. In her own mind, Casey thought Seth was actually quite handsome and she wondered if other women looked at him the same way.
Seth was about Casey's own age, and like her, he still had a certain youthful look to his appearance. He had definitely already been through his share of 'rookie jokes' since joining the team. But he laughed them off, doing his best to fit in and not offend anyone. And maybe it was simply that, Casey thought. Seth just had a certain "way" about him; he was a genuinely all around nice person. Not a person who necessarily stood out in the crowd as someone you wanted to get to know, but someone you felt like you had always known once you started talking to him. Casey had been as discrete as possible with her feelings up to that point, but the other detectives in the squad were beginning to notice that she had a "thing" for him, and they were wasting no time teasing her about it. Casey realized her affection for Seth was superficial, but her feelings seemed to be growing the more interaction she had with him on the job. She was even starting to suspect that Seth might be attracted to her as well.
Get a grip, kiddo, Casey thought to herself as she approached the squad room doors. You hardly know him and all the "wonderful" things you think you know about him could be entirely in your head. Stay focused on the task at hand and don't make an ass of yourself again.
Casey passed through the entrance to the SVU squad room and stepped inside. Munch sat at his desk, yelling what sounded like a broken form of Russian into the telephone. He looked up and gave Casey a nod, rolling his eyes and making a swirling motion with his index finger pointed at the side of his head. Poor John...he always gets the crazies, Casey thought.
Taking a quick look around, Casey noticed that the door to Cragen's office was ajar. Elliot and Olivia were inside, most likely discussing some aspect of the case with him. A moment later, Fin came strolling in behind her, briefly placing a hand on Casey's shoulder as he went by.
"'Sup?" Fin said as he walked towards the Captain's office.
"Hey," Casey replied. "Are those the phone records for the Denby case?"
"Yup. I'm gonna hand 'em off to Elliot and Olivia right now." Fin paused, turning towards Casey, a broad smile slowly forming across his face. "You lookin' for your boy Seth?"
Casey flushed and put the back of her hand to her mouth, trying to hide her embarrassed grin. She nodded and laughed. "Yeah, I guess you could say I was hoping I might run in to him."
"Damn girl, you ain't even tryin' to hide it now," Fin smiled back. "That's cool though, good for you."
"Uh, thanks..." That's just great, Casey thought to herself, who doesn't know at this point?
"Hey, it ain't no thang," Fin said as he walked back towards Casey. Fin moved to her right and put his face close to her ear. He said in a low voice,"I think he likes you."
Casey turned, pursing her lips and raising an eyebrow. She pointed a finger toward Fin, opening her mouth. "Uh, hey...you know..." Casey's words trailed off as she tried to think of a snappy comeback.
Before she could, Fin turned and continued on towards Cragen's office. "I ain't seen him, though. Check with Munch, he's the resident baby sitter."
Casey grinned again. "Well, let me know what you guys find out with the phone dump..." Fin nodded in response, tapping on the door to Cragen's office and sticking his head in.
Casey turned her attention back to Munch, who was just hanging up the phone. He stood up from his desk and walked towards her. "Well, that was a phenomenal waste of time. I just spent half an hour on the phone with the Russian owner of that restaurant down by the pier..."
"Did he give you a better description of the suspect?" Casey asked.
John smoothed his bright red tie with one hand and cocked his head towards her. "No, but I'm pretty sure what he did give me was a fabulous new recipe for Buzhenina."
Casey sighed, half smiling. "Well, let me know what you turn up. Fin's in with Elliot and Olivia, going over Denby's phone records. Just thought I'd check in and see where you guys were at..."
Munch tilted his head downward, looking at Casey over the rims of his glasses. "Oh, is that all...?"
"Don't you start with me, too," Casey prodded back.
Munch cleared his throat, concealing a thin smile. "Bauer's out getting us lunch. He should be back any minute."
"John!" Casey scolded. "You guys are terrible! Just 'cause he's new, that doesn't make him your personal slave, you know!" Casey pursed her lips again, frowning at Munch.
"Oh, don't worry," John said in his droll voice. "He's paying his dues now, but pretty soon we'll actually let him start making lunch for us. Besides...I think he kind of likes all this grub work. He's a weird one, that new kid. I'd be careful if I were you..."
Munch grinned as he walked past Casey. She knew John was just teasing her, but with the whole squad ribbing her about Seth lately, convincing herself that she wasn't interested in him was becoming harder and harder to do. She sighed, swinging her briefcase into both hands, heading for the door. As she turned, Seth appeared in the squad room entrance carrying two large white paper bags. Lunch had arrived.
"Hi Casey," Seth said as he walked into the squad. He smiled his awkward, crooked smile at her, squinting his eyes as he approached her.
Casey felt that old tingly feeling creeping back into her belly. That smile of his, she thought. That damn smile...it makes me gush like a little girl.
"Hey Seth, how are you?" she said, smiling back at him. I'm too old to be acting this way, getting butterflies in my stomach every time I see him, Casey thought. But hey, who knows...maybe its just gas.
Casey smiled even brighter at the foolish thought. I'm doing it again...what's the matter with me?
Seth cast her a curious glance as he moved around Casey towards Cragen's office. "Uh...I'm doing okay...just out getting lunch for the squad." Seth held up the two paper bags as he passed by her. "Are you on your way out?"
Casey turned, gazing into Seth's dark eyes. "Yeah...I was just checking in on the Denby case. It doesn't sound like anything new has jumped off, so I was going to head out. I'm do in court this afternoon."
"Oh, okay." Seth paused for a moment. "Ummm...you know what? Let me drop these bags off and I'll come right back. I had a quick question for you..."
Casey raised an eyebrow in interest. "All right. I'll wait here."
Seth smiled his crooked smile again, and went into Cragen's office. Casey could overhear Munch making some sort of sarcastic comment when Seth entered...something about whose turn it was to tip the delivery boy. Casey rolled her eyes and shook her head. Munch was relentless.
Turning her thoughts back to what Seth had just said, she wondered what he wanted to ask her. See, I told you he was going to ask you to the Sock Hop! Casey rolled her eyes again and tugged at the ends of her suit jacket, straightening her clothes. Her right hand unconsciously went up to the side of her head, and she quickly smoothed her light red hair back with her fingertips. Knock it off Casey, she thought, catching herself in the act. If anyone in the squad sees you doing that, they're going to rag on you even more than they already do now. But she couldn't help it. Casey wasn't especially vain when it came to how she looked, but she wanted to appear nice for Seth all the same. She smoothed her skirt with one hand, looking down towards her feet. You slut, she thought, grinning to herself. You wore your sexy pumps today 'cause you knew you'd be seeing him...not to mention your low cut blouse. Casey marveled at what she had always thought to be the ironic ability for men to control the way women dressed without so much as saying a word. But the truth is, Seth's not like that. Or at least, her doesn't seem that way.
Seth emerged from Cragen's office, followed by Fin and Olivia. Aw, who am I kidding? Casey thought as Seth walked back towards her. I can't help wanting to look cute for him. 'Better chance he'll notice me that way. Then, of course, after we fall in love and settle down together, I can go back to dressing the way I want, while he stays at home taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, and making dinner.
Casey laughed internally at the thought, and Seth again gave her a suspicious look as he approached his desk. Jeez, Casey thought sarcastically. Why don't you just completely throw yourself at him and get it over with already?
Casey followed Seth to his desk, nodding at Olivia and giving her a quick 'Hey' as they crossed paths. Casey could feel Olivia smiling at her as she stood, facing Seth.
"So, what's up? What did you want to ask me?"
Seth ruffled through a stack of papers in his top desk drawer. "I had a question about the open molestation case from earlier this week...Here we go." Seth pulled a thin white sheet of paper from the drawer. "What was the name of that one attorney you said you had worked with? The one who was a friend of the victim's family?"
And what kind of a question did you think it would be? Of course it's about work...what - did you think he was going to ask you out?
"Frank Collins. Why? You don't think he's involved, do you?"
"No...we're just running out of leads and the mother's completely shut the kid up at this point. I thought it couldn't hurt to give this lawyer a call and see what shakes loose."
Casey nodded in agreement. "Well, say 'Hi' to him for me."
"I will...thanks." Seth suddenly cast a self-conscious glance at Casey, a curious smile appearing on his face. He quickly looked back down at the sheet of paper he was holding, making a note on it.
"What?" Casey inquired in an accusing, but good-natured tone.
"Ah...it's nothing," Seth said unconvincingly.
"C'mon...what are you smiling at? Do I have something in my nose?" OH...MY...GOD, Casey thought in horror. You did NOT just say that out loud, did you? You stupid, stupid, GIRL.
Seth chuckled, looking at her again. "No...no, that's not it."
"Well, what then?" Okay, good, he's laughing. Maybe the booger comment wasn't so bad after all. Keep him talking...cast ALL focus away from the booger! Casey could feel a few light beads of perspiration forming on her brow.
Seth's cheeks became flushed and he looked away again. "Oh, well...it's just...your hair. It's different. You have it up today." Seth motioned toward Casey's head with his left hand. "I don't think I've seen it that way before. It looks...nice."
Bells and whistles suddenly went off in Casey head. Is he flirting with me? Yes, folks! I think the sexy shoes and slutty blouse have paid off!
Casey beamed from ear to ear. She girlishly batted her eyes at Seth, and again, her hand went up to the side of her head, this time in a slightly embarrassed gesture."Oh,"Casey said, obviously flattered. "Thanks. I've been keeping it long like this and wearing it up sometimes."
Gee, that didn't sound totally awkward and stupid, Casey thought sarcastically. Hey, wait a second, a second inner voice interrupted. Maybe he's not really flirting with me after all. Maybe he's just being polite and making conversation. Maybe he's going to quit the force and become a hairdresser!
Again, the overriding rational voice in Casey's head scolded her. Jeez! Get a grip, Novak!
"Is that so...?" Seth replied. From the slightly perplexed look on his face, Casey could tell that women's hairdos were not high on Seth's list of knowledgeable subjects.
Okay, I think that's a good sign, Casey thought, still smiling. He's paying me a compliment. Suddenly, Casey felt herself brimming with confidence. Yeah, that's right – he wants me.
"Uh, anyway," Seth continued. "I hope you don't mind me saying so..." Seth blushed again and began fidgeting with the pen he was holding.
"Oh? And why would I mind?" Casey asked in a smart tone of voice, flirting back now.
"Well, you know...maybe that's not appropriate 'office talk'. I mean - I wouldn't want a big, scary lawyer like yourself to think its harassment or anything."
Casey's heart was beating fast, but she was holding it together this time. She glanced at her watch, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that she was due in court very soon. Placing her briefcase in both hands again, she began taking a few steps backwards, heading for the door. She titled sideways as she walked, casting a playful look Seth's way. "Well, I'll have to let you know if I start to feel harassed," Casey said in a cool, husky voice.
Casey smiled and turned, walking out of the squad room. Behind her, Seth chuckled to himself, watching her go. Turning to his right, Seth noticed Fin, Olivia and Munch all staring up at him from where they were sitting. They were all grinning widely in his direction.
"Shut up," Seth said, smiling his crooked smile. His co-workers burst out laughing at the comment, continuing to pick at the sandwiches Seth had brought from the Deli.
"Hey gang, I hate to break up all the fun, but there are still crimes that need to be solved," Captain Cragen interrupted as he and Elliot walked out of his office and into the squad. "Bauer, after lunch, you and Stabler go talk to the victims again. We're having a hell of time connecting Denby to the multiple rapes and we're gonna need more evidence before we can get another warrant."
"Sure thing, Captain," Bauer said. He turned his attention to Benson and Stabler's desks. "Looks like it's just you and me, Elliot."
Elliot didn't respond. He simply gave Seth his usual annoyed look and sat down at his desk to eat his lunch. So far, Elliot wasn't thrilled with the newbie. The kid was just too damn pleasant all the time, and it was irritating. As far as Stabler was concerned, Seth had a lot to prove working in the Special Victims Unit, and he had barely begun to earn his stripes.
Down the hall from the SVU squad room, Casey stood in front of the elevator looking at the button she had just pressed - a glowing white circle with an arrow pointing down on it. She could barely contain the huge smile on her face. She took a deep breath and tried to get her emotions under control. She was quite satisfied with how the conversation had gone with Seth today. Usually, she couldn't stop herself from putting her foot in her mouth every time she talked to him. And until today, he hadn't seemed all that interested in her on a personal level. But with all the teasing from Seth's colleagues, Casey imagined someone had to have said something about the situation to him by now. It didn't matter, though; Seth had really noticed her today, and that was a start. At the very least, Casey had the sneaking suspicion she'd be wearing her hair up much more often. The elevator dinged and the doors slid open, and Casey stepped inside.
Yup, she thought. This is definitely the start of something.
