Disclaimer: All Law And Order: Special Victims Unit characters and namesakes are the property of Dick Wolf / NBC.
Author's Note / Warning: This story contains an original character that plays the love interest of Casey Novak. The story deals with the relationship between Casey and my original character, and it is told from both of their perspectives. I had a very specific storyline in mind that I felt could not be realized by pairing Casey with an existing SVU character, thus the creation of Det. Seth Bauer. This is not intended to be a Mary Sue story, and I can only hope that from the writing and characterization, this proves to be true.
A/N/W: From Chapter 7 on, the themes become slightly more adult in regards to violence and sexual content. Nothing explicit enough to warrant an M rating, but just a heads up to readers all the same.
Chapter 7: Nightmares
November 16th, 3:14 AM
Seth nearly screamed out loud, quickly rolling to his side and making a violent punching motion at the nothingness of the dark and quiet room. Sweat was pouring down his face and body, the sheets beneath him soaked with perspiration. His heart was pounding in his chest and his temples throbbed viciously. His breathing was out of control and he swallowed hard, his mouth as dry as sand. Seth's head was spinning, and for a moment he didn't know where he was. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, shaking away the dizzy spell. As his head began to clear, Seth turned and saw the familiar shape of Casey's body underneath the covers, the blankets rising and falling in sync with her slow, rhythmic breathing. He glanced at the alarm clock next to the bed. It was three-fourteen in the morning.
Wiping his brow and taking a deep breath, Seth's heart rate began to slow down. His hands were shaking and the cool night air in the bedroom sent a chill through his wet skin. Casey stirred in her sleep, frowning. Having a bad dream too? Seth thought to himself, trying to get his breathing under control. He surveyed the room with squinted eyes, following the familiar shapes and shadows. They were in his apartment and Casey had spent the night again. Looking around, Seth tried to remember the specifics of his nightmare, but couldn't. Not that it really mattered; they were always about the same thing. Seth had gotten to a point where the nightmares had become a regular part of his life. That was, until he and Casey had started sleeping together. For a while after he and Casey had begun spending the night at each other's places, the nightmares had gone away. But that was nearly two months ago, and the nightmares had returned almost full force in the last couple of weeks. Seth couldn't understand why, but he supposed it had to do with all the guilt he had been manifesting since he had starting dating Casey. Things had been going better than he ever could have imagined with her, but still, he was afraid. He was scared that he was going to really screw things up with Casey if he didn't get his head on straight. He had considered telling her the truth about his past, but the time just never seemed right. Seth sighed deeply and wiped the sweat from his forehead again, finally starting to cool down.
"You okay?" Casey called out from behind him in a raspy, half-asleep voice.
Seth turned, looking at her. The soft glow from the streetlight outside Seth's bedroom window illuminated part of the room and he could make out Casey's face in the darkness. She was looking at him through squinted eyes, the covers pulled up to her chin. She began lifting her head off the pillow, her eyes becoming wider. Her light red hair hung in messy tufts around her face, and she brushed a few strands back with one hand. "Seth? Are you all right?"' she asked again, more concerned. "What's going on?"
Seth swallowed hard again. "It's nothing. Just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."
Casey slid across the bed and put her hands on Seth's bare shoulders. "You're boiling," she said, still half-asleep. "And you're covered in sweat. Must've been a hell of a nightmare."
"I guess. I can't remember what it was about." Seth knew this wasn't entirely true and he felt bad for lying to her.
"Mmmm," Casey said, closing her eyes and resting her head on Seth's shoulder.
Casey hugged him lightly, making another sleepy, unintelligible sound. Seth reached up to his shoulder, taking one of Casey's hands into his. He kissed the back of it before letting it go. "I'm fine, really. You should go back to sleep, you have to get up early."
"What about you?" Casey said, sounding more awake.
"Aw, don't worry about it. I've gone to work on less sleep than this."
"Was it that bad of a dream?"
"I don't know," Seth lied again. "I just usually can't get back to sleep after a nightmare."
Casey rolled back to her side of the bed, sitting up. She paused on the edge of the bed for a moment, and then slowly stood up. Seth swung his legs back into bed, sitting up against the pillow. He was wearing only his boxer shorts and his body was still wet with leftover perspiration. He pushed the covers down with his bare feet and sat there, watching Casey walk across the room. She was wearing one of his old t-shirts and a pair of skimpy purple cotton panties. She flicked the light switch on in the bathroom and sat down on the toilet. Yup, Seth randomly thought. That's how you know you're definitely a couple – when you start going to the bathroom with the door open.
Casey returned to the bedroom after she was finished, tying her hair back as she walked. Seth watched her move through the darkness of the room towards him. Not for the first time, Seth remarked how strange it was that a hairy, pot-bellied lump like him had wound up with a girl he found so sexy and beautiful. Casey often played down the significance of her good looks, but Seth found her extremely desirable all the same. What struck him the most was how she claimed to be so attracted to him. Seth had always thought that a very uneven balance existed between men and women in regards to physical beauty. Women were really the attractive ones, and they usually had to settle for whatever apish, smelly guys they could find. The sight of his own naked body didn't horrify Seth, but he wondered all the same how someone as fit and good looking as Casey found him attractive. But you know better than that, he would sometimes think. She finds you attractive because of how she feels about you. You're the one who just so happened to luck out and get the whole package – she's got a great personality and good looks.
And it's not the first time you've been that lucky, the other, cold and guilty voice in his head would always remind him.
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Casey asked, startling Seth from his train of thought. Casey was standing with her thighs pressed against the edge of the bed. She still had her arms up and was fussing with her ponytail, her back arched. The end of the t-shirt she was wearing bobbed up and down around her waist as she moved her arms, giving Seth quick glimpses of her scantly purple underwear. Against his better judgment, Seth could feel himself getting turned on.
"I'm not thinking about anything, really. I guess I'm going to go in the other room, so you can sleep. I don't want to disturb you."
"Poor baby," Casey said in an alluring tone. "I think I know how to help you get back to sleep." Casey shifted her weight forward, putting her arms down and giving Seth a sexy smile. She started climbing on her hands and knees on the bed towards him. She settled herself on top of him, placing her hands around his waist, lightly sticking her fingertips under the waistband of his boxer shorts. She kissed Seth seductively on the mouth.
"Mmmm...morning breath," Casey said in a groggy voice, yawning. They both chuckled and kissed again. Casey pulled back for a moment, reaching for the ends of the t-shirt she was wearing, pulling it off over her head. Seth ran his strong hands down her smooth bare back. Grabbing hold of her, they rolled over to the other side of the bed.
After they had finished and Casey had fallen back asleep, Seth laid on his side, pretending to be asleep as well. He stared out the window, watching as the hours passed and the sky became lighter. Although making love with Casey had been as pleasurable as always, he'd had a sick feeling in his stomach afterwards, the remnants of his nightmare still dwindling in his mind. She's trying to complete you, Seth thought incoherently as the pigeons outside the building began to coo in the early light of the new day. But I'm still only half a person.
Seth remained that way until the alarm clock went off at six-thirty. By that time, the uneasiness in his stomach had turned into a tight knot. After Casey had finally gotten up and gone into the shower, Seth stood in front of his dresser mirror, looking at the dark circles under his eyes. His hands were still trembling slightly, and deep within his soul he knew that something bad was headed his way.
