Inuyasha: The Soap Opera
By Rivertam
Need I say more? Incredibly weird one-shot.
Basically, this is a parody of the five minutes of soap operas I have seen and the insane love triangles in Inuyasha. There's a lot of OOCness. I mean A LOT. And this is really stupid /smiley face/
"Oh, no!" screamed Miroku, who has a very bad French accent. "Kagome has contracted a rare and incurable illness!"
"What would that be?" asked Inuyasha sarcastically, reading a motorcycle magazine.
"A disease." He took a dramatic pause here. "That will cause her, if she ever touches Pine Sol to turn into." Another dramatic pause, plus a crappy melodramatic tone. "A Rabid wonder llama!"
Kagome, meanwhile was lying on the couch. Her face was pale and taunt. "This is my last night on earth," she muttered. "Inuyasha! I need to tell you something!"
He looked pretty angry at being interrupted from his bike magazine. "What?"
Kagome took out a water bottle and dripped water some in the corner of her eyes. "I have always loved you, Inuyasha!"
He looked up from his motorcycle magazine, "What? I wasn't listening?"
Kagome slumped against the couch and rolled off with a loud thump. Inuyasha shrugged and went back to reading again.
Miroku walks over to Sango, who is smoking. "Sango, will you be my wife?"
She looked at him for minute. "Well, that would be great and all but I can't."
Miroku looked surprised. "Why not?"
"I'm in love with all five of your identical brothers."
Kagome sat up. "All five?"
Everyone took a moment to stare at her.
She smiled innocently, "I'm all better now!"
Miroku shrugged. "That's good. I had an affair with your cousin's half sister's mother's stepsister. So I couldn't have married you anyway."
Sango's face contorted into a calculating look. "Oh, that works. I'll go kill her."
Inuyasha is chasing Kagome around with ice bellowing about she'd be more attractive as a rabid Wonder Llama.
Miroku smiles widely. "And I can kill all my brothers!"
"Okay then," said Sango and winks. "I'll see you in high-security prison!"
"See you there!" They shake hands and then they both walk out the door.
In walk Sesshoumaru and Kagura.
"What were you doing with that other woman, Fluffy?" screams Kagura, a British accent suddenly appearing after the first word.
"You calling me fluffy," said Sesshoumaru, getting down to his knees, "Hurts so bad inside!" He bursts into tears. "Right here!" He thumps his chest.
Kagome sits over at the table. "Yum, this caviar is tasty. I wonder what's in it?" She looks at the label. "Oh, no! This Caviar expired two weeks ago! Food...Poisoning...taking... affect... on... Body..."
She falls over onto the floor, knocking the trash over.
"KAGOME!" bellowed Inuyasha and walked over to her limp form, "You knocked the trash over! Now get up and pick it up!"
He kicked her in the side. She doesn't move.
Sesshoumaru is still in the fetal position, crying and sucking his thumb.
Kagome sat up, again. "Sesshoumaru is crying! Ha ha!"
Inuyasha just glared at her, and, with a sigh, she started picking the trash up.
In walked Rin. Noticing Sesshoumaru has started going on about the time his mom wouldn't buy him that new bike he wanted when he was five, Inuyasha picks up Rin and runs out the door.
"Uh, Sesshoumaru?" Kagome pokes him in the side. "Inuyasha just carried off Rin."
"I must win Kagura back!" he walks out the door.
Kagura screams down the stairs, "You're not Rin's father!"
