You Can Find Anything... 9
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7:30 A.M. :
Slumped in the hard, straight-backed chair that was all their host had been able to offer, Blair shook himself for the hundredth time in the past few hours, rubbed his eyes, then forced them open wide. Jim, standing behind him, tightened his grip on his partner's shoulder, hoping it would convey his concern.
"Chief... you need sleep and you need to eat. I'll stay with her, I promise. I won't leave her side for a minute."
"Look, back off, Jim, okay? I'm fine. I have to be here when she wakes up."
"Caine said that might not be 'till this afternoon. He said the herbs he gave her have a natural sedative effect..."
"I heard what he said, but he doesn't know my mom. She's tough. She'll be waking up any minute now, I'm sure of it." Blair retorted, swiping away an unwelcome tear before it could slip down his cheek and become evidence of his current lack of emotional control. Jim, however, didn't need any visible signs to know how close to the edge Blair was; he could hear it in the way he breathed and in the rapid, slightly erratic beat of his heart. Making a split second decision, Ellison gathered the other man easily into his arms and carried him to Naomi's unused pallet, which had been pushed into a corner to make room for Peter's cot.
"Damn, it Jim, cut it out! You're being a jerk! Let me go!"
Undeterred, Jim dropped to his knees on the thin mattress with Blair still in his arms. "Jim! Let me go right now! I mean it!"
"I know you do, Chief, but it's not gonna happen. You're gonna get a couple hours of solid sleep if I have to clock you on the jaw and knock you out cold." Jim countered, finally setting Blair down. "Do I have to do that?"
"You wouldn't dare."
"Look in my eyes, Sandburg. Does it *look* like I wouldn't?"
A few seconds study of Jim's expression was all it took to convince Blair. Still, the younger man's gaze drifted back to his mother's tranquil form several feet away.
"I can't. You don't understand, Jim. If I'm not there when she comes to, she'll think...."
Despite the decision to censor himself, Jim believed he knew what Sandburg was worried about.
"You didn't abandon her, Blair. She knows that and she's always known it. You had to live your own life. That's not a crime and it doesn't mean you threw away everything she taught you."
"But... this is my fault, Jim. I should have realized it was possible that the Guide genetics passed down to me might have been from her and not my father.... I should have known... I should have kept in better touch with her. I... damn...."
Blair collapsed back against the wall, hands over his eyes as his control slipped a little more. Jim reached out and pulled the other man's hands down, grasping them between his own.
"Blair.... you might as well blame Sir Richard Burton for discovering our existence in the first place. Between school and the station and the sensory work you do with me.... your plate's overflowing already. Besides, she wasn't exactly fighting to keep the lines of communication open either."
"Don't say that! She tried! I pushed her away...."
Taking Blair's chin into one strong hand, Jim made his Guide look at him.
"That's not true and you know it. You were afraid to get too close.... afraid to start getting to know her again, because you'd just be separated when she drifted off like she always did. Well, now that she's found her Sentinel, she's obviously gonna be here in the States for a while. If their bond is as strong as ours is, maybe she'll be here permanently. Don't be afraid this time, Sandburg. Don't blow your second chance."
"I know.... I know you're right.... Caine... he said I have to teach her... that's why I need to.... I have to be there when she wakes up.... " Blair agreed quietly, his grip on Jim's remaining hand tightening a little.
"You will be, I swear it. The minute she shows the slightest sign, I'll come get you, okay? For now, lay down and get some sleep, damn it, or you won't be any good to her or yourself."
Reluctantly, Blair dropped onto his side and curled up, eyes slipping closed. Caine appeared at Jim's back holding a light blanket, which the Sentinel took gratefully, spreading it gently over his already sleeping partner. After another few moments of watching Blair to make sure his sleep would be peaceful, Jim rose to his feet and moved back to sit beside Naomi. Caine intervened.
"No. She is doing well. You also must sleep."
"I got a couple hours early this morning. I'm okay."
"She will wake when her body is ready. You can do nothing to speed the process. See to your own well being."
"I swore to Blair I'd stay with her. Don't worry about me. I've had to go days without sleep before. It's nothing I can't handle."
"Before is not now."
"Look..."
Suddenly, a raspy cough issued from the cot on the far side of the room and a welcome, if unexpected, voice broke into the middle of the argument.
"Whoever you are... give it up. You'll never win. He'll just... keep talking like that... until you either go insane... or do what he wants."
A pleased smile brightening his stern features, Caine rushed to his son's side. Jim followed, sensing he'd be brought into the ensuing conversation anyway.
"My son."
"Pop.... I feel like crap."
"This is to be expected. You have undergone a great ordeal."
"Ordeal I can get with... great, not so much. The lady... where is she? Is she okay?"
"She will be fine. She is still unconscious, but I do not believe it will last more than another few hours. Can you tell me what happened to you; what you experienced?"
Peter's expression suddenly turned solemn, sad and a little frightened.
"No. Not now. I'm still so wiped out. Later, maybe..."
"I understand."
"Who's he?" Peter asked, waving a hand vaguely at Jim.
"He is... a friend. Warrior Jim Ellison, this is my son Peter Caine."
"Warrior.... is that your title.... like Conan the Barbarian?" Peter chuckled, draping one weary arm over his eyes to shut out the dim light in the room. The gesture engendered a swift glance between the other two men, but they quickly refocused on Pete.
"Depends who you ask and when. You can just call me Jim. The whole, long story can wait 'till you're stronger."
"I completely agree. By the way... could you both quit yelling? Damn... wait a minute...."
For a few seconds, Peter looked as if he were struggling to remember something that hung just beyond his grasp. When it finally came back to him, he grinned faintly and seemed to turn his attention inward for a moment. "There. Better on all counts." He announced, allowing his arm to drop back to his side.
Jim gaped slightly then asked a question.
"If you just did.... how did you know how to do that?"
"How do *you* know what I did?" Peter countered, before realizing he'd heard the man's name before. Sam had spoken about someone named Jim just before he'd transported the newly bonded pair out of the frozen wasteland "Hang on a minute... Jim... you're the one he said would kick my ass.... you an' I need to have a talk...." the younger man began, sitting up partially. Caine eased him back down.
"That and everything else can wait, my son. Now you must rest and regain your strength."
"I'll rest when somebody tells me why a three-hundred pound panda thinks this guy I don't know from Adam is gonna kick any *part* of my anatomy...."
Shaking his head in confusion, Jim backed away slowly.
"What were those herbs you gave him again?" he asked the elder Caine nervously.
"Nothing that would cause hallucinations."
"I am not hallucinating!" Peter protested. "Skelany thought I was losin' my grip too, but the damn thing is real. I saw it!"
Understanding dawned in Jim's eyes.
"Wait a minute.... you're the only one who can see this panda?"
"Yeah."
"And it talks to you telepathically, right?"
"Yeah... okay, how the hell do you know all this?"
"What was Naomi's?"
"Huh? Who's.... oh. You mean the lady that... Yeah. Well, when I found her, there was this beautiful silver horse standing over her. A mare I think. Her voice was female at least."
Jim gazed from Peter to his father.
"Spirit animals. Blair and I have them too. Since my abilities came online in the jungle, and I guess because it meshes with my personality, mine is a black jaguar. Sandburg's is a wolf."
"Cleverness, loyalty, singleness of purpose and willingness to sacrifice all, even his life in defense of those he considers his pack. Yes... the wolf would suit him well." Kwai-Chang mused softly.
Jim's gaze now shifted to Blair's shape under the blanket. For a long moment, he studied his Guide's peaceful face intently, visually tracing the contours and planes and discovering a new stress line or two that he was sure hadn't been there a few weeks before. Despite this revelation, Jim smiled gently.
"Smart as a computer, dependable, ready to jump in and save somebody without hesitation... and able to sleep through World War Three. Yeah, that's Blair. Damn right, it is."
Ellison allowed himself another moment of contemplating his rarely-touched emotions then shook his head to clear it and turned his attention back to Peter. "Tell you what, kid. You were right about one thing; we do have a lot to talk about, but not now. Listen to your father and get some more rest. I'll be here when you're ready."
"I don't think so. I wanna know what's goin' on..."
Crouching, Jim placed a hand on Peter's chin the same as he had on Blair's. To his relief, it had a similar effect. Peter quieted and his eyes locked firmly onto the other man's.
"I'm not asking where you were or what you went through. That's yours to deal with and you'll tell me if you feel like it. What you need to know right now is that I've been there too. Not the same place, not the same fight.... but I've been there. You're not alone, Peter. Not by a long shot. Get it?"
Trembling faintly, the younger man nodded and responded in an uncertain voice.
"Yeah... yeah, I get it."
"Good. Now get some sleep. The next few days could be rough." Jim replied, pushing back up to his full height and walking a few steps away. Caine followed, silent, waiting for Jim to speak first. "I know there's not much room in here...."
"One of my students will be here in a few minutes with another cot. As I have canceled my classes for the day, you are free to use the main room of the dojo to sleep."
"Thanks."
"For a Warrior of your accomplishment.... I could do no less."
"Hold it. What has that brat Sandburg been telling you?"
Caine merely smiled, placed an easy hand in the middle of Jim's back and guided him out of the room without answering.
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Deep in his dreams, Blair moved slowly through a field of undulating grasses nearly as high as his head. His hands were stretched out to either side, not to grasp the stalks but simply to feel their subtle brush against his palms. When he felt the thump of a solid head against his knee, he searched for and found the edge of the thicket and began moving in that direction. He emerged into a lush green meadow walking side by side with his spirit guide, Lobo. Grinning, he dropped to the grass and greeted the wolf joyfully in his thoughts.
//// It's so good to see you. You haven't been around much, lately. \\\\
//// I know. It's hard work preparing for a new pair bond to be formed. We all had a part to play. You look weary and underfed. You're not taking care of yourself, cub. \\\\ Lobo chastised the human, butting him gently in the jaw with his muzzle to drive his point home. The blow was firm, but Blair knew it was out of concern, not anger and he grinned.
//// I'll eat when I wake up, I promise. Seeing her like that... so sick.... it threw me. My appetite went out the window and I couldn't stand to leave her alone long enough to sleep... \\\\
//// Naomi will be fine in another day or two. We would not go through all this work if the bond was only going to dissolve. \\\\
//// I understand that. It's a human thing. \\\\
//// Not exclusively. We fear for our mothers and pack leaders as you do. \\\\
Lobo yawned widely, tossed his head and snorted. //// Enough of this sorrowful talk, youngling. After all this time of sitting and consulting with the others, I feel a need to stretch my legs. Shall we run? \\\\
Laughing, Blair leapt to his feet and began to jog backwards, calling out to his spirit brother.
//// Try and catch me! \\\\
//// Well you know that is no effort for me, cub, but I will allow you your illusion of superiority for a few minutes at least. \\\\ Lobo taunted, chuckling as he loped after Blair.
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TBC.....
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7:30 A.M. :
Slumped in the hard, straight-backed chair that was all their host had been able to offer, Blair shook himself for the hundredth time in the past few hours, rubbed his eyes, then forced them open wide. Jim, standing behind him, tightened his grip on his partner's shoulder, hoping it would convey his concern.
"Chief... you need sleep and you need to eat. I'll stay with her, I promise. I won't leave her side for a minute."
"Look, back off, Jim, okay? I'm fine. I have to be here when she wakes up."
"Caine said that might not be 'till this afternoon. He said the herbs he gave her have a natural sedative effect..."
"I heard what he said, but he doesn't know my mom. She's tough. She'll be waking up any minute now, I'm sure of it." Blair retorted, swiping away an unwelcome tear before it could slip down his cheek and become evidence of his current lack of emotional control. Jim, however, didn't need any visible signs to know how close to the edge Blair was; he could hear it in the way he breathed and in the rapid, slightly erratic beat of his heart. Making a split second decision, Ellison gathered the other man easily into his arms and carried him to Naomi's unused pallet, which had been pushed into a corner to make room for Peter's cot.
"Damn, it Jim, cut it out! You're being a jerk! Let me go!"
Undeterred, Jim dropped to his knees on the thin mattress with Blair still in his arms. "Jim! Let me go right now! I mean it!"
"I know you do, Chief, but it's not gonna happen. You're gonna get a couple hours of solid sleep if I have to clock you on the jaw and knock you out cold." Jim countered, finally setting Blair down. "Do I have to do that?"
"You wouldn't dare."
"Look in my eyes, Sandburg. Does it *look* like I wouldn't?"
A few seconds study of Jim's expression was all it took to convince Blair. Still, the younger man's gaze drifted back to his mother's tranquil form several feet away.
"I can't. You don't understand, Jim. If I'm not there when she comes to, she'll think...."
Despite the decision to censor himself, Jim believed he knew what Sandburg was worried about.
"You didn't abandon her, Blair. She knows that and she's always known it. You had to live your own life. That's not a crime and it doesn't mean you threw away everything she taught you."
"But... this is my fault, Jim. I should have realized it was possible that the Guide genetics passed down to me might have been from her and not my father.... I should have known... I should have kept in better touch with her. I... damn...."
Blair collapsed back against the wall, hands over his eyes as his control slipped a little more. Jim reached out and pulled the other man's hands down, grasping them between his own.
"Blair.... you might as well blame Sir Richard Burton for discovering our existence in the first place. Between school and the station and the sensory work you do with me.... your plate's overflowing already. Besides, she wasn't exactly fighting to keep the lines of communication open either."
"Don't say that! She tried! I pushed her away...."
Taking Blair's chin into one strong hand, Jim made his Guide look at him.
"That's not true and you know it. You were afraid to get too close.... afraid to start getting to know her again, because you'd just be separated when she drifted off like she always did. Well, now that she's found her Sentinel, she's obviously gonna be here in the States for a while. If their bond is as strong as ours is, maybe she'll be here permanently. Don't be afraid this time, Sandburg. Don't blow your second chance."
"I know.... I know you're right.... Caine... he said I have to teach her... that's why I need to.... I have to be there when she wakes up.... " Blair agreed quietly, his grip on Jim's remaining hand tightening a little.
"You will be, I swear it. The minute she shows the slightest sign, I'll come get you, okay? For now, lay down and get some sleep, damn it, or you won't be any good to her or yourself."
Reluctantly, Blair dropped onto his side and curled up, eyes slipping closed. Caine appeared at Jim's back holding a light blanket, which the Sentinel took gratefully, spreading it gently over his already sleeping partner. After another few moments of watching Blair to make sure his sleep would be peaceful, Jim rose to his feet and moved back to sit beside Naomi. Caine intervened.
"No. She is doing well. You also must sleep."
"I got a couple hours early this morning. I'm okay."
"She will wake when her body is ready. You can do nothing to speed the process. See to your own well being."
"I swore to Blair I'd stay with her. Don't worry about me. I've had to go days without sleep before. It's nothing I can't handle."
"Before is not now."
"Look..."
Suddenly, a raspy cough issued from the cot on the far side of the room and a welcome, if unexpected, voice broke into the middle of the argument.
"Whoever you are... give it up. You'll never win. He'll just... keep talking like that... until you either go insane... or do what he wants."
A pleased smile brightening his stern features, Caine rushed to his son's side. Jim followed, sensing he'd be brought into the ensuing conversation anyway.
"My son."
"Pop.... I feel like crap."
"This is to be expected. You have undergone a great ordeal."
"Ordeal I can get with... great, not so much. The lady... where is she? Is she okay?"
"She will be fine. She is still unconscious, but I do not believe it will last more than another few hours. Can you tell me what happened to you; what you experienced?"
Peter's expression suddenly turned solemn, sad and a little frightened.
"No. Not now. I'm still so wiped out. Later, maybe..."
"I understand."
"Who's he?" Peter asked, waving a hand vaguely at Jim.
"He is... a friend. Warrior Jim Ellison, this is my son Peter Caine."
"Warrior.... is that your title.... like Conan the Barbarian?" Peter chuckled, draping one weary arm over his eyes to shut out the dim light in the room. The gesture engendered a swift glance between the other two men, but they quickly refocused on Pete.
"Depends who you ask and when. You can just call me Jim. The whole, long story can wait 'till you're stronger."
"I completely agree. By the way... could you both quit yelling? Damn... wait a minute...."
For a few seconds, Peter looked as if he were struggling to remember something that hung just beyond his grasp. When it finally came back to him, he grinned faintly and seemed to turn his attention inward for a moment. "There. Better on all counts." He announced, allowing his arm to drop back to his side.
Jim gaped slightly then asked a question.
"If you just did.... how did you know how to do that?"
"How do *you* know what I did?" Peter countered, before realizing he'd heard the man's name before. Sam had spoken about someone named Jim just before he'd transported the newly bonded pair out of the frozen wasteland "Hang on a minute... Jim... you're the one he said would kick my ass.... you an' I need to have a talk...." the younger man began, sitting up partially. Caine eased him back down.
"That and everything else can wait, my son. Now you must rest and regain your strength."
"I'll rest when somebody tells me why a three-hundred pound panda thinks this guy I don't know from Adam is gonna kick any *part* of my anatomy...."
Shaking his head in confusion, Jim backed away slowly.
"What were those herbs you gave him again?" he asked the elder Caine nervously.
"Nothing that would cause hallucinations."
"I am not hallucinating!" Peter protested. "Skelany thought I was losin' my grip too, but the damn thing is real. I saw it!"
Understanding dawned in Jim's eyes.
"Wait a minute.... you're the only one who can see this panda?"
"Yeah."
"And it talks to you telepathically, right?"
"Yeah... okay, how the hell do you know all this?"
"What was Naomi's?"
"Huh? Who's.... oh. You mean the lady that... Yeah. Well, when I found her, there was this beautiful silver horse standing over her. A mare I think. Her voice was female at least."
Jim gazed from Peter to his father.
"Spirit animals. Blair and I have them too. Since my abilities came online in the jungle, and I guess because it meshes with my personality, mine is a black jaguar. Sandburg's is a wolf."
"Cleverness, loyalty, singleness of purpose and willingness to sacrifice all, even his life in defense of those he considers his pack. Yes... the wolf would suit him well." Kwai-Chang mused softly.
Jim's gaze now shifted to Blair's shape under the blanket. For a long moment, he studied his Guide's peaceful face intently, visually tracing the contours and planes and discovering a new stress line or two that he was sure hadn't been there a few weeks before. Despite this revelation, Jim smiled gently.
"Smart as a computer, dependable, ready to jump in and save somebody without hesitation... and able to sleep through World War Three. Yeah, that's Blair. Damn right, it is."
Ellison allowed himself another moment of contemplating his rarely-touched emotions then shook his head to clear it and turned his attention back to Peter. "Tell you what, kid. You were right about one thing; we do have a lot to talk about, but not now. Listen to your father and get some more rest. I'll be here when you're ready."
"I don't think so. I wanna know what's goin' on..."
Crouching, Jim placed a hand on Peter's chin the same as he had on Blair's. To his relief, it had a similar effect. Peter quieted and his eyes locked firmly onto the other man's.
"I'm not asking where you were or what you went through. That's yours to deal with and you'll tell me if you feel like it. What you need to know right now is that I've been there too. Not the same place, not the same fight.... but I've been there. You're not alone, Peter. Not by a long shot. Get it?"
Trembling faintly, the younger man nodded and responded in an uncertain voice.
"Yeah... yeah, I get it."
"Good. Now get some sleep. The next few days could be rough." Jim replied, pushing back up to his full height and walking a few steps away. Caine followed, silent, waiting for Jim to speak first. "I know there's not much room in here...."
"One of my students will be here in a few minutes with another cot. As I have canceled my classes for the day, you are free to use the main room of the dojo to sleep."
"Thanks."
"For a Warrior of your accomplishment.... I could do no less."
"Hold it. What has that brat Sandburg been telling you?"
Caine merely smiled, placed an easy hand in the middle of Jim's back and guided him out of the room without answering.
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Deep in his dreams, Blair moved slowly through a field of undulating grasses nearly as high as his head. His hands were stretched out to either side, not to grasp the stalks but simply to feel their subtle brush against his palms. When he felt the thump of a solid head against his knee, he searched for and found the edge of the thicket and began moving in that direction. He emerged into a lush green meadow walking side by side with his spirit guide, Lobo. Grinning, he dropped to the grass and greeted the wolf joyfully in his thoughts.
//// It's so good to see you. You haven't been around much, lately. \\\\
//// I know. It's hard work preparing for a new pair bond to be formed. We all had a part to play. You look weary and underfed. You're not taking care of yourself, cub. \\\\ Lobo chastised the human, butting him gently in the jaw with his muzzle to drive his point home. The blow was firm, but Blair knew it was out of concern, not anger and he grinned.
//// I'll eat when I wake up, I promise. Seeing her like that... so sick.... it threw me. My appetite went out the window and I couldn't stand to leave her alone long enough to sleep... \\\\
//// Naomi will be fine in another day or two. We would not go through all this work if the bond was only going to dissolve. \\\\
//// I understand that. It's a human thing. \\\\
//// Not exclusively. We fear for our mothers and pack leaders as you do. \\\\
Lobo yawned widely, tossed his head and snorted. //// Enough of this sorrowful talk, youngling. After all this time of sitting and consulting with the others, I feel a need to stretch my legs. Shall we run? \\\\
Laughing, Blair leapt to his feet and began to jog backwards, calling out to his spirit brother.
//// Try and catch me! \\\\
//// Well you know that is no effort for me, cub, but I will allow you your illusion of superiority for a few minutes at least. \\\\ Lobo taunted, chuckling as he loped after Blair.
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TBC.....
