Bittersweet and Salty

By

Kelsey


Disclaimer: Not mine. Though as I've said before, you'd think with all the "Law and Order"s out there, they could spare one.

Author's Note: More case file than relationship-angst in this one, but gotta move the plot along somehow, right?

Summary: Someone comes back into Olivia's life, but someone else is already there. Will old love prevail, or does new love run stronger? Femslash, O/A, O/C.

Rating: PG-13 this chapter


Chapter Three

It's still only ten-thirty by the time they get back to the precinct, and Alex calls her bodyguards begrudgingly, saying that she's had enough of crime for the day. Olivia pretends to be jealous of her being able to get away, and is only a little jealous for real.

Casey stops in for no discernable reason-- she asks about the case, but since she has no real input, it doesn't count as a reason-- and Olivia knows she's feeling anxious about where she stands with her. She wishes that she had a better answer for the woman who's been so good to her for these past few months, making her get back to life and the practice of living, instead of just existing and waiting for Alex's return. But her emotions are on a roller coaster ride and the only thing she can say for sure is that she cares deeply for both women.

For a woman who is notoriously easy to rile, Casey stays remarkably calm. Her temper flares predictably when confronted with the case's lack of real progress, but regarding Olivia and her former lover, there is nothing but a flash of unspecified emotion when Elliot mentions that Alex spent the morning with them.

There's paperwork after Casey leaves, and then it's time to go meet Alex for lunch. Olivia is vibrating silently in her chair with nerves-- this is the first time she and Alex will be alone together since she got back. Elliot kicks her chair and smirks at her, which gives her something to do for only about ten seconds as she kicks Elliot's chair back at him and glares. Cragen clears his throat, and they both turn back to their forms in triplicate that are the bane of a detective's life.

Olivia really hopes that Alex won't push her for answers today, because she doesn't have any. Does she love Casey? Yes, but she's not sure exactly how she means that. Does she love Alex? Always. What does she want? How the hell should she know? She never thought she'd ever have a chance to decide.

"Twelve-thirty, Liv," Elliot says, glancing at his watch, and Olivia looks up from where her gaze has stalled out on the latest batch of paperwork as she zoned, and nods.

"Thanks." She gathers her coat and her bag and heads out. The sedan they were driving this morning is still signed out to her, so she might as well use it to get to the restaurant.

It's a little after one when she arrives at the little Italian place she and Alex went to all the time, and the blonde is already waiting for her at their usual table. The thought of them sitting together at their usual table is enough to send sparks down Olivia's spine-- so many witness protection victims never return to their old lives. Olivia is immeasurably lucky to have Alex returned to her, and she vows to remember that.

"Hey," she greets her dining companion, slipping into the chair.

"Hi, Olivia."

There is awkward silence until the waiter comes and asks for drink orders. Then Olivia, intent on not putting painful subjects aside, broaches the topic. "Your guy, Alex?"

Alex looks up with a surprised look on her face and then laughs a little. "I should have figured. You never were one for long discussions leading up to a sensitive topic." She takes a deep breath. "I couldn't take it. Couldn't hear him calling me "Emily" anymore. We broke up just after I came back to testify."

Alex's mind is just as sharp as ever, and she quickly turns the tables on Olivia. "And you? What happened so that Casey Novak ended up in your bed?"

Olivia shrugs. "Nothing, really." She pauses. "You know, when I first met her, I didn't like her much." She laughs lightly. "I think that's a sign that I'll end up sleeping with them later."

Alex smiles tightly. "If you didn't like her, what happened to change that?" She sounds like she isn't sure she wants to hear this story, but it isn't like Alex to flee from anything, even stories of how her ex got a new girlfriend.

"I don't know. Mostly I think I just realized that she wasn't here to replace you. And she never did, Alex." Olivia puts her hand on the table and then reaches out to touch Alex's fingers, lying tensely next to her water glass. "No one could."
Blue eyes meet brown, and Alex seems to be trying to determine Olivia's truthfulness before she responds. Apparently she is satisfied, because the fingers under Olivia's turn over and twine with her own tenderly. "No one ever replaced you, either."

The waiter brings their drinks and asks for meal orders. Alex doesn't pull her hand away from Olivia's, something she's been conditioned to expect by Casey's closeted position. When she confronted the redhead about it, Casey had exploded into one of her temper tantrums and told her that Alex, as the DA's "daddy's girl" might have been able to afford the rumors of lesbianism, but she couldn't. Olivia hadn't brought it up again.

But she was really enjoying sitting in a restaurant, with her fingers tangled warmly through those of a woman she loved.

"When did it happen?" Alex asked, and Olivia took a moment to understand that they were back to talking about Casey.

"A couple of months ago. Right after you came back." Olivia averts her gaze and tries to untangle her fingers, but Alex holds onto them tightly. "I think I finally realized that I might never see you again."

"And Casey found out about me."

Olivia nods, a little surprised that Alex zeroed in on what had changed so quickly, but she knows she shouldn't be. She always did have a penchant for dating women much too smart for her.

"She convinced me that being friends wouldn't hurt you. So we became friends. And then one night… I kissed her. She was so shocked I thought she might slap me. But then she said that she just never thought I'd be ready enough to move on."

"And you told her?" Alex's gaze is impassive.

"That I wasn't ready to leave you behind, and I probably never would be. And she just nodded and kissed me back." Olivia looks right at Alex, meeting her steady gaze. "She told me yesterday morning, after you left, that she figured all along she was only filling time until you came back."

"Was she?"

Olivia sighs heavily. "I don't know, Alex! I didn't intend for her to be."

Alex nods in understanding. "I didn't think you did."

Their food arrives, and they have to separate their hands in order to eat. Olivia puts the food in her mouth, chews and then swallows, but hardly tastes it. Alex picks at her food, and Olivia opens her mouth to tell her to eat, but then remembers she no longer has that right. Alex sees her mouth open and close, though, and smiles.

"I'm eating like a bird again, aren't I?" she says. "That happens to me without you around to nag me."

Olivia doesn't respond, just puts down her fork and looks at Alex, not quite sure of what to say.

Forcing a smile, the blond picks up her own fork and takes a bite.

Silence reigns over most of the rest of the meal.

Olivia returns to the precinct in obvious emotional turmoil, and everyone stays away from her as long as possible. It is Cragen who finally approaches, announcing that she and Elliot had better get out of the station for a while and clear their heads. Olivia knows that the captain is just trying to give her and Elliot some time to talk, but she doesn't want to talk. She can barely comprehend all of the thoughts whirling around in her head, let alone articulate them.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Elliot asks casually.

"No."

Lucky for her, Elliot's been her partner for seven years, and knows well enough when to back off. Now he switches gears easily, and starts talking about the case as he turns the car over and drives off. "Did you get anywhere calling the petting zoo?"

Olivia shakes her head. "Didn't want to alert them that we might be coming," she replies. "Thought it would be better if we just dropped in."

Elliot nods. "I got nowhere with friends," he says. "The girl was either completely antisocial or incredibly shy. She had one friend, and the girl didn't know anything about what happened." He pulls to a stop at a red light. "Olivia, just answer me one thing?"

She doesn't reply, and he takes it as a sign to continue.

"Who couldn't you live without?"

She doesn't reply, but he seems to be satisfied with just asking his question, and silence reigns all the rest of the way to the park.

When they get to the petting zoo, the attendant is a pimply-faced boy perhaps two years younger than their victim, Tanya, and he has his hands full. The corral is full of goats, sheep and some kind of small deer, as well as young children with their hands full of feed. Parents preside over the children, but the attendant has to hand out the feed and control the animals to the best of his ability, and he looks more than a little frazzled.

Olivia steps up to him and pulls her badge. "Can we have a moment of your time?"

He glances at the badge and then at the waiting family with three small children. "Can it wait ten minutes? I get a break, then."

Olivia nods, and she and Elliot step back to watch and wait. The teenager seems to have been being truthful enough-- he makes no effort to slip away or run, instead, after about ten minutes, he heads to the barn door, pokes his head in, and hollers for someone named Craig.

Craig turns out to be much older than the kid-- perhaps thirty or even older than that. He is a little portly, and more than a little belligerent. He clearly thinks that this is not something he should have to do, but he parks himself on the stool by the gate and proceeds to take money and dispense feed, albeit in a rather surly manner. The teenager slips away and walks over to them, motioning them back into a rather secluded alcove where only a bored looking sheep and an angry-looking goat are hanging out, away from the kids.

"I'm John Marley," he says. "Are you here about Tanya?"

Elliot nods. "How did you know about that?" he asks.

"Her mom called today and said she wasn't going to be at work," he says. "I asked why, and she said Tanya was killed. Is that true?"

"I'm afraid so. Did you know her well?" Olivia asks.

John shakes his head. "She was shy. Good with customers, but hard to talk to. Hated Craig, but the only way I knew was because she stayed as far away from him as possible."

Elliot glances at Olivia, and they know they are thinking the same thing: Gonna have to talk to Craig.

"Do you know why she hated Craig?" Elliot asks.

John shrugs. "No. Just know she did. I kinda thought that maybe he was hitting on her-- she was awfully pretty, you know."

Olivia nods. Not that uncommon, an older boss hitting on a barely-legal (or even jailbait) employee. But that didn't mean anything except that the old guy liked his women young. Tanya was eighteen. "When does your break end?" she asks.

John glances at his watch and grimaces. "Right about now." He starts to walk back to the gate of the corral, and the detectives follow. "It's a crappy job, but it's really near my house, and my mom's a bit overprotective…so I took what I could get."

Olivia nods in understanding and reaches into her pants for her wallet. Pulling out a card, she hands it to John, who tucks it away in his pocket. "Give us a call if you think of anything you think might be important," she says.

"Sure," he replies. "Hope you catch them. Tanya was alright."

The detectives corner Craig as he heads back to his post in the barn with the large "Employees Only" sign on the door. "Can't you read?" is his response to their appearing in his path. "Employees only. Now get back to the kiddos. No unattended children allowed."

Olivia flashes her badge, and beside her, Elliot does the same thing. "Detective Benson, and this is my partner Detective Stabler," she says. "We need to talk to you about Tanya Martin."

Craig grunts in response, then pushes open the barn door and motions them inside. At the end, after all the stalls for the actual animals, there is a stall with a bare floor and a couch and small television in it. This is obviously where Craig spends his time "supervising." "What do you want to know?" he asks.

"John said you and Tanya didn't get along very well," Olivia begins. "Want to tell us why that was?"

Craig shrugs as best as he can from his slump on the couch. Olivia has opted to stay far out of reach, leaning against the wall of the stall, but Elliot has perched himself on the arm of the old, decrepit piece of furniture. "I dunno. She never wanted to get very close to me," he says. "I never did anything. If she wants me to put the money on the table and then back away, whatever. She did the job."

Another glances is exchanged between the detectives. This is the first they've heard of Tanya perhaps being habitually cautious around men. "Did she act like that around other men?" Elliot asks.

"Sure. She tried not to show it, since they're customers and all, but she'd sort of flinch if one of them got too close."

"What about John?"

Craig scowls. "Naw. He was her buddy. Not that they were close, I mean, but he was the only thing with a dick that could get within three feet of her."

Elliot nods and rises from the arm. "Thanks," he says.

"We'll be in touch."

"Anytime you want," Craig says with a lecherous grin in her direction. Olivia ignores him and proceeds Elliot out of the stall and then the barn.

As they leave the corral, both are deep in thought. "Do you think Craig is telling the truth?" Olivia asks.

Elliot shrugs. "He'd have something to gain by lying, but yeah, I think so."
"And John?"

"Seems genuine enough."

"So then maybe Tanya was being abused, not just attacked once," Olivia posits.

Elliot shudders a little. "Sounds like it. Poor girl. Not enough to be raped and murdered, you have to be abused beforehand, too."

"So, back to her parents?"

"Yeah. And then the friend. Maybe one of them knows more than they were telling."

Tanya's parents proclaim no knowledge of any long-term abuse. There is no DNA evidence yet, but Warner has promised to go over the body again with a fine-toothed comb, so Elliot asks the father for a DNA sample. The easiness of his acquiescence makes him an unlikely suspect, but they drive both parents over to the medical examiner's office for the test.

After they take the Martins home, Olivia drives as Elliot gives directions to the friend's little apartment. The friend, not nearly so well off, lives with three roommates in a two-bedroom apartment. Only one of them is home when the detectives arrive, but she lets them in and tells them that Kara, the friend, will be back any minute.

Barely two minutes later, Kara breezes through the door in exercise clothing with a gym bag slung over her shoulder. "Detectives," she says, holding up a cell phone. "Eliza told me you were here."

Elliot and Olivia stand and greet the girl, but she waves them back to the couch. "Just a second," she says as she disappears into one of the bedrooms. "I'm sure I stink."

A minute later, she reappears in clean clothes and with her face freshly washed. "What can I help you with?" she asks, settling herself somewhat rigidly in a chair across from the detectives.

Olivia leans forward, and Elliot sits back, glad to let her take the lead on this one. "Kara… did you ever have any indication that Tanya might be being abused?" she asks gently.

Kara averts her eyes a little, and then looks down at her lap. "Kara," Olivia prods, "We need to know, so that we can find who killed her."
The girl looks up and reluctantly nods. "Alright." She takes a deep breath. "Yeah, maybe I thought she was a bit skittish around men. But when I asked if she wanted to talk to me, or anyone else, she always changed the subject. And I never saw anything, you know. I would have reported it if I really knew something was going on."

Olivia nods. "Was there anyone she was especially skittish around?" she asks.

Kara shakes her head. "No one person. But older men, over thirty or so. And big. Muscled guys. She was never as nervous around my guy friends as she was around like, random muscley guys on the street."

Elliot leans forward now. "Is there anyone she might have talked to about this? A counselor? A professor? Anyone?"

"She never told me about anyone. But once I saw her coming out of the rape crisis and prevention center on campus. Maybe she talked to someone there."

Olivia rises from the couch. "Thank you," she says, and digs out another business card. "Give us a call if you think of anything?"

Kara nods. "I will. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier… I just didn't think that Tanya would want anyone to know."

"You did the right thing telling us," Elliot says as the exit the small apartment.

Kara gives them a sad smile. "It doesn't really matter. She's still dead, isn't she?"


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