Bittersweet and Salty

By

Kelsey


Disclaimer: Not mine. Though as I've said before, you'd think with all the "Law and Order"s out there, they could spare one.

Author's Note: This one contains no case file at all. I know you're all so disappointed. Pure fluff. Don't worry, we'll get back to the story in the next one.

Summary: Someone comes back into Olivia's life, but someone else is already there. Will old love prevail, or does new love run stronger? Femslash, O/A, O/C.

Rating: PG-13 this chapter


Chapter Six

The atmosphere of the little bar is low-key and calm, and Olivia remembers many a quiet night spent here with Alex, relaxing after a long day at work. Of course, it was usually late, since both of them worked demanding jobs that they often put in overtime at, but still-- they were lovely memories.

The other women in the bar speak to the bar's patronage-- Olivia had never been one to frequent lesbian bars, but Alex liked the calm and quiet of this one, and she'd brought Olivia here as soon as the detective had come out to her, before they'd even begun dating. It was here that Olivia had gotten tipsy enough to kiss Alex for the first time, and here that Alex's face had taken on that beautiful, ruddy glow in the low lights that had made Olivia want to worship her.

Now, they sit in comfortable silence, listening to the music which is kept at moderate levels, and watching women dance with each other without fear of prejudice or bigotry. Olivia never really relaxes her guard-- so many years as a lesbian and a cop have assured that-- but here is the closest she comes besides home. Alex is on Olivia's left, holding her left hand, and they are sitting too close for friends.

A new song starts to play, and Alex squeezes Olivia's hand. She looks over and smiles. Alex smiles back. "Ah. So you do remember this song."

"How could I forget?" Olivia asks softly. "It was our song."

Alex laughs lightly. "A little cheesy."

"A lot cheesy. But that was okay. We didn't get many chances for it, with our jobs."

"You're talking about us in the past tense," Alex says, he voice soft and unaccusatory. "Does that mean we're over?"

Olivia tilts her head away a little, and forces Alex's attention back to the song. "Listen," she says.

The speakers spill old rock that Alex had embarrassedly confessed to loving after a few visits here, and Olivia remembers why this became "their" song. Close your eyes and I'll kiss you…

It had been the first time they'd been dancing here, the first time since Olivia had kissed Alex on the doorstep to her apartment, that she'd been brave enough to show affection outside their homes. Granted, it was a lesbian bar, and hardly the type of place where they were likely to be thrown out for kissing, but it still representing a major step for Olivia, and she knew Alex understood that when she'd leaned in and echoed the words into Alex's ear, then kissed her as promised.

Tomorrow I'll miss you…

Alex looks over sadly, and Olivia meets her gaze. "Guess it was a little more prophetic than we thought," the blonde says.

"Maybe," Olivia allows.

Remember I'll always be true…

"Will we?" Alex asks in a soft voice, and for the first time, Olivia sees real anxiety in those bright blue eyes. "Do I get another chance?"

Olivia slides a little closer, her chest tight because Alex is hurting. "You're still on your first chance, sweetheart. You never did anything wrong."

"I went away."

"You didn't have much of a choice."

Even while I'm away, I'll write home every day…

"I didn't write," Alex says, smiling a little as she alludes to the song still playing softly on the speakers.

And send all my loving to you.

"I felt your loving," Olivia says softly.

"Can you kiss me?"

Olivia nods, and leans over. She presses her lips gently against Alex's, her hand holding firmly onto the slight wrist in her grasp. Alex turns towards her and raises her free hand to tangle in Olivia's hair, and they share a long but slow kiss, relearning and exploring each other's mouths after far too long apart.

Alex pulls back first, and as she licks her lips, she finds Olivia's gaze. Olivia hasn't moved, and their faces are no more than six inches apart. "Casey?" Alex asks a little breathlessly.

Olivia frowns. "I don't want to hurt her," she says. "But if we can have… what we had back, I have to give it a try. I love you, Alex."

The smile that spreads across Alex's face hasn't been so genuine since before she had to leave for the first time. It isn't huge or silly, but just heartfelt and beautiful, and Olivia leans in to kiss her again. "Come home with me?" she asks softly, and Alex nods.

"Of course."

Alex is beautiful and soft, her curves pressing against Olivia in a way that is utterly familiar and at the same time, completely foreign. They have made it as far as Olivia's front hallway before they are running their hands over each other, relearning bodies as they earlier relearned lips.

Olivia shudders gently as Alex's fingers tease the tips of the hairs resting on the nape of her neck. "I like your hair this way," she says softly. "It was just starting to grow out when I had to leave."

Olivia tilts her head to allow Alex access to her neck. Lips caress the tender skin, and she shudders again. "A little ready for this?" Alex teases gently.

"Oh god," Olivia responds. "Alex, I never thought this day would come," she says, her voice shaking a little, and Alex's kisses go slower and filled more with affection than passion at the trembling sound. She wraps her arms around Alex, and finds them less filled than she has gotten used to. Casey is hardly overweight, as she keeps implying, but her softball-playing muscle has left her more substantial than Alex's slender body will ever be.

The emotions that flood her at the realization are complex and contradictory. Olivia is so, so glad that Alex is back, and the feel of that thin body in her arms makes her want to cry from joy. But it also brings Casey to mind, and she really never wanted to hurt her.

Alex seems to sense this inner turmoil, and pulls back a little. "Are you ready for this?" she asks. "I know I've only just gotten back… maybe you need more time."

Olivia cups Alex's face in her hands, and leans in to kiss her slowly. When she pulls away, she only moves a few inches, and keeps her gaze on Alex's. "Do you need more time?" she asks.

"No," Alex breathes, and Olivia nods. Her response is clear as she runs her hands down Alex's sides and then pushes up her shirt and pulls it over head in one smooth movement.

"No more waiting."

Olivia opens her eyes slowly, waking with first a wonderful, soul-deep sense of comfort and lassitude, and then sudden panic. Alex. It feels like Alex in her arms. But Alex is gone…? No, Alex is back. Alex is back.

Her arms close tightly over Alex's bare frame, and the blonde mumbles a little before burrowing deeper beneath the covers and into Olivia. Olivia has never been one to make silly romantic declarations, but she swears her heart hurts with the joy that fills her at having her lover back in her arms. "Alex," she murmurs hoarsely, her first words of the day. She ducks her head and kisses Alex's forehead. "Oh god, I missed you."

Alex mumbles something but is clearly still ninety-nine percent asleep, and Olivia grins goofily as she remembers Alex's morning personality. Sunshine and lightness she is not, not before several cups of coffee about the same color and consistency as tar.

Actually, sunshine and light isn't really a huge part of Alex's personality. Olivia can recall off the top of her head more weekends than not when she had to stage a whole plot or hatch some kind of blackmail plan to get Alex to take some time off and do something fun. Her driven personality made her perfect for the SVU cases, but more than a little challenging to deal with in a relationship.

Still.. Olivia would never have traded what she had with Alex for anything else.

But Alex was taken from her. Forcibly without warning and without a choice. Olivia mourned, and then she moved on. And she really does love Casey. She only wishes she could figure out how the hell she means that.

The alarm buzzes beside her head and startles her from her reverie. Alex reaches up for the pillow, slams it over her head and groans. Olivia laughs. "Morning, Sleeping Beauty," she says.

Slowly, the pillow slips aside. "Liv?" Alex says in a sleepy voice. "'Sat really you?"

"Promise," Olivia says tenderly, and pulls the pillow the rest of the way aside. "Kind of like a dream, isn't it?"

Alex's bleary blue eyes are peering up at her from where her blond head is rested on Olivia's collarbone, and she has the most amazing expression on her face… It's like her guard is completely down, and Olivia can see what she means to this woman reflected completely and clearly in those suddenly-warm pools of blue.

Speechless, Olivia waits for Alex to speak, willing to bask in that look all day. It only goes on for a moment longer, though, before Alex groans and tears her eyes away. "You have to get up," she says.

"I have to," Olivia says. "What about you?"

Alex smirks happily. "I am gainfully unemployed, and thus do not have to slump myself out of bed until sometime way past-" she looks at the clock "six-forty in the morning."

"And yet you seem very awake this morning," Olivia remarks.

Alex's brow furrows. "I think that's because my brain isn't screaming at me with anger about the prospect of having to stay awake for the next sixteen hours."

"Very awake," Olivia repeats.

Just continuing to smile, Alex pushes herself up on one elbow and leans forward far enough to touch her lips to Olivia's. "Mmm," she says, her eyes closed, and then pulls away only a few inches. "Well, it could be the giddy excitement," she decides.

Olivia knows exactly what she means-- the fact that this is reality and not just another dream has hit her hard with happy-juice too, and they are both high on life at the moment. Their very own personal miracle.

Alex kisses her again, and then rolls off of her to the left, taking most of the blankets with her. "You have to go to work," she says. Raising a hand imperiously, she points in the direction of the bathroom. "Shower."

Olivia laughs lightly. Alex in fun-mode is rare, but well worth waiting for. "Yes, mistress." She rolls off the bed, stretching gracefully, and Alex closes her mouth on what would have been her rebuttal as she soaks in the naked lines of her lover's body.

When Olivia leaves the shower and heads back into her bedroom for clothes, still rubbing her hair with a towel, she finds that Alex has made good on her promise and fallen asleep again. She stands for a moment, just observing her lover's face in sleep, relaxed and without any of the strong emotions that typically define Alex presiding over it.

When she realizes she has been just standing there and staring for almost five minutes, though, she shakes herself and walks briskly towards the bureau for clothes. On the way out of the room, she pokes Alex playfully in the shoulder and leaps backwards out of reach as the blonde takes a lazy open-handed swipe in her direction with her eyes still closed. "Hey, sleepyhead," she says, grinning. "Your aim sucks."

Alex opens her eyes reluctantly. "So would yours with your eyes closed," she grouches. "Leaving?"

Olivia shakes her head. "Just wondering if you've broken that awful habit of not eating breakfast, yet."

A smile crosses her face, and she shakes her head as best as she can with it still pressed into the pillows. "Sorry. I still live on coffee before noon."

"Well, you want some now?"

Heaving herself upright with a clear effort, Alex shakes her head. "I'm going back to bed after you leave. Coffee would keep me up."

Olivia lays a hand on her lover's shoulder. "Go back to sleep now. I'm just gonna eat and then leave."

Grabbing her robe, Alex stands and shrugs into it. "I'll come sit with you," she says, and Olivia knows better than to argue. Besides, it's not like she really wants to be away from Alex. If the world would just stop for her, Olivia would gladly spend the next week or more without letting Alex out of her sights.

Sadly, the criminal elements of the city have either not gotten the memo or have completely ignored it, and she finds herself required by her own ethics to go in to work, even though she knows none of her co-workers would begrudge her taking a personal day.

Alex settles herself on the sofa as Olivia starts to putter around the kitchen, and flips through some of the television's channels, but pronounces them devoid of anything worth watching after thirty seconds. As Olivia appears with a mug in one hand and a piece of toast in the other, Alex scoots forward on the couch and Olivia slips in behind her, reveling in the comfort of this well-known lounging position.

The coffee mug on the table, Olivia takes another three quick bites and finishes her toast. Wrapping her arms around Alex, she hugs the slight form to her, and rests her chin softly on Alex's shoulder. Alex leans back into her and sighs. "God, I've missed this," she says.

"Me too."

There is silence for a few long moments, and then Olivia realizes that Alex has started to doze on her. "Alex…" she says gently, rubbing a hand down her upper arm, "time to go back to bed."

Alex tilts her head back to look Olivia sleepily in the eye, and kisses her quickly. "Kay." She rouses herself slowly from the couch and stumbles down the hall towards Olivia's bedroom. "Goodnight, Liv."

Olivia grins. "Good morning, Alex. See you later."

There is a little wave in response as Alex rounds the corner to the bedroom, and a light thump as she lands exactly where she intended to, if a little harder than she planned to.

Olivia is almost humming as she leaves the apartment and locks the door behind herself, heading out to work.


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