EVERYONE: GO VISIT ME AND BE MY FRIEND ON MY SPACE! I'munder lilramona to make it easier for you ppl. I also am going to have HINTS AT WHO KYO'S ATTACKER IS ON THERE! I keep almost putting in kyo's ataccers name instead of Kyo's good thing I don't actually talk to you guys other wise the secret would be out and that'd be bad (it might end up on the myspace though .)Also I've got finals coming up next week so its gonna be a little harder for me to up date since I'm oh I don't know trying to not fail them? I think? Any way I've got the um next Monday off since I'm exempting math(my fav subject just don't feel like taking it) and the other period is lunch home all day meaning more story for you!

NOTGOINGTOTELLYOU: why do you not wish for me to not know you identity? I feel soo unloved but woot new reviewer!

NOONE I'm not telling you if it was or wasn't haru wherers the fun in that?

ORUCHUBAN EBICHU WOW I have a lot of perverted reviewers with bad bad bad bad baaaaaaad minds even though I'm one of those ppl that's not the point

SOHMA SHIGURE you wish to eat me why? I write as often as I can except when I'm reading queen of the damned cuz mi friend wishes to barrow it but won't take it out of the library I've got only 100 pgs left! I've also been reading it since September meh its not my fault I'm easily distracted

DRUSCILLA HAWKE you loved me enough to review! Other than anzu no one else will tear glad you like it!

JAWX THORN you must kill your sisters they do not know who THE BILLY IDOL IS! they also interfear with the R&Ring and that's baaaaAAAAAAAAAaaad I am more then willingf to eat your siblings for you yes I ate her rough draft I was mad and believe if it annoys you eat it. I also belive in canabilism too note the offer to eat siblings Kyo's past this chapter Haru's past might be never. Might be nest chapter might be a spin off story dunno yet

YVONNE you can be as blond as you want I'm a brunett and very rarely do I not act like a ditz unless I'm in school then I'm one of those horrible ppl that seem to know everything that I hate with a passion except no one really thinks of me like that cuz when I answer questions I normally phjrase things kinda oddly like how some contries economy went bad I started doing the sound effects from psyco and talking about how it got killed than resurrected but not like on buffy with a motercycle demon gang (see why ppl don't think I'm a pain in the ass know it all? I always seem to need to be on medication for untreated ADHD or A-D-D add! (I said a-d-d when my teacher put add on the board in math))

ANZU2 you didn't review but well I wish to tell you some thing you know the kissing seane that's all cute and fluffy in the first long paragraph I wrote as I see you writing it. And hits space bar to hard then hand moves jerkily they kissed PERIOD. full body twitch eew twitches again oh yeah I've got to go finish reading through amber eyes. listen to my tale bitch!

LOVEANIMESOMUCH yaoi is a male male pair which this story most defiantly is yaoi also makes some people much like myself very…HAPPY .

lemon skittles being thrown about you all know what that means! If you don't damn your dense starts catching lemon skittles in mouth yum skittles TASTE THE YOAI!

I woke up to see Haru coming into the room carrying a tray with bowls of cereal on it.

At my curios glance he smiled and held the tray up higher "yeah I tried to cook, but… it well… it didn't work very well. Sooo cereal?"

" I thought I was supposed to be cooking for you today."

"Only dinner. So yay or nay?"

"Yay? If you didn't try to cook it. You didn't try to cook the cereal did you?"

"Only the first time," he said placing the tray on my lap and then climbing over me and sitting down on the bed, we ate in silence. Me lost in my thoughts of the previous night. After we had finished eating Haru placed the tray on the floor and poked my cheek startling me.

"You ok?" he asked looking at me with a tinge of sadness in his eyes.

"Huh? Oh last night…yeah…I think so," I mumbled staring down at my bandaged hand. Haru's fingers wrapped around mine startling me out of the thoughts I was about to sink into.

"It wasn't your fault she killed herself. Don't ever let anyone tell you other wise," Haru whispered pulling me into his arms, "Kyo pay attention I'm serious it wasn't your fault. She was probably depressed or something like that. There's no chance she would have killed herself because of you."

"You weren't there you've never met her she hated me I wasn't supposed to have been born. She didn't want me and couldn't deal with having to see me every day. She didn't want any one to know about me. She didn't want to do what she had to, to be able to take care of me and Tohru! She didn't want to have a son! She killed herself be…because she…she didn't… didn't want…people to know that…that she…she was a…a whore," I broke down sobbing bitterly once more clutching Haru's pajama top in my hands as though I would end up back in the hospital looking at my mom's dead body once again. Haru's arms tightened around me as he buried his head in my hair, his tears sliding into my hair, dampening it where they fell, as mine soaked his shirtfront. Haru held me until my sobs had subsided and I sat there in his arms hiccupping quietly. He pulled back and wiped my face with his shirtsleeve before gently pulling me towards him. He placed a gentle kiss on my lips. The kiss seemed to be full of need and desperation as if he was afraid of loosing me as I was of loosing him. we parted and Haru rested his head against my shoulder, arms still wrapped around me.

"You won't leave me no matter what I do right? Even if I don't tell you everything about me you'll stay as long as I don't hit you right? Just as long as I don't hurt you right?" Haru asked looking up at me eyes shining from unshed tears. I nodded wordlessly unable to say a word at the emotions coursing through me. All the while thinking that even if Haru did hurt me in any way that I'd stay with him. He was the first person, other than Tohru, to treat me like I wasn't a monster. I pulled him closer and kissed him gently on the lips conveying everything I felt for him. Gently he pushed me onto my back his lips no longer on my mouth but sucking and nipping at my neck. His fingers began to play with the buttons on my shirt; he lifted his head looking me in the eyes, and then cocked his head to the side in question. Slightly dazed I nodded my ok and allowed him to unbutton my shirt. Working his way down my throat, Haru gently massaged my nipple rolling it into a hard nub. His mouth continued lower and lower down my boy eliciting small gasps and moans. His mouth covered my other nipple. His teeth nipping and tugging at it as I moaned out in pleasure writhing under him. I felt him smirk against my chest as he licked at my nipple. Once he had both my nipples rolled into hard little nubs he continued down my stomach dipping his tongue into my navel. I gasped out arching into his touch. A small chuckle escaped Haru's mouth as he pulled back away from my stomach before his lips met with mine again. My lungs were burning from lack of air but I couldn't bring myself to pull away from his touch spots started to float before my eyes just as he pulled back gasping for breath my sight cleared quickly as fresh air filled my lungs. Haru smiled down at me, and then rested his head against my chest a lazy smile spread across his face as he slipped back into sleep. Me following suit a few minutes later.

When I next woke it was a little after noon and it had begun snowing. I nudged Haru awake and then headed towards the bathroom for a shower. As I walked past the sink I see that Haru had put the razor away last night to keep either of us from getting hurt and helping to get rid of temptation. I stripped off my clothing and quickly shower. Wrapping a towel around my waist I head into the bathroom searching through my draw for something to wear. I pulled out a pair of black pants that are slightly too big on me, and a camouflage shirt. I walked into the kitchen to the sight of you staring pathetically into the fridge.

"Want some help there?" I asked smiling slightly at Haru's thankful nod. I went over to the fridge and pulled out some leftovers and started to heat them up.

"Know what today is?" Haru asked sitting on the counter watching me as I pulled plates out of the cabinet.

"Christmas eave?" asked a small half smile crossing my face as I pulled the leftovers out of the oven splitting them between two plates and handing Haru one before joining him on the counter.

"Yup so you know we have to do something special before I go to work right?"

"Your working today? But its Christmas eave can't you take the day off?" I asked joining him on the counter.

"No everyone else has a family or kids that they want to spend the day with. But don't worry I'll be here until late tonight." Haru said pulling me to him.

"How late?"

"Like two in the morning you'll be half asleep by that time so don't worry. Besides I'll be home before you wake up," Haru said quickly kissing the side of my face.

"All right," I say slightly disappointed. We finished eating and spent the rest of the day in compatible silence. I cooked dinner as I had promised, we then continued to just sit around, Haru reading and me watching him trying to figure out what his job was. Close to eleven Haru went over to the closet and pulled out the plastic bag he had brought home earlier in the week.

"What's that?" I asked rolling over on the couch to look at him.

"Part of your present but you have to go get changed now so that week make it there on time," he said throwing the bag to me. Looking into the bag I pulled out a blond wig gold boxers and gold sneakers.

"I am not wearing these," I said putting the stuff back into the bag.

"But you have to its no fun otherwise. Besides I'm going to be wearing a corset. Its part of the fun everyone goes in costume," Haru said shoving me into the bathroom and closing the door behind me. Trying the door I could feel Haru in the other side pulling it closed. Sighing I quickly pulled on the boxers. I was glad to see that they came down almost to my knees completely covering the scars on my thighs. I pulled on the shoes and looked at myself in the mirror laughing at how ridiculous I looked. Haru then burst into the bathroom in fishnets, a purple corset and matching underwear.

"You're going to wear that in public?" I asked feeling my jaw drop.

"Absolutely besides don't you feel better about what your costume now?" He asked putting the blond wig on my head and adjusting it.

"Uh…yeah…I think," I said still staring at him wondering how he could pull off looking halfway attractive in the outfit he was wearing.

"Come on we're going to be late," Haru said pulling on black glittery high heels, grabbing some money and his keys, and stuffing both down the front of his corset. Snorting despite my attempts to cover it up I watched Haru stumble around the apartment making sure he had everything. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door. We walked down the street with Haru stumbling every few steps until we reached an old movie theater with a small crowd of people in costumes walking around in front of it. As we walked in I saw two girls around my age. One was wearing a gold sequined leotard, and tap shoes with red hair, while the other had on a maids outfit with frizzy uncontrolled hair. The girls were singing and dancing behind a gold top hat on the floor.

"Oh come on people give us at least a little bit of money. We don't have enough to get in!" yelled the girl with frizzy hair.

"You people suck! The two of us can act out the entire damn movie," yelled the girl with red hair.

"Should we give them some money?" I asked looking at the two girls who were still shouting at the crowd.

"You want to?" Haru asked looking at me. He then walked over to the girls with out waiting for a reply and began whispering to them before walking back over too me leaving the girls with happy smiles. Bursting in to a different song the two of them began dancing and trying desperately not to laugh as they pretended to group each other while singing. When they were finished Haru walked over to them and gave them both enough money to get in.

"Oh yay money from your man boob," they chorused before bursting into laughter.

"Thanks!" yelled the one with frizzy hair starting to walk off.

"Don't thank me. He's the one that wanted to give you money."

"Thanks! You make a really sexy Rocky!" the two yelled before running off. I looked at Haru in question but all I got was a small smile and a 'you'll see in a few minutes.' He then pulled me on line to buy tickets, and then headed into the theater.

"Hope you don't mind that we aren't getting anything to eat but I gave those girls the money I brought for food," he said heading down the aisle looking for seats. The two girls shouted and waved us over to sit with them.

"Hi I'm Squirrel, Magenta for the night," said the girl in the maids uniform.

"And I'm Sam AKA Columbia," said the one in the leotard.

"I'm Haru or-"

"FRANKIE!"

"Yes and this is Kyo or Rocky as you pointed out earlier."

"Kewl," said squirrel looking over at Sam with a wicked look in her eye while scratching her eyebrow.

"We've got popcorn we'll share…possibly…Squirrel!"

"Ne?"

"Don't eat all the popcorn we're sharing with them too."

"yeah sure they did pay for us to get in," Squirrel said tilting the bag of popcorn towards us.

We sat down and waited for the movie to start. Haru and the girls spent the movie shouting out lines, throwing things, singing, and dancing in their seats. After the movie we sleepily walked out of the theater said our goodbyes and walked back to the apartment. I changed groggily into a pair of boxers. Falling onto the bed I quickly began to fall asleep.

Hey I'm going to work now," Haru said leaning over me. I nodded vaguely and went to sleep.

I woke to the feel of a gag being stuffed into my mouth. I jerked sideways trying to get free.

"You know being gore for over two weeks and living with someone with that kind of reputation one has to wonder what you have been up to," he said straddling my waist. He wrapped his fingers around my wrists crushing them he quickly bound them together. I struggled desperately as he quickly stripped me of me boxers. He then forced me on to my stomach my face shoved down into the pillow nearly suffocating me as he unfastened his pants. I felt the bed shift as he came up behind me. He yanked my hips up keeping one hand pressed against the back of my head. He paused for a second behind me, I could feel the heat coming off of him. he then thrust hard and deep into me. I cried out against the gag feeling myself tear. He continued to thrust into me my blood becoming lubricant. I cried out desperately against the gag. He came forcefully coating my insides. He then pulled out while grabbing my hair and forcing me to bend back, my spine cracking loudly as tears streamed down my face.

"Not a word. Not a word to anyone," he growled out shaking my head violently with every syllable. I nodded whimpering at the pain in my scalp and my rear. He dropped me back down into my pillow un binding my hands.

"Don't think that just because you run away it means that I won't find you. You left a fucking message say where you were staying you fucking moron," he shouted punching my hard in my still healing ribs. I cried out curling up into a ball.

"Oh but I can't leave any marks on you, your little whore'll find them and be mad at me won't he?" he said pulling the gag out of my mouth and getting off the bed.

"Wha—What do you mean Whore?" I asked struggling to move around so that I could look at him.

"Exactly what your mother was before she killed herself because she didn't want to have anything to do with you," he said walking out the door.

Shaking I crawled out of the bed over to the bathroom. Fumbling through the cabinets I found the razor and shakily brought it to my thigh. The bite of the blade a reassuring feeling to me, I watched the blood bubble to the surface my shaking slowly subsiding.

'He found me. He came after me while in Haru's apartment…He…he…he's going to come back. And…and Haru. HARU- Haru lied he lied to me. He came after me even while I was here…and…and his job…his job…'

Picking up the razor once again I dragged it viciously across the top of my thigh trying to control the fear and rage welling up inside me. After ten minutes my mind was blissfully empty as I began to take a shower washing away everything. After the shower I bandaged my thigh pulled on a pair of boxers and went into the living room to wait for Haru's return.