A/N: I've never played ffx or ffx2 – in fact, I don't even own a playstation (Sigh) So don't blame me if I get info wrong, but do correct me if you want :)

Well, this story isn't really intended to be funny – just as a light read that I randomly had the need to write because my other fic has been too angsty for me lately lol. Rikku may seem out of character in this story, but it's all out of good reason :).

Rikku's 15, Gippal's 16. (Let's just say he's not off to Crimson Squad yet.)


As Slick as her Blades
1FRICKENgirl


Whoosh… WHAM!

Missed.

Whoosh… WHAM!

She narrowed her eyes. How many tries had it been now?

WhooshHe suddenly appeared and caught it in mid air, just before it dug into the wall, through his taped photograph. He stared at the dagger in his hands and then at the owner. "If you want to kill me, you'll need a lot more practice," he told her.

At that comment, she withdrew a sharp propeller-like blade and decisively flung it towards him. It barely zipped past his ear and planted itself in the beaten down wall behind him. She smiled at him sweetly. "Would you like to be my new target board then?"

He turned over to her previous target – his photograph taped carelessly on his wall – and ripped it off. There were a few holes where she had gotten him – his hair and his nostrils. He winced. "Maybe you need a therapist instead."

She reached for the dagger on her belt.

He stepped back instantaneously. "Now, now, Cid's Girl…" He held up his hands in defence. "Fighting does not solve anything."

She swiftly pulled out another one of her propeller blades. "You have three seconds to get out," she warned him.

He sighed in amusement. "Look, I don't even-"

"One…"

"It wasn't like-"

"Two…"

"I love you."

"…"

He took a cautious step towards her. "…so put the blade down."

WHAM!

He carefully opened his eye in slight relief after not sensing any new wound our sudden gust of blood. But as soon as he saw the evidence on the ground of what the blade had maliciously done to him, he shouted in disbelief. "MY HAIR!"

She walked calmly past him to gather her weapons which were buried in the wall.

He rapidly scrambled to her bedroom mirror and whined at the sight of his three favourite strands having just been beheaded. He glared at her in rage.

She leaned coolly against the frame of her door. "Warned ya."

He pointed to his deformed hair strands. "Look what you did, Cid's Girl! How am I supposed to go out in public like this?"

She didn't seem to care. "How about I kill you now so you won't have to worry about that, hmm?"

He balled his fists and marched steadily towards her. He stared straight deadly into her tranquil eyes, nose barely touching hers. "You.Have.Issues."

"I.Wonder.Why," she replied in the same tone. She forcefully gripped his chin in her palms. "Now, get out before I shave your entire head."

He narrowed his eyes at her action. He hesitated briefly. "I wasn't even kissing her."

She instantly slammed his head into the wall.

He let out a growl, gripping his face so he could get his mind to focus. "She was the one that kissed me!"

She raised her balled fist in an attempt to knock him out.

He caught her arm and forced her against the door. "Look," he said in a demanding tone, pressing his nose against hers. "Why would I want an ordinary girl like her when I can have a lunatic like you?"

She smirked. "Like I'd ever want you."

He rolled his eyes and patted her cheek softly. "Kid, you know you're crazy about me. So I'll tell you what, if you drop this whole murder act, maybe – just maybe - I'll consider going out with you." He gave her one of his dashing smiles.

She smiled gently. "My, that is quite a generous offer."

He glanced downward with a grin. "What can I say, I'm a nice guy."

She shook her head disappointedly. "It's just a shame that I have to kill you first."

He scoffed. "No wonder you've never been on a date."

She shoved him away from her, withdrawing her dagger. "You have three seconds."

"C'mon, can't you just-"

"One…"

"I never even thought you-"

"Two…"

"Will you marry me?"

"…"

Taking advantage of the delicate moment, he grabbed her petit body and easily swung it over his shoulder. He began to take them outside.

"Gippal!" she hissed, slamming her fists into his back. "Put me down, right now!" She grabbed onto the frames of doors, scratched her nails along the walls for a grip, kicked and screamed for him to release her to no avail.

He continued to carry her until the sunlight welcomed their faces and the sand greeted their feet. He then thrust her body roughly onto the ground.

She groaned in ache from the impact, drawing her legs close to her and squinting the sunlight out of her eyes.

He stood over her and then leaned down to sit on her stomach.

She immediately gasped in pain and swung her arms about to clobber him.

He quickly seized both of her fists with one hand and pinned them over her head in the sand. Satisfied with their position and him having the upper advantage, he shook his finger sternly at her. "Bad, bad girl…"

"Gip – pAL!" she gasped squirming under his weight.

"Now since you're here and all -" He leaned down close to her ear. "- let's talk about us."

She steered her arms about. "The-re's.. no-nothing- totalkabout!"

"Sure there is. First of all, there's me. And then we have you. And then we have me and you. And then we have times where there's just me but you're still around even though you claim you don't care but we both know you-"

She growled.

He lifted his weight off of her slightly so she could answer him. "The point is, we're on good terms, Kid. So why the sudden threats to kill me?"

That little room of breathing space was all that she needed. With one sharp movement, she vehemently rolled on her back, knocking him off balance and flat on the ground. She reached into her back pocket and took out another one of her propeller-like blades. She placed one hand defiantly on his chest to steady herself and aimed the blade at his throat.

He let out a nervous laugh. "Heh…?"

She moved it dangerously closer. "You have three seconds to make me forgive you."

"I didn't even do anything!"

"One…"

"She kissed me. Hear that? She to me."

"Two…"

"I love you."

"Hah!" she bellowed out. "I'm not falling for that one again."

He smiled mischievously at her. "Oh, you're falling alright…" He suddenly reached up and knocked the weapon out of her hands. Before she was able to react, he kneed her in her back.

She gasped, and fell directly on his waiting lips.

When they parted, she collapsed, humiliated, on top of him. She let out a sigh of disappointment. "Oh, poopie…" she whined at her failure to resist.

He ruffled her hair teasingly. "That's okay, Cid's Girl. If you wanna to kill me -" He gently tilted her head up to face him. "- you'll need a lot more practice."

She paused for three seconds.

And then she punched him.


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