Stay With Me
- Healing Kiss -
By: Lil' Amethyst Angel
Warnings: Slight swearing, shounen-ai, slight violence, and mentions of past abuse.
They were dancing in endless circles around each other. They played games neither themselves nor the other could win. JJ and Drake liked each other. It wasn't the kind of 'like' between friends or even colleagues. It was the kind of 'like' where you wanted to kiss the other person senseless. And as much as both men tried to be discrete, everyone noticed; everyone, that is, except for each other of course. That's just how these things seem to go.
Two men, in particular, were tiring of their colleagues little game.
"It'll never end. They're blind, I tell you! I swear, they're doing this just to piss me off." Dee groaned.
Ryo rolled his eyes at his worked-up partner.
"Yes, Dee, it was all some brilliant scheme just to piss you off." Sarcasm dripped from every word.
"I'm glad you agree." Dee replied.
"Look, maybe you should talk to Drake. There's no way JJ's going to take the first step. He just...can't. Not after all that." The light-haired man sighed. 'That' being JJ's situation with Sean. No one at the office mentioned Sean anymore. Dee, Ryo, and Drake refused to say the name because they didn't want to bring up bad memories. The others in the precinct had gotten then hint that JJ and Sean were over and dutifully avoided the topic.
"And I have to talk to Drake why? If I recall, I already did my friendly meddling. Why don't you talk to him?"
Ryo crossed his arms defiantly. "You're closer with Drake. You've known him longer."
Dee waved a hand at Ryo, signaling his partner's triumph on the topic.
"Yeah, fine. I'll 'alk to 'im tomorrow." Dee's words were slightly muffled by the pillow he buried his face in.
"Good." Ryo gave his lover a smirk before turning off the bedroom light.
JJ's head whipped back with the force of the punch.
"I can't believe you would leave for some trash like that!" Sean screamed, pointing to a crumpled and bloody figure a few feet away.
"D-drake..." JJ rasped, barely able to talk. Pain assaulted him once again as a sharp kick was delivered to his middle. Another followed, this time smashing into his shoulder. JJ felt a sharp stab of throbbing pain and managed to comprehend that a bone must have been snapped. JJ's bleary gaze moved slowly to where his partner laid, as if dead. The lavender-haired man reached out a hand, straining to get to other officer.
Seeing that JJ was unable to move much, Sean moved back to Drake. He looked at the unconscious man in disgust and kicked him savagely in the ribs.
"This piece of shit? This-" It was spat in utter revulsion, "is what you left me for!"
"N-no. I didn't b-betray you." JJ cried. He was growing very tired. He shut his eyes.
"Oh, but you did. You love him, don't you?" Sean's voice snarled the question. JJ didn't reply.
"Don't you?" It was no longer Sean's voice that spoke, but Dee's voice.
JJ opened his eyes. He was no longer in his old apartment with Sean looming over him or Drake lying, bleeding on the floor. He was in a small café, which he recognized as being the one just around the corner from the precinct.
"You do love Drake, right?" Dee asked, drawing the younger man's attention back to him.
"Yes." JJ found his voice saying, surprising himself. It was the first time he had admitted to liking Drake that way- not to mention loving him- out loud.
His surrounding shifted yet again. JJ was standing in front of Drake, in the living room of Drake's apartment, which JJ had moved back into after they became partners again.
"I'm sorry, but I don't love you back." A look of abhorrence adorned his face. "How could I? You're weak, JJ. You let Sean beat you. You didn't even try to fight back. And now you expect me to love you? What's wrong with you? The only reason I let you live here is out of pity. We're not even friends anymore. That ended the moment you started to lie to me about what was going on with that boyfriend of yours. You were yelling at me about trust the other day. Some hypocrite you are. You lied to me. I bet you didn't even feel guilty. You had no intention of telling me, did you?"
JJ shook his head in denial, but no words would come out, so Drake continued his rant.
"You liked what Sean did to you, didn't you? You liked when he would slap you around like the bitch you are. You're sick." By the time Drake finished tears were freely trailing down JJ's face. JJ fell to the ground and brought his knees to his chest, resting his head on them. Everything else faded away and all he was aware of was the hot tears scorching his cheeks as the ascended.
He opened his eyes once more. This time he was met with the darkened guest bedroom in Drake's apartment. He sat up and looked to the table that was beside the bed where the glaring red light of the digital clock stated that it was three a.m.
JJ had moved back into Drake's apartment shortly after they made up. They thought it was wise since they were partners and would have the same hours more or less, so they could car pool that way.
JJ swung his legs over the side of the bed. The coldness of the floor shocked him for a moment. He rested his elbows on his knees and bent over, burying his face in his hands. That dream had seemed so real. He could only remember flashes, but that was enough. The image of Drake beaten almost beyond recognition had startled him. It was a silent fear JJ had never spoken of: Sean hurting someone he cared about. Even after all this time JJ still feared Sean and he hated himself for it.
Scenes of Drake's harsh rejection played over and over in JJ's head. That was another secret fear he had. JJ had known that he loved Drake for a while now. He had never admitted it out loud and had no intention of doing so, especially after that dream. JJ knew Drake could never like him in that sense, though. He was, after all, broken.
JJ blinked away the tears that had been held captive in his eyes, just waiting to be freed. He took a deep breath, and slowly got up and exited the room.
He quietly padded down the hallway towards the door that led to the small balcony attached to the apartment. JJ slid the door open, momentarily forgetting about the wind chimes that tinkled every time the glass doors were opened or closed. JJ cursed himself, hoping that he hadn't woken Drake, whom he knew was a light sleeper. JJ hurried outside and closed the door behind himself.
A rush of cool air rustled his lavender locks. He stepped up to the rail and leaned against it, admiring the sight presented before him. Darkness was draped over the city like a blanket, lights from buildings twinkling in contrast. It was relatively quiet. The faint echo of a car horn and rushing vehicles could be heard in the distance. He dimly heard the swishing of wind, attacking buildings and trees. The chimes clanked merrily every now and then as they danced with the breeze, pushing him into a gentle lull.
The young officer barely registered the heavy balcony door sliding open and his partner stepping up beside him.
"It's nice out." Drake's voice was deep and rough, laced with sleep.
JJ turned to face them other man. Drake's eyes were drooping slightly and his sandy hair was bedraggled. (1) JJ thought he looked cute like that. He started to smile when the dream came rushing back. He managed a slightly strained half-smile.
"Mm." JJ agreed. "I'm sorry, Drake. Did I wake you?"
"Well, yeah, but don't worry about it." Drake grinned a little.
Neither spoke for a few moments. Both just watched the city in peace.
Finally Drake's gentle voice cut into the silence, "Why are you up, JJ?"
JJ thought about lying, but decided against it. Drake's words from his dream suddenly came to mind, "You were yelling at me about trust the other day. Some hypocrite you are. You lied to me."
"I had a nightmare." He answered truthfully.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Drake was still facing the scene in front of them, staring off into the distance.
"Not really." JJ added, "But thanks."
Drake nodded in reply.
Silence again.
"I don't get them much anymore, you know." JJ said quietly. Drake looked at him in question, so he explained, "The nightmares, I mean. I don't get them as often. I...he…I'm trying not to let him control me…anymore. I'm trying."
Drake looked at JJ intensely. He looked deeply into JJ's eye before speaking, "I know, JJ. I know you are."
JJ felt his throat constrict and without thinking about it, threw himself into Drake's arms, which immediately wound around him. Time came to a halt for both of them, as they stood, drawing warmth from one another.
"Hey, Drake, ya ready to go?" JJ called to his partner. He flung his coat over his shoulder as he prepared to return home.
"Drake, can I talk to you before you go?" Dee asked.
"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll meet ya at the car, JJ." Drake said. JJ waved his hand to signal confirmation.
Drake leaned against the desk Dee was sitting at.
"What's up?"
Dee looked at Drake, and spoke in an unusually serious tone, "Okay, I'm gonna be blunt. Stop pussyfooting around and be a man."
Drake blinked.
"Umm…what?"
Dee rolled his eyes.
"I've known you longer, so apparently it's my job to get your head out of your ass." Dee said, referring to the conversation he had earlier with Ryo. This, of course, confused Drake even more.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Drake asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You and JJ. It's obvious to everyone and anyone that you two have the hots for each other. It's time one of you took some initiative. And there's no way JJ is going to be the first one to confess…Not after all that shit with the bastard." Dee spat the last sentence, referring to Sean. He took a breath to calm down and continued, "Look, JJ has some rejection issues. You gotta make the first move, man."
Drake stood in shock, sputtering. "I-it's not like that. I would, just, ugh…Look, I don't want to betray JJ's trust by hitting on him. He needs a friend, not some guy lusting after him."
Dee gave Drake an odd look.
"You're an idiot." Dee deadpanned.
"Wha-you-I-what the fuck do you mean?" Drake said, getting red in the face. Whether it was because of embarrassment, frustration or anger, Dee didn't know.
"I mean, you're an idiot." Dee enunciated each word clearly and slowly. "Did you ever consider maybe JJ need more than a friend? Maybe he needs someone to show him what a healthy relationship is supposed to be like. Someone to show him what love is- not that twisted shit the bastard was feeding him."
Drake looked at Dee in shock and dawning realization.
"More than that, he needs you." Dee smiled at Drake's confusion. "He really likes you, the same way that you like him."
A few days had passed since Dee's chastisement of Drake. Even though Drake knew Dee was right and wanted to (and how very badly he wanted to) tell JJ his feelings, something always held him back. What if JJ didn't feel the same? They're living together and they're partners at work. How awkward would that be?
"Drake! The guys just split. One ran down that ally and the other ran into that building. You take the guy in the ally! And, shit, be careful, he has a gun!" JJ yelled to his partner as he ran after the perp. "Gods, why must they always run?" JJ shouted to the sky as he ran into the building, which was currently abandoned for renovations.
Drake quickly followed the other's hurried orders and ran down the garbage-littered ally. He was chasing one of the two thieves who were currently trying to escape with bags full of cash. The man he was chasing was thin and willowy, running clumsily down the ally. The thief finally came to the end of the ally, a brick wall stopping any further attempts at escape. After a trying to climb it with no satisfactory results, the man saw the futility and tried to get the gun from his back pocket with shaky hands. Drake saw him reaching for the weapon and immediately pulled his own gun.
"Freeze!" He bellowed. The man did so, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. "Put your hands behind you're head. Now!" Drake started advancing on the other. The thief interlaced his fingers behind his head warily. Quickly returning the gun to its holster, Drake pulled out his handcuffs and turned the man around, pushing him into the wall and cuffing him.
Sirens were blaring as another car drove up at the entrance to the ally. Drake roughly grabbed the criminal and pulled him towards the car. Ted and his partner, Tyler, stepped out of the car. Ted opened the back door for Drake to shove the prisoner into. Drake and JJ's police car was back at the scene of the crime. They had chased the thieves for a few blocks.
"Where's JJ?" Ted asked.
"He followed the other one into that building there." He said pointing to the said location.
A few seconds later JJ stumbled out of the building, pushing the other criminal in front of him.
"Move you ass." JJ growled, at the resisting prisoner. Drake hurried over to his partner. JJ didn't look too well. He was swaying slightly and he kept blinking rapidly.
"You okay?" Drake asked anxiously.
"Yeah. The bastard knocked me in the head with a friggin' pipe." JJ slurred slightly.
"JJ, maybe you should sit down. Maybe you got a concussion or somethin'." Drake looked at his partner worriedly.
"Yeah…yeah…I think that'd be a good idea." No sooner had JJ said that, then he fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Fuck! JJ!" Drake rushed to the lavender-haired man's side. Another police car had arrived. "Ted, call a bus! And make sure that fucker is put in a car and taken to the precinct."
Drake was barely aware of the remaining criminal being thrust towards the other police vehicle and Ted's voice calling for an ambulance over the radio system.
Drake stared down at his partner. JJ looked so much like that day he had found him beaten by Sean. Drake felt himself starting to panic.
"He has to wake up. C'mon, JJ, man. You gotta get up. No sleeping on the job. Come on, get up. C'mon, JJ. Please. Don't do this to me. JJ…" Drake mumbled quietly.
"Out of the way!" A woman called as she ran towards JJ, followed by another man. Drake stood up and backed away a little, as the two paramedics began to take care of his partner. He watched silently as JJ was loaded onto a stretcher and shuffled into the ambulance, which started to speed away the moment the doors closed.
Drake didn't move for a moment, everything washing over him. Then, he hopped into action and began to head back to his car, so he could drive after them to the hospital.
Drake sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs in the waiting room at the hospital. The doctor hadn't been with JJ very long, but to Drake it was excruciatingly similar to an eternity. He spent that time doing a lot of thinking.
A doctor stepped into the room and came towards Drake. The officer stood as she approached.
"Is he okay?"
The woman nodded. "Your partner will be fine. That hit to the head was what caused him to pass out. He has a slight concussion, but will be just fine to leave. He's awake now if you want to go see him. He's getting ready to leave."
Drake rushed to JJ's room, where he found his partner putting his jacket on. Drake froze at the doorway. Sunlight danced on the strands of JJ's hair as he turned from the window. His clothes held a ruffled look and he wore a small, sweet smile on his face.
"Hi." JJ said softly.
"Hi." Drake nodded back.
"Sorry for worrying you and causing all that trouble." JJ said. "Well, I guess we should be off. Our shift isn't over yet."
"Wait. JJ, can I talk to you for a minute?" Drake gulped.
In the waiting room Drake had come to an important decision. He was going to tell JJ how he felt about him. It was true that Drake was scared that JJ would reject his feelings, but he was even more terrified that he would never get a chance to tell JJ his feelings.
"Um, okay. What's up, Drake?"
"Before I start, just promise not to freak. And if you don't feel the same way, it's okay. I don't want things to change if that's the case. But I need to tell you this. I was so scared when I saw you hurt. I know it wasn't a serious injury, but I was still scared that you would be taken away from me. I need to tell you this before anything or anyone else tries to take you away from me." Drake stopped and locked his eyes with JJ. "I, I think, I love you."
Silence.
JJ stared at his partner with wide eyes. Drake refused to look away, as much as he wanted to. A huge beaming smile broke unto JJ's face.
"I love you too, Drake." JJ grinned and Drake let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Drake stepped towards JJ and stopped when his face was but a few centimeters from his love's. Both men stared into the depths of each other's eyes. Everything but each other was lost to them. Drake's head bent down slightly and JJ's tilted up a small bit, and eventually their lips met. It was soft and warm and somewhat chaste. And, both agreed, it ended far too soon. But they had a job to do and, anyways, a hospital isn't the ideal place to be ramming your tongue down your partner's throat. So they separated and with a ghost of a caress of hands, they left the room, both smiling contentedly.
A month and four weeks had passed since that fateful day in the hospital. Drake and JJ had decided to try to keep their relationship quiet, separating their personal life from work. Plus, they didn't want to have to go through all the good-natured, yet annoying nevertheless, teasing from their coworkers. It was hard and eventually temptation proved to be too much for the both of them. They were found making out a closet three weeks into their relationship. Needless to say, it was now common knowledge that the two were partners in every sense of the word.
A dark-haired officer made his way out of the chief's office with a scowl on his face. Moments before yelling could be heard, as the chief scolded Dee for his latest risky (and questionably legal) actions.
"What didja do to piss of the chief this time, Dee?" Drake asked, grinning.
"He's just being an old fart as usual. Not my fault he has it out for me." Dee shrugged. Drake rolled his eyes at the flippant response. Dee took a seat next to the taller man at the desk. (2)
"How are things going with JJ?"
Drake smiled at the thought of his partner. Dee raised an eyebrow at the look. It was obvious Drake was far gone.
"Things are great." His face still held that goofy, love-struck smile. "He seems more comfortable with me now. At first he was really nervous around me, y'know? He seemed worried that I was gonna start doing what Sean did. But eventually he seemed to get the message that I wasn't gonna start beatin' on him like that fuck-up did. He's finally starting to heal, I mean really heal. He used to think that it was his fault and he was weak, but he's starting to realize that he was the victim there and no one blamed him but himself."
Drake's voice softened and he grew quiet, taking on a sad tone, "It really hurt to see him that way- thinking he was worthless, hating himself. I know he didn't show it much, but I saw him, sometimes, when he let his shields drop. And it hurt me." When Drake looked up at Dee, Dee could see the furious fire in his eyes. "That bastard, Sean, he hurt all of us by doing that to JJ."
Dee jerked at the growled statement in surprise. He thought about what Drake had said. It was true. He may have hurt JJ the most, but that wasn't all. Drake was hurt by what JJ suffered. It caused Drake, Dee and Ryo too, pain to know that their friend couldn't trust him, to know JJ was wronged in such a way.
Drake continued after a moment, "But JJ is starting to let go. He rarely has the nightmares now. They used to come almost every night, but now, they almost never do."
Dee thought about this. It showed that JJ was starting to heal, but that Sean was still a part of his life (but, thankfully, a part that was fading into oblivion). Dee wasn't stupid enough to think that JJ would ever fully get over what Sean did, but he hoped that Drake could erase some of that pain.
Later that night, Drake was watching television while JJ was in his room on his laptop. JJ was checking his e-mail when a particular e-mail caught his eye. He clicked on it and his eyes widened. It read:
Hey JJ,
I've missed you. I've changed over the past few months. Please believe me. I want to apologize for everything I've done. Meet me at our old apartment at 8 p.m. tomorrow.
Sean
JJ couldn't believe it. After all this time, Sean contacted him. Could he really have changed like he said he has? During his time with Drake JJ had started to heal. He was almost over Sean (as over as he could be anyway). He was finally going to be alright. And now this. JJ decided he will never be able to fully heal until he confronts Sean about everything. Making up his mind, JJ started typing his reply.
To Be Continued
Yes, bedraggled is a word, in case anyone doubted my credibility. It basically means disheveled
I don't know if Drake actually is taller, but let's just say he is
Author's Note: I'm so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. I've had no inspiration and little time. Imade an extra long chapter soyou have to forgive me.:) I'm sorry if I've been getting at all repetitive with my descriptions or vocabulary in general. I'm trying not to be, I assure you. There are exactly two chapters left after this, and I don't have any intention of creating and sequel at the moment.
I am, however, working on another FAKE fic, an arc to be exact. It's going to be called the 'Twisted Perspectives Arc' and consist of 3 separate fics. The first one will focus mainly on Dee and Ryo, from the point of view of a stalker. But don't worry, the last story will focus completely on JJ and Drake. It won't be up for a while because after finishing this fic, I have to finish 'Strangers on a Bus' and the two Weiss Kreuz fics I'm currently working on. I really should start finishing one story before starting another. I have over 10 fics started (none of which are up yet). Bad, bad habit, that is.
On another topic, I was looking for some synonyms (for school) and found out that jokey is a word. I don't know why, but I found that amusing and thought I would mention it too you. Jeez, this was a long author's note. Well, thanks to everyone who reviewed, I luv ya for it!
athana233- Thanks for the review and thanks a bunch for the hugs:D
dramadiva- Don't yell at me.:'( I did tell you, it's not my fault you always ignore what I'm saying.
