Mary Connell found herself cursing the lack of activity in the Montecito, from an entertainment coordinators point of view, anyway. It wasn't like the casino was quiet, not by any stretch of the imagination. There were people everywhere you looked, and a few places where you kind of wouldn't want to, either. Every table open was full, the same with the roulette wheels and the slot machines, people who wanted to make a million or lose a million, it was all the same down here. There were people of every race, religion, maybe even every country, all here in this resort, and that was only one of many reasons why Mary loved working here.

It was funny that she couldn't seem to remember what all of those other reasons were right now.

She just wasn't comfortable here anymore. It wasn't like she hadn't tried to get on with life and work and all of those other things after what happened with… She took a deep breath against the wave of pain that hit her, thinking even his name made her feel like there was a baseball being pitched into her stomach at a hundred miles per hour.

…Danny McCoy…

There, she did it. She thought about him and what she did, without actually being physically sick, which made it the first time in days. Being in this casino, in this hotel…everywhere she looked, he was there. Not in person, because she had a feeling that he was maybe avoiding her, but the memories were, and that was more than enough.

She wanted to get past what happened, she honestly did, and she knew the whole thing was her idea. Not her best idea, granted, but still. But it was something that had to be done, and if she was honest, she had known that from the second he had put that ring on her finger, whether she had wanted to acknowledge it or not.

The baseball was back again, and this time it brought friends.

The engagement ring…

It had been so beautiful. That night when he'd pulled it out of his pocket, she had been blown away, made breathless not just by the gesture, but by this bright, sparkling diamond that glimmered in the candlelight around them. When he'd placed it on her finger, it was a perfect fit, looking just right on her hand when she looked down at it. She had loved having that ring on her finger. She had loved the way she sometimes forgot about it and then she'd just catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of her eye and she'd smile to herself because of it. She loved the way she'd see someone's eyes drawn to it when she talked to them, whether it was someone she knew or some stranger she was helping with directions through the maze-like resort. She loved the way she would always use that hand to brush back her hair, or shake someone else's, just so she could show it off that little bit more. It wasn't just the ring, it was what it had stood for. It was the fact that he had given it to her that made it matter, and she would have felt the same whether it had cost thousands of dollars or twenty five cents. It felt like, while she was wearing that ring, no matter which hand it was on, there was always a little bit of Danny with her, and it was beautiful just because of that.

She knew now that it wasn't the ring, he was just there, in her heart, and that would never, ever change.

She had tried to stay out the way of people since it happened, however hard that was in the Montecito. She had tried to stay where people couldn't look at her with pity in their eyes, like they had been doing, because apparently everyone in the place knew how much she loved him, although she didn't remember broadcasting that little piece of news, and therefore knew how she must be feeling with the engagement broken off. She spent a lot of time alone in the auditorium, claiming she was giving the place a thorough check for the big concert in a couple of weeks when Duran Duran would be coming to play, but Sam had figured her out and thought it would be an excellent time to relay her own experiences about break ups and failed relationships.

After escaping Sam, Mary had tried to find solace spending time in the vast Montecito ballroom, again alone. The air conditioning had gone down so it couldn't be used for the salsa contest they were supposed to be hosting, but she'd gotten Ed to use his contacts and they'd transferred the competition to the Mandalay Bay, which Mary had been glad about because the last thing she needed was to see a hundred couples looking at each other with desire in their eyes, gyrating against one another when she had just willingly given up her only hope of being with the one person she had ever felt any kind of passion for. Everyone knew that Mary loved her job, so when she passed on dinner with the girls to keep an eye on the engineers, no one had questioned it. But then Delinda had found her sitting in a corner when she came to bring her some takeout from Mystique because she thought she might be hungry, away from prying eyes, and decided to recount the time she had spent with the guy Mary had been supposed to be getting married to. Mary had made a sharp exit from that situation, because as much as she loved Delinda, she didn't need her heart to break any more than it already was by hearing about her and Danny.

But no matter where she was, she always felt eyes on her. She had never really paid attention to it before, the hundreds of cameras situated in every conceivable nook, cranny and corner of the casino resort. She knew they were there, but she had never felt conscious because of them. Until Danny, of course.

Since he had gotten back from the Marines and their relationship moved in a more…intimate direction, he'd take her into the surveillance room when it was quiet to show her exactly what he did all day. One time, he'd sat in the chair at the desk with the console in front of him, and then he'd pulled her onto his lap and kissed her over and over again while life in the casino played out as usual on the monitors and they'd felt like they were in their own little world. He'd put her hand on the joystick, closing his fingers around hers, and showed her how they track someone's movements throughout the place, and he'd whispered in her ear that sometimes when he was alone, it was her he'd follow, that he'd watch her as long as he could without getting caught, smiling to himself when he thought about how satisfying it would be when they could be together, and he could touch her and kiss her. It was the most amazing foreplay either of them had ever experienced. That was until Mike had walked in with a knowing smile on his face, and Danny had whisked her into the holding room down the hall and they'd released all of that passion that had been building between them. She'd never look at a security camera the same way ever again.

Maybe that was why she felt like she was always being watched now. While she and Danny were a couple, it was like a thrill, for her to look up and see a lens following her wherever she went. She'd think of him sitting at that desk, following her, and she'd blush to herself as she fixed a sultry gaze that she hoped he could see, a silent promise of what she'd do to him when they were alone. She knew he wasn't always there, more often than not he was on the floor, chasing some kind of cheat or criminal or something, but it gave her a rush, and it made her count the minutes until they could be together. It comforted her as well, knowing he was there, that he'd do anything to protect her, just like he always had, that he'd take care of her.

She didn't feel that way now.

She was sitting in Bella Sera now, sitting alone at a little table for two in the middle of the bar, pencil in hand with a glass of iced mineral water that she was kinda wishing had a shot of vodka in right now. She had her entertainment requests from Sam's clients in front of her, trying to look like she was thinking of a way to get Britney Spears to perform there for one of the Montecito's biggest players without getting married, when really she was just quietly reassuring herself that she had done the right thing, even if she had been doubting her own reasons ever since she had walked away from him.

Ever since that moment, she had wished she didn't work here. She had felt like she was being watched whenever she walked down the halls, whenever she spoke to a guest or another member of staff, even if she doubted that were true. If Danny was avoiding her, it was because he felt humiliated more than anything, like his pride had been wounded, it was nothing to do with any of the feelings he said he had for her. She felt herself squirm in her seat, uncomfortable in her own skin, could feel her ears burning like she was being talked about.

It had been the hardest thing she had ever done, to give up everything that she had ever wanted. She had given him that ring back, kissed him one last time, and she had walked away. Then, she had found a quiet corner in the empty Mystique and she sobbed her heart out. It hadn't been long before Delinda found her, Nessa and Sam not far behind, but she hadn't been able to tell them. She was crying so hard she could barely breathe, let alone talk, but Nessa had taken her hand and noticed that the sparkling diamond ring that she had been in awe of before was gone. When they'd looked at her questioningly, all she could say was that she'd given it back. They hadn't left her alone for at least twenty four hours after that, but Sam had made her excuses and disappeared for an hour or so. Then, Delinda had done the same thing, and then Nessa. When Mary asked where they had been, they said it didn't matter, that there was just something they had to take care of, but Mary had suspected Danny wasn't having the best of days either when she had finally managed to tell them what happened and they had all paled and muttered something between themselves. Underneath it all, they were a family, and they looked out for one another, and however bad Mary had felt about it, she kind of liked that they were on her side.

But when they had asked her to explain why she had done it, she hadn't been able to say. Because for that moment, however strong her belief was that it wasn't her he wanted, she wanted it to be. She still wanted that. She guessed she probably always would.

It was about then that she realised she wasn't quite as alone as she thought. She could feel someone looking over her shoulder, and not just from the security cameras. This was an actual person, she knew that from the shadow being cast over the table and the paper she was pretending to pore over. She felt her breath catch in her chest, thinking that maybe, just maybe, it was him, and that he was going to tell her that she was wrong, and that he loved her and wanted her and…

She turned slowly, cautiously, seeming in slow motion as her eyes met…not Danny's. The guy was tall, with short hair and dark eyes and had a beer in one hand, and even if he wasn't what she was expecting, she wasn't complaining. The guy was good looking, there was absolutely no question of it, but she also knew that this guy wasn't the normal 'hey-can-I-buy-you-a-drink-and-show-you-the-view-from-my-hotel-room?' standards she was used to when she sat in this bar. This guy was different – probably because he was gay and the first time she had met him was when she caught him and one of the blackjack dealers making out in the empty auditorium.

"Hi," the guy said, a wide smile developing on his handsome face.

"Uh…hi," Mary said curiously, her eyes suspicious and wondering, narrowing when she tried to think of a name…a name…a name… "It's, uh… It's John, right?" she asked, silently praying she had gotten it right because sometimes she could be awful when it came to remembering names, especially when there was something else occupying her thoughts, and just like always, it was a certain someone she had known since she was two years old.

"Right," he told her, pulling out the chair next to her, much to Mary's surprise, and she hoped he didn't see the look of relief pass over her features. "But by the look on your face, I'm thinking you're kinda disappointed."

"Disappointed?" she asked, and apparently she hadn't needed to worry about the relief because the hopes that had been dashed had hidden that completely. "No, of course not, don't be silly."

A long moment passed, Mary looking at him expectantly. "Was there something you needed help with?" she asked when he was very obviously not offering any additional information.

"Not really," he said, shrugging and looking around the bar as he took a sip from the bottle of lite beer he was holding in one hand, a circle left on the table that Mary was suddenly transfixed by. "I was just sitting over at the bar until I realised something."

"Which was?" she asked, her mouth turning up in a smile.

"I hate drinking alone," he said with a cute grin that immediately brought a flash of Danny into her thoughts that she stubbornly pushed away. "I thought that maybe I could sit here with you and not look like such a has-no-friends loser."

She opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that the last thing she needed was people around her, people she had to smile at and make conversation with and pretend she didn't feel like she was dying inside.

"It won't be for long, I promise," he told her, another smile, this one dazzling, revealing bright white teeth that seemed to glow next to tanned skin. "I'm just waiting for someone. As soon as he's here, I'll leave you in peace."

"It's not…" Mary found herself looking away from him, looking down at her paperwork, looking at the ice that seemed to be melting, anything that wasn't him and his eyes that seemed to be looking at her with concern. She didn't need that, didn't need anyone's pity and concern. "I just… I don't know…" She finally let her eyes move up to his face, feeling an intense blush permeate her cheeks and she wondered if they looked as red as they felt. "I just don't think I'm very good company right now," she told him with a smile that hid so many things inside of her.

"You don't need to be," he told her, leaning forward in his seat and letting his hand brush over hers on the table. "You just have to make it look like I'm saying something terribly interesting."

"Well—" she began, using her free hand to brush away some hair that wasn't anywhere near her face but it gave her something to do.

"Come on," he coaxed, but he didn't let go of her hand.

"Okay," she conceded. "But if you get bored, don't blame me. I warned you."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," he told her.

She laughed, and he moved his hand from the table, something that made just a tiny, tiny part of her sad because she felt so alone.

"So," he said, taking another sip of his beer and setting the bottle back down on the table as she picked up the pencil, attempting to get back to work.

"'So', what?" she asked, her eyes diverting to the pages in front of her.

"Where's that boyfriend of yours?"

And Mary felt her heart stop. She felt her blood run cold, and her hands began to shake. She dropped the pencil she had tried to work with as she picked up her glass and took a sip, the beverage threatening to spill when her hand was trembling so much.

"My boyfriend?" she managed to squeak out from somewhere. "What boyfriend?"

"That guy you were with the last time I was here," John said, and a smirk broke out on his face. "I saw you guys together, making out in a yellow car in the parking lot. I actually wondered if I should break you two apart when Metro rolled by in a patrol car. I thought they might arrest you."

Yellow car… Parking lot…

"Oh," Mary said, clearing her throat and feeling a cold sweat breaking out all over her body. "I, uh… I think you mean Danny."

"Right," John said. "Nick's mentioned him. Security and surveillance, right?"

Mary nodded, barely managing to make her body move on its own. "Yeah," she said. "And we broke up."

The other guy's eyes widened as he looked at her. "Oh, god, I'm sorry!" he told her in apology. "I always do that. I'm a master at putting my own foot in my mouth."

"Well, I guess it beats putting someone else's foot in there," she said with a smile that was way too forced. "It's fine," she told him, trying to shrug it off.

"But you guys seemed so…" he shook his head to himself. "I remember telling Nick, and he said that you guys were perfect for each other. That you were getting married."

"Yeah, it didn't work out," Mary told him, her head down again when she felt tears prickling at the back of her eyes.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" he asked.

"No," she said, a brief glimpse at him and he was genuinely interested. "We've been friends a long time, and we thought that there was something more there. It turns out – not so much."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Because from where I was standing, you were pretty into each other, that was obvious."

"We tried, it didn't work," she said. "Not really much else to say."

"Except that you're in love with him," John said, and when Mary looked at him his eyes were set, comforting and warm, just what she needed and exactly what she didn't need right now. She tried opening her mouth to object, laugh off his suggestion, but she couldn't quite find the energy to.

"Yeah, well, I've lived with it for the past twenty years," she said, bitterness creeping into her voice from somewhere deep inside. "I guess I'll have to live with it a little longer."

"Why did he break it off?" John asked.

"He didn't," Mary said bluntly. "I did."

"Why?"

"'Cause," Mary said with a shrug.

"'Cause'?" he asked. "That's a reason?"

"Okay," she allowed. "Because."

"Yeah, much better," he said dryly. "Okay, I get it, you've loved this guy pretty much forever, you're supposed to be getting married to him and you break it off… Wait a minute… Actually, no, I don't get it."

"You don't need to," she said. "Things with me and Danny have always been…complicated. But being in love with someone doesn't automatically mean they love you back."

"How do you know he didn't?"

"Because I know him," she said. "And don't get me wrong, I want him in my life, as my friend if nothing else, but I just can't pretend that everything's okay and go along with the whole marriage façade when I'm wondering if a couple months down the line, is he going to change his mind?"

"Did you ever ask him?"

"No," she said. "I don't need to. I told him that it wasn't right between us. I handed him the engagement ring…" She felt her eyes cloud with tears, and she could feel it transferring to her voice, making it break slightly but she fought it. "I gave him back the engagement ring, and he did nothing. He just stood there."

"Did you give him a chance?"

"There's too much history between us," she said. "Too much for it to be anything more than what we are. Danny has a history of doing the easy thing. I've known him since we were two years old. Instead of dealing with something, he ignores it. There has been…something…between us for years, and he never did anything about it. He ignored it because he was scared."

"You don't think that's a valid reason?"

"It is," Mary admitted. "Danny has had to deal with a lot over the years, and I know that because I went through it with him. He's my best friend in the world, he always has been, but I'd rather have that than nothing at all."

"Why does it have to be a choice?"

"Because…" she said slowly, "If we had stayed together…what's going to happen when he wakes up one day and realises what a big mistake he's making? He'll run away, that's what."

"Why do you think he's going to run?"

"Because that's what he does, okay?" she said. "He's done it before. He's done it to me."

"Did he tell you he loved you?"

"Yes," Mary told him, and she found herself focussing on her fidgeting hands on the table.

"Did you believe him?"

"No."

"Has he ever lied to you before?"

Mary looked thoughtful, casting her mind back…and back…and back…so many years had passed by. "Hurt me? Yes, more times than I can count. Lied to me? I don't think so."

"Then why do you believe he didn't want to be with you?"

"I know he loves me," Mary said. "We've known each other forever, so I don't doubt that he loves me. But he loves best friend me, and he loves loyal me, and saving his ass me. I just don't think he's in love with me. He wants to be. I just don't think it could ever be real between us, and we both deserve better than to be a second choice."

"That's just it," John told her, "I don't think he could ever be your second choice. I'm gonna ask you again… Do you love him?"

She took a deep breath, her arms crossing in front of her on the table. "More than anything…" she whispered.

"Then you can't let this go," he told her. "Because if you do, you're going to regret it."

"But what am I supposed to do?" she asked passionately. "What do I do, walk up to him and…"

The sentence trailed off as she caught a glimpse of something out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't quite sure if it was actually real because she swore she saw this ten times a day.

There was someone standing just a few feet away, standing just in the perimeter of the bar. She wouldn't allow herself to look fully, not just yet, because she was getting too used to the disappointment every time she allowed hope to flare within her only to find it wasn't him.

But this time… This time she could almost smell his cologne, not because he wore a lot of it or because it was so pungent, but just because she knew how he smelt from all of the years he'd spent wearing the same cologne she'd bought him for his eighteenth birthday, afraid to try new ones because there was only one he thought he'd ever like, and only ever liking that one because she had bought it. She knew it from when they had been together, from when she had kissed his neck, nuzzled her chin in the crook between there and his shoulder, and from when she could still smell it on some of her clothes and on the bed sheets hours after he'd left. She could sense how close he was by the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, felt a prickle of something travelling over her skin as her eyes travelled to where he was, and she felt her heart stop as their eyes met.

She could feel herself shaking, could feel her heart nearly stop as she pulled herself up to stand, one hand on the back of the chair the whole time because she wasn't quite sure she'd be able to manage this without the support.

She swore she stopped breathing as she watched him move, long strides that in reality only took him seconds to cross the room, but in her mind it felt like hours, and she suspected she might die if she didn't breathe soon, but that wasn't likely. She forgot about the guy she had been talking to just a second or two ago, just like she forgot about everything else in the world, knowing only that Danny was heading for her and she had absolutely no idea why.

And suddenly he was there, in front of her, his strong features and his bright eyes and his adorable smile, and she felt a tear slide down her cheek, not knowing if it was the first, only that it definitely wasn't the last.

His hand came up to brush a lock of hair from her face, pushing it behind her ear gently and letting his hand linger there, just for the hell of it. His fingers moved to her cheek, stroking and soft against her skin, and she wanted to say something, she really, really did, but suddenly she couldn't talk, just like when she was fourteen and got laryngitis and Danny had stayed home from school for a week to take care of her, getting grounded for a month after when his dad found out. His free hand came to her other cheek, his eyes on hers the entire time.

"You're wrong," he said simply.

And then he leant down, his lips meeting hers to kiss her in the sweetest way.

There should have been a million reasons why this was a bad idea, why she should have been stopping him, but for this moment, she really didn't care.