Chapter 3: Strike One; James' First Mistake
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Honest! J.K. is my hero! (Seriously)
Summary: I figured it out... in sixth year... He Loved Me.
"Okay, we are back to the regular houses tonight. To make it easier on everyone. Slytherins please do dungeons, grounds, and everything up to the second floor. Ravenclaws, third to fourth floor and the west tower, if you please. Hufflepuffs, fifth to sixth and the Astronomy tower. Gryffindors seventh floor and the remaining two towers. Remember to watch around the kitchens, library, and the Great Hall. James and I will go everywhere. It will be his way for two weeks, until our next meeting. Please remember your posts."
The members of the meeting filed out, and James stood up from his lounging position.
"I wished you'd let me help."
"Oh, you'll help," I grinned at him. "You're writing the report, tonight."
James groaned. This was the second meeting of the year, besides the train ride. So far the year, excluding homework, has been... well... easy wouldn't work... enjoyable... maybe? James and I, (yes I call him James now) have become, ever so distant... dare I say it... friends.
We've become more civil. Or, at least I have. He's shown to be a pretty good Head Boy. It's not like he blows off his duties for Quidditch; I'll admit I thought he would. We take turns doing the reports, but he insists most of the time. There was one incident. Our first Prefect meeting at school. He about lost it then.
~*~*~Flash Back~*~*~
"Please, please, sit down," I said trying to get the meeting started.
"Okay, James and I would first like to congrat--"
"Mudblood!" a Slytherin girl in the back pretended to sneeze while saying Mudblood.
"Mudblood!" another said while fake coughing.
As I continued on talking it happened again. Finally, I felt James move to my right.
"Bloody HELL! Shut your mouths you bloody gits!" I saw him take out his wand, and the Slytherins followed his lead.
"James!" I pulled him away from the group, where Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs were yelling at Slytherins. Ravenclaws, who were noted as the smart ones, blocked them from fighting.
"Lily, stop! They deserve what they get." He tried to get out of my grasp.
"Calm down, James! Professor Dumbledore will know about this by lunch tomorrow. You cannot retaliate. It's just a name."
"No! It's not just a name. They can't say it in front of me. And they sure- as-hell can't call you that. Period."
His force became stronger around my arms. I pushed him back into the wall, silently, and took his hand in mine.
"James," he looked down at our hands. "You were doing fine before, okay? Don't screw it up. We were jut fine... being friends. Don't throw it away like that."
I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked down at me, his face softening.
"You don't deserve to be called that," he whispered.
"Life's not fair, James. Don't complain. Come on, we need to stop this."
I led him over to the group, where, after twenty minutes of hopeless talking, we called the meeting.
~*~*~End~*~*~
After that, I sometimes wonder if it was false hope. Taking his hand, holding it, and squeezing it trying to calm him down. It's probably not a big deal, I reason as we walk down the halls passing Prefects, ghosts, and teachers.
"What are you thinking about?" James asks me.
"Last Prefects meeting. What you did."
"So you're thinking about me?" he grinned.
I have reason to believe James only hears the parts of the sentences he wants to hear. And the rest, he either pretends I didn't say it, or that he makes it into a compliment. Whatever he does, I'm getting used to it. That's what hours of talking to him will do. I feel for his friends.
"You're such a prat," I pushed him playfully.
"Wow, aren't we pushy?" he winks at me, I glare in return.
"And here, I thought you wanted to be on my good side. Don't even make that into a perverted comment about shagging." I knew him too well. Too well for my liking.
James was silent for a while. We walked past the Ravenclaw Prefects, on the third floor. For a while my mind wonders. Falling on the ebony haired boy to my left, every once in a while. He wasn't what I thought he'd be. James had only hit on me once. And besides the perverted comments, he doesn't talk about things that are never going to happen. IE: Us dating. Sure, he's not what I expected, but he's not that good. I smiled as I remembered the last time he hit on me. It was fun to irk him like that.
~*~*~Flash Back~*~*~
I was having an altogether weird day. I spent most of it with James. And not just for Head's duties. We were sitting in Charms; James was just plain awful, and I was assisting him.
"Hey James," came the voice of a seventh year Hufflepuff. I'll never admit it, but I... I felt something when he talked to her. It wasn't boredom... or curiosity to eavesdrop... but it can't be jealousy.
"So," she said twirling her hair. If only I could cut it... "I was wondering if you could help me with... umm... Trans. Transfigurations tonight. I'm not really understanding... uhh... whatever we are doing!"
"Oh, sorry. I can't. I'm supposed to work on some Head's work with Lily."
"Lily?"
"Lily Evans. The Head Girl." He pointed towards me and I smiled.
"Lily? You mean this Lily? We go way back, don't we girl?"
"Uh, sure. What's your name again?" I asked, earning a glare, and causing her to go flirt with another seventh year; except this one was a Hufflepuff.
"Head's work?" I asked as James returned to his Charm.
"Yeah," he winked at me. "You know? A little bit of snogging--"
"Sorry," I looked at him, trying to look like I'm smiling. But it was killing me. "Not tonight," I winked at him.
"What?"
"If you wanted head... I mean... Head's work complete... there's a room full of Hufflepuffs here."
"But you're closer," he rapped his arms around my waist.
"I am, aren't I?" I moved closer to him, resting my hand on his chest. He leaned down to kiss me, when I moved away and he fell right over. The class started laughing uncontrollably much to poor Professor Flitwick's dismay. I smiled as I sat down. Completing my Charm and starting on my homework.
~*~*~End~*~*~
Though I smile, there's a lot wrong in this picture; this story. First off, I was flirting with James. How am I supposed to scorn him for flirting, if I flirt back? And why was I flirting back? Well... it's not like... I mean... it's a different kind... Hell. It was all ruined now. I flirted with him, I led him on. Drat.
Now, another thing: Jealousy. I wasn't jealous. That's ridiculous. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He should have said yes to her offer. I should want him to leave me alone. Right? Right. I wasn't jealous. I wasn't jealous! Why should I be jealous anyway? There's nothing great about him! Sure, his messy black hair is soft, and touchable. And sure, he has these entrancing hazel eyes, hidden behind the frames of his glasses; the frames that slide down his nose making him look adorable. And sure... he was tall and strong from Quidditch. Regular tall, dark and handsome. Too clinché. Now I just have to wait for him to come on a white horse and I can vomit. It was too--
"Lily?" James said catching my attention, as we headed back upstairs to the seventh floor.
"What's up?"
"Why do you hate me?"
I was a little--okay--really taken aback with this question. It's hard to hate--I mean... I don't hate... I just don't...
"I don't hate you."
"Yes you do," he said looking at the floor, as though now very, very interested in his feet.
"I just... don't like you as much as you like me."
"Why not?" he stopped walking.
"James..."
"I really like you, Lily. And it's not what you think. I don't... it's got nothing to do with snogging and shagging--"
"I know, James. But we're too different. You're too you, and I'm... too me."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Yes, it does, James. We can't stand the sight of each other."
"How can you say that? I love you Lily." He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pushed me lightly towards the wall. Our eyes locked as I hit the solid wall. He apologized without words. God, I wish I could just run away. I've tried so hard to be nice... now it doesn't take any effort. But I don't want his love.
"James--" But he cut me off... with a kiss.
As fast as I could (and with him holding me closer) I pushed him away. He panted for breath.
"I'm so sorry, Lily." As he searched for things to say I moved away from him. I was so scared that he betrayed my like that. But I was more scared that I actually kissed back... only for a moment. "I love you so much."
"How could you? I thought our friendship meant something to you!"
"It does—-"
"Look James, I don't love you!" I saw the pain in his eyes, but I continued. "I don't want to think about you that way! I don't want to think about holding your hand... or kissing you... or anything non-platonic!"
He looked at me like he was thinking very hard.
"Then why did you kiss back?"
~*~*~
AN: Sorry for the long wait. Please review! And thanks to anyone who did! Love you all! And I hope this chapter's okay!
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus
Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Honest! J.K. is my hero! (Seriously)
Summary: I figured it out... in sixth year... He Loved Me.
"Okay, we are back to the regular houses tonight. To make it easier on everyone. Slytherins please do dungeons, grounds, and everything up to the second floor. Ravenclaws, third to fourth floor and the west tower, if you please. Hufflepuffs, fifth to sixth and the Astronomy tower. Gryffindors seventh floor and the remaining two towers. Remember to watch around the kitchens, library, and the Great Hall. James and I will go everywhere. It will be his way for two weeks, until our next meeting. Please remember your posts."
The members of the meeting filed out, and James stood up from his lounging position.
"I wished you'd let me help."
"Oh, you'll help," I grinned at him. "You're writing the report, tonight."
James groaned. This was the second meeting of the year, besides the train ride. So far the year, excluding homework, has been... well... easy wouldn't work... enjoyable... maybe? James and I, (yes I call him James now) have become, ever so distant... dare I say it... friends.
We've become more civil. Or, at least I have. He's shown to be a pretty good Head Boy. It's not like he blows off his duties for Quidditch; I'll admit I thought he would. We take turns doing the reports, but he insists most of the time. There was one incident. Our first Prefect meeting at school. He about lost it then.
~*~*~Flash Back~*~*~
"Please, please, sit down," I said trying to get the meeting started.
"Okay, James and I would first like to congrat--"
"Mudblood!" a Slytherin girl in the back pretended to sneeze while saying Mudblood.
"Mudblood!" another said while fake coughing.
As I continued on talking it happened again. Finally, I felt James move to my right.
"Bloody HELL! Shut your mouths you bloody gits!" I saw him take out his wand, and the Slytherins followed his lead.
"James!" I pulled him away from the group, where Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs were yelling at Slytherins. Ravenclaws, who were noted as the smart ones, blocked them from fighting.
"Lily, stop! They deserve what they get." He tried to get out of my grasp.
"Calm down, James! Professor Dumbledore will know about this by lunch tomorrow. You cannot retaliate. It's just a name."
"No! It's not just a name. They can't say it in front of me. And they sure- as-hell can't call you that. Period."
His force became stronger around my arms. I pushed him back into the wall, silently, and took his hand in mine.
"James," he looked down at our hands. "You were doing fine before, okay? Don't screw it up. We were jut fine... being friends. Don't throw it away like that."
I squeezed his hand reassuringly. He looked down at me, his face softening.
"You don't deserve to be called that," he whispered.
"Life's not fair, James. Don't complain. Come on, we need to stop this."
I led him over to the group, where, after twenty minutes of hopeless talking, we called the meeting.
~*~*~End~*~*~
After that, I sometimes wonder if it was false hope. Taking his hand, holding it, and squeezing it trying to calm him down. It's probably not a big deal, I reason as we walk down the halls passing Prefects, ghosts, and teachers.
"What are you thinking about?" James asks me.
"Last Prefects meeting. What you did."
"So you're thinking about me?" he grinned.
I have reason to believe James only hears the parts of the sentences he wants to hear. And the rest, he either pretends I didn't say it, or that he makes it into a compliment. Whatever he does, I'm getting used to it. That's what hours of talking to him will do. I feel for his friends.
"You're such a prat," I pushed him playfully.
"Wow, aren't we pushy?" he winks at me, I glare in return.
"And here, I thought you wanted to be on my good side. Don't even make that into a perverted comment about shagging." I knew him too well. Too well for my liking.
James was silent for a while. We walked past the Ravenclaw Prefects, on the third floor. For a while my mind wonders. Falling on the ebony haired boy to my left, every once in a while. He wasn't what I thought he'd be. James had only hit on me once. And besides the perverted comments, he doesn't talk about things that are never going to happen. IE: Us dating. Sure, he's not what I expected, but he's not that good. I smiled as I remembered the last time he hit on me. It was fun to irk him like that.
~*~*~Flash Back~*~*~
I was having an altogether weird day. I spent most of it with James. And not just for Head's duties. We were sitting in Charms; James was just plain awful, and I was assisting him.
"Hey James," came the voice of a seventh year Hufflepuff. I'll never admit it, but I... I felt something when he talked to her. It wasn't boredom... or curiosity to eavesdrop... but it can't be jealousy.
"So," she said twirling her hair. If only I could cut it... "I was wondering if you could help me with... umm... Trans. Transfigurations tonight. I'm not really understanding... uhh... whatever we are doing!"
"Oh, sorry. I can't. I'm supposed to work on some Head's work with Lily."
"Lily?"
"Lily Evans. The Head Girl." He pointed towards me and I smiled.
"Lily? You mean this Lily? We go way back, don't we girl?"
"Uh, sure. What's your name again?" I asked, earning a glare, and causing her to go flirt with another seventh year; except this one was a Hufflepuff.
"Head's work?" I asked as James returned to his Charm.
"Yeah," he winked at me. "You know? A little bit of snogging--"
"Sorry," I looked at him, trying to look like I'm smiling. But it was killing me. "Not tonight," I winked at him.
"What?"
"If you wanted head... I mean... Head's work complete... there's a room full of Hufflepuffs here."
"But you're closer," he rapped his arms around my waist.
"I am, aren't I?" I moved closer to him, resting my hand on his chest. He leaned down to kiss me, when I moved away and he fell right over. The class started laughing uncontrollably much to poor Professor Flitwick's dismay. I smiled as I sat down. Completing my Charm and starting on my homework.
~*~*~End~*~*~
Though I smile, there's a lot wrong in this picture; this story. First off, I was flirting with James. How am I supposed to scorn him for flirting, if I flirt back? And why was I flirting back? Well... it's not like... I mean... it's a different kind... Hell. It was all ruined now. I flirted with him, I led him on. Drat.
Now, another thing: Jealousy. I wasn't jealous. That's ridiculous. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He should have said yes to her offer. I should want him to leave me alone. Right? Right. I wasn't jealous. I wasn't jealous! Why should I be jealous anyway? There's nothing great about him! Sure, his messy black hair is soft, and touchable. And sure, he has these entrancing hazel eyes, hidden behind the frames of his glasses; the frames that slide down his nose making him look adorable. And sure... he was tall and strong from Quidditch. Regular tall, dark and handsome. Too clinché. Now I just have to wait for him to come on a white horse and I can vomit. It was too--
"Lily?" James said catching my attention, as we headed back upstairs to the seventh floor.
"What's up?"
"Why do you hate me?"
I was a little--okay--really taken aback with this question. It's hard to hate--I mean... I don't hate... I just don't...
"I don't hate you."
"Yes you do," he said looking at the floor, as though now very, very interested in his feet.
"I just... don't like you as much as you like me."
"Why not?" he stopped walking.
"James..."
"I really like you, Lily. And it's not what you think. I don't... it's got nothing to do with snogging and shagging--"
"I know, James. But we're too different. You're too you, and I'm... too me."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Yes, it does, James. We can't stand the sight of each other."
"How can you say that? I love you Lily." He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pushed me lightly towards the wall. Our eyes locked as I hit the solid wall. He apologized without words. God, I wish I could just run away. I've tried so hard to be nice... now it doesn't take any effort. But I don't want his love.
"James--" But he cut me off... with a kiss.
As fast as I could (and with him holding me closer) I pushed him away. He panted for breath.
"I'm so sorry, Lily." As he searched for things to say I moved away from him. I was so scared that he betrayed my like that. But I was more scared that I actually kissed back... only for a moment. "I love you so much."
"How could you? I thought our friendship meant something to you!"
"It does—-"
"Look James, I don't love you!" I saw the pain in his eyes, but I continued. "I don't want to think about you that way! I don't want to think about holding your hand... or kissing you... or anything non-platonic!"
He looked at me like he was thinking very hard.
"Then why did you kiss back?"
~*~*~
AN: Sorry for the long wait. Please review! And thanks to anyone who did! Love you all! And I hope this chapter's okay!
MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus
