To Have Seen an Angel – That Which Forms Myself
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Author's Notes:
Writing is like winds and time – you can't seem to control them or get enough of it. I'd like to be able to control where inspiration strikes me, but I can't. I have to settle for what I can take. For now, the Asuka in my head is yelling at me to work on her fic. She doesn't want to be blue-haired for much longer.
So without further adieu, here is the next installment of To Have Seen an Angel.
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Chapter One – That Which Forms Myself.
All living beings have had a single source in the universe. Nobody knew if that source was divine – some God that happened to will creation – or simply a natural process that somehow sparked life. Whatever the source, though, the bounty of life that sprung to existence on this miniscule blue speck of a world had its source in the stars.
From these cosmic furnaces all the things that make life possible are generated. When they die, their deaths often spawn the soup of life that forms new worlds and stars. Humans are no different from viruses or bacteria when it comes to the source material we were created from. Carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, sodium, chlorine: a multitude of chemicals that combined just right to form our bodies.
Change a few molecules around in specific locations, and you can change an entire person. Alter a bit here; you make their eyes brown instead of blue. Alter a bit there, their hair will turn grey or white long before they reach old age.
'But what combinations of changes were required to change hair from fire red to ice blue?' Thought a certain young pilot who was currently brushing out her long hair, 'and what's required to change ice blue eyes to deep crimson?'
It hadn't taken the second child long to realize that this appearance wasn't wanted. She knew it the moment she saw her own reflection in the Evangelion Entry Plug. She adored her fiery mane of long, soft hair. And she was enamored with her own deep blue eyes. Not to mention the soft coloration of her cheeks – and evidence of a light tan – all told of a girl who knew how to keep herself healthy and pretty. She exuded confidence, and that was never more present than when she was in the public eye.
'Now who would want me?' She thought angrily. She mentally cursed Shinji's father for having summoned him away from her. The only person who she even remotely wanted near her – summoned away like a certain doll she now resembled.
So she prepared herself for the activity that would occur when Shinji returned. 'The blue hair must go.' She thought viciously, looking at the bottle of hair dye. It had taken her almost an hour to find just the right color – a color that almost exactly matched her previous shade of red. She had waded through several hundred samples made available to her by Misato – the woman had went out and taken each sample from a local store and brought it back to the geofront for her to inspect.
"I wonder what that Baka is up to…" Asuka sighed aloud. With that Asuka turned back to preparing her hair for the arduous task of dying it.
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"Shinji." The commander's voice echoed into the room.
Whatever confidence that Ikari Shinji had in the Evangelion had almost totally evaporated. Somehow, only in the Eva was he able to face his father with something akin to courage in his eyes. While the boy still stood tall and straight in his father's presence, he was still afraid of the man.
Across the room, Ikari Gendo stared at his son from behind his tinted glasses. While the boy's eyes were clearly visible to him, the glasses prevented his son from seeing his. That was fine by the Commander. Although the boy had shaken him with the revelation that he could communicate with his mother's essence, he still had a war to conduct. Besides – he was just as afraid of the boy as the boy was afraid of him. With that bit of self-revelation, Gendo adjusted his glasses.
"Why have you called me here, Commander?" Although the level of ice in the word was far less than when he was in the Eva, the words still brought a deep chill to the air.
The force of the statement touched a chord deep within Gendo, 'He may still be afraid of me, but that's my boy!' "I…" Gendo paused to swallow. "I wanted to… make amends."
Shinji silently stared at him. The gaze seemed to bore straight through the glasses the elder Ikari wore.
"There are some things you… need to know." Gendo forced the words out, while enduring the gaze his son was giving him.
"Where's Rei?" Shinji asked sharply.
'Direct and to the point – and uncannily accurate – could his offspring be any less?' The commander mentally sighed as Shinji struck dead center of one of those 'Things' that needed knowing about. That didn't mean that he wanted to reveal that secret just yet. 'Best wait for Rei…' Gendo lowered his hands that had been steepled in front of his face. "Making a decision."
"Doctor Akagi said that you had summoned both of us." Shinji countered.
"That is correct. I had already spoken to her at the entry plug while you were with the Second."
"Her name's Asuka." Shinji corrected softly.
"Yes… Indeed it is." Gendo replied, coldly. No matter what his own resolution was on this particular subject of his son, he hated being corrected.
A few moments passed in silence before they both spoke simultaneously.
The words echoed through the air, shocking both speakers – "I don't know how to do this."
Both Ikaris stared at each other for several more long moments, before an alien sound filled the room. It took only a moment for Shinji to identify the sound – a laugh. Shinji stared at his father for an instant, before seeing a genuine smile on the man's face.
For most people, seeing Commander Ikari smile was a frightening experience. He only smiled when a great revelation was presented before him. His laugh – a laugh that could make a demon's toenails curl up and the paint peel off the walls – inspired fear in all who heard it. This laugh was the evil laugh of a man who held too many cards and too much power. But it didn't really faze Shinji – except for the realization that his own laugh and smile were virtually identical.
"I should have known." Gendo said softly, the chuckle dying away.
Shinji shook his head, "What?"
"We're too much alike." Shinji's father proclaimed. "I didn't want to see it – to see you – grow up into me. And here you are…"
"Yes." Shinji replied softly. "I am what you made me, aren't I?"
"If it's any consolation, Shinji, I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want any of this to happen."
"Father?" Shinji ventured hopefully, but was interrupted by the opening of the door.
The shadow that was cast in the light was the silhouette of a young woman. Shinji didn't even have to turn to see the girl's face to know who it was. The shadow from the girl's head was the dead giveaway.
Shinji's father addressed the newcomer. "You have made your decision Rei?"
The shadow nodded. Shinji didn't want to turn around and face the girl, for he knew that he wouldn't like to see what he was going to see.
"I see." Gendo replied.
The figure stepped into the room, and made her way to stand next to Shinji.
The boy felt a soft touch on his hand for a brief instant as Ayanami moved to stand close next to him. Unlike previous feelings when in the presence of the First Child, Shinji was suddenly filled with an unbearable coldness. It was as if that brief touch had taken from him his warmth. Electric currents of ice made its way up to his shoulder and into his spine. The Third child knew exactly what emotions were filling the First – Emptiness, coldness, sadness. He stole a glance at Ayanami Rei at that moment – and wished he'd never looked.
Tears streaked the face of the angelic Ayanami. Her eyelids were puffy, and her face was red with the release of so many tears. "Are not a million tears enough?" She asked the Commander ever so softly.
The commander looked into her eyes, then suddenly looked away as if scalded by the gaze. "It is what must be."
The girl shuddered as she took a deep breath, as Shinji tried to keep himself from holding the distraught young woman. The feeling of ice proceeded down his spine and into his stomach.
"Must they all die?" The girl asked, looking at the Commander.
"All will fall – so it is written. Only you are exempt from prophesy - of course, not in your current form, Rei."
"All things are gifted with a life. Some are fortunate to be gifted with a death as well."
Shinji forced himself not to look at her – he despised when she talked of death, and this moment was of no exception to that rule.
"That is your decision as well, Rei." Gendo replied, and watched as his son narrowed his eyes at him briefly.
Rei nodded once, and then tilted her head slightly – as though hearing some alien choir. Finally another question ensued from the pale, blue-haired girl's lips: "Will you complete it?" Shinji felt chills run back up his spine as Rei's voice trembled softly.
"I…" There was a long pause before the Commander continued. He had to make a decision as well. "No."
"Complete what?" Shinji asked. It was as though he were missing some critical piece of information that would allow him to decipher the code that the First Child and the Commander were speaking in.
Rei blinked once, "Then it is settled." She completely ignored the younger Ikari's question. 'If he does not know, then it is best that I not be the one to reveal it – since it is no longer a possibility.'
"Rei, what does the Commander want to complete?" He asked her more directly. Rei seemed to fidget under his stare.
Gendo frowned at Shinji's question. "It is not important anymore. Have you considered the proposal – First?"
Shinji's eyes narrowed at the callousness with which his father spat the term "First" at Rei "A-Ayanami has done nothing wrong father! Why do you treat her so?" Shinji's voice shook with barely controlled anger.
"I have offered the First a choice, Shinji. She may accept or decline." Gendo's voice remained absolutely level – no hint of his feelings one way or another.
"I…" Rei suddenly looked at Shinji, and found him staring back. Their eyes locked for a few seconds, "I… would wish it…" Rei's voice was hesitant and uncertain as she spoke the words.
Gendo remained silent. It was not the absolute answer that he was looking for.
Shinji looked deeply into those eyes – eyes as red as blood – as endless as the depths of the oceans. At the edges of those eyes sparkled with the beginnings of new tears – tears that Shinji wish he could make disappear, but knew he could not.
Rei looked into Shinji's eyes deeply. Shinji knew that the girl was looking into his soul, trying to find the certainty – or perhaps the strength - with which to make her decision. "I…" Rei began. "I have made my decision… Father."
Any words past that were of no meaning to Ikari Shinji – for after hearing the last word in that first sentence, his eyes widened and face became ghost pale. Moments later, his pupils' dilated and Shinji's unconscious form was making its way to the cold floor of his father's office.
Rei reached out just in time to catch the falling Third Child. Her eyes looked softly upon his prone and unconscious form, and then they swiveled up to meet the eyes of the Commander. Rei blinked as she saw a soft smile on his face, and heard a light chuckle.
"I must admit, he took that relatively well. I wish I had the good sense to do the same…" Gendo mused. The commander of NERV was, for some reason, excited that his son had reacted in such a way.
Rei felt a blush creep up her cheeks as she held Shinji – she had never seen the commander act in this manner before. No matter how strange the behavior from her commander, it was unimportant. What was important was the fact that Shinji was passed out in her arms. She inquired softly, "Was it something I said?"
-
Sohryu Asuka Langley stormed down the corridors of NERV. It had been two hours since Shinji was summoned before his father. She had enough of this. If no one else was willing to stand up to that particular bastard, she would.
Had Asuka been paying attention, she would have noticed tendrils of energy hovering around her form, a barrier formed by her determination of will.
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Ayanami slowly stroked Shinji's cheek, and spared a plaintive glance at her Commander. 'No, he is my father now. He offered me the choice – continue to be the First Child, or become a member of his family. I know the definition of the word, but am not familiar with the experience. I have experienced being the First – perhaps now is the time to experienced being… a daughter, or a sister.' She thought about the second child for a moment, 'or perhaps a mother?' That decision was the one she had struggled with from the moment the Commander had offered it to her. It wasn't until she looked into Shinji's eyes that she realized that the only way she could be part of his life was as his sister. For his heart had already belonged to Asuka. But Shinji was still passed out – "Why is he still unconscious?" Rei asked aloud.
Shinji's father looked down upon the pair. "He is simply asleep now. He has had a stressful day."
"But how can he be asleep, he has not moved, and the floor must be uncomfortable." Rei argued.
"Perhaps he feels comfortable in your company, Rei." Gendo mused, "After all, he is not lying directly on the floor."
This elicited another small blush from the pale blue-haired girl, as she gently cradled his head against her shoulder, stroking his hair every so often. 'Why does this simple act give me pleasure?'
Sensing the First Child's thoughts, the commander chuckled. "You care for him. It reminds me… of Yui."
"Your former wife, Shinji's mother…" Rei confirmed, adjusting her hold slightly on the boy. Suddenly the thought came to her, "I am not Yui, commander."
"I know." Commander Ikari sighed sadly. "I never said that you were."
Suddenly Rei's crimson eyes darted to the door, "She approaches." The statement was made calmly, but with a sense of urgency – almost a warning.
Commander Ikari fixed himself into his usual position – he knew that it was only a matter of time before the Second would get frustrated at the Third's tardiness. Below his elbows, on his desk, was Doctor Akagi's report. Sohryu Asuka Langley – Designated Second Child, Pilot of Eva Unit 02, was classified as an Angel – blood pattern blue.
As the doors to Commander Ikari's office blew in, the Sepherothic Tree engraved in the ceiling changed from a deep, bright crimson to a pale blue color – a tell tale sign of the presence of one of the seventeen angels.
Sohryu stood at the entrance, livid. "What did you do to Shinji – You bastard!" She yelled at the man sitting at the desk.
Commander Ikari was a wise person. Right now, a team of elite special ops personal were making their way to his office. Although the Magi had been programmed not to sound the Angel alarms if Asuka's pattern was picked up, Ritsuko and the special security forces would be immediately notified should her blue light pattern appear. As the Second Child entered the office, the tell-tale distortion of a projected AT Field filled the air immediately before her. Despite Asuka's obvious power, she would be little match for Rei's.
Rei shifted Shinji's weight slightly. "Asuka… Calm down." Rei said.
"You – you blue-haired bitch!" Asuka yelled.
As the former red-haired demon screamed this last part, Shinji shifted slightly, "Asuka…tired. Stop… yelling. Too…early for breakfast."
Both females blinked at each other for a second.
Gendo sensed a change in Asuka's mood, and pressed a button canceling the summons of the special ops team.
"Why are you holding Shinji like that?" Asuka asked, suddenly very calm.
"He passed out."
Asuka looked up at the commander, "Why?"
"He was tired." The First answered for the Commander.
"You didn't… do anything to him?"
"Of course not." Rei responded.
Asuka made her way over to Shinji and Rei, her fury gone as she watched his peacefully sleeping form. She brought a hand up to stroke his face, and noticed that it was considerably paler than before.
"You summoned the power of the Light of the Soul, Asuka." Rei said calmly. "Projecting an AT Field has a price."
"What?" Asuka asked, starting to feel slightly ill. "I don't feel so good."
Rei sighed as Shinji shifted in her arms, "The Light of the Soul defines your form, Sohryu-san. Humans cannot normally project their fields. You are no longer fully human, therefore you have the angelic power to project your soul's light. But there's a price – your form will begin to degrade the more you manipulate your light. Until you are trained, and your body is used to the energies it now harbors, it is very dangerous for you to wield those powers known as the AT Field."
"I…I'm an…"
"Angel." The commander said, perturbed at the outburst. He threw Doctor Akagi's analysis to the second's feet. "In part."
Rei continued to look at her. "Shinji cares for you, Asuka-san. Do not injure him by injuring yourself. "
"I…" She looked as Shinji's eyes fluttered opened for a moment before closing again. She could almost feel his mind struggling to awareness – but something was suppressing it. She looked at Rei, and noticed a soft glow around her. It was warm and inviting. She wanted to touch that glow, but a sudden sharp glance from those red eyes stopped her motions.
"I do not wish him to learn of this yet," Rei's voice whispered out.
"I… I don't want him to either."
"Then this situation is settled." Rei declared, releasing the pressure on Shinji's mind to remain asleep. Almost immediately, Shinji woke up. "Rei… Father? Why did you call the Commander 'Father'?"
Rei blushed; Shinji didn't know Asuka was here. "B..Because Shinji… I guess… I am your sister."
Shinji's eyes widened as he remembered an experience he had in Eva. 'If it is a boy – Shinji. A girl – Rei,' a male voice, his father's? 'Rei… Shinji… Good names," female voice - His mother's. Shinji looked at Rei, and saw it for the first time, although he knew subconsciously for much longer. 'Mother. Rei…' "Sister?"
Rei nodded slowly.
It was at this point that Asuka decided to make her presence known. "Wondergirl's your sister?"
Shinji ignored this for the moment, as wheels turned in his mind. In a way, now everything made sense. Shinji stood, and went over to his father's desk.
Gendo stood as well, moving in front of the desk, "Shinji…" Gendo started.
Suddenly the boy looked up, and stared into his father's eyes through the glasses. "Target Center… Pull the Switch…" Shinji mumbled so softly that his father could not hear.
"Shinji… I'm…" His father didn't get a chance to say more, as Shinji's fist flew out and met his father's jaw at a right angle. Gendo toppled like a domino, falling to the floor with a thud.
Shinji rubbed his fist slightly. "T…That's for Rei." He whispered softly, starting to feel guilty for hitting his father, but not regretting it in the slightest. He turned and looked at the two blue haired girls. "I believe we have something to do Asuka?"
Asuka could only smirk. "I take back all those things about you being a wimp."
Shinji blushed slightly. "So, I'm no longer 'Baka' Shinji?"
"I said you're no longer a wimp. All men are idiots, Baka Shinji."
"You hit… him." Rei said slowly, looking at the prone form of her Commander cum Father.
"And he deserved it, for what he did to you, sis."
"He created me…" Rei whispered.
Shinji walked over to Rei and took her by the shoulders – "He used you."
"But…"
Shinji hugged the girl, "Don't worry about it. He'll be ok. But I don't want to be around when he wakes up."
He felt Rei nod slightly. Shinji redirected his gaze back at Asuka. Gone was the furious hatred in her eyes. She even seemed to… smile? "Asuka?"
"Baka. Lets go and dye my hair. I'm tired of this 'blue' thing."
Shinji nodded his assent. "You coming, Rei?" He asked after releasing her.
"I… I think I would like that, brother." Rei said then looked at Asuka, 'Sister… Perhaps…' "If you do not mind."
"Why would I mind? You're his sister. That explains a lot." Asuka said haughtily. "Wondergirl and Super Idiot – I always knew you two were related."
'She still hides from her pain.' Rei thought to herself. 'She will not heal until she confronts that pain.'
Rei looked at both Shinji and Asuka, and realized that the future was still cloudy. 'But, now I see a ray of hope.'
None of the three Children in the room noticed, but a small smile had appeared on the face of Ikari Gendo.
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Author's Notes:
I know, I know: Too much backbone. I guess I can take consolation in the fact that there's at least two or three people out there who have been wishing that that would happen. But now that I've given it to him, I don't know how to take it away. ::Sigh:: Oh well. I hope it was enjoyable. I am trying really, really hard to tell this story right.
By the way, I apologize for not having the Hair Dye scene in this chapter. I was looking for a place to put it, and it just didn't fit.
As for Asuka manifesting her powers – lets just say that she was being pure Asuka when she went to the commander's office. Now add Angelic powers to the mix and you get something along the lines of dynamite. Remember, Asuka's not fully aware of just how much she's changed. Maybe I'll save that for a lemon side story. ::PitViper rubs his hands together evilly.::
Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I promise the next will be out soon. Please remember to review – without your feedback and support, I feel as though I'm not doing anyone any good by posting my mental ramblings. ::PitViper looks at the deflated Ego laying next to him.:: I didn't mean to completely deflate it. :).
Thanks,
PitViper.
