To Have Seen an Angel – Chapter 3


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Author's Notes:

I only have a few days a week that I can do anything with my personal time.  It seems that the universe conspires against me and competes for my free time.  But here is another chapter of the story.

I hope you enjoy it.

Later,
PitViper 

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Title                  : To Have Seen an Angel
Universe            : Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre               : Action/Romance
Type                 : Multi-chapter Story
Rating               : R – Adult Language, Graphic Violence, Adult Situations
Disclaimer         : Gainax owns Evangelion.  So does ADV and others.  I don't.  This is just a nonprofit fan-work.  Don't sue me.

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Chapter Three: The Long Road

It's been said, upon the winds of time, that the Universe speaks a language of its own.  It speaks in words as vast as the cosmos and as tiny as a sub-atomic particle.  Those with ancient souls understand this language, and perhaps they tap a small fraction of this intergalactic wisdom when they see the universe around them in ways others cannot.  It is the secret language of mages and wizards that allowed them to command the elements.  It is the language of the Gods that rose to power, and faded into eternity.  It is the language of life… and of death.  And like all languages, the language of the Universe is both bold and strong… and at the same time it is subtle and delicate…

Unfortunately for Asuka Langley Sohryu, the universe didn't have the words "small" or "minor" in its vocabulary when her existence was completely changed.  She had all evening to reflect on that small fact, and most of the morning.  She put up a brave and courageous face for Shinji… But she knew the truth.   She had been irrevocably altered by her experience: Both physically, and mentally.  She was now part something not quite human, and she felt… different.  She could feel her self-determination slipping away like some insubstantial fog lifting from a dew-covered glade.   A fact that became evident as Hikari approached her before class.   

"Asuka, what happened?"  She looked at her friend's eyes with concern.  

Asuka eyes rolled towards the floor as she sighed, "You don't want to know.   Accident during battle.   Pretty ugly." 

"But your skin…" She muttered, then sniffed the air around Asuka's hair.  Her nose crinkled and her eyes shut close has her nasal passages identified the latent odor, "And is that hair dye I smell?" 

Asuka wanted to cringe into a tiny ball.  She had two options, try to deceive Hikari, or let her in and pray nobody else notices.   "I thought that I'd be able to hide it.   The accident was pretty bad… and affected me in… strange ways." 

"Accident?" Hikari looked at her friend.   "I know you've been having trouble…"

"I… I can't tell you what happened… but something bad did happen, and I have to keep it a secret, okay?" Asuka looked longingly at her friend, praying that the conversation would go no further.   Asuka hated having to lie to her only friend, and doubted that she'd be able to deceive anyone in her current state of mind.

"S…sure." Hikari said, looking at Asuka's pleading eyes.

"Not a soul, promise me Hikari?" Asuka asked with a whisper.   

"Not a soul… but after school…"  Hikari's stare held the promise of a long conversation, a conversation that would not recognize the barriers of secrecy and the tenants of subterfuge.   

"Yeah," Asuka muttered with all the energy she could put into it, not looking forward to what was likely to be an interrogation by her best friend. 

"Hey, cheer up.  You're alive, and despite being in desperate need of a good tan, you're perfectly healthy from what I can see."  A dull, lifeless glare filled Sohryu's eyes, and Hikari schooled her features into a stern expression. 'I can't believe this…' Hikari thought, then she lightened up a bit, "You're starting to act like Shinji and Ayanami." Hikari smiled lightly, hoping that the little nudge would break Asuka from her current depressive state. Unfortunately it was not to be - she blanched as she saw Asuka's eyes widen in shock, then return to their previous non-existent care-less glare.    

"I'm nothing like that doll." Asuka asserted – but to anyone who really knew her, the assertion lacked its normal conviction.  In fact, she sounded more like a doll than Ayanami ever had.  

Hikari shook her head, not believing her ears.  "Well… that's true.  But, you need some serious cheering up.   Shopping trip." 

Asuka looked up, and saw the twinkle in Hikari's eyes.   'Shopping?  What for.   I'm the mirror image of that freaking doll…' 

"Come on, Asuka, you're always up for a trip…" 

"Not today…" Asuka said, then suddenly felt a hand on her forehead.  

"No fever.  But the eyes look a bit off…" Hikari looked closer at Asuka's hair. 'Why does it have a purplish tint to it?'  She shook it off.   "The doctor prescribes one hour of shopping excitement.   And that's an order."  

Asuka relented, "Okay."  During a shopping session Asuka could deflect having to answer most of Hikari's burning questions due to the public nature of their mutual activity. 

Hikari blinked.  "Whatever happened must have really got you depressed." 

"Yeah." Asuka agreed.   "Just be glad you didn't have to go through it." 

'I am,' Hikari thought.  'Perhaps this is the real Asuka peering through.   The Asuka that doesn't hide behind false cheer and flippant remarks…'   Hikari closed her eyes for a moment.   Soon the Sensei would arrive and the class would begin.  

"I wonder…" Asuka thought aloud, catching Hikari's attention.   "I wonder if I hadn't…  What would have happened?" 

"Hadn't what?" Hikari moved close, knowing that Asuka would lower her voice.

"Gone up to try to fight the angel."

Hikari looked at her friend, and answered in a no-nonsense tone.  "Then we'd have lost, and most likely wouldn't have been here today." 

"Would have we?" Asuka wondered.   "Maybe.   But somehow, I think… I think Rei would have won." 

"What makes you say that?" Hikari wondered. 

Asuka's distant look became even more distant.  "Because she would die for him."

"Rei?  For who?"

Asuka let her head collapse upon her folded arms, "Shinji…"

With that, Asuka fell silent, looking at the empty seats of Shinji and Ayanami.  'Damn Ritsuko.  Why did she have to schedule that sync test…'

-

Ayanami looked suspiciously at the Doctor.  "You said we had a synchronization test."

"I said that, yes." Doctor Akagi replied carefully, schooling her features in an attempt to deceive the ever more suspicious First Child. 

"But the test plugs are not prepared." Ayanami noted, looking at the nearly empty test room.  Asuka's plug was in storage, and both Shinji's and her test plugs had been removed. 

Maya entered the room.  "The plugs have been prepared…" She started, but Ritsuko cut her off before she could say more. 

"Thank you Maya."

The Lieutenant nodded curtly, and then stole a glance at Shinji and Ayanami before walking out. 

Rei narrowed her eyes.  "What is the purpose of our presence?"

Akagi twitched.  "We're going to be synchronizing…  The plugs have been moved to the former Simulation Body test area."

"No." Ayanami said sternly.

Akagi backed up a step, and Shinji stared at her for a moment.

Shinji's facial expression shifted to one of concern and curiosity, "What's wrong Rei?"

"She's going to synchronize us with the Dummy System."

"Rei…" Akagi warned. 

Ayanami stared at her, and then dismissed her presence.  "Akagi-sempai is going to try to synchronize our souls with the Dummy System.  They are going to try to re-imprint the matrix to allow it to pilot Unit 01."

Shinji muttered with a confused expression, "The matrix?"

"Ayanami that is classified information." Akagi warned, her voice trembling slightly with anger.  "We will be performing a synchronization test…"

"No." Rei said finally.  "You will not." 

"Rei…" Shinji started, then gasped as he watched Akagi pull out a gun. 

"Move away from her, Shinji." Akagi ordered.   Shinji refused to move.

"You aren't going to hurt Rei." 

"Oh really?" Akagi asked, her anger getting the best of her.  "That little bitch thinks she's the commander's favorite now, huh?  There to take my rightful place, eh?"  

"You have no place with the Commander." Rei said softly from behind Shinji, her voice betraying absolutely no fear.   

Akagi's hand trembled slightly before she refocused the weapon.  "Stand Aside, now." 

"I won't let you shoot Rei."  Shinji intoned.  

"I SAID MOVE!" The blonde haired doctor yelled, causing Shinji to flinch.  

"No." Shinji replied.  

"Oh, so you want to protect your precious Rei, eh?" Ritsuko began - a slightly manic edge to her voice.   "Do you know what you're protecting there, Child?"

"I think you should put the gun down." Shinji said between almost-clenched teeth.   His anger was building, and this time the doctor was overstepping her bounds.  

"Oh your pretty little Angel, Rei.  Mother of all sin!" Akagi spat as though the words were acid upon her tongue.

Shinji cocked his head.  "I don't believe you."

"Oh, take a look at your precious Rei, Shinji-kun.   You know her, don't you?  Search your memories of childhood.   Oh you were deeper in Project E than anyone else could ever be – you know it so well.   Don't you?"

"Stop it." Shinji asked, "Please, Doctor Akagi."

"She brought you here, you know.   Your mother.  She was so proud of her creation, her dear Evangelion.   You know all the dirty little secrets…"

"I DO NOT!"  Shinji shook his head.  

"Dirty, Shin-chan." Ritsuko said in a teasingly seductive tone, "Dirty, dirty, dirty.   You remember the room.  The room where you watched your mother wave at you from the distance.   Don't you?   She was wearing a diving suit.   Don't you remember?"

Shinji continued to shake his head, not wanting to hear the obviously insane woman's words.

Rei, however, had her eyes narrowed at the doctor.  

"We Akagi's, we know your mother, Shinji."  Ritsuko said.   "And my mom knew your dad very, very well."

"STOP IT!"

"She and he used to sleep together.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night a few times, listening to their sighs of passion.   You were only a year old at the time.  Oh how I wanted that.  Pity that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting, is it not?"

Shinji's eyes grew wide, "LIAR!"

"Why should you doubt me, Shinji-kun?" Akagi moved around the table, and tried to get a clearer shot at Rei – but Shinji mirrored her movements.  

"Because, it can't be true…"  Shinji said, tears in his eyes. "My father loved my mother.  Even if he never loved me, I… I have to believe that he loved her enough… enough to create me." 

Akagi laughed, "Don't you know anything KID!" She screamed, "You father is a manipulative, self-serving bastard that would screw a donkey if it would help him climb the ladder of Power." 

"Bitch…" Shinji muttered under his breath. 

"I've been called worse." Ritsuko grinned.  "You know, last night as your father was screwing me, he admitted to having another plan in motion… But that's beside the point.  You remember your mother?  You know where she's at, don't you?  Why Eva 01 won't accept anyone else but you?"

Shinji glared at her, "Yeah… I know." 

"Then you should know too… she was put in there by your father. You were there after all.  At the test, you were there." 

Shinji blanched, becoming white as a ghost.  "I… I don't remember…" 

Ritsuko smiled.  "Of course you don't Shinji-kun.  You don't remember your mother waving to you, as she climbed into the entry plug wearing only a skin-suit.  You don't remember the plug going in, and the test starting.  You don't remember when my mother pushed the button… And the…"

"And the alarms went off…" Shinji said, his eyes focused into the distance.  "I could hear… hear her screaming, begging.  She wanted out…  she wanted out.  She was in so much pain.  Then all…"

"All was silence." Ritsuko said, and then added, "And your father smiled." 

A tear fell from Shinji's eye, "Damn you…"

"Too late." Akagi smirked, "Now move aside, surely you know what this abomination is now?  She was made from the putrid disassociated LCL remnants of your mother and of the First Angel.  She's the human embodiment of Lilith, the damned one.  The first wife of Adam, the most vile of the impure: The lowest of the Fallen."

Shinji stared Ritsuko in the eye, "She is not!" His glare narrowed, "She is Rei.  She is innocent.  So what if she is of the flesh of my mother!  So what if she has the soul of an Angel – even a fallen Angel!  She… she's the only family I really have."

"Family?" Shinji heard Rei whisper from behind. 

Akagi continued her stare, as Shinji mustered his courage: "I will not move." 

"I see.  Well, then, Third Child.  You've made your choice.  I'm damned anyways… but for Misato's sake, I give you one last chance to move out of the way."  Akagi said - her voice low and dangerous.  All hint of fear was gone.  All semblance of madness erased – replaced with the low blank voice of a vicious killer who enjoyed the hunt. 

"You'll have to shoot…" Shinji said defiantly.  He felt Rei grasp his shoulder, and move closer to him. 

"Fine." Ritsuko said, leveling the gun without even a hint of uncertainty. 

-

Throughout the armored city of Tokyo 3 the people were happily going about their business - their daily necessary tasks essential to survival causing the masses to scurry to and fro like colonies of ants gathering resources for the hive.  In fact they almost expected at least one daily interruption in their busy schedule – after all, as a fortress city, Tokyo 3 constantly tested its defenses and its population to ensure maximal readiness. 

But certain things would tip off the population to the fact that some alerts may be more real than others.   Many called it the "goose bump" effect.  Whenever an Angel attack occurred, pets, animals, and birds all took to flight – looking for the quickest way away from the epicenter of trouble. 

As the population watched the non-sentient inhabitants of Tokyo 3 begin their evacuation, the goose bumps rose on their skin.  Their fears were confirmed a moment later when the Angel Siren bellowed its mournful wail.

If asked to place bets on whether or not this was an attack from invaders, the population would place their money on an Angel attack.  Alas, if they were to have wagered today, that bet would have been lost.  Because there was only one Angel of the Host remaining to test the world… And though he was there - he was not attacking just yet.

As the streets of Tokyo 3 emptied of their human cargo, and the city's buildings retracted into their defensive state, a young grey-haired, red eyed boy stood in the middle of a deserted street.  With his hands in his pockets, and a carefree smile on his face, he was the epitome of calm.  As the last people scurried into the shelters, away from the danger, he walked briskly down the street, humming the bars to Ode to Joy.  Suddenly he stopped humming and tilted his head. 

"Ah, Mother."  His eyes gazed downward, as if looking through the asphalt at something far below.  "I would have not recognized you.  This might be useful in the future."  

The young boy began walking again, his eyes and head forward as he moved down the center of the street.  For now he had no real name – at least not one that he could reveal.  His real name was Tabris, The Seventeenth Angel: the Angel of Free Will.  Soon he would be Kaworu Nagisa, Fifth Child and Friend to the Third.  But he always enjoyed being Kaworu of the Seashore – for he was most at home near the water: The water that gives life and the water that takes life away.  The water that was as free as his will.  As he walked toward the banks of a nearby lake, the humming of Ode to Joy could be heard – humming, that if one listened closely enough to, sounded as if a choir of angels were singing it from on high…

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Author's Notes:

Well, there you have it.  Another Chapter of To Have Seen an Angel - I hope you enjoyed it.  Sorry about the insane spaces of time between updates, I'm really working on pulling it all back together again. 

As for Ritsuko's actions… well I can't say too much without revealing what I have planned… but believe me, when you find out what happened, and what caused her to be so close to the edge of sanity, it will either make you want to murder me and drag my entrails across the countryside, or you will like what I've done, and you'll enjoy that chapter too.  :D   Just trust my promise that I will be fair to her in the end… as I will attempt to be with all the Eva characters.  The Omakes do not follow the above guarantee.   

As for the Memory of Shinji watching Unit 01's first activation when he was smaller, I improvised a bit.  Not all of it was the truth… some of it was inserted by Akagi to make Shinji angry/frustrated enough to make a mistake and let her kill Rei.

And the part where Ritsuko says "…having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting…"  That's a partial quote from Star Trek: TOS episode Amok Time.  The full quote is said by Spock to T'pring's suitor – "You may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting.  It is not logical, but it is often true." 

As always, feedback is always warmly welcomed. 

Update 1/19: Fixed Kaworu Nagisa's name. I thought something was wrong with it, but thanks to "Kuracao" for pointing it out.

Later,
PitViper(pvalpha@yahoo.com).

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Omake: 

Rei, however, had her eyes narrowed at the doctor.  

"We Akagi's, we know your mother, Shinji."  Ritsuko said.   "And my mom knew your dad very, very well."

"STOP IT!"

"She and he used to sleep together.  I remember waking up in the middle of the night a few times, listening to their sighs of passion.   You were only a year old at the time.  Oh how I wanted that.  Pity that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting, is it not?"

Shinji's eyes grew wide, "LIAR!"

"Why should you doubt me, Shinji-kun?" Akagi moved around the table, and tried to get a clearer shot at Rei – but Shinji mirrored her movements.  

"Because, it can't be true…"  Shinji said, tears in his eyes. "My father loved my mother.  Even if he never loved me, I… I have to believe that he loved her enough… enough to create me." 

Akagi laughed, "Don't you know anything KID!" She screamed, "You father is a manipulative, self-serving bastard that would screw a donkey if it would help him climb the ladder of Power." 

Rei's voice came from behind her Shinji-shield.  "Ah, I understand now." 

Shinji tilted his head as Ritsuko looked quizzically in their direction. 

Rei clarified in her usual tone: "I now understand why people call you an Ass.  You're the commander's donkey.  That efficiently explains what I saw last night.  I believe you no longer have any wisdom to reveal to me." 

With that, Ritsuko couldn't even blink before she experienced the unique sensation of becoming a smear of organic paste against the back wall of the prep room…