Chapter 10: You Can't Lose Me!

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Here's more!

Disclaimer: I own nada. : - )

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You Can't Lose Me!

James and I walked towards the Hogwarts Express, hand-and-hand, and we collected quite a few stares. People were pointing and whispering about us; not that I minded. The train ride was as normal as it could possibly be, with some time for just James and me. We spent much of it like we are right now: Curled up together. (Though we're in the Head's room now) I laid my head on his shoulder and yawned.

"James?"

"Huh?"

"Where are we going to go from here?"

"Sleep," he answered, yawning.

I laughed, "No... really..."

"I don't know Lily. I just want to hold you for a while."

I grinned at him, and then sat up, "You're the most amazing person I've ever met."

"Because I can totally tell. Seeing as your leaving me to sit alone when we've actually got a moments peace!"

I smiled at him. Last time we were alone together, we started snogging. It just happened to be in the Gryffindor common room, and Professor McGonagall didn't feel fit to welcome us back when we were in such a position. I leaned over to kiss him, and he pulled me into a deeper kiss.

"I was so confused before," I admitted.

"About?" he asked, sitting up.

"My feelings."

"Ah... not anymore though. We're in love," he said pulling me closer.

"Do your parents know?"

"Yes... because I love to run home and tell my dad something he'll ignore," he said coldly, moving away as he did so.

"I'm sorry."

He looked away for a moment, and I took his hand in mine.

"I really am, James." He wasn't giving in. "Please don't be like this."

"Look, Lily—"

"Don't fight with me, please James."

I know it probably wasn't the best idea to try to calm James. His dad was really quite bad, and Sirius wasn't much help. But he can get over it. That's what I'm here for.

"None of us will help who he is," I cooed softly. "We've got each other, James. You've got me."

"For now," he said barely above a whisper.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked pulling his face closer to mine.

"What happens after we leave school, Lily?"

"We get jobs, a place to live... an over-all life."

"That's what I mean," he said looking me in the eyes. "You'll leave me... and I'll be miserable—"

"I'm not leaving you," I promised rather forcefully. "I love you."

"For now."

"Stop saying that," I said loudly. "I will always love you James."

"Don't you understand, Lily? I'm afraid I'll lose you."

"How can you lose me when I'm right here?"

"You know what I mean!" he insisted.

"You can't lose me James. I can't believe you're thinking about this. We've only just gotten together. We've only just started our relationship—"

"Is it a crime to want it to last?"

"It will last," I promised, my eyes flashing. "Please James... don't talk about this."

"What should we talk about, then?"

"Anything you want," I said, leaning against his shoulder, and closing my eyes.

"I want to talk about this."

"Why can't we just let it go?!"

"Because I love you, Lily."

"And I love you!"

This conversation was repeating itself, over and over again; it was getting quite old. I didn't want to think about this. We've been going out since Christmas... spending endless hours together.... Can't he tell that I'm not going to leave him?

"I'm saying that I'm scared!"

"All I'm saying is you shouldn't be scared! You're not going to lose me... you're not going to lose me."

"I've loved you for too long to lose you now, Lily."

I closed my eyes and breathed in and out, properly, for a couple moments, then sat up.

"Maybe I'll go to bed," I said thoughtfully.

He looked up at me, and I leaned down to give him a goodnight kiss. Instantly, he kissed back, and with all the force he could muster, he pulled me closer to him. We kissed from a moment and when we stopped I was on his lap, and running my hands through his hair.

"Stay with me tonight."

"Oh—James... I don't know," I said shakily.

And in his eyes I knew he needed it. He needed me to stay with him... to stay in love with him. I would do both. I would stay with him... but tonight? What about... We've only just started going out; not quite, but I know I can't do anything with him yet. It's too soon.

"Just sleep with me."

"What?!" I asked as I spotted his laid back expression.

"Not shagging," he added quickly, and stood up; me still holding onto him, as he carried me up the stairs.

"James..."

"Please, Lil."

It was hard to say no to James. And because it was so hard, I'm just going to give in. Like the day in my sixth year that I found out he loved me. Like the day I found myself almost losing his friendship but taking it back at the last second. Like the day I fell in love with him. So after I changed into my night robe and I walked into and smiled at his messy room.

"You better keep our room clean," I ordered, crawling into bed next to him.

"Our room?" he asked, pulling me closer to him.

"When we get married we'll share a room, I expect."

"Marriage?" he asked, looking at me oddly.

"I've told you already James. I'm in love with you. I'm not going anywhere."

He smiled and gave me a small kiss. I smiled back and pulled him into a hug.

"I love you," I said softly. I changed positions to where we were facing the same way, and hugging at the same time.

"I love you, too."

He pulled me a little closer, as if to make sure I was still there, and would still be there when he woke up the next morning. I could hear his heart beat, and I smiled listening to it.

"You can't lose me."

"And you can't lose me."

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A/N: I've had a tiring day. Long story with a year book meeting, and a flirting editor (he was cute though... grins) But I do admit that I thought this chapter was a bit rushed, and that it could be better. I'll take any suggestions of what should happen next... a fight... a mistake... a date... anything I can't remember? A ball? Just decide... should I skip to graduation? Would you hate me if I did... and what if I wrote three more chapters? (Graduation... Marriage... then the announcement of [my] Lily's pregnancy... and end it there?) LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!!

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