This is hopefully part one of a little fun. I can't give you an idea of what inspired it, as that will give the game away, but I'll give the credit to the appropriate person at the end.

I don't own this people, no not me.

Thanks for Mel for the beta.

Good Morning

Trying to ignore the rising feeling of… the rising feeling of something that was welling up from her stomach, Elizabeth Weir steadied herself and took a deep breath. Then wished she hadn't as her sides protested at the expansion of her lungs. She felt like she'd done ten rounds with a wrestler. She walked gently but sideways into the room. She'd worked out that if she kept her neck absolutely rigid, her head didn't feel like it'd fall off and roll across the floor.

"How is everybody today?" she said, before easing herself into her seat, as carefully as if she had hemorrhoids.

Then she belched, quietly, but belched nevertheless. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked quickly round the table to see if anyone had noticed. Then she wished she hadn't moved her head. Fortunately her head appeared to stay on her neck.

Major Sheppard's team was sitting around the table, waiting for their briefing. That wasn't strictly true, she thought vaguely through the foggy mess that was her brain. McKay looked like someone had superglued his forehead and nose to the table. He was sprawled across the table like someone had crucified him face down. He wasn't moving. Elizabeth wasn't even sure he was alive. John Sheppard slouched in his chair, avatar sunglasses on, hair akimbo and blindly fumbling for the coffee mug in front of him. Tey'la, her face a curious shade of green, pushed it toward him, wincing as the cup scraped across the table. Ford was… Ford was asleep in his chair, mouth hanging open. It wasn't a pretty sight. Elizabeth leant forward… was that drool or a trick of the light?

Her stomach did that rising feeling thing again. She belched. This time Sheppard noticed. He looked up from his coffee and smirked at her across the rim of the mug. Then the sunlight streaming into the room reminded him he couldn't see and he growled in pain.

"Major," She turned to Sheppard. "Given the status of you and your team today, I suggest we postpone this briefing."

Sheppard opened his mouth, thought for a moment and then remembered why his mouth was open.

"Aw, come on!" he said finally, sounding like someone had smacked him in the mouth. "You had as much to drink as the rest of us…"

"Unlike you and the rest of your team, I can hold my liquor, Major," she said primly, shuffling her papers, and then belched again.

There was a groan from McKay. Apparently he was still alive and sentient. "Could you talk any louder?" he muttered into the table. "I don't think my ears have bled enough this morning."

"Yes," Tey'la spoke. "The noise in this room this morning appears to be extremely painful" At that Ford slid in his seat next to Tey'la and his head dropped onto her shoulder. Tey'la winced again as Ford snuggled into her neck and muttered "mommy."

Tey'la pushed Ford off her. He flopped forward in his seat, head wilting like a dehydrated plant. Elizabeth wondered how he managed to stay upright but he seemed to be perfectly balanced on the fulcrum of his ass.

Intrigued by the fact that he could do such a feat and remain soundly unconscious Elizabeth didn't realise she had been staring at Ford's amazing balancing talents until Sheppard remarked "I'm surprised at you, Tey'la. I thought you would've been used to Athosian liquor"

At that, Tey'la stood up suddenly and swayed. "Please excuse me, Dr Weir. Major Sheppard," she said and ran out the room.

"What did I say?" Sheppard asked the ceiling.

"I don't know, Major" Elizabeth was amused despite the ever present rising feeling in her gut. "Perhaps you reminded her about how she sank ten Athosian gins and drank Carson Beckett under the table."

"That reminds me, " he said, leaning over the table and wagging a finger at her "You owe me. I told you Tey'la could drink any man under the table."

"Ah," said Elizabeth, her mind struggling to find a way to avoid paying out the bet she'd made with Sheppard during the previous nights festivities. It was too much effort. With a sigh, she reached into her pocket, took out her last chocolate bar and looked at it wistfully. It was small, but it was her last one.

Then she tore off the wrapper, and stuffed the whole bar into her mouth.

"Hey! That was mine!" Sheppard got out of his chair, but then his knees buckled. She smirked and flicked the wrapper across the table at him. Rising feeling be damned, she thought, it was worth it to see the look on his face. She belched. Again.

"People! My ears!" Rodney moaned into the table again. Elizabeth looked around her. Major Sheppard was sitting opposite her, with hair that looked like it'd had a herd of cows trampling through it and sporting stubble that would have put Long John Silver to shame, Rodney McKay was sprawled out face down on the table like some bizarre sacrifice and Aiden Ford was balanced just so, head in chest - was that drool or was it a trick of the light?

The surrealness of the situation suddenly struck her and she began to laugh. Then wished she hadn't because her sides hurt so goddamn much. She winced.

"I am going to retire to my quarters, Major." She stood up, a little too quickly, but when the world steadied itself, she found Sheppard looking at her with a puzzled expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Are you okay?" he said, peering at her. "Your face, it's all … blotchy."